The Ever Secret Diary of Sirius Black
by Amalynne Olivier
Summary: Sirius Black is dead, but a memory of him still remains. Rummaging through Padfoot's old possessions, Remus discovers a bit of the past in a diary. Similar to a Tom Riddle's diary experience, with 6th Year Sirius Black. **Year 7 sequel fanfic: The Not-So Secret Dairy of Sirius Black posted**
1. The Marauder's Memories

_Disclaimer: All rights, characters and names belong to Rowling, I Amalynne O'hara own nothing, sadly. _

_N/A: Once you get past the intro it's swift reading, so fear not dear reader. _

_>>>>>>_

"You might think of Harry," said Dumbledore, "When you look through Sirius' things. He'd treasure a memory of his godfather. You will look won't you Remus and find something for the boy, something for yourself too perhaps?"

Remus smiled slightly, "Of course Albus. Sentiment really wasn't one of Padfoot's traits, but I'll look nonetheless."

"Good man," Dumbledore pat Remus on the shoulder. "I doubt the Marauders would leave their legacy unknown, Sirius was never one to disappoint… you'll find something Moony my lad," Dumbledore winked, and then turned the brass doorknob, exiting Grimmauld place.

Something for Harry, something that had belonged to Sirius? Remus could hardly think what this could be. Whatever it was, it could only be found here in this most ancient house of Black. Mrs. Black had been silenced in the hall and Kreacher had left, most undoubtedly, for the Malfoy's, his new masters. An eerie silence crept from the floorboards and the rafters. A chilly fear began to slip back into #12's rooms, that lonely darkness had returned. Abandoned and masterless, this house now seemed as it was before Sirius had returned.

Remus stood alone in the stairwell, feeling these intimidating new pressures of the house, recalling Sirius' loathing for it. Buckbeak screeched from upstairs and the silence was broken. Removing himself from his daze, Remus made his way up the stairs to the hippogriff's room. He pacified the beast with a bounty of dead rats, and then began looking through the drawers in a vanity on the opposite wall.

Articles of old clothing, a number of odorous mothballs, and some eau de toilette were found in the first drawer, disappointing Remus greatly. He progressed to the second and third, discovering more amounts of clothing and a collection of chocolate frog cards. He made a mental note to give them to Ron on their next meeting. Coming to the fourth and final drawer, Remus was pleased to find something of greater interest, newspaper clippings form the Daily Prophet, neatly placed in a wooden box. Some articles dated back fifteen and sixteen years before, to the early years of Voldemort's fall. Remus was quite intrigued, but he wasn't sure they would be a suitable enough memory for Harry, so delved deeper.

Under the wooden box lay a mirror, Harry had the other one, Remus remembered, and set it aside as something of a keepsake. Some unmatched socks and Bertti Botts' Beans wrappers later, Remus fingered a small box in the back of the drawer. It looked as if it could hold no more than a ring, hinged in wood, with black paint chipping on the corners. A single golden _S_ was etched on the top, and a metal clasp kept the box shut, in an elaborate _B_. Remus shook it, no sound, then cautiously lifted the latch. The little box appeared empty, until it began to expand and grow in his hands. It had soon morphed into a giant chest, now heavy and painful on Remus' lap. It took great effort to pull the chest off him, but when he did, he found it full and overflowing with treasures from the past.

Treasure such as: dress robes from seventh year, a crimson and gold tie dotted with lipstick (Remus shook his head humorously at this), an innocent looking pocket comb that folded into a knife, a yellowing pearl strand (Remus recalled that Sirius gave this to every girl he dated for a time, then asked for it back upon a breakup), and a folded leaflet that read the word _Marauders_. Remus opened it only to find a ticktacktoe game between James and Sirius, in which Prongs had suffered considerable losses. Remus could hardly understand why anyone would keep such a frivolous item, so tossed it aside in a growing pile on the floor. He glanced away, but then quickly glanced back. A word had caught his eye on the supposed ticktacktoe game, a particularly naughty swear word.

He picked up the aged parchment once more only to find the hidden truth of this document. Remus now knew it to be a game to see who could out wit the other with retorts and saucy comebacks. This had been a way of practice for Padfoot and Prongs, to sharpen their tongues a bit. This time James had the higher score, he had out witted Padfoot's insult of "_Gag a maggot you filthy faggot!_" to "_Kiss me here, cow derriere!_" Remus slipped the parchment into his robes, he would keep that, he really didn't think it was suitable for Harry.

Beneath Sirius' first detention slip Remus caught a glimpse of a miniature waving arm. He removed the detention to see a weathered old photograph of the Marauders, twenty years before. They were all about fifteen, in their fifth year, standing outside the Hogwarts express, waving at the camera. James kept frowning and smiling, rumpling his hair and rubbing his nose. Peter was waving energetically to James' left (Remus' right), hyper and tensed, his blue eyes bulging. Remus' sight drifted to his fifteen year old self. It was obvious he was straining a smile and he had a really longing look of some good bed rest. Remus sighed and let his eyes travel back to the other side of James, to the half hidden face of Sirius. James' hair was blocking most of Sirius' face from view, but that rich, daring smile made him ever recognizable. It seemed he hadn't been ready for this shot, because it was known that he, Sirius, loved to hog the spotlight. James and Sirius were always at competition for attention and this didn't fail for pictures. Apparently, James had won this time.

The photo beneath flattered Sirius much more. It was of him, alone, leaning with a certain grace against the stairwell to the boys dormitories in the Gryffindor common room. This shot, Remus guessed, was taken in about their sixth year, he determined by Sirius' height and build. He could be no older than sixteen here. Sirius' face was drawn in a winning half smile, his eyes of a haunting smoky gray were illuminated in the dieing firelight of the common room, and his head was cocked back in a relaxed and confident manner. Elegant layers of black hair fell neatly to his shoulders, not too neatly, just ruggedly enough to set female hearts aflutter. Remus felt a twinge of jealousy for Sirius' looks, quickly putting it behind him, remembering the sunken, doleful eyes of Azkaban he had later received.

In his youth, Remus' envy grew much deeper. He had hated Padfoot at times for the way his clothes fit and flowed with him so perfectly, how girls gawked and squealed at the sight of him in the halls, and how he could pick and choose between the lot of them. Sixteen-year-old Remus had not had such luck, yes he had admirers and girlfriends, but they never stuck around long enough. Come full moon and his seclusion, girls had lost their trust for him, and thought him off with another. Remus remembered one occasion where Sirius had mentioned taking a moonlit stroll with a date. Remus had promptly told him to shut up, and then confined himself to the dormitory all night, hiding under his sheets as he cried. Remus dismissed this memory too. After all, this was no time to feel sorry for himself, this was time to think of Harry, for Harry.

He pushed the photos aside, thinking them too painful and grabbed the next best thing in the chest. It was a blue, cracked leather booklet, water stained and yellow paged. He flipped through the leaves, only to find the pages blank. Remus stopped, looking back to the book's cover again. Somehow it was familiar, he had seen this book before, but… wait! This was no book, a journal, this was Sirius' diary. The memory flashed bright and sudden in Remus' mind. This journal he had seen on Sirius' pillow in the mornings, left on the floor some days, pilled with text books and papers, but always greeted by Sirius some point in the day, when he wrote in it.

Recalling Sirius' will never to divulge personal information to a soul, save James maybe, Remus searched for the mystery behind this diary. He pondered a moment, and then opened the cover to the first blank page. To his surprise, words in an elegant script began to flow before him on the yellowing parchment.

"_Welcome…_" scrolled an elegant narrow script, the words vanished, "_…to… The_ _Ever Secret Diary of…_" the words faded and were replaced by fresh ink, this time in a messy scroll, "_…Sirius Black… Please enter password_." The page stalled a moment and then a thick black line entered across the middle. "_X_".

Remus gazed at the page, contemplating Sirius' choice words, and wondered too, at the mischief he could have plagued upon this book in his youth. So Remus chose carefully and wrote "_Padfoot, the Grim_."

"_Ooh! Very good…_" the page replied, "_But… WRONG!_" The page showed a frowning face, which took pleasure in blowing raspberries at the viewer. The tattered leaves ruffled menacingly in a sudden breeze. There was a flash of light and the book glistened gold from the centers. The writing returned.

"_Just kidding… you're right!_" The frowning face smiled and said, "_Enter_." But not before more writing appeared on the page…

"_Master Black bids you his complements and that you will forgive him for playing with your mind… he also endows you the burden of knowing the secret of the great prodigy and kingly God, Sirius Black. He makes it clear that you yourself are under an oath secrecy and that before embarking one must remember that past soon becomes present and present become future and that Sirius Black hardly ever thought that at all… he will also state that he is exceedingly bored and that is the only reason he is writing in third person… to himself in fact… oh what a wonderful life." _

Remus turned the page, and in Sirius' sixteen-year-old scrawl, shown the date _June 28th, summer before sixth year_.

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_"So what'd you think? **TELL ME, TELL ME! REVIEW**!" the insignificant speck cried out into the abyss_.


	2. London Excursions

Disclaimer: Never have, never will own anything of Rowling's, there it's said, now you can read...

**June 28th, summer before 6th year: **

_Me, with a diary amazing isn't it? Well what's really amazing is how I got it in the first place. It's kind of like a last resort. This landed in my hands and at first I thought it was prank material, but I really don't think any prank is worth 200 pounds. You'll get what I mean soon enough. What do I mean you? Who am I talking to? The bindings? Pages? The spirit of the diary? Do diaries have spirits? That's nuts! So who am I talking to, myself? Ya, that works, so Padfoot this one's for you. This is a lot crazier than I thought it'd be. _

_Today ended the school semester. Fifth year is now behind me! We pulled into King's Cross-station promptly at eleven. I told Mum to pick me up at six, so James and I could "carouse" a bit of London. His mum's staying a ways north in Hampstead for the weekend, so she took his stuff and left us for the day. I don't think she would have left him if she knew what would happen. _

_I left my trunks in the men's lavatory at the station. Very filthy in there, but I locked my stuff up in a cubicle and James slapped on an "Out of Order" note to the door, so no one would bother it. From there we headed down south for lunch. James dragged me up and down and around the whole bloody city and somehow we ended up in Notting Hill. Snotty district in my opinion, but James said there were girls. Whatever, all I saw were forty year old blobs, tourists, and snappy old ladies. So after about five minutes, we established the place was a bore. I don't know what James was thinking, maybe he was trying to entertain me, but he stopped this old hag. A real frosty brawd, hand bag, white gloves, white hair, older than Noah, and asked her if she'd be interested in a dinner date and that he really went for old girls with blue hair. Never did he think her response would be so harsh! She whacked him! Swung that moldy old purse of hers and whacked him! _

_The look on Prongs face will stick forever, total shock. I think she'd just gone shopping because the main contents of her bag were canned goods, that's what really made the impact, I think. I didn't even realize I was laughing and the woman whacked me too! Not a pleasant feeling, my ears were ringing. She must have had a year's supply of green beans in that bloody sack. James, the idiot, started howling, laughing at me like a hysterical maniac. Granny took it to offense then took another round at whacking the both of us. The old girl was making such a scene that it caught the attention of a constable. _

_He must have thought we were trying to mug her or something, because he grabbed James by the back of his shirt and me by my hair (I think I have a bald spot now, the git!) and accused us of harassing a fine old senior. James protested by saying he was only complementing her on her hair, and I tried to shed some light on the fact that she was pummeling us for no reason. Her excuse was self-defense. Oh God! Really, defense from what James' breath! I hope she gets a nice little hot seat in hell for that one. Ha! I can just imagine it, her blue hair flaming, what a lovely picture. _

_So anyway, James had put us in a right ugly spot. The constable still had us captive to his grip and James just had to say something else, open his big fly trap and get us in a mess. He let in another one, saying he guessed this meant Gran wouldn't go out with him, and she went at us again with her bag. Luckily, she missed James and hit the constable, who doubled in pain on contact. This made way for our escape, we high tailed it up the street. James made a b-line for the nearest shop and I followed. The constable was screaming after us and I knew we were in deep water. He passed the shop, he hadn't seen us go in (thankfully). Once he was off my mind, I realized what kind of ruddy shop James had led me into. It was one of those antique places, great, more old ladies. I think you have to be an antique to work in an antique shop, don't you? The constable passed again and James dragged me behind a large vanity display. Safe from view I was sure to give him a good punch, the dolt! _

_The shop lady or whoever she was, said some junk about loitering not being allowed and that you had to buy something or leave. I stalled with the usual just looking and watched the constable pass twice more. The shopkeeper nagged us again and I just grabbed whatever. It happened to be this ancient little blue book. If I'd seen what the heck I'd picked up, I wouldn't have bought it at all. So I threw the thing down on the counter, and James handed her the entire contents of his pocket (now that I look back on this, I see what a real sneaky weasel that woman was). She looked at the cash then said all sly like if we wanted any change. With out thinking much James said no, and I grabbed my withered new piece of rubbish (Withered? New? It made sense the first time anyway) and just dashed out of there. We escaped the constable and hailed a taxi. _

_Finally able to breathe freely, I really gave it to Prongs. Just because I said I was bored didn't mean I wanted chaos. Yes, I admit, it would have been funny if I wasn't black and blue with bruises from a bag and a bat, not to mention a fresh new gap on the back of my head, but James is a little crazy sometimes. When he suggested a visit to Piccadilly Circus I'd just about had enough, so I persuaded him (God! That was some chore) to retrieve my baggage at the station. By that time it was almost seven thirty. I was an hour and a half late and mum would be furious with me, if she was still there that is. And as expected, she was nowhere in sight. _

_I snagged my trunks avoiding the creepy homeless mate outside the cubicle and waited with James in the parking lot. As it turned out, his mum agreed to pick us up and drop me off at Grimmauld Place. James leaves Hampstead tomorrow morning for York, and who knows when I'll hear from him next. He's really bad a writing letters, gets one sentence in at the most and it's usually just, "How are you, hope you're well –ciao". There's some hope he might invite me over though, maybe in July. It'd sure beat here…_

_Oh ya, so it turns out James just gave that nutty shopkeeper a bit of a fortune, two hundred pounds! Ya, he's bloody rich. When he told me how much he gave her, he just shrugged and said muggle money is worth less than galleons anyway. It really gets to me how he can shrug off that kind of money. James has got as many galleons as he has detentions, and that's saying something. I think we're at a tie now, between the two of us, James and I, we have about a hundred fifty, even then I'd say that's a little low though. We're going for the record. Filch says the worst, sorry I mean best, was a hundred n' ten. We're close to beating it, with two more semesters I'd say it's an easy goal. James is rather proud of the tallies Filch engraved on the back of his office door for our detentions. Remus reckons he needs a new door now, he's running out of room. We have files too! Judith Stebbins said I have my own drawer. That just gives me a warm, happy feeling inside. You know that feeling, the one where you love the world. I could almost kiss Kreacher it makes me… wait, I'm taking that back (vomiting feeling now). _

_Filch says our days are numbered, every year he begs McGonagal to expel us. I think she would, if James didn't keep the house cup in her office, Quidditch helps a bundle with points. But our days? Numbered? Oh I love that man, Filch. Every detention of ours is another daisy for his grave, I daresay we're sending him there rather quickly. _

_Hey, there's a moon tonight. I know, big whoop, the moon, but it's Remus I'm thinking about. Wonder how's he's doing, looks as if he's got a bit less than a week 'til that time. Poor bloke, he has it worse off than any of the Marauders. Well, with that happy note, I end my entry. _

_Dang! It's long! I've never written this much in my life! Heck, there's always a first for everything, just as long as I don't make this a habit. I don't want to turn into Snivellus. That thought makes me want to bathe. I need to go ice my forehead, I could really kill that woman! Rejection by an old woman, that should lower James' self-esteem, considering he can't get Evans either. _

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**N/A: As always, leave a review!**


	3. Waiting and Response

Disclaimer: These are really rather drab to do, but anyway, I Amalynne O'hara am a sixteen-year-old prodigy withno interest in possessing any of Rowling's material, she herself owns the rights to it all, and thank goodness!

**July 12th, summer:**

_Two weeks later and no letter from James. I'm dieing here, I've never known such boredom. What does he want me to do, rot here all summer? I've been here two weeks, two! Is it just too hard to take up pen and paper and write, "Yes Sirius, you can come over," or is he too busy polishing his broom or playing the field. I wish I could! But no! It's complete and total confinement here. Padfoot's been out a few times, but it's never slipped Mum's sight. Both times when I got back, I received a healthy screaming. The same old lecture, don't go mixing with muggles, dirty folk, filthy blood and all that crap! _

_James' parents don't care where the hell he goes, or what he does. That's why I love them really. I mean sure, they're not actually going to allow him tocarouse at night or embark on Marauder activities, but they're way more lenient. I don't think they know half the stuff we do. James'd probably be dead if they did. _

_They're hardly as harsh too. If Prongs gets a detention (well one detention, that's nothing, but I'm talking like ten or so), his mum sends him a nice little letter with the usual, "Act like a big boy, you know how to behave, we expected better of you", nice stuff like that, but I get the howlers. Mum sends the ones that chew at your fingers if you don't open them and explode in your face no matter what. Luckily, I had Peter open the first few, until he got wise to me. I think after five hair regrowth treatments with Madame Pompfrey (James and I guess he has a thing for her now, not a bad looking witch at all really), he kind of shied away from mail all together. But ya, Mum's a nasty woman._

_I think I'm dead, I really do, because I know I'd rather die than write. I'm so bored I'm dead and James is a stupid ugly pratt that can't send a letter. Am I actually liking this, am I enjoying writing? Have I switched bodies with Remus? Will I ever see the light of day? Will I ever see another girl? Will I ever go out with another girl? Will I ever make lo—, okay stopping there. _

_This is too depressing. I should have known this would happen. I'm addicted to my diary. God save the Queen! It's always that way isn't it though? You're good at potions, but you hate it, you love Quidditch, but you can't play it, you like a girl, but she hates you. Oh! Reminiscent of James. God, I hate James! So does Lily Evans, and for once I'm happy about it. I've told him, but he won't listen to me, he bugs her too much. Watch, if he gives her the silent treatment she'll be all over him. But, he thinks he'll win her with his "charms". Heck, he didn't even pass Charms. You'd think he'd learn, wouldn't you? Enough about James, it just makes me feel sick. Whatever, it's late._

**July 13th, summer:**

_Okay so I lied, I don't hate James. I got his response this morning. I'm cow towing it out of here (damn that's an annoying saying, "cow towing it", what am I a ranch hand?) sun up tomorrow morning._

_Freedom will soon be mine, along with breathable air. Mum burns this nasty incense rubbish, it makes the whole house smell like musty old peppermint. It's really potent down stairs, so I've been lounging in the upper loft, but the smell's still pretty bad. It's like she's re-embalming the freaky elf heads._

_When I was real small, I used to have dreams that the heads could talk, and that they'd try to jinx me when I'd pass. Creepy, stuff for nightmares. You know, they should really give house elves more clothing. I think they need to well, cover up. When I look at Kreacher I want to gag. It's not as bad as the guttural wrenching spasms I get when I look at Mum. Was she human once? Uncle swore she had looks at a time, unbelievable! I still don't believe him. Personally I think she's part banshee, and I'd like to think I was adopted. It would certainly put so many of my fears to rest. Things like, will I get ugly like Mum? Was I born ugly, did I morph? I'm I part banshee too, am I subject to become a filthy old Black like my fathers. No, I only have one father (even then that's doubtful), I'm just using ancient terminology. I swear, I'm turning into Remus. Any way, back to the ugly thing. I know my "perfect" baby brother will be uglier than me (he already is. Me conceited? Why you flatter me so), don't ask me why, it's just another gut feeling of mine._

_So with a heart wrenched sigh, I must part Grimmauld place (HA! Ya right). So, see you again in paradise._

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**(Note from the nagging author... n/a): Well now, you must know that it is vital to my health that you submit a review ;). -Amalynne**


	4. A Black Memory

Disclaimer: I really should do these, but I often forget so, here goes... Golly gee I'd love to own the rights to all this bloody wonderful stuff, but Rowling is the genius and not I, so the credit all belongs to her, the master.

_N/A: Sorry it took me a while to post this, I was helping my great old gran move so I was sort of busy. Oh! But lucky me I get her old Pink Floyd records out of the deal, yay! Ya well I'm going to shut up so you can read, tell me what you think.  
_

* * *

Remus paused, that couldn't be it. Sirius' parents would never have just let him up and leave, they were after all, much too harsh for that. There was something Sirius was hiding, something he had purposely forgotten and left out. Remus thumbed through the diary looking for more on July 13th's entry, but none appeared.

He sighed, Sirius had secrets he couldn't even tell his diary, things he never wanted to admit or speak of. Remus ran his fingers between the page and the binding, feeling what seemed to be remnants of a torn out page. This must have been it, he thought, the truths of Sirius' escape and secrets of the Black family. It must not have been a pleasant memory at all. Remus noted that Sirius never wrote the depressing, and in this instance things just must have been too hard to face. One year, Sirius had mumbled something about his father having a "firm hand", Remus suspected this to mean abuse, but pressed the matter no further, if Sirius wanted to forget it, he should too.

Yes, it would make sense why Sirius never wrote of his great struggles and pains to escape the noble and most ancient house of Black, it must have been a panging, sickening memory that he yearned never to remember. Sirius must have enjoyed the memory of James and the Potters much more, for he was gracious enough to enter a little blurb about them in his next entry:

**July 16th, summer**:  
_It was a sort of shock when I first got here. Everyone's so happy, it's a real change from home. I have my own room! Not that that's a big deal or anything, I had my own room at home, but the Potters are quite generous and Mrs. Potter's sweet. How she ended up with a son like James, I'll never know. I thought amiable women bred amiable sons, I suppose I was wrong, I mean look at me and my mom (should that have been my Mum and I? Grammatical errors, I'm fretting over grammatical errors, my brain has certainly been tweaked, perhaps it's the fresh air).  
_

_We're a ways off in the country, but there's a town close enough and I look forward to seeing what's out there (in a feminine sense, that is). I'm overwhelmed, big house, lots of windows, lots of light, big gardens, loads of flowers, essence of heather, and overall a heaven (compared to Grimmauld place, ya really). Mrs. Potter's into the family thing. Family dinners, family outings, family games, it's going to take some getting used to. The only time our whole family's been together, all at once, in the same room, was for a family picture. I've taken notice though, that Mum bought a frame (extremely gaudy, rot iron, a huge ugly thing) that_ _blocks most of me from view. She claims I'm still there, you can see my hand. _

_Oh but I don't give a damn about any picture with them. Personally, I'd fancy a removal of my name on the family tree, and a certificate of disownment. Is there even such a thing? Well I'd prefer it that way, make it nice and confidential, to prove I have nothing to do with them. Shut up Sirius, no one wants to hear you whine. _

_Mrs. Potter wants me to call her "Mum Potter", that's sweet I guess. She really cares, or seems to. Gets all in a tizzy she does, worries about my hair, the state of my clothes, the fullness of my belly, makes me wash my face, and scrub behind my ears. It's a nice switch, finally a maternal figure. Mum was never much for nurturing. To her, a swift hand always did the trick. Sure as hell it did the trick, right on my bloody face it did the trick. _

So, Sirius did admit some things. However subtle or light in their mention, Remus knew Sirius' parents were nothing short of regrettable.

* * *

_N/A: Ya, I know that was short, but I felt I had to isolate the Sirius and his family problem thing, it seemed like such a big part of his life I just couldn't forget it. So tell me, do you think Sirius is getting to whinny, to sentimental, not sentimental enough? Is the dialogue up to par? I'm getting to more action in the following chapters so hold on for that. Give me your thoughts, thank you, thank you. -Ama _


	5. Remus Remebers

Disclaimer: Rowling owns all.

_n/a: Now, let us embark, if you please..._

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It appeared as though Sirius was too busy to write for the next two weeks, because his latest entry was documented on August the first and was written in a hurried almost illegible scrawl.

**August 1st, summer:**

_Been busy, York is gorgeous, and if it's not to bold to say, so are the girls (Hey, I'm not the most forward thinking lad in the world, that title I can safely say belongs to Remus, you wouldn't think it would you? Well everyone has their secrets)._

Remus stopped a moment. Him, forward? He'd never thought of himself that way, perhaps Sirius was joking. If he was, Remus didn't think it humorous.

_Don't ask what I've been up to, it'd take me a novel to write, and besides, this time it's a bit personal. Then what's the point of a diary you ask? I don't know, I'm an amateur remember.__James is crazy, won't go out with anyone. He says they're all ugly, but come one, you'd trust his taste? No, I think he's holding out for Evans. Why won't he admit it? We already know he likes her, loves her even maybe. I think I'll make him admit to it.  
_

_-Padfoot at Prongs' _

_Oh! And no word from Moony, I don't think he's doing well, full moon you know._

Remus felt a hot anger seer back into him, an anger he had felt greatly in his youth. That's all he, Remus got, a blurb, a slight recognition in Sirius' thoughts. That's all he was then right? It was Sirius and James, James and Sirius, and Remus was shoved to the side with Peter. Yes, Remus thought bitterly, Moony was the source of a joke, lame, lily liver Moony. Sirius had always thought of him as a bit of a party pooper, and at times "a reserved little snot". Of course, these words brought Remus to jump to action, that kind of insult from his friends was unbearable. It was nothing compared to how James and Sirius treated Peter however. Wormtail, was a real gas when it came to poking fun at. He'd just laugh along with Sirius and James like the stupid ugly idiot he was, and fawn over James like a god. Remus recalled the boys' irksome mousy antics, and his utmost need to please Padfoot and Prongs, and Moony really, too.

"You're really swell James you really are!" squealed Wormtail one afternoon out on the school grounds. He had said this after James had jinxed Tallulah Stover's head of elegant blonde hair into a mess like Medusa (it's what you can imagine really, snakes and the whole bit), this was after she asked Sirius out. Obviously, his answer had been no.

"Swell Wormtail, swell?" sneered Sirius, "Who tweaked your tongue, no one says swell! Who've you been talking to your Grandfather, playing Bingo with old brawds, come off the swell bit." Peter was taken aback, but quickly apologized, he best not antagonize Sirius when he was in spirits such as these.

"S-sorry, it just came out. I won't say it anymore if it... I mean if you don't care for—"

"Damn, don't you know when to stop, shut up!" snarled Sirius, "You keep going at it." Wormtail knew to be silent now, he just nodded his head furiously in agreement.

James and Remus walked briskly at Sirius' side, Peter trailed a ways behind, they were heading to the lake, James had wanted to show them something there. It was fifth year, O.W.L.s were almost underway and a feeling of high tension buzzed about the school.

"McGavvot fainted this morning in Potions," mused Moony airily, "O.W.Ls must be getting to her."

James nodded, "Yeah I saw that," he mumbled unconcernedly. "Why do you mention it Moony, you like her?"

Remus hesitated, "Well I..."

"Spit it out Moony, yes you do," said Sirius irritably, but his scowl soon made it's way into a curious smile. "You do don't you?"

Remus looked to his feet, they had made it to the lake's edge. He shrugged his shoulders. "It wouldn't matter if I did," he sighed, "She wouldn't go out with me anyway."

"You don't know that." James said, fiddling with a twig he'd found on the ground. "Never know 'till you ask her." James through down the twig and looked up at Remus squarely. "Give yourself more credit mate, ask her out." James' hazel eyes were so intent and hopeful, that Remus had to look away.

"Yeah, well I don't really think I like her," he mumbled, hoping this conversation would end.

"Whatever," said Sirius, "Suit yourself Moony." He apparently wanted to dismiss this subject as much as Remus, his attention caught by something red and glowing in the water. "Oy! You see that?" he cried. The glowing object shown bright for an instant, then vanished.

"What? What is it?" squeaked Peter.

"Your stench Wormtail, now move over," grumbled James, shoving Peter aside, as to get a better look at Sirius' discovery.

"It's gone now." Padfoot sighed, "Looked like... what was it you wanted to show us Prongs? You said..." The red object appeared again, swiveling and growing.

"There! There it is!" Sirius shouted, pointing. His finger followed this direction of the glowing red orb. The Marauders stood hovering over the lake, intent on their new finding.

"Blimey," said Remus under his breath, the orb was certainly growing, it's brightness now near blinding. The boys begin to back away from the lake, as the red light neared. Closer, closer, and growing and... the orb was making it's way out of the water, followed by thick leathery gray skin. There was a great splash and the object submerged.

The Marauders now stood soaking, glaring at Sirius. "The squid dimwit!" James cried, "It was just the giant squid, now look at us, we're soaked, some eye you have." The glowing object had merely been the eye of the squid and it grew because of its pupil.

"It looked like something!" Sirius bellowed back, "How was I supposed to know."

"Got us all worked up because it was so shiny and pretty wasn't it Padfoot." James sighed, then looked about him. All the Marauders had received a healthy soaking. Remus looked slightly disgruntled, yet amused. Peter, the idiot was smiling stupidly, and Sirius greatly resembled a shaggy wet dog, his hair hardly as neat as previous times. James smiled humorously, "Well won't have to take a shower will we?"

"I like him better wet!" giggled a voice from behind, "Gives him a bit of the grunge look don't you think Opal." The Marauders turned to see the slim, and though they hated to admit it, rather attractive figure of Narcissa Black.

"Who are you talking about?" jeered Sirius, his eyebrows narrowed, the sight of his cousin was an unpleasant one.

"Not you, ugly." spat Narcissa, "Doll face." she giggled again.

Sirius face turned stone and his words were ice cold. "Sorry, cousin, Peter's not for sale."

"Eew!" shrieked Narcissa's companion, Opal. "Not that wimpy little flee, we mean the tall one."

"He has a name you know," Sirius drawled.

"We know that," snapped Naricissa. "James." She giggled again, eyeing Prongs fancifully. James stepped back, he'd let Sirius fight his battle. He raised his eyebrows and felt a twinge of disgust, Narcissa liked him? "_Eew_!" he thought, mimicking Opal.

"I thought you went for gits like Snivellus," snorted Sirius in a haughty laugh.

Narcissa scowled at him. "There's a difference between those I associate with and those I have my eye on," she winked at James, who now wore a frown of frustration.

"Is there? Well I'm afraid you're out of luck, because we can't stand to have the presence of ogres in our company!" Sirius sneered.

"Oh, really witty. I'm so pained cousin, I could lay down and die, I wish you'd shut up so we can talk to the gorgeous one."

Opal let out a deep heartfelt sigh, "He is the gorgeous one." Her eyes were planted on Sirius with longing. Sirius face contorted in disgust, now apparently at a loss for words.

This time Remus spoke. "Aren't you with Lucius, Narcissa?" he asked innocently.

"Hmmm?" she asked, rather surprised that he could speak.

"Lucius, you're going out aren't you?"

"Yes, so what about it?"

"That's him isn't it?" Remus pointed a far, to the figure of a tall blonde boy, making his way out onto the palace grounds.

Narcissa's eyes widened. "So it is," she said softly. "Well then I must depart mustn't I?" she said snobbishly, tossing her golden locks behind her.

"Yes, you must," growled Sirius, fists clenched at his sides.

Narcissa turned to go, flashing James a gorgeous smile. "See you around beautiful," she said only so James could hear, then departed, Opal trailing at her heal, eyes still fixed dreamily on Sirius.

"Disgusting," spat Sirius, "Absolutely disgusting!"

Remus awoke suddenly. He had been dreaming, dozing over Sirius diary. He didn't know why he remembered that incident of all times. The past does funny things, it creeps upon you at unexpected times and haunts you when you ought not to be haunted. The past had pounced upon Remus like this and now this memory stung him afresh. Narcissa had like James, yes she had. He had been thinking of Peter and let his thoughts wander. What a funny thing to remember indeed.

* * *

_N/A: So, what'd you think? Liking it? Not liking it? I need to know these things, I don't want to be writting a story that's a loss. More to come, some action, yay!-Ama_


	6. September 1st

Disclaimer: I own nothing, that sums it up nicely I think.

_N/A: Sorry if I made Sirius seem real... I don't know anal maybe, or grouchy, but I just wanted to sort of set his mood. Haughty and arrogant from a view yet jovial and daring with his friends, sort of a two-sider. He really is only that mean to Peter and his cousins, I guess he was having a bad day there in the previous chapter. He'll be better next time, I promise. Sirius and I had a lovely little chat about it and he agreed to behave himself if I put a girl in the story for him, so here we go... _

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Remus flipped through the rest of August to find the content mainly on an Amber Rose and Sirius' "excursions" with her. To his shock, it was greatly detailed and even though slightly curious, Remus withheld the urge to read Sirius' romantic innuendos. The entries continued this way until mid August where there appeared to be a breakup. The rest of the month was uneventful, save for a visit to Diagon Alley and a prank Padfoot and Prongs had pulled on a muggle shopkeeper (this was in a way to get back at the woman from Notting Hill). Sirius voiced his happiness much more with Potters in his entries now and admitted to calling Mrs. Potter mum. If you can believe it, this was a big step for Sirius. Remus' interest fell to an entry dated September the 1st...

**September 1st, 6th year:**  
_We left York last night for London (I hate that ruddy Knight Bus, I've been banged blue), as it's quite a ways north and made it to Kings Cross at ten. It's the earliest I've ever been to the train (Regulus liked to dawdle a lot, made me late every time, purposely I think)._ N/A: Regulus is Sirius' brother for those of you who don't remember

_The Potters insisted on seeing us off (that meant waiting with them for another hour, and I suppose that was alright, it just meant no mischief, which was quite hard to refrain from). So James busied himself with looking through my things, I had the odd suspicion he was searching for his birthday present, he'll be sixteen in a week._

_He came to this old thing and laughed about how we got it. He'd thought I'd thrown it away and was shocked that I was really using it. I thought that might set him to curiosity and attempt to read it, but instead he showed me something really wicked. He said it was much easier than writing and highly entertaining to go back to. So, we tinkered with the diary a bit and now I feel it up to my standards. Just watch, this was September 1st of my 6th year, welcome to the eighties world...  
_  
N_/A: Well I've done the math and it seems to me, that the Marauders were in school from about the late 70s to the early 80s, and estimating Harry was born in the late 80s, '87 or '88 is my guess, the Marauders sixth year might take place in '81. This is all just a guess. Tell me what you think. My parents were children of the 70s and I just can't think of beautiful old Sirius as someone from that era. Ya, well maybe Britain's different. I'm really way too technical huh? _

Remus felt a familiar tug behind his navel, his world began to twist and contort as he was jettisoned twenty year back into the memory of Sirius' 6th year. His journey stopped with a hazy end out side of the Hogwarts Express.

Parents huddled teary eyed over their children wishing last goodbyes, the clatter and clank of cages and baggage was to be heard over the growing chatter that engulfed the platform. It was all so familiar to Remus. He could smell the engine exhaust and feel warm morning breeze and that magic that was Hogwarts filled his every cell.

"I 'ave it all planned Moony, dates and everything. We just need Sirius and I'll..." the voice drifted by, sparking Remus' attention. James! That was James, and he was talking to Moony, himself. Remus craned his neck looking for the two. His eyes caught the back of a tall boy with untidy brown hair, who was now boarding the train. To his side slumped Moony, sandy blonde hair slightly disheveled, but nothing in comparison to James.

_N/A: So it's not confusing, I'm going to call the young Remus, Moony, and the older Remus, Remus. Not too hard I hope. _

Remus started to sprint, intent on catching up with the boys. His body flowed through countless witches and wizards, who seemed not to notice his existence. James and Moony were now inside the train, he didn't want to miss them. Where was Sirius, after all, this was his memory. Remus' question was quickly answered as a voice from behind called, "James, Remus, hold up!"

The body of sixteen year-old Sirius Black whizzed through Remus and gallivanted up the stairs into the train. Remus felt himself follow and was led into one of the front cars, where James and Moony sat discussing intently over a piece of parchment. James' face alighted when Remus entered (for a moment he feared James could see him, but discovered it was Sirius he was greeting).

"Been waiting for you mate," said James, "I've just been telling Moony about our plans."

"Excellent!" said Sirius briskly, taking a seat next to James. "You know we start tonight don't you Remus?"

"I've heard so," sighed Moony looking to James' piece of parchment with an expression of skepticism. "I just... I mean I'm not sure we can pull this off in time, on such short notice s'all... I want to do it though," he put in quickly, eyeing Sirius' countenance.

"Of course we can do it tonight!" chimed James, "We want to start off with a bang! Don't we?"

"We've spent most the summer planning this Moony, we've looked at everything from every angle, what could go wrong?"

"Evans could kill Prongs that's what could go wrong and I'd lose my chance of ever going out with Mackenzie McGavott," Moony muttered.

"If all goes well it won't even affect them and if it does... well there are always other girls," Sirius said passively, waving the matter away with his hand.

"Easy for you to say Padfoot," grumbled Moony.

"Come now lads, lets have joy and cheer. Padfoot's right nothing will go wrong and as for Evans killing me, well I always liked a girl with a fiery spirit," James laughed to himself. "So it's settled then, tonight in the Great Hall." Sirius nodded and Moony was forced to agreement.

"Where's Peter?" asked James abruptly, the trains whistle had just sounded announcing the time and the trains departure.

Moony looked to his watch. "It's eleven now, I don't know where he could be?"

"He probably got lost in one of the other cars," said Sirius hopefully, peering around the car door.

"You sound very happy about that," commented Moony.

"Oh no, I didn't figure we were that lucky," smiled Sirius kiddingly.

"Hmm, well he's around here somewhere," shrugged James.

The minutes began to tick slowly by. Moony got out a book, James kept trying to hex a beetle on the floor, and Sirius took to gazing dreamily out the window, a bored lofty expression on his face. Five minutes turned to ten and ten to twenty and now almost an hour had lapsed.

"You know I am starting to wonder where old Wormtail's gotten off to. Did they leave him on the platform?" Sirius asked suddenly. His words brought James out his daze and Moony from his reading. "I mean..."

Laughter began to ring from outside the compartment door, in the corridors, followed by a loud bumping and thumping and a low moaning. Sirius slid open the door to find Wormtail sprung out on the floor, his arms jinxed flat to his sides. The Marauders peeped their heads down the corridor to see the slender glowering figure of Bellatrix Black.

"_Cousins_," Sirius shook his head disapprovingly.

"That'll teach you to come sniffing into our car you nasty little rat!" Bellatrix cackled. Curls of rich brown framed her face with a grace, and deep black eyes glimmered menacingly, accented by high arching elegant brows. In her long white fingers she twirled her wand, daring Wormtail to oppose.

Wormtail looked wildly about the corridors hoping to find an ally, some sort of defense. Sirius who was some two cars back grabbed Wormtail by his shirt collar and tugged him swiftly into the Marauder's compartment.

"Sirius!" cried Peter joyfully, disengaging himself from Padfoot's grasp. "There you are."

"Here _I_ am? Where were _you_?" Sirius exclaimed, quite shaken.

"B-bl- Black!" Wormtail shuddered, "Bella... B-Bella..."

"Bellatrix," said Sirius flatly, hands on his hips. He looked to Peter then remembered the growing group of Slytherins down the hall. He peeped warily out the compartment to find Bellatrix's face but inches from his. It caused him to jump back.

"Don't tell me I scare you too," she smiled, sugary sweet, honey tones in her voice.

Sirius obviously didn't want conversation with his cousin so slammed the door in her face. James sealed the door magically shut, and jumped to Peter's side, now a crumpled mess on the floor.

"I don't know what happened!" he chattered, "I was just looking for you guys, checking all the cars and she... she..." Peter couldn't get the words out taken by another round of the shakes.

"Jinxed you did she?" Sirius finished for him. "You were gone almost an hour Wormtail, don't tell me you were in the Slytherin car all that time."

"Well I was sort of hostage," Peter said quietly.

"Hostage?" asked James wrinkling his nose. "Yes, well they took to interrogating." Mumbled Peter, recovering slightly. He was able to pull himself to the seat.

"Interrogating? You? About what Wormtail?" Sirius asked, eyebrows raised.

"Y-you," Peter gulped again, avoiding Sirius' eyes. He knew they were bearing down on him.

"What would..." Sirius fell to a whisper. "Me, about what Peter?" Sirius checked him boldly, his head cocked back high and commanding.

Peter shrunk away. "Just about your family," Peter said simply, shrinking down in his seat.

Sirius bit his lip, furrowing his eyebrows. "Anything about my father?" This time Sirius' voice was shaky.

"Y-yes," Peter squeaked, now more timid than ever.

"What'd you tell them?"

"N-not much, there's nothing to tell really. You never talk about him, your dad."

Sirius let loose a sigh of relief. "Bella was just getting to you Wormtail, she knows everything about my family, why should she ask."

Peter looked nervously from side to side, suddenly on edge. "She um... she wanted to know things too about... Moony."

James and Sirius jumped to their feet nearly ringing Peter by his throat. "I'll skin you alive Wormtail if you told them anything about Remus you hear!" threatened James, gripping Peter by his shirt collar.

Peter shook his head in a fury. "N-never! I just..."

"You just never of told them anything I hope," said Sirius quietly, knuckles clenched at his sides, white faced.

"I-I told them to shut their filthy mouths about Remus!" Peter cried (Remus had the feeling this hadn't been the truth at all, that Peter had pacified his friends with that lie, as to keep his nose clean).

James let loose his grip, letting Wormtail fall softly back to his seat. Peter looked to his friends longing for approval. James and Sirius breathed freely, relief flooding them.

"Well I hope next time you just stick with us Wormtail," Moony said finally. "It'd sure get you out of a lot of trouble. Sirius can't always come to your rescue." Peter nodded again, looking to his feet, completely abashed.

"You have a wand Peter, you should learn to use it," said James irritably, he'd had quite enough of Wormtail and began to wish that he'd stayed in the Slytherin car.

The rest of the journey was in silence. Sirius, who was now rather cranky after the mention of his father, went back to his lonely daydream, and James and Moony sat going over their plan for the evening. Peter appeared to be listening intently, but had a glassy eyed look that gave Remus the assumption that his thoughts were probably elsewhere. He bit his nails mindlessly, mumbling to himself on occasion. In regular circumstances Sirius would have whacked Peter on the back of his head and told him it was a filthy habit, but nothing seemed to faze him now.

Remus had just begun to settle into this memory when he was tugged forward again in a whirlwind of color, this time landing in a stairwell outside the Great Hall. Sirius was alone and the growing chatter from the doors ahead proved that the start of term feast had already begun.

"Black!" called a voice. Sirius whirled around, his eyes meeting those of a pretty blonde sixth year girl. Remus recalled her as Blaire Jennings, seeker for the Ravenclaw house Quidditch team.

"All right Jennings?" he smirked as she descended down to meet him, her face drawn in a mischievous grin.

Blaire bat her eyelashes and blushed deeply. "Oh," she giggled, "Just fine, and you?"

"As good as I'll ever be," Sirius shrugged. She was nearing him, her eyes hazy and lost. She was very close now.

"That's _very_ good then," she said silkily, tousling his hair with her fingers. Sirius bit his lip, but didn't budge. Blaire slid her arms around his neck, looking temptingly into his eyes.

Remus felt unusually out of place, as if this were a great intrusion on Sirius, but to his luck, the moment of unease passed swiftly.

"Maybe later," said Sirius, pushing her off gently.

Blaire looked extremely put out, but smiled sweetly up at him. "Then I'll be waiting." She raised an eyebrow and left Sirius in the stairwell, heading to the Great Hall.

Sirius had been straining a smile and now he let his cheeks rest, frowning slightly. "You'll be waiting forever then," he said quietly when Blaire was gone.

Though Blaire Jennings was quite good looking, Remus knew she was not up Sirius' alley. Like it's been mentioned before, Sirius had his pick of the lot and he was very selective. You had better be a beauty with brains for Sirius or he wouldn't even think twice about you. Blaire was a beauty with pudding for brains and a reputation for toying around. Sirius wouldn't dare dirty his feet in her water.

He looked around, it was almost time. James had said the signal would be an obvious one, half the school running like mad out of the Great Hall. All Sirius had to do now was wait. Remus too felt an anxious excitement, any moment he knew havoc would be wreaked. Inside the Great Hall he knew he, young Moony was eyeing Miss McGavott with a doleful, longing look wondering if she'd hate him for the rest of his life and that James was starting to understand Moony's concern about his death and Lily.

Remus' thoughts were disrupted by a tap on his shoulder. How could that be? This was Sirius' memory no one could touch him, nor see him.

"Remus, Remus dear." The voice was so distant, but it burst into view as Molly Weasley and the visions of Sirius' diary vanished. There he was again in Buckbeak's loft gazing into concerned motherly eyes.

"Goodness me you look peaky," she said, feeling his forehead. "You best have something to eat. Arthur insisted on muggle take out, Chinese actually, not bad stuff. Come have a bite with us will you."

It took Remus a moment to gather his thoughts and respond. "Yes. Molly, yes all right," he tucked Sirius' diary in his pocket and dusted off the hem off his robes.

He was so disappointed, his hunger at it's greatest minimum, he had so counted on seeing the results of the Marauders prank. He calmed himself and put his intrigue to rest, he could come back to it later. Remus followed Molly down the stairs, feeling a guilty pang. Sirius did always like Chinese.

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_N/A: Funky ending huh? It was my brothers suggestion, he's weird. More to come, more to come. I'm lazy so I ended this chapter that way. Thanx all for your reviews, I really appreciate them. Sharron-thanx for being a loyal reviewer. _


	7. Start of Term Feast

Disclaimer: Rowling owns all the rights to anything that you recognize in this little blurb of a story (why do I call it a blurb? Whatever).

_N/A: Oh and people I need some feedback on what you think of the Marauders existing during the eighties era. Does that work, does that wreak mullets and the grunge look, or should it be a psychedelic fun house, just wondering. I know you cringe at the thought of both so I'll just write this in a timeless manner. Meaning I'll avoid sayings like "groovy" and "gag me with a spoon", Malibu Barbie talk n'stuff. Heck this is Britain.  
_  
Now quite full and contented after his meal with the Weasleys, Remus headed up to Buckbeak's loft once more to finish his reading. He came to the room to find the beast in a heavy doze, snoring slightly. Remus locked the door (he wished for no disturbances this time) and situated himself on the floor with Sirius' strewn possessions. He entered the diary's password and flipped back to September the 1st's entry. Drawing himself close to the page, Remus was again engulfed in the past. He was thrown back into the stairwell outside the Great Hall, where he resumed Sirius' memory:

The moment had come. "Holy—" the acclamation was never heard because it was drowned out by a great many screaming voices. The commotion of running feet and cries issued from the Great Hall and it's doors were flung open as was a cherry tart that would nearly have hit Sirius had he not ducked in time. The room was so busy with excitement Remus was barely able to make out himself and James at the back of the Hall.

It now became clear what the prank had been. Golden plates jettisoned food at their consumers and goblets spewed liquid at their drinkers. Most the school was now drenched in pumpkin juice and pummeled by their dinner. Though students shouted hexes and attempted to subdue or stupefy their dinner plates, the table settings were relentless, sputtering their contents at every form of life. This brought a round of confusion, for at first Gary Maison, a Hufflepuff, had thought Lionel Galloway had thrown the vanilla pudding at him and responded in a flask of pumpkin juice. This had started an edible row at the Hufflepuff table and now the two fights were unrecognizable, whether they be plate vs. student, or Miason vs. Galloway. The row spread on and soon every table was engaged in the school's largest food fight of the century. It didn't help though, that the plates kept refilling themselves or that now they seemed satisfied to give the students more ammo.

It was the wildest moment Remus had ever seen at the school. Even stiff old Welton Haffiford took to altering Tallulah Stover's blonde coif to a staggering neon green with the mint jelly. Remus looked to the staff table, where all appeared in a state of shock. All, save for Dumbledore, who wore a mild, humorous expression, watching the fight as if it were merely an enlightening BBC special.

"_Shepard's pie, rack of lamb, oy! Potty boy want some ham_?" That ever high pitched, irksome voice of Peeves resonated against the stone walls of the Hall. Peeves sang this little jingle as he plastered James with mashed potatoes. Prongs really didn't seem to mind, and gave Peeves the thumbs- ups.

"Knew I could count on you old chap!" James called after the poltergeist. The tiny ghoulish man bowed gratefully to Prongs and continued his devious work.

A group of six year Ravenclaws with some sense ran form the Great Hall and almost keeled over Sirius in their stampede. Until that moment, he had been watching peacefully from his nook against the staircase, admiring the fruits of his labor.

"Watch it Black!" shrieked a frosting dabbled Stella Sinistra. She had bumped right into Sirius, nearly knocking him to the floor. She was quite embarrassed and it shown in her pretty rouging cheeks. "Why you look awfully sweet today," chuckled Sirius, eyeing her head to foot. He was making her uncomfortable and her fellow Ravenclaws were beginning to stare.

"You look absolutely delectable in icing," he smirked cockily, swiping a tuft of frosting from her robes. He brought it to his mouth as if he planned to devour it, when Stella pushed him forcefully back, sporting a disgusted countenance.

"And you look absolutely wretched in audacity! I don't want your sap Black! (_N/A: sap, term_ _for sweet talk_) It's appropriate though isn't it? He just needs more names for his little Black book doesn't he?" Stella shoved him again and left him standing there with his usual arrogant grin. He shrugged his shoulders.

Though her actions appeared not to affect Sirius at all, Remus knew Padfoot was mulling over the Ravenclaws words. His actions had been immature and uncalled for. Stella really wasn't the kind of girl to fall for flattery. On the other end of the Great Hall James was having women troubles too...

"I didn't mean it Evans, I was aiming for Longbottom!" James tried to reason with the stunning red head, wet with butterbeer.

"Sure you were!" she glared, "You have 'the world's best aim' don't you, 'Mr. Cocky just hopped off a broom'! I'm not buying that rubbish, here take my love!" With those words, Lily Evans hit "her love" with an oozy fudge like molasses cake that stuck to James quite nicely.

"Ha! That goes with your potatoes," she laughed, but was hit with the impact of more pumpkin juice. Lily shrieked fiercely and made for James' throat, who held her back easily.

"Watch it Lils, might pop a blood vessel."

"Don't call me Lils!" she cried between clenched teeth, making clawing motions towards James' face. He avoided her nails and laughed to himself. This only made Lily madder.

"I could hex you Evans, you know," James sighed lazily.

"I could kill you, you know!" Lily seethed; her nails had almost reached James this time.

"Oh murder, murder!" Prongs yelled pathetically. "Evans is killing me!" He said this in a very fanciful way that made Lily cringe.

"Oh what a big mouth you have!" she spat.

"All the better to kiss you with my dear," winked James. He moved close to her in a mock kiss, when she detached herself from him, shrieking in horror at the sight of his falsely puckered lips. She squealed in frustration and he laughed wildly.

"Oh I could die Evans!"

"Oh bully for you, I'll refer to St. Mungo's before that glorious hour comes!" She stormed away, a sausage link sticking to her robes. James couldn't help but smile and Remus couldn't help but notice.

All too soon the fun was put to an end. McGonagal grabbed Welton Haffiford by his robes and stopped him from hitting some first year Slytherins with a kidney pie, and Professor Vicar of the potions department lunged for Peeves, which really was quite useless. The teachers had finally decided to restore order. With a swish of his wand, Dumbledore subdued the plates and cutlery and motioned for silence.

"This was an appalling display of Hogwart's students I must say," said Dumbledore quietly, but he was heard by all, he had won their attention. "And we will delve for the culprits no doubt, but it is start of term and it's understandable that some of us have not grown out of our summer squirreliness." He looked to James as he said this.

"So no punishments will be distributed for tonight," Remus took notice to McGonagal who seemed very displeased at the headmaster's comment. "But you will be warned that anymore behavior of this kind will not be left unnoticed. I bid you goodnight and a hot shower, no doubt you all need it." There was a sparkle in his eyes as he smiled and dismissed each table.

Moony, who had been hiding under a table comforting Mackenzie McGavott, sprang to action to perform his perfect duties. "First years this way, follow me!" he called leading a bewildered group of youngsters out the hall.

James caught sight of Padfoot watching from the double doors and dodged the crowd to meet him, never minding the first years he squished.

"Not exactly as planned Prongs but productive," said Sirius, he was wearing that confident grin as he leaned against the doors.

"Yes, well too bad you couldn't join us. Want to keep that hair beautiful don't we?" teased James.

"One of us has to be a respectable figure," shrugged Sirius. The boys were now making their way swiftly up the stairs, hoping to blend into the growing crowd, but they were not so easily dismissed.

"Potter, Black!" rang a crisp voice. It was McGonagal, and she by no means looked pleased at all. "My office please." She motioned for the boys to follow her. Faking looks of surprise and innocence, Padfoot and Prongs swaggered down the stairs.

"You strut like a monkey," James elbowed Sirius, knowing full well his gait was highly superior.

"Oh of course." Laughed Sirius.

Remus was caught in another wind and found himself in the warmth of McGonagal's office, she must have taken to a more Spartan look then, he thought. Plain, but comfortable looking chairs sat before her desk and she motioned for James and Sirius to sit down.

"Wait Mr. Potter, I can't have you ruining my upholstery with that mess, here. _Scourgefy_!" McGonagal cleared away the food covering James.

"Now, though I may not be able to prove it..." she said tersely, "I believe you two are responsible for tonight's scene."

"Why Professor, I'm appalled that you think we—, goodness, why us? You know we'd never—" James began in false surprise.

"This is no time for dramatics Potter, I'm not falling for it besides. I for one would like to question you on your whereabouts at supper."

"But professor I was there—"

"But not before the Sorting, Potter."

James fell silent, he had been down in the kitchens at that time, but would never admit it.

"I had to take a trip to the little boys room, though I'd rather not divulge any information concerning my doings during that time," he said cheekily.

McGonagal raised her eyebrows. "Well, if you insist on being difficult," she sniffed and turned to Sirius. "And you Mr. Black were nowhere to be seen at all, until after that dreadful display." She narrowed her brows and her eyes were near slits.

"I was having well... masculine difficulties if you don't mind professor."

"What kind of masculine difficulties?" she snapped.

"Well, I'd rather not say."

"Would you? Come now boy, I am tired of playing cat and mouse, where were you during the feast?"

"Elsewhere," sighed Sirius.

"Well if this is the best I can get out of you..." she huffed but couldn't seem to finish her thought. She rose and turned from them.

"I want to warn you... that any mischief, any rule breaking will not be tolerated, do you understand me, Black, Potter?"

"Completely," smiled James sweetly. McGonagal let loose an exasperated sigh,

"Off you go then... and boys I hope you know I am keeping your parent's addresses close at hand, lest I have the need to contact them. Yes, and that means you too Mr. Black. If your parents' wrath is the only thing that can keep you in line, then I will be forced to that alternative. All right, off with you."

James and Sirius jumped from there seats and nearly ran out the door.

"Close don't you think?" Sirius asked wiping his brow. James seemed now more animated than ever, proud of his victory in the Great Hall and escape of McGonagal.

"Yes, I'm glad we slipped past that one. I can just imagine the letter mum would have sent me, _Wasting food that way, why there are starving children in China_," James mimicked his mothers voice.

"Oh! Hey Prongs what happened with Evans, I saw she was making a sort of scene."

James looked appalled, "Evans make a scene? Oh... I didn't know you saw that."

"Not much luck with the ladies I assume."

The boys had reached the portrait of the fat lady. "Why you're looking lovely this evening madam, shed a few pounds?" Sirius asked the painting.

The fat lady raised one brow rather slyly. "Forgot the password again have you Black?" she asked in dry tones.

"You know you really are stunning," he continued hopefully.

"If this weren't the hundredth time, perhaps I'd fall for it, but it's not so... No password NO entrance!" she said regally.

James nudged Sirius to the side. "I'm sorry my dear, Sirius just has a habit of trying to seduce every painting he meets, _Scourgefy_!"

The fat lady bid them entrance and sighed, "Appropriate password I think for tonight really, Vi told me all about that scene."

The past vanished into present and Remus sat looking at the fresh ink scrolling across the diary as he read...

_Some way to start the school year huh? Ya well, things didn't go exactly as we'd expected. The plan had been this: James was supposed to go down to the kitchen and charm the plates to rebellion, that all went well, those house elves will give you anything, poor unsuspecting little buggers. The plates were supposed to attack after the first course, I mean why starve half the school before some fun, I for one didn't think it ethical. So the action was supposed to begin at Snivellus' seat at the Slytherin table (this was James' idea), that all went well too. But I think the trouble began with Evans. See, James and Remus' plan had been to suggest to McGavott and Evans to leave the Great Hall before the commotion started, as to spare them from a doom. Of course it never would have worked, I could have told them that, Evans would never listen to James, much less leave the Hall with him, he obviously wasn't thinking. My job was to stand watch, wand at the ready if anything got really nasty (I was there for James' sake I think actually). I was supposed to sneak Peeves in at the appropriate moment, after the girls had left the Hall. Unfortunately that damn ghoul was nowhere in sight and there appeared no appropriate moment. Well he got in on his own and wreaked his personal little hell about. After this incident I've learned never to deal with Peeves again, although James thinks he's "brilliant"._

_So that's how it went. I can't believe that Sinistra, what's her beef? Girls like that are way too touchy. Ha, what do I care she's a snotty little Ravenclaw anyway. As for Jennings she's still hung up on that little snog session we had last year at the end of term. I really didn't mean anything by it. She probably made it up to be more than it was in her head over the summer, and can't wash away her sugary sweet feelings for me. Gag! What's with girls and "relationships", oh and the worst is "closure". They just really need to know why the heck I dumped them. Well isn't it obvious? They're not what I want or there's someone else, is it that hard? The feminine brain is more complex I know that already, try figuring out Evans. I just think James makes a ninny of himself too much for her, she's just one girl. I know I'm a bit dog headed in this instance, but it's my nature I guess. What've I done to Sinistra though? She treats me like I'm contaminated or something. I just don't understand it. _

_Well it was close with McGonagal this evening. She's bloody unfair, blames James and me, when she knows Remus and Peter had just as much to with it as we did. She must have a soft spot for Perfects and wimps. Peter left the Hall early, I don't think he could stand to watch his precious morsels go to waste, he loves his pies. He was probably hogging down in the kitchens as Wormtail. _

_Good night, I'm beat._

N/A: Some way to start the school year indeed. A definite mixture of love affairs, but I hope to get to some Sirius vs. Snivellus conflicts soon. Does Sirius seem like a jerk? I just wanted him a bit rowdy and somewhat looser than James. I want James as the more moral figure who teaches Sirius some manners. Sirius is still the good guy, but he's not grown up yet so he's learning now. Just clearing things up. REVIEW!


	8. Eau de Cologne

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, merci beacoup. _

_N/A: I've decided that my chapters are too short. They need more meat. Thank you all for your reviews and Sharron I'm glad you feel special now. But why aren't my friends reviewing? You all are evil little betrayers you hear, EVIL! And fear not, no Hogwarts with mullets, that was just for shock reaction. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it. Yay! I'm so happy my b-day's in exactly a month. Sorry, just thought I'd share that. Not that I'm expecting birthday wishes from you all or anything, but that'd be nice. Oh and whoever asked, yes "God save the Queen!", total Sex Pistols inspiration._

**September 2nd, 6th year:**

T_his was one hell of a day too. James is on his way to skunkdum and I reek like a bloody Mary on a Sunday afternoon. It's James' fault really. He got the idea that eau de cologne would work him wonders. It worked him wonders all right. Just watch, it was God awful…_

It was early morning in the Marauders dorm as the boys readied themselves for the day. In the midst of flailing pant legs and arms pulling on sweaters, the boys talked of James' favorite subject (besides quidditch), Lily Evans.

"I just know it, Padfoot, it's just bound to happen this year. I mean it's only a matter of time, don't you think?"

Sirius shook his head. "You want my honest opinion mate?"

James thought and a moment. "Um… no." he decided.

"Aw c'mon Prongs, give it up on Evans. You're beating yourself up over this! Some girls will like you, others won't, it's just the way it goes," Sirius offered.

James frowned. "I don't think so. Evans was made for me, I know it, and… I could just about bet she's in love with me." James smirked at Sirius' expression of doubt. "I'll prove it!" he persisted.

"Power to you," Sirius clapped James on the back. "Now don't look all dejected like that. I'm sure Evans is a real… _doll_."

Sirius winced inwardly. He hardly thought Lily a doll, he envisioned her as more a dragon lady. "I just think you deserve someone better, someone that doesn't hate you."

James looked greatly disappointed and it gave Sirius the need to further his explanation.

"Prongs, you would have the perfect woman with Evans' body and Abbots personality. Stunning though she may be, Evans'd bite your head off in an instant. I'd really hate to be on the receiving end of one of her insults. That girl breathes fire!"

"She's got a real gentle disposition, Evans does, when you get to know her," commented Moony, tightening his belt.

Sirius who was half clad, jumped atop his bed and groaned, "Don't tell me you like her too!" he cried, pulling at his hair.

"Of course not," frowned Moony, "She's a prefect."

"Oh she's perfect all right," sighed James dreamily.

Moony ignored him. "She's not like you think Padfoot, only to James."

"I'm the lucky one aren't I?" grumbled Prongs, detaching himself from his dreamy trance.

"A gentle disposition, when you get to know her? How well do you know her Remus?" Sirius teased.

"Not much more than you do. I see her at prefect meetings n' things. She's much better there, behaves herself."

"_Private_ Prefect meetings," winked Sirius.

"Oh come off it Padfoot! Evans is James' infatuation, not mine."

"Sure seem to know a lot about her don't you?"

Moony waved Sirius' comment away. "If James didn't make such a ninny of himself around her, maybe she wouldn't be so… _harsh_."

"A _ninny_?" cried James, appalled, hands on his hips.

"You're just not very tactful around her," Moony said wisely.

"_Tactful_?"

"Damn is there an echo in here James? Just watch it around Evans, she's never seen your good side before." There was a period of silence where James mulled over Moony's words. Sirius felt the need to break the silence.

"What time's it Moony?"

"Twenty after," he sighed, looking to his wristwatch. "It's getting late. I have to be in McGonagall's office before eight and Mackenzie-" he stopped short, his face turning a hint pink.

"McGavott, you asked her out then?" asked Peter excitedly, he was finally awake enough to converse.

"Kind of," muttered Moony, he was clearly blushing now. "I'm going to be her unofficial astronomy tutor from here on out. Apparently her mother wasn't pleased with her O.W.L. results."

Sirius' face alighted. "Well it sounds like a start Moony. Tell us if you kiss her all right?"

Remus narrowed his eyebrows, "Does everything have to be that way with you Sirius? Maybe I'm interested in getting to know her first."

Sirius seemed shocked at the idea. "Get to know her? Why don't you just start a peaceful little study group and we can all join hands and sing."

"Well it's my choice if I want to―" Moony began to protest.

"I'm only joking mate. You're a much better man than I am Remus, I must say," Sirius said, his expression lightening.

Moony looked at his watch again, "Well I'll see you all at breakfast. Rumor's that we have potions first, with Ravenclaw, I think. Later mates."

Remus tucked his wand behind his ear and departed the dormitory. Peter dashed after him, caroling for Moony to wait up.

"Potions with Ravenclaw, well that's bully," grumbled Sirius as he fastened his tie, it was one of his morning hassles, and Blair Jennings always had a habit of undoing it sometime in the day.

James was examining himself in the mirror rumpling his hair as usual. "But I thought you were good potions."

"Yeah well that doesn't mean I like it… plus with all those rotten Ravenclaws."

James turned from his reflection to face Sirius. "What's wrong with them, they've never been bad, it's those Slytherins they're the prob―"

"The problem is Sinistra," Sirius said jerkily.

"Stella Sinistra? The cute one?"

"Yeah, shut up," Sirius said this quickly, hoping the subject would pass.

"Oh God, you really like her don't you Sirius?" said James smiling wryly.

Sirius didn't say anything and became exceedingly transfixed with tying his shoe.

"Sirius?" said James in a scolding tone, "Sirius you naughty lad, keeping things from ol' Prongs."

"I don't believe in false hope James. Why mention it if she won't even go with me?"

"No way! A girl that won't yield for you, impossible!"

"Oh can it Potter. I'm starved." Sirius turned from James, trying to conceal a forming smile.

They were almost out the door when James remembered something. "Oh wait!" he cried, dashing back to his bedside.

"Oh wait, what? I'm starving Prongs!"

"Just a minute, just a minute," stalled James, rummaging through his trunk. He seemed to have found his article of desire, pulling a small clear bottle from a roll of socks and displaying it proudly to Sirius. "Ah ha!" he beamed.

"What is it?" frowned Sirius.

"This… is the essence of victory, _eau de cologne_! Got it on holiday in France, the finest. Just one sprits and you'll have a long line of females trailing after you." James "spritsed" himself several times in a ceremonial manner, then tossed the bottle to Sirius.

"Here, try it!"

Sirius examined the bottle warily and sniffed the nozzle. He wrinkled his nose repulsively and held the bottle back, at arms length, handing it to James.

"That's awful!" he gagged.

"It only smells that way in the bottle, leaves a nice orange cinnamon scent afterwards. Besides, the results are extraordinary!"

"I don't need that rubbish! It'll turn girls off before it turns them on."

"C'mon, try it with me, just for a day," James pleaded.

"We'll have the whole school running from us Prongs. I'd get that stuff off if I were you."

"Don't be ridiculous," laughed James passively. "I paid good money for this. I know what I'm doing."

"Your choice," shrugged Sirius. "C'mon, it's getting late."

"Sure," said James, making as if he were putting the cologne away.

He quickly jumped forward and sprayed Sirius sneakily in the back. Not seeming to notice James' move, Sirius proceeded out the door. James tucked the eau de cologne in his pocket and followed quickly after him.

At ten after eight, Padfoot and Prongs arrived in the Great Hall for breakfast. They promptly situated themselves next to Moony and began discussing new schedules and arrangements.

"Yeh, I was right. Potions with Ravenclaw and then Care of Magical Creatures, that's with Hufflepuff and… Charms with… well, not all our dreams can come true, Slytherin, but that's not a bad first day," said Moony, folding his schedule into his pocket and attacking a piece of toast.

James was examining his schedule with a look of confusion. "Is Evans taking Magical Creatures, Remus?"

Moony looked up with the crust in his mouth. "Don' know."

James turned to Sirius, who was cramming his mouth with muffin. James decided not to disturb him as it would be a messy business asking him a question.

"Why?" Moony inquired.

"Oh just trying my luck, maybe I'll be able to patch things up with her."

Moony snorted in laughter, "It'll certainly take a stroke of luck for that."

"Well I have a solution," said James quietly, a mischievous grin creeping on his face.

"Do you?" asked Moony, greatly surprised.

"Oda-lone!" garbled Sirius his mouth overflowing with muffin.

Moony leaned in to catch Sirius better. "Come again?"

Sirius gulped heartily, swallowing his immense bite. "_Eau de cologne_," he said simply.

Sirius' explanation was disrupted be McGonagall, who had come in a swift stride to James' side.

"May I have a word Mr. Potter?" she asked. "A private one? Yes, just you Potter, well Black can come too… I suppose he'll need to know too."

James looked to Sirius in genuine surprise, what had they done? This time they were surely innocent. The boys slid warily from their seats and followed McGonagall to the corridor outside the Great Hall.

"As you know Potter, Roberts, last year's quidditch captain has moved on, and now the duty resides with me to choose a new one…" She stalled for a long moment, letting her words sink in. James waited intensely.

Roberts had left, it was either Potter or Black this time. Eyeing the boys anxious faces,

McGonagall continued. "And I have decided…"

Sirius was bursting inside, _spit it out woman!_

"I have decided that Potter will be the new Gryffindor quidditch captain," she said this hastily, frowning, but James' broad grin set her countenance to a small smile. "That's _if_ you behave yourself Potter, if you behave yourself."

"Yes professor, of course professor," James beamed.

"I mean it Potter. Don't think I won't suspend your position if I catch you in any mischief. I'm relying on you to keep that Cup in my office boy… don't ruin this one opportunity, and you too Black. I'd like to think you've matured, don't prove me wrong."

"Can't we have just a little slack professor?" pleaded Sirius sweetly. His bottom lip trembled slightly, making as if he were going to cry, and his eyes became wide and innocent, like a begging puppy's. He looked at her all the more intently, as if daring her to feel sorry for him. It obviously had no affect.

"Absolutely not Black! At least by sixteen years of age I'd think you could contain yourself. Studying, perhaps would be a better past time, or quidditch practice, lots of it! Black, you've never let a quaffle in yet, I want to see that kind of performance continue…"

"Whatever you like," Sirius smirked, "anything for a grand gal like you."

McGonagal stiffened. "Flattery will _not_ gain you house points Black!" she snapped, "and speaking of which, you will lose a lot more than points if you continue the year with adverse behavior."

She looked them over once more, making sure they understood properly, then sighed, "It's getting late. Potter, congratulations and Black… do use good judgment."

She whisked away, leaving the boys in the corridor.

"Seesh, don't take threats, don't make threats! Can you believe her, accusing us before the crime, it's outrageous!"

James didn't seem to share in Sirius' frustration, he was still glowing with the good news. "James Potter, Quidditch Captain, stud of the year! I can just see it Padfoot!"

"Congratulations mate. Everyone knew you were going to get it," Sirius smiled brightly, a little too brightly actually. Remus suspected a twinge of bitterness.

"I was almost positive it'd be you. I mean with all those saves."

"Yes well you got us points. You deserve it more than I do anyway," Sirius words trailed off slightly. He caught himself. "C'mon, Moony'll want to know."

Remus stood back and watched the two make their way to the Gryffindor table. He watched as Moony learned of the good news and congratulated James and as Sirius crossed his arms and looked glum when he thought no one was looking. When James or Remus would speak to him, his face would alight, then dim when they looked away. It was strange that he, Remus, had never noticed it, that Sirius had a bit of a jealous streak with James. It was clear as he watched now, how he never caught it before amazed him. The more Remus thought of it, Sirius really hid a lot, and for his friends, was a great pretender.

The scenery morphed once more, this time into a musty corridor. Remus recognized this as the way to the castle dungeons and Potions. Many students were loitering about the corridor, enjoying the last free minutes before class. The Marauders were among them, talking coolly at the foot of the stairwell.

"This stuff _is_ working Padfoot, did you see the way she looked at me?" James of course was referring to fellow sixth year and Gryffindor Alexandra Crane, who had just congratulated him on his captainship.

"Oh yes, she was just fawning over you Prongs. Drooling and the whole bit," said Sirius sarcastically. His gaze kept traveling to a group of Ravenclaws a ways down the hall, and he cocked his head to the side, as (in Remus' opinion) to give passersby a good look at his good looks.

"What _stuff_ are you talking about?" Moony asked.

"Oh we didn't tell you did we?" said Sirius, lowering his voice. "_Eau de cologne_, it's Prongs' new hopeless attempt at Evans."

"It's not hopeless! I sprayed you in fact and it looks like its working," James informed Sirius.

"You what!"

The clock chimed nine o'clock, it was time for class. The loitering few groaned and meandered down into the dungeons. Sirius gave James an especially dirty look. Indeed the cologne was working, every girl Sirius passed went foggy eyed and followed him in a trance.

The full effect of the cologne was revealed when Tallulah Stevens, who was already sweet on Sirius, fainted in front of him in potions. Professor Vicar, who was a bit of a quirky fellow anyway, cried out in exasperation, when he saw Tallulah sprung out on the floor.

"Oh Miss Stevens, how many times have I told you not to drink your potion until I have approved it!"

Once Vicar revived Tallulah with smelling salts, Sinistra was the next to fall. Numerous other girls began to swoon, some knocking over their cauldrons, others, their partners. Turmoil spread and things became all the more sour, when McGavott fainted atop Evans, and Evans who was struggling for support and balance, pulled James down with her. He had landed atop her in the most awkward of positions and she screamed and slapped his face upon realizing his stance. By the end of class the dungeon was littered with cauldron contents, flooding the floor and sizzling and bubbling student's shoes. It was a great gloppy green mess that reeked of fish oil.

Unceasingly and to the very end, Professor Vicar insisted it was the potion's pungent fumes that caused the chaos, although he failed to address the fact that only the females were affected. He informed the class that he'd be writing to Fifi Lefaux, author of _Practical Potions,_ and complain that the effects of her Swoon Subduing potion were adverse.

Class was dismissed for lunch, and James and Sirius were sure to be the first ones out. Sirius was in the lead, running down the hall.

"Hold up mate, where are you off to?" called James, finally coming to an even jog at Sirius' side.

"The nearest pit stop, to get this ruddy gunk off me! I can't believe you Prongs."

Sirius turned the corner and shoved James through the door of the boy's lavatory. It was empty save for Bobby Greed who was having a moment of vanity with the mirror. He saw Sirius and turned quite red, quickly removing himself from the lavatory, not bothering to fasten his belt. Sirius made for the sink and demanded James show him the location of the cologne.

"Just there," said James, pointing to a region on Sirius' back.

"Just where?" said Sirius in growing irritation, he clenched his teeth as his spoke, his patience mere threads.

"Just there. Here, turn around so you can see properly. It's only there," James said vaguely, not really giving Sirius the cologne's specific location.

"Just on the top then?"

"Well… its kind of spread out," James mumbled, knowing what was coming.

"You mean to tell me, it's all over don't you?" cried Sirius, his voice echoing against the bathroom walls.

"Quiet!" hissed James, "Myrtle'll hear, don't want her in here do we?"

"How do you get this crap off!" Sirius persisted, not caring who heard.

"Soap, water, the conventional way I suppose," shrugged James.

Sirius pulled off his robes and grabbed a bar of soap, rubbing it against them furiously, whilst glaring at James. "What I don't understand is why it's not working this way for you? No one's goggling at you!"

"Must have different affects on different people, I hope I don't have a tendency to attract nerds, that'd be a real pity." James was standing with his arms crossed watching humorously as Sirius worked in diligence to remove the "gunk" from his uniform.

"Don't' stand there with that stupid look on your face," smiled Sirius, finally lighting up. "There, I think that's the best I can do. It's wet now, but at least I won't smell anymore."

After lunch, Sirius deposited his robes in the dormitory, for extra precaution, incase the essence was still potent. Care of Magical Creatures was their next class, which happened to be James' personal favorite, as he could goof around as much as he pleased. Professor Snub never seemed to notice much really. Sirius used to like to call her Professor Snub n' Stuff (though not to her face of course) because of her rather disheveled dumpy look.

Snub, was a plump rosy-cheeked witch whose love for animals almost matched Hagrid's, and today she lead her class out to the edge of the forbidden forest to look at what she claimed was a "real treat". The Marauders took up the rear of the class, straggling behind. It had been their intention to slip off during class unnoticed, and head out to Hogsmeade. Moony had protested with the idea, but gave in when James said he'd buy him a butter beer and that McGavott would take his notes.

"Are we all here? Yes good, it looks like it," Snub said in musical tones. "Well then, today I have brought you here to examine a rare find, it's the remnants of one I think but…"

Professor Snub closed in on the knot of one of the forest's surrounding trees and pushed back some branches to reveal a tiny silver nest. "An _imp_ colony, or what's left of it. Come around ladies and gentlemen, I want you all to get a good look at this."

Only some Hufflepuffs and a small group of Gryffindors (Evans' clan mostly), heeded Snub, the rest of the class seemed to take the same philosophy as the Marauders when it came to Magical Creatures.

"You'll want to notice the intricate twigging… oh and see here, bluebell drops…"

Snub was animated with a childlike excitement, bouncing from one detail to the next. Since she had suggested the students take notes, Evans' hand had been scribbling furiously across her parchment, her feather quill a white blur beneath her chin. It gave Lily a kind of ethereal aura that hypnotized James' gaze.

"Stubby Snubby's at it again," whispered Sirius. "We should leave now, when she's this gung ho! She'll be on those nests for eternity."

"No, no I don't think we should go yet," said James, nearly drooling with visions of Lily.

"You promised someone a butter beer," Sirius nudged James, smiling at Moony.

"All right sure, whatever. Just give me a moment."

"You've had a moment Prongs, Evans'll be here when we get back." Sirius forced James from his goggle fest.

The Marauders started to pull away from the class, when an arm yanked Sirius back. It was Blaire Jennings, she hadn't forgotten about last night in the stairwell.

"Where are you going? Snub not intriguing enough for you. _I'll_ keep you entertained, I guarantee that Black," she giggled, pulling him into her arms. Sirius detached himself and tried to contain his tone.

"You know Blaire, you don't really choose the best times."

She went at him again. "I don't, do I? Well you'll just have to stick with me the rest of the lesson, or I'll tell Snubby where you've gotten off to." She ran a finger down his neck to his tie, which she grabbed and used to pull him back to the group. This was what he had been afraid of.

Unfortunately Sirius couldn't protest. It would have brought too much attention to him. Pushing Jennings off him would taint his image, and that was something he could make sacrifices for.

Blaire was about to speak again, when she went glassy eyed and collapsed in Sirius' arms. In shock, he let go of her. Luckily, Moony had the sense to catch her, and place Blaire gently on the floor.

"I thought you said you got that stuff off!" he hissed.

"I did, or… at least I thought I did," mumbled Sirius.

"Either way Sirius, we better get you out of here, before we have another incident like in potions," suggested James.

"This is all your fault!" Sirius whispered harshly, "I don't know why I should even listen to you?"

"I was just saying--" James began, then… "Ouch!"

James clasped his derriere in pain and whirled around to see two beady brown eyes. They belonged to a young female deer that had just emerged from the forest. She cocked her head innocently to the side and looked James over inquisitively.

"Wow, my god!" he laughed in surprise.

The deer pursued him again, nuzzling him with her nose. There came another snap and a yelp from James, two more deer had joined the flock and they too were infatuated with James.

Before he knew it he as corned by five deer that now took to nibbling at his robes and licking his face. Sirius stood back pleasantly watching, not bothering to help, and Moony watched in dumbfounded silence, not knowing, for once, what to do.

"Oh! Look deer!" cried a girl, noticing James and his predicament. Snub lost the whole class' attention, as a large group of girls stampeded to see the animals.

"Wow! They're so cute!" shrieked McGavott gleefully. "Look Lily, look they're adorable aren't they?"

Lily was being lapped affectionately by one of the deer and giggled lightly, "Only if boys were this sweet!"

James frowned at this and swore beneath his breath. Had he known that, he would simply have wooed Lily with his animal charms. Ducking another deer bite, he ran from the group of hovering females and made for the castle with great speed. The deer, realizing James was gone gallivanted after him, but stopped at the castle's entrance, realizing it was hopeless game.

"Well," smirked Sirius, "if you can't attract women, why not deer?"

Moony shook his head humorously and mused aloud, "I wonder if I'd attract wolves?"

The castle grounds blurred once again into the boys lavatory, where James and Sirius were crammed together in a stall reading the back of the eau de cologne bottle.

"_Eau de cologne_," James read quickly, "_Amazing and_ bla bla bla, okay here! _Fits every man's_ _own genre_, well found that out didn't we? _Long lasting, soaks into skin through close for_ _extra potency_! _Twelve day minimum essence_," James looked up from the bottle sheepishly, his eyes meeting Sirius'.

"Twelve day minimum Prongs?" seethed Sirius between clenched teeth.

James shrugged apologetically, "Sorry" he whined.

"_Twelve day minimum_?" said Sirius again, this time louder with growing rage. "Nice one!" he cried, "_Real_ nice!" He started hitting James with his copy of _Hogwarts, A History_ and swearing uncontrollably at him.

"My mistake," laughed James weakly, "We all make mistakes Padfoot… Ouch! Real sorry!"

Sirius subsided the whacking and glared at James. "I'm sure you are. Well I'll tell you what; I'm leaving it up to you to solve this little mess! And I warn you, if I have to hear Elise Collier's high pitched little smigid of a sneeze one more time, I'll kill you Prongs."

(The eau de cologne had affected Elise Collier, another one of Lily's friends, in a rather unusual way, causing her to sneeze every time she came near Sirius. It had really gotten to him in Charms earlier that day).

James brushed Sirius off him, "Of course, of course. No worries mate, I'll fix things."

"Good," Sirius sneered and left James in his stall with Myrtle smiling happily down at him, an evil satisfaction in her eye. James was rather shocked to see her there, but then again this was Myrtle who liked to sneak up on innocent unsuspecting boys.

"Well," she laughed, "If Black won't love you, I will Potter."

"Oh… um, thanks Myrtle."

James eased out of the stall, any moment she was going to blow, spout tears and blow, and flood the bathroom in the process.

"Um… bye." James dashed out of the lavatory.

"_You're all the same you boys_!" she shrieked after him.

>>

>>

Remus was back reading the diary:

_I suppose I have it better than James at least I can retreat to the forest when things get bad, but now he's stuck. Twelve days of this, twelve! It was pretty glum after dinner. James was in an awful mood. That's rare too. He's usually Mr. Happy Go Lucky. Eau de cologne had **reeked** everything happy out of our day. I feel bad for Prongs now actually, Evans hates him all the more (after that little spill in potions), and I've been giving him the silent treatment. I really have to keep quiet or I know I'll spout out swear words and curses if I even try to speak to him. Even the thought of him being named quidditch captain doesn't make him happy anymore. We're both glum and grumpy and I for one am pissed. There's no other way to describe things, they reek, literally._

_I know McGonagal was right to pick James, I mean he's an excellent seeker, I just… well forget it. It's only quidditch after all. I think I'm the born leader between the two of us though. I wouldn't be a regrettable captain I don't think. Let's just hope James keeps his head on this time. After today's experience, I'm doubting all his "good" judgment. _

_After we read the bottle in the lavatory, James poured its contents on Snivellus. I wonder how he's doing right now, I hope he's in hell too, it'd just settle me to think that Snivellus has it worse than us. He should always have it worse than us, the little grease ball._

* * *

**_N/A: So, how was that? REVIEWS MUCH APPRECIATED :) -Ama_**


	9. Woes and Women Troubles

Disclaimer: We all wish we were Rowling, great uh huh ya. I'm not so boo hoo.

N/A: _Sorry about the delay, vacation you know. Diane much thanx, Yellowstone was awesome. Wobble, power to all those British bands, and Sharron my ever faithful reviewer, I commend you. For all of my other reviewers thank you, thank you and I'm sorry if I didn't get your names. You are free to ask questions and I will surely answer them, to the best of my ability mind you. Lots of love and happy reading. –Ama_

_P.S. Sorry about the Prefect bit, it must've slipped when I was typing. Thanx for noticing. _

**Note: **This chapter will consist of many entries, but one main theme and or plot (whatever your preference) so don't get too overwhelmed. It should be fairly easy reading, I don't want to confuse ya'll (sorry, Wyoming talk, couldn't resist).

**September 3rd, 6th year: **

"How do you think Sinistra would react if she found a great black dog in her bed one morning?" Sirius mused over breakfast as Stella walked by.

"And how might I add, could the dog have gotten there, considering it doesn't know the Ravenclaw password or that it's utterly impossible for it to get up the staircase?" Moony asked innocently. The comment had shattered Sirius' fantasy.

"You didn't answer my question Moony. Besides, I always thought you could levitate me in through the window."

Moony frowned, pondering an answer. "I think she'd scream and kick the mutt out of her sheets."

"Oh, well what does Prongs think?" Sirius turned to James whose nose was buried in an article of the Daily Prophet labeled, "_Latest Nimbus model 1000_".

"I gotta get me one of these," he mumbled to himself.

"What does Prongs think?" Sirius repeated again, louder this time.

"Oh, yeah what Remus said, sure." James was back to reading the article in a stupor with the _Nimbus 1000_.

"She might wake up sneezing too though," Moony added thoughtfully, returning to the topic of Sinistra. "I hear she's allergic to cats, maybe it's the same for dogs." He avoided Sirius' gaze.

All night Sirius had been talking in his sleep, telling James to shut up and Elise to stop sneezing. It had been an amusing night for Moony, but a tortured one for Padfoot. Sirius had jumped when Moony had mentioned the word sneeze.

He suppressed smiling as he continued. "You'd be better off bounding up to the Ravenclaw table and begging than you'd be in her bed."

"Well I won't be going anywhere near her anytime soon, now will I?" Sirius said snappishly, giving James an angry look. James squirmed uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat, he too avoiding Sirius' eyes.

"Transfiguration today," He said, changing the subject.

"And arithmancyfor me," groaned Moony. "You two should have taken it this year, it's so boring in there now."

"Well you and McGavott can snuggle together in your little study group in the back instead," Sirius offered, flicking the crumbs from his toast at Wormtail.

Moony's face fell. "I won't be seeing her, did I tell you? She says Evans can help her just fine. I think Lily persuaded her out of it, something to do with me being friends with James I'm sure."

Moony gave James an apologetic look and sighed. "That just registered her as down right stupid in my mind. I suppose it's all for the better..." he trailed off staring absently down at his hands.

_BAM!_ James slammed his fist down on the table, causing some third years to jump. He hadn't meant to hit it so hard, but ignored the goggling faces and continued in a harsh whisper to Moony.

"You go up to McGavott right now and you demand she go out with you!" he returned to his regular tone. "That's twisted that is! What's it Evans has against me anyway?"

"It's more the fact that you exist," said a voice coolly from behind.

It was Lily. She mocked James' previous comment in reference to Snape. James winced, he was beginning to feel the sting of his own words. She didn't dally and sped away, her nose high in the air.

"_Hiss, scratch, meow_!" came from Sirius' side of the table. "She really loves you Prongs, I can tell."

"You're not funny right now," Jamesmumbled quietly. His face looked sick with humiliation, he had never counted on Lily firing his own guns against him. He held his chin in his hands and took to a glum countenance. "Great" he mumbled irritably. "Just great."

"Sorry mate," said Sirius, exchanging looks with Remus.

No more was said about Evans or McGavott the rest of breakfast, girls seemed all too much a painful topic. The new round of conversation centered on Snivellus.

"Has anyone seen him this morning?" asked James.

"I bet he's too ashamed, has ogres following him or something," grinned Sirius, visualizing the scene in his mind.

"We'll know next period won't we," said James, tearing out the article on racing brooms.

Wormtail had been silent most the time, engrossed in his meal, eating was his religion and ritual. With one great gulp he piped up, asking eagerly, "Did you really pour the whole bottle on 'im James, did you?"

"Yeah," said James carelessly.

"The whole thing Prongs? That could kill a man!"

Only Moony could be so noble as to care for the well being of Snape.

James raised an eyebrow. "Could it? No loss to me, it's only Snivelly. I don't know who'd miss him."

Wormtail resumed his position as hero worshiper to Prongs and laughed wildly at James' comment. This time both Prongs' brows ascended, it hadn't really been all that humorous. Usually he would have basked in the glow of this attention, but this time it was embarrassing.

Sirius saved him. "Let up Wormtail, you'll give yourself a hernia."

The mousy boy ceased his laughter, now feeling more stupid than before.

>>

>>

_I'd rather not relive the rest of today, as it was comparable to the yesterday. Fainting and more fainting, but no deer, thank God! Moony's going through a bit of depression. McGavott, rotten McGavott broke his poor ol' werewolf heart and now he's in pieces. He won't admit to it, but I know it's tearing him up. So many girls have just... given up on him. I really hate to see it. Maybe things will be different next time. _

_James and I have taken to eating in the kitchens, the elves aren't affected by our stench and they give you loads. Squeaky little generous things they are. I dropped our map on the way out and here comes this high voice, "Master Black sir, Hobble wishes you to take this sir, it's yours sir!" The bloke handed me back the map knowing full well its uses. Noble souls, noble! I wish I could say the same for Kreacher, any chance he could get he'd rat on me, dirty snitch he was, like Regulus. I'm not going back home though, not next summer. I'd die first. Maybe I'll turn out like that homeless mate I saw back in London, he probably has it better than me anyway. _

_Still working on a counter curse for the cologne, that's with Potions and Charms to boot. _

_>>_

_>>_

**September 4th, 6th year: **

_James finally found a solution to our eau de cologne problem, l'essence mauvais charm. It only works for a few hours and wears away rather swiftly, but at least I can walk down the halls with out knocking out any more damsels. We also discovered that l'essence mauvais (it's French, what can I say?) works only within a matter of meters, so Elise can get about one body length away from me before she starts her sneezing round. It's been hard avoiding her, as she's in all my classes. Everywhere I go I hear this annoying, "Aahh... aahh... chewww!" and I'm so damn tired of hearing Remus say "Gazuntheit(?)". He does it on purpose, I think. He gets a bit of a sick fancy watching James and me squirm. _

_As for Snivellus, well we haven't seen much of him. Apparently, yesterday after breakfast, Snape approached Narcissa (my God awful cousin) with a question and she passed out. No one could revive her (no one was really helping to tell you the truth, it amazes me how Slytherins can't care for their own) and she was sent to the hospital wing. She's been in reported "critical condition" ever since and Snivellus will be in solitary confinement until the odor wears away. Perhaps, if we're lucky, he'll be there forever. Maybe a whole bottle means an eternity of essence. Ha! When he's dead, girls will keel over his grave. _

_It must be bad if Madame Pomfrey won't even go near him. From what I hear, an odd concentration of rats have been slipping into the hospital wing. They can smell Snape from miles around and Flitwick says this is the worst rodent problem they've had in years. Good old Snivellus, stuck with his own kind, oh I beam at the thought. _

_My good man Moony has it tough, but I hope that soon to change. James and I have concocted a plan that might suit Remus' needs. Prongs needs help too. Evans really seems to hate him. Remus and I have been trying to come up with something for years, but now it's been proven that only a miracle could bring Potter and Evans together. _

_Yesterday was hell in Transfiguration, I hope it's not as bad tomorrow. You know, I think McGonagal has it in for me. Touchy brawd, really. _

_>>_

_>>_

**September 5th, 6th year: **

Remus heard the voice before he saw the memory.

"Mr. Pettigrew will you _please_ pay attention!" McGonagall's drafty classroom faded into view. She was hovering over Peter's desk, her hawk like eyes bearing down on him.

"Don't let Potter's gyrations distract you. It may be impossible for him to refrain, but I expected better of you. Now, lets see you vanish this piglet. Come now boy, I haven't all day!" McGonagall had always been rather short with Peter and it was no exception on this fine day, Friday.

Peter wiped his sweaty palms on his robes and grabbed his smudgy wand, his hand shook nervously as he uttered the spell. The piglet squealed, but nothing happened, it was still visible.

"That's incorrect Mr. Pettigrew. _Balatemporas,_ _Balatemporas_, emphasis on the syllables. Once again now please."

Peter tried once more. McGonagall flared her nostrils in irritation. "That's homework for you tonight Perrigrew! That's a fifth year incantation, this is review. You should know the material!"

Wormtail frowned as she passed him, shrinking lower in his chair.

Having no sympathy for Peter, James and Sirius continued entertaining Hufflepuff, Mundungus Fletcher, a gangly boy with stringy unwashed hair. They were causing a bit of a ruckus and they kept meeting the reprimanding eye of McGonagall, upon which they promptly ceased their antics.

McGonagall had her back to the class as she etched the day's lesson in the board.

"As I'm sure you are aware, it is a double period today (Wormtail looked surprised), half part review, the other, new material. About fifteen minutes more should be enough."

She whipped around at the sound of Mundungus' snorting laughter. He fell silent, clasping his hands over his mouth.

McGonagall narrowed her eyes. "I should see all piglets vanished and no hiding them under the table like last time Stebbins, I will know a properly vanished piglet, I'll tell you that right now."

The course of about ten minutes had passed, when McGonagall had had enough of James and Sirius.

"Potter, Black! This is not comedy hour, now I don't know what you've picked up on that muggle contraption called the _telly_, but it is not suited for this class!"

"Um professor," intervened a meek ginger haired girl. "It's called a _television_, you should take muggle studies... uh I mean... sorry professor," mumbled Bones, turning bright red at a sharp glance from McGonagall.

"I will have no more of this! Potter, come up here with Evans, and Collier in the back with Black. Yes, now for _quiet_ arrangements."

"What?" shrieked Lily, appalled at the idea of sitting anywhere near James.

"I object!" proclaimed Sirius.

McGonagall's mouth twisted."_Do you_? Well until I hear a legitimate excuse, I'm not changing my mind."

"B-but professor, I'm allergic!" squealed Elise Collier.The professorstopped dead in her tracks and surveyed Elise skeptically.

"Come now Miss Collier, Black isn't all that bad."

The class erupted with laughter.

"No professor, to um..." Elise hushed her voice and whispered in McGonagall's ear. McGonagall raised her eyes to Sirius. Her emerald orbs danced with amusement behind square-lensed spectacles as she spoke.

"Mr. Black, I must request that you refrain from applying anymore... _sniffum_ (a girl giggled in the back), whilst working with Miss Collier, as it affects her senses."

"Black affects _my_ senses, sghed Tallulah Stover to her neighbor. Evans shot her a nasty look.

Sirius nodded curtly to McGonagall and shrunk irritably down in his chair, crossing his arms in protest.

"In the meantime," she continued, "_Impervious Fumonious_. There Miss Collier, that should last you the rest of the day. Now Potter, up here." McGonagall pointed her wand to the seat next to Lily.

James glowed as he swaggered to Lily's side. She glanced at him quickly, and rolled her eyes, making a gagging imitation to her right that only McGavott could see.

In the back, Elise was rather hesitant about placing herself next to Sirius. She held her breath as she sat down and thanked God quietly, when she realized she was sneeze free. Sirius recoiled himself from her, keeping all his limbs a good arm's length away.

"I should be more afraid of you than you are of me." She whispered to him. "That sneeze of mine has gotten so bad, it even annoys myself."

Sirius said nothing and continued to glare at her.

Elise was clearly offended. "Such a social reject that I'm unworthy to talk to? I see how it is, fine then." She turned from him with the same indignation he shown her, making Sirius feel deep down, rather cruel.

He looked aimlessly at the top of her spinster, trying to recall a time he'd ever seen it down, and wondered how blind she was, behind her horn rimmed specs. Elise was the booky type that drove Sirius bonkers and he pitied himself at the boredom he was to experience sitting next to her.

He looked bitterly to the front where James kept scooting his chair closer to Lily's. She'd pretend not to notice, keeping her eyes aloft to McGonagal. Now shoulder to shoulder, James cocked his head, sticking his hair in her face. Lily pushed him away and craned her neck to look at the board. James bobbled his head around and each way he moved he blinded her view.

Finally she forced her quill and parchment before him and snapped, "If you insist on remaining a road block, _you_ take notes."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said sweetly, meeting her emerald eyes with his own hazel. Lily leaned back, avoiding the closeness. "I've never taken notes in my life," he added cockily. "Stebbins does them for me."

"Do you want me to fail?" Lily hissed, growing very impatient.

"No. You can just look at McGavott's, cant you?"

"I, well..."

James smirked at having out witted her.

"I like to take my own," she said loftily.

Liking Lily too much to molest her any longer, James sighed and picked up her pen and parchment. Lily gave him a look of horror, was he about to show her a kind gesture? He began to document the notes from the board. She watched him with the look of greatest doubt, leery of this Good Samaritan front. Eventually her nerves subsided and she let him continue, taking notice to how lovely his penmanship was for a boy. Blotchy and narrow his cursive was, but Lily thought it surprisingly good, that is until she saw what he was really writing. He had gone a few lines and actually taken notes, but now he had written this across the page:

_Because Miss Evans has been so kind to let dear Mr. Potter take notes for her, she is now forced to go out with him. If she does not, she will wake up one morning with a bottle of fire whiskey in hand and dear Mr. Potter amiss in the sheets with her. Mr. Potter does add that she can be saved from that fate right now if she agrees to go out with him. He also takes this moment to complement her on her gorgeous figure- _

After that Lily grabbed the quill from him and kicked his chair back several feet. McGonagal stopped her lecture abruptly, looking awestruck at Lily.

"Miss Evans, there is no reason for that kind of atrocious behavior!"

"There is when it's Potter," barked Lily, much out of turn. McGonagall pushed her glasses father up the bridge of her nose, disbelieving.

"Evans I... I ... five points from Gryffindor, for the both of you. Evans for manhandling Potter that way and Potter..."

"For just being Potter," uttered Lily under her breath.

"...for disrupting the class," decided McGonagal.

"Disrupting!" cried James.

"Manhandling!" echoed Lily.

"Silence the both of you! Anymore of this behavior and I will give you both detention."

"With Evans?" smiled James hopefully. McGonagall did not answer him, but turned stiffly back to the board, resuming her lecture.

James turned around, looking mournfully back at Sirius.

"Bad luck Prongs," he mouthed in sympathy.

Sirius' face contorted into a haze as the memory switched. The Great Hall was bustling with students eager for their midday meal. The Marauders were seated at their usual nitch at the Gryffindor table. Moony watched heart broken as McGavott strode by, whilst James and Sirius eyed him with humorous expressions.

"You know Moony, I think it's that time again," said James, his eyes agleam with mischief.

"For what?" jumped Moony. "James it's only half waxing, I don't know what you-"

"No, no. It's time for some help from the Marauders. Sirius, the plans."

"No need to explain really, just a good old message from the Messrs. Yes it always works doesn't it?" sighed Sirius dreamily, running his fingers through his hair (_N/A: My friend who is wonderfully imaginative claims she gets chills when I describe Sirius. She's the same girl who thinks anime characters are hot. I don't know about you, but is it possible to have a "crush" on a figment of an author's imagination? I suppose you can, but I don't think it's normal. Then again, I love Sirius, so we're all good_).

"F-for, for McGavott you mean?" blubbered Moony, stealing a glance at the girls at the other end of the table.

"Who else?" shrugged James, he could see the growing excitement in Moony's eyes.

"Very well," smiled Moony. "I'll leave it up to you three, and the meeting place?"

"The mute maid, on the fourth floor," whispered James.

Moony nodded and gathered up his books. "Right you are, see you then."

A whirl and a tug forward brought Remus to the Quidditch pitch. It was late afternoon and a hazy orange sunset blended into the purple mounts afar. What was left of the sun's light shone on Evans and McGavott, as they talked animatedly together at the edge of the field. Neither seemed to notice the great black dog crouched low near the stands, listening to their every word.

"Oh Lily!" cried Mackenzie. "I found it in my book bag after arithmancy! What would you do? I don't, I just don't know! Would you answer something like this?"

"Who did you say it was from?" asked Lily calmly, hoping to soothe the nerves of her companion.

"Marauder, the Marauders. Who could that possibly be? They said there names were... oh now let me see. M-moony, Warmtail, was it Warmtail, I just don't remember, Padfoot and uh... Prongs, yes that's right I think."

"Prongs, Prongs? Oh that's what Black calls Potter! Mackenzie don't you see, it's Potter's band. Haven't you heard them calling each other those stupid nicknames?" exclaimed Lily, proud of her new revelation.

"Sirius calls James _Prongs_? Oh my! For so long I thought he was calling him _Thongs_, I should have my ears checked," Makenzie laughed abashedly.

The dog in the grass fidgeted.

Lily shushed her. "I wouldn't answer anything, any one of them has put together. My guess is that you're the bait of one of their pranks!"

"But Lily, you haven't read it, you see... I'm under obligation." Mackenzie handed Lily the roll of parchment from her pocket.

Lily's eyes scanned the page in a whirl, her countenance growing more stern with every word, her eyes widening in fury. Remus neared in to read the letter and it was as follows:

_Our Dear Miss McGavott, _

_The Messrs of Mischief and otherwise known as the Marauders, cordially invite you to an occasion of most intrigue. Please be on the fourth floor at ten o'clock tonight, next to the painting of the mute maid (don't worry, she'll keep our little secret), with this letter as proof of validity. You have been hand picked and selected by one of our Messrs and we do add that such is quite an honor. With that in mind, you are also on obligation to attend, lest you wish a proper jinxing. We greatly thank you for your cooperation and we wish you the best of days. _

_Very and Quite Sincerely,_

_Messrs of Mischief:_

_Moony, who complements you on your genuine heart._

_Wormtail, who complements you on your legs._

_Padfoot, who admits to copying you potions essay, many thanks. _

_And Prongs, who wishes to express his adoration for all the Gryffindor girls, Evans especially. _

_P.S. You'd do best to keep this close at hand, as it is a top secret bit of parchment, dangerous thing you know. _

"It's a trap, don't answer it,"said Lily flatly, forcing the letter back into Mackenzie's hands.

"But Lils, you read it! They've threatened to-"

"Ignore it. Don't give them the attention they want. It's a trap, a nasty trap and Potter's behind it," sniffed Lily, impervious to persuasion.

"You're probably right," sighed Mackenzie, brushing her light brown ringlets from her eyes. Both girls stood in a moment of silence, gazing at the letter clutched in Mackenzie's hand.

"You said you had something to tell me too," she said quietly, giving Lily a sidelong glance.

"Oh it's nothing," she muttered quickly. "Just..."

"Complaints about Potter?" offered Mackenzie, knowingly.

"I have nothing to say about that conceit," Lily insisted, crossing her arms.

"Oh, hmm I see."

"What do you mean _I see_? It's as if you think I'm lying or something!"

"Well you're not very convincing, you're a terrible liar you know Lils."

"I am not lying! I just think Potter's a rotten, rotten boy who should use a comb for once, with that dreadful nest he's got sprouting from his head!"

"Oh you like his wild hair, teased Mackenzie.

"No I don't, it's a frightful mess to be honest."

"No," mused Mackenzie airily. "I don't suppose it's anywhere near the ranks of Sirius Black's. I still think he uses _Madame Vaniteuse Hair Elixir_, oh with that shine."

The girls giggled and the dog in the grass growled slightly, taking Mackenzie's comment to personal offense.

"It's a shame they're all so unsatisfactory. Lupin seems to be the only one with sense, but still... that's debatable." Mackenzie looked at the sky, the half crescent of a waxing moon shown dimly above.

"We should go back now," suggested Lily, taking Mackenzie by the arm. Lily faced her, looking at her friend squarely. "Don't answer it," she pressed. "It's a dodgy sort of thing. Just please, for me, don't."

Mackenzie looked away, contemplating how best to answer Lily. She finally nodded in hesitant agreement, although her eyes traveling shiftily to the side as she did.

Lily smiled broadly, "Oh good, good Mackenzie, I'm so glad. Lets be off now, supper."

The dog waited long until the squeak of the girls' sneakers against the grass faded away, to show his true form. In seconds, the canine turned from mutt to young man, shaking the kinks from his legs. Sirius had been listening to Evans and McGavott for quite some time, and his crouching position had not suited his joints well.

He now wished for a hot shower and some firewhiskey (he and James had taken a liking to it late last year, when Madame Rosmerta had bet Sirius five galleons to try a swig. Of course, you can only imagine what happened). He sighed heavily and took a small mirror from his back pocket. He looked around to ensure he was alone and uttered the name _James Potter_. The mirror buzzed blue, and in the frame shown the spry young face of Prongs.

"Things going well?" he inquired.

"Fairly," Sirius answered breathlessly. He had no idea the air was so cold until now, his shaggy warm coat had protected him earlier.

"Well don't go beating about the bush, tell me!" James urged, wrinkling his nose in a boyish fashion.

"Evans tried to persuade her out of it, but I think we've got her. Tell Moony it's all go."

"Right," nodded James, then furrowed his eyebrows. "Where are you? You're shivering like mad!"

"Out on the quidditch field," chattered Sirius. "God this is bloody cold for September!"

"Well get back in here quick I... do you hear that? S'on your side I think."

Indeed it was. A high pitched giggle came from behind one of the stands. The shadow of Bellatrix Black played against the grass, followed by the lengthy and broader form of Rodolphus Lestrange.

"Ooh!" Bellatraix laughed wretchedly, "Why'd you bring me out here?"

"Why else?" drawled Lestrange, grabbing Bellatrix around her waiste.

Sirius was temporarily reminded of what muggle born Mundungus had once told him. "_Trix_ are for kids." He had said this the last time they saw Bellatrix. Sirius had given him a quizzical glance to which Dung merely answered, "Ah, muggle stuff".

Lestrange drew Bellatrix in and Sirius instinctively looked away, gagging at the thought.

"What's going on out there?" pressed James, with a curious grin.

"Just-" Sirius cringed once more, having seen the two figure topple to the ground. "-cousins. See you in a few. Ugh! All right, well bye." The mirror buzzed and James' face vanished, leaving Sirius in the awkward position of spectator to Bellatrix and Rodolphus' romantic moment.

Withholding the urge to stupefy the two and report them, Sirius slipped past unnoticed, and made his way to the Great Hall, where James and Moony awaited him. Hopefully things would go well and Moony would win McGavott.

Remus detached himself from the memory, the temptations of dream overtaking him. In the loft Buckbeak gave one giant snore, causing Remus to jump. He looked to the clock on the wall. It was a quarter and a few after twelve. He would finish his reading tomorrow. His lids were heavy and he struggled to keep them open as he folded a tab to the date September 5th.

Remus pushed Sirius' possessions to the side and propped his head against Buckbeak's belly. The beast's depthy snore proved as a catalyst to sleep, somewhat like counting sheep really. He dimmed the lights with his wand and peered through the open window at the white crescent in the ink black sky. He shuddered and turned over on his side, hoping to dream of more pleasant things, like the Marauders and their will to woo McGavott for him.

_N/A: Woo, wow, I'm out of breath. Tired. Have you noticed that when Remus is tired so am I? Ironic isn't it, well I have to live vicariously through someone. This chap was meant for buildup purposes. My next entry will be up a lot quicker. Prends tes notes a moi, si vous plait. A.K.A: REVIEW!_


	10. Moony and the Maid

Disclaimer: Do I even need to do this? If my story's on fanfiction obviously it's not original material. Really, seesh, but as to remain law abiding sigh I admit that nothing is mine and Rowling owns all, now are you happy? Dandy.

N/A: I hate school! I hate it! Don't make me go back! PLEASE! Oh God, save me, save me! Sorry for that little outburst, I just thought I'd make a point. Ya okay, enjoy...

>>

>>

Remus couldn't return to his reading as soon as he wished. Other duties lay before him and the usuals needed to be addressed, eating and bathing were just a few. Finally in the late afternoon he was able to continue, locking himself up in the loft once more. Molly Weasley had commented that it was unhealthy behavior, locking oneself up with a hippogriff, but Remus honestly didn't care, Sirius' diary was too intriguing to ignore.

The page labeled **September 5th** lay open, waiting for him. Visiting the past was now like breathing, he eagerly let it submerge him, ready to relive the magic of that night so many years ago when he tricked McGavott in love with him...

"It's 9:40 now." Whispered James, "We should have plenty of time."

The Marauders were huddled together behind a suit of armor, chatting in secrecy. Remus assumed this was the fourth floor, as it seemed quite deserted and less familiar than the lower levels. Staircases spiraled here and there, some seemed limitless and others pointless, placed randomly or too ridiculously high to climb. A single torch lit the floor, causing a dim haunting aura. Specimens in their frames stirred and others grumbled. One was particularly vocal, asking James if he'd ever heard of a comb, and was blatantly flippant with Peter about his weight.

Despite the unease of the fourth floor, James and Sirius were fearless, feeling as if the masters of the school. They had trod many a night about the grounds, and discovered every nook, niche and secret imaginable. Along with these findings, they had also acquired a kingly boldness, followed by a strut and arrogant manner. Snape as very right on one occasion to say that James walked about the school like he owned the place, the Marauders certainly felt they did.

"Do you think she'll know where it is? I mean..."

"No worries Moony. Everyone knows 'bout the Mute Maid, why she's a relic, famous! My dad still talks about her, claims she winked at him once. O'course that's a load of rubbish," babbled James.

"Well what about Filch, what are we doing for him?" asked Moony.

"Oh he shouldn't be a problem," smiled Sirius. "I sent him a box of those amazing Watermelon Wipeouts, put on the card that it was from his mum. He should be in a heavy snooze for another... oh five hours I'd say. From the looks of the wrappers in the rubbish bin, he cleared a whole box!"

"Watermelon Wipeouts the tangy cream that helps you dream," Moony recited the familiar jingle. "Yeah, I've heard of those. Of course once he wakes up they'll be the 235th item in the _Restricted Articles List._ Enjoy them while you can I say."

"Sounds like everything's in order, all we need is McGavott to follow her mischievous instincts and you'll have yourself a girl Remus," grinned James.

"I just hope she's on time," worried Moony. "Where's McGavott now?"

"Well let's see then, shall we?" suggested Padfoot, retrieving a roll of parchment from his robes. He lay it flat on his palms and tapped its edge with his wand. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Lines etched across the parchment, revealing the Marauders' personal blueprints to the school.

"Voila! There she is," James pointed to a little black dot wandering about the third floor. McGavott was accompanied by another dot, labeled _Lily Evans_. James flushed pink and bit his lip. "It's a pity she's too sensible," he thought aloud. "I'd love to have a bit of fun with her."

"Pity," sighed Sirius heartlessly.

"Naughty naughty Potty, spying on the ladies!" cackled a voice from behind.

"Peeves!" growled Moony, turning to see the little ghoulish man, hovering above. He cradled a giant pink water balloon in his hands, which he was aiming dangerously at Moony.

"If you think you're going to do something with that Peeves, I'd reconsider," Moony warnedboldly, desperate not to let anything foil his plans for McGavott. He pointed his wand daringly at the ghoul. Peeves inched back a foot or two.

"Lupin going to do old Peevy in?" he taunted. "Loopy. Loopy Loony! Loopy Loony Lupin! Loopy—"

"Shut up Peeves!" bellowed Sirius.

Peeves blinked and swung his water balloon as he sang, "Nickety nack, ooh it's Black, try to keep the ladies back!"

"I said _shut up_!"

Peeves' eyes bulged. "Ssh! Don't want to wake her, might disturb her, likes it quiet she does, the Mute Maid."

James stepped in. "Scram Peeves!" he ordered.

"Teeter totter, look it's Potter, Evans thinks he's worse than fodder!"

James balled his fists, but let them go, snatching the Marauders Map from Sirius. He scanned it quickly as Peeves jeered on. He looked up, grinning confidently. "How touching that you've tributed your sonnets to us, but I'm afraid the Baron's on his way." James pointed to a drifting black dot in the map. Peeves wilted with displeasure, popping the balloon in his hands.

"Hmph! Potty!" he glared, floating away down the corridor.

"A shame, I would've liked to hear the one he made for Peter," Sirius whispered in James' ear. His face alit, imitating the poltergeist, "Looky loo Pettigrew, think he's gained a pound or two?" The boys snickered, ignoring Moony's impatient eye.

"C'mon then, back to business, back to business," he urged. James and Sirius separated from their mockery.

"Keep your knickers up Moony lad!" said James, whipping out a strip of parchment from his back pocket. "Ahh, here we are! Spent a good afternoon working on this. I would've fancied a bit more help, but Padfoot was at watch and Moony was tied up, I know." James glanced grudgingly at his fellow Marauders. "But anyway...it's been modified up to standard."

James rolled up the parchment and rapped it against his palm. "If Moony's chosen well, McGavott should know what she's getting herself into. Quite unlike Padfoot's Aimee Dingue, who couldn't tell her right from her left, let alone _read_. I think we really stuck her with the word _chastity_, that's where the mix up was," James smirked at Sirius, giving him a kidding punch.

"That was just one time Prongs," shot Sirius defensively. "I've chosen better since. _And_ if you recall, we left the job up to that Sir Codagan, bloody annoying chap!"

"That shouldn't happen this time. I've left the job to the Mute Maid, and speaking of which..." James rumpled his hair and tightened his tie. "We best discuss our plot with her."

He tucked his invisibility cloak under one arm and led the others down the corridor, to a small frame with a painting of a beautiful, sleeping young woman.

Sirius gave James a dubious look, "This... is our colleague?"

James wagged a finger at his friend. "Oh you doubt too soon Padfoot. Just watch... _Psst_, _my lady_! _Psst_!" he whispered harshly. The Maid's eyes flickered sleepily open. She gave a petit feminine yawn, and let her lustrous blue eyes fall on James. Her long dark lashes fluttered disbelievingly when she saw him.

"Sorry to wake you at his hour m'dear, but we have a bit of a job for you."

She flipped her golden locks behind her indignantly and glared at James, very irritable at having been awakened.

"Just a little task," he pleaded.

The Maid frowned and rolled her eyes.

"James you said this would work!" interjected Moony. "Is she always this stubborn?"

"Allow me," offered Sirius, stepping forward. The Maid's eye's flashed when she saw him, and her cheeks rouged a tinge. She bat her lashes fancifully.

"Perhaps you'd like to aid a close friend of mine, _my lady_. He is in desperate need of a female counterpart and will simply die without her (Moony opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it). Might I tempt you with a bit of mischief?"

The Maid cocked her head to the side, considering the offer.

"Please," begged Sirius, irresistibly so. The Maid was caught in his snare. She nodded, flushing wildly.

"Excellent!" exclaimed James, bobbing back into the Maid's view. She frowned distastefully at the sight of him. "Just take this lovely sheet and hand it to a frizzy haired damsel—"

"Frizzy!" cried Moony, "Those are _curls_ James."

"Curls, frizz, it's all the same to me," he said quickly. "Anyway, if you'd just hand this to her, we'd be much obliged." James dangled the parchment before the Maid, she snatched it reluctantly from him.

"You know what to do after that."

She nodded and fidgeted testily in her frame.

"Won't bother you any longer," bowed James. "Right then. Moony, the time?"

"Five till."

"Chipper, under the cloak." He flung the cloak over himself and Moony, disappearing from sight. In an instant, Peter had transformed into a rat and joined his fellow Marauders. Sirius winked at the Maid before he too vanished, although he could have sworn he saw her blow him a kiss.

The Marauders didn't have long to wait before they saw the luminous bobbling light of a wand, followed by an anxious looking McGavott. She appeared ready for bed, donned in nightdress and slippers, with her hair was tied loosely back in a half ponytail.

Beneath the cloak, Moony spied her lustfully, noting every delicate curl of her hair and the softness of her eyes. He gulped and Sirius nudged him teasingly. He supposed this was how James must have felt when he saw Lily.

McGavott took her steps cautiously, quite aware of the risks (Filch or Mrs. Norris for example), and stopped every so often to listen for approaching footsteps. Sirius mumbled something to Moony about the scantiness of Mackenzie's nightdress, causing her to stop dead in her tracks, hearkened to the murmur. Assuming it was just the garbling of a painting, she continued down the corridor. Someone to her right coughed.

"_Hem hem_."

She jumped, but regained her composure, realizing it was only a portrait. "Yes?" she crooned.

"Looking for something?" asked a plump, balding friar.

"I, well... no," she fumbled.

The friar gave an exasperated sigh, examining his fingernails in nonchalance. "I really probably shouldn't tell you this, but... she's down there." The friar pointed a further ways down the hall, hinting at the Mute Maid.

McGavott smiled brightly, "Oh thank you, I'd certainly of had a time looking for her."

"All right, all right," blushed the friar. "Go on, before I feel guilty. Students walking about the castle at this hour, why never in my day!"

Sirius took a peak up Mackenzie's gown as she passed, Moony kicked him, and for a moment the Marauders nearly risked being seen. Peter was flung from James' grasp, landing less than a meter away from Mackenzie. He made furious efforts to return to the invisibility cloak, finding it rather hard to do in the dark. He began to notice the more immediate danger, McGavott's approaching steps. He squeaked wildly and dodged Mackenzie's slippers by a scratch. She hadn't noticed, finally coming to the portrait of the Mute Maid. Peter yelped as a hand snatched him up from the floor. "_Come 'ere you,_" James hissed.

"Oh um, good evening," curtsied Mackenzie to the Mute Maid. "I was given a letter that said... oh why, why thank you." The Maid handed her a slip of parchment.

The same elegant script as in the previous letter appeared on the page, clearly written by Moony...

_The Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers commend you Miss McGavott for coming thus far. We guarantee that an excursion of great entertainment awaits you and we solemnly swear to you full protection and assurance. Fear not dear lass, we are professionals. We do however add, that as true allies are few and far between, we request that you sign our little waver. You won't be selling us your soul, only your honest affirmation that you will keep the secret of our little band quiet. Signing this does obligate you to answer, obey and otherwise do anything we the Messrs request of you (within your means, we assure you). _

_WARNING: If Miss McGavott thinks she is so clever as to foil the Marauders, she is under very wrong assumptions. The Marauders are quite unmerciful with even the sweetest and most attractive of deceivers. If Miss McGavott wishes to keep her good looks, she will sign this ruddy form and snog with Master Moony as long as he desires. All in good fun of course. _

_Salutations, _

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. _

_Please sign on the line below..._

_X-------------------------------------_

"They sound rather forceful," observed McGavott. The Maid nodded her head knowingly.

"Well, should I sign it?"

The Maid tilted her head to the side, keeping an amused spec of a smile on her face. Not receiving an answer, Mackenzie asked something else. "Are they boys?"

The Maid nodded eagerly.

"Are... are they nice?"

The Maid bit her lip and shrugged indecisively.

"Well then are they... dangerous?"

Pondering a moment, the Maid shook her head.

"Will I like them?"

The Maid smiled broadly, it was an obvious yes.

"Can you believe it, Moony wants to..." McGavott hushed her voice, blushing. "_Snog_ with me."

The Maid's hands flew over her mouth, her eyes glistened with the thought, _scandalous_!

"I know," giggled McGavott, turning a deeper red. "Do you know him, Moony?"

The Maid nodded.

"Do _I_ know him, is he in my year?"

_Yes_, mouthed the Maid.

"He's not a pratt, or a real dingy is he?"

The Maid tossed her head back in silent laughter.

"No? All right well... how's his looks, not to be superficial or anything I just—"

The maid gave her the okay symbol and winked.

"Oh he's not bad then, that's a relief. So if he's handsome, my age and judging by his eloquence, intelligent, then why shouldn't I sign? Not to mention, he fancies me."

The Maid gave her a reprimanding look.

"Oh I kno," sighed McGavott. "Lily thought the same thing. But well, I suppose you only live once... not the most sensible attitude but... Oh I don't bloody care!" McGavott signed in her best cursive on the line.

"I could be selling my soul," she lamented.

The letter altered itself into what looked like a copy of Marauders Map, though less detailed. A mini golden caricature of Mackenzie was placed in the middle of the fourth floor and a blue arrow labeled _Moony_ directed her towards the nearest spiral of stairs. With one last wave farewell to the Mute Maid, Mackenzie let the arrow lead her.

Moony uttered an incantation, causing a sort of chameleon effect, that let him blend into his surroundings. James gave him the thumbs up and he sighed releasing some of his nerves. "All right see you lads later." He choked and led Mackenzie away.

James and Sirius were left to stand guard, equipped with the invisibility cloak and the Marauders Map, playing jacks by wand light in front of the portrait of the friar. Things seemed to be going smoothly, until Sirius noticed an approaching specimen on the map.

"Holy crap!" he gasped. "It's Evans, James get up it's Evans, she's on her way up now. Under the cloak, under the cloak!"

"Well where the bloody hell is it?" he panicked, tripping on the set of jacks. James looked up, Sirius had vanished .

"Where are you?" he hissed, groping the air.

"Here right here, oh... shit." Sirius was silenced and James soon understood why.

"Potter?" Lily stood at the stairwell, the most peculiar expressing donning her face. It was too late, there was no escape, James would just have to play his cool.

"Evening Evans," said James in his deepest, adult voice. Lily grimaced at his lounge lizard vernacular (N/A: Sorry if you need a dictionary for that one, I fancy uncommonly used words. My brother thinks I'm a loony, I don't blame him really).

"What, what are _you_ doing up here?"

"The same as you I expect." He smirked, taking her in with his eyes. He found it cute, her checkered pajama set and her topknot.

"What do you mean the same as _me_?" sneered Lily.

"Oh don't play stupid, we both know you're here for McGavott."

"She didn't come up here did she? After she promised... after she... oh!" stamped Lily.

James yawned. "She was under obligation you know."

"You don't mean to say... _you_ were behind that letter weren't you? Oh I could kill you Potter, what a wretched trap!"

James blinked, and drawled in a very bored tone (as if this were merely a natural circumstance, which by all means it wasn't), "Who's to say its trap? How else do you think we'd get McGavott to go out with Remus?"

Lily nearly pounced at him in rage.

"What? Is there a problem with that?" he asked, warding her off.

"Obviously!" she snarled. "Mackenzie can think for herself, she doesn't need you pushing her towards Remus!"

"Think for herself can she? Then why are you here?" James stepped before her, just as she made a move to pass him.

"Moral support!" she barked. "Now move before I... I... give you detention!"

"Harsh!" laughed James, "Like I haven't had one of those before." He blocked her from trespassing with the broad span of his arms. Lily tried to push him away.

"Will you ever dry up?" Lily moaned. "Move! Move... _please_!"

"Don't worry Evans, McGavott's not in mortal peril, she'll be just fine, and as for you, I suggest you take your pretty little prefect rump back to the dormitories."

"Oh that's what you'd like wouldn't you? Have me skip off so you can go pelt Filch's office with dungbombs!"

"Actually, I'd prefer you here, I could do with a good snogging."

"Oh you arrogant pratt! You... you... I pity your poor mother!" she cried in exasperation.

"What?" Now for James, that was offensive. "Hold up there miss priss, say that again!"

"I'd rather not, now... one last time Potter, MOVE!"

"What's the magic word?" he chimed.

"_Please,_" she uttered saucily.

"Come now, you know it." James grinned, taking a real joy at annoying her.

Lily chewed on her tongue, furious. "I don't want to play games!"

"I'll help you then. It's four words actually."

"I don't want to play charades either!"

"Well if you insist! Say _I love you James_, and you're free to pass."

"I'm not saying _that_!"

"C'mon, just say it, I dare you," he taunted. (N/A: I'm oddly reminded of the Switchfoot song "I dare you to Move", appropriate isn't it?)

Lily placed her hands on her hips, unwavering. Seeing no success with this tactic, James tried again. "Poor McGavott," he said in mock pity, "I wonder what awful things Remus is having her do?"

Lily's face whitened with horror. "Get out of the way James!"

"Bravo! That's a first isn't it? Why I'm all a flutter, you calling me _James_, like we're so close!"

Lily continued to glare. Her bottom lip began to protrude, pouting. "Oh move, move, move you big... mean, conceited, good for nothing... dolt!" She pushed against him, shaking her head wildly, causing her hair to come undone.

James clucked his tongue, "Oh dear, I just might have to wash your mouth out."

"Oh stop it, just stop it James!" sobbed Lily, her eyes tearing in frustration. "Where's Mackenzie? Please tell me!"

"It's nothing to cry about!" he soothed, lightening his tone, he felt rather bad now. "I told you, McGavott's just fine. Remus would never force her into anything, he's too soft for that." He marked wryly.

Lily pointed a shaking finger to his nose. "You had better be right, or I'll never forgive you!"

James' eyes crossed, fixed on his nose, which he realized was now free of intrusion. He blinked, and swore inwardly for looking so stupid in front of Lily.

"Sure, yeah all right," he shrugged a little too casually. Lily frowned. James corrected himself. "Of course." He gulped "But if you don't mind Lils, uh I mean Evans, could you keep this mum?"

"_Mum_? Really Potter, do you think I'd be stupid enough to let anyone know I've been wandering the corridors after hours?"

"I didn't expect so," he mumbled, feeling even stupider than before. Caught in a moment of awkwardness, James shifted his feet uncomfortably, and mussed up his hair. Lily narrowed her eyes. James remembered what she thought of this habit and quickly crossed his arms.

"Leaving yet?" he asked, regaining his cocky self.

"Right now in fact." huffed Lily, turning on her heels. She gave James one last disapproving look. He sucked in a wavering breath as his eyes met hers.

"G'night love!" he called after her.

Lily stopped abruptly, clenching her fists. She muttered some inaudible ravings and kicked the nearest suit of armor. She yelped at the pain in her burning toes and hobbled away, grumbling as she went.

"Heavens, what a temper!" remarked a painting.

A hand settled firmly on James' shoulder, it was Sirius.

"All right mate?" he asked.

James nodded, looking after Evans. "Ya." He said quietly, "Ya, I'm all right."

Sirius' messy scrawl returned...

_McGavott returned with Moony safe and sound about a quarter to three and I must say, our plot was a success. From the sound of things, McGavott just about professed her love to Moony. He's elated of course, and I'm dog tired (no pun intended). I never really asked what happened between them, but I suppose I'll find out in the morning. I believe I have a bit of clarification to do. I may not remember years from now what the heck a "Message from the Messrs" is, so I will elaborate for my future forgetful self: _

_Now you see, a "Message from the Messrs" is this, a means of wooing a damsel by way of intrigue. In other words, build that romantic suspense, so by the time she finds out who you are, she's deathly desperate for you. It's been a Marauder tradition to go about this with a letter of invitation, and lead the girl on this wild heart tugging goose chase, lavished with letters of love n' kindness. It's all gagging mush to be honest, but females eat it up. Besides, they think it's oh so "romantic", and apparently that's what makes a man a "catch". On most of these wooing excursions we end the night at the Three Broomsticks. It's a charming place to ask a girl out properly and Rosmerta's a doll about it all, extra drinks free of charge and sometimes a touch of firewhiskey. Our great plot isn't all that brilliant actually, it's more an excuse to leave the grounds and snag a lass while you're at it. We've done plenty of research I'll tell you, on what works and what doesn't. We've had the most luck with this method, so it's the one that's stuck. It's a little morally twisted I've deduced, but then again, I haven't heard anyone complain yet. _

_On to other things, like Evans. She gave us a right good start earlier this evening, intruding like that! I hope she keeps her pretty little mouth shut about us. James told her too much, he has such a big mouth sometimes. _

_Peter's in a tizzy, still caught up in his "near death" experience with McGavott. He keeps talking in his sleep, preventing me from my beauty rest. Just now he garbled something like this, "No mum, I'm not a rat! I'll eat the cheese if you don't squash me!", it's all stuff that doesn't make sense. I think James' up too. He can never seem to sleep after an encounter with Evans. _

_I wish I could smother Wormtail with the pillows, I'd just about kill for some shuteye! _

_>>_

_>>_

N/A: So what'd you guys think of that chapter? Less Remus, more Sirius? More dialogue or less? Better description? Shorter chapters, longer chapters? Lots more to come but I need to hear your suggestions. I'm desperate for detailed reviews, so write up!


	11. Unexpected Troubles

Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a girl who wished she was Rowling, but wasn't the end. That's the best disclaimer I think I've ever written by golly.

BE WARNED: LONG LONG CHAPTER (that I find rather pointless actually), hope you have a lot of time to waste. I was on the world's biggest writing spree this afternoon. Sorry about the delay too.

N/_A:I love how my reviwers are so cultured. First I get a German review and then I get one with a hint of Spanish, je l'adore (that's French by the way, any one who doesn't know that well... I'm sorry). And it's about time I thank my loyal reviewer _**Anne-Marie**_, which I am sorry for neglecting for quite some time. Many thanx to _**dragonsgrl**_ and I really hope you write more for your story. I know school makes a lot of people busy, but I'm (patiently and loyally) waiting for the next installment. I want to encourage everyone to keep writing. Even if you think people won't or don't review, just stick with it, you can write and you're all gifted. _

_By the way, after I finish this fanfic I'm thinking of writing the Musings of a Werewolf or another sort of diary experience, except with Remus. I've found I have a lot of notes for him that I collected for this fanfic alone, so I'm thinking of expanding my borders in that sense. Tell me what you think. Is that a good idea or should I just stick to Sirius? I think he's what I do best but I'd certainly like a whack at Moony. Sorry for wasting your time there, I'll be quiet now... _

**Saturday, September 6th: **

Sirius lay atop his covers clad in just boxers, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. He had not gained one ounce of sleep that night and now he was at a point of insanity. His hair was so disheveled it could be compared to James' and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. He was in such a fury by the time Moony's alarm clock sounded that he cursed everyone from the man in the moon to his mother, shocking his fellow companions.

"Glad to see you in such jovial spirits Padfoot," said James. "Slept well?"

"Oh shut up, you know perfectly well I didn't!"

Moony stretched heartily, yawning, "That was the best night's sleep I've ever had!"

Sirius kicked at his covers, glaring across the room, "Glad to here it!" he snapped.

James rolled his eyes, "Lighten up will you? Moony's just had the time of his life, give him a moment before you push your rain cloud on us!"

Sirius said no more, attacking his hair irritably with a comb.

"C'mon now Remus, tell us all the glorious little details. How was McGavott?" James inquired eagerly.

Moony smiled with those dazed faraway eyes as he recalled his night with Mackenzie.

"Maybe when he comes back to earth he'll tell you James," said Sirius.

"You know that tunnel, the one that ends up outside of Godric Hallow?" asked Moony quite randomly.

James blinked, "Ya, what about it?"

Moony's face contorted into a slightly twisted smile. "It caved in."

"What?!" cried James and Sirius in unison. Peter made a stifled gasping sound and fell from his bed.

"Ya, just as we were getting back. It's a shame really, but if it hadn't happened I'd of had no success with Mackenzie?"

"What do you... what? Speak English Moony, what are you talking about?" questioned James with his signature nose wrinkle.

Moony sighed and fiddled thumbs, "Well even with the whole 'shpeal' she was still pretty resistant. She agreed to go out with me, but it was more for politeness I think. Anyway, I decided to take her back through the tunnel, because it's a lot faster you know. Three fourths of the way in rock started falling. I thought we were dead at first, but I did a quick bit of wand action that saved us. That's when 'Kenzie sprung at me."

Moony read James' look of confusion. "In more of a relieved, loving way actually. She insisted I'd saved her life and that she'd love me forever and well... you can imagine what happened after that." Explained Moony, reddening with embarrassment.

"I _can_ imagine," said James, "But I'd much rather hear what happened. It didn't involve the _deed_ did it?"

Moony stared at him blankly for a moment. "That's not exactly information I'd like to solicit, but no, I wasn't that lucky."

"Then you and McGavott are an item now?" piped Wormtail. James and Sirius rolled their eyes.

"Well I'd hope so," laughed Moony lightly. "She told me to meet her before breakfast and I'll be tutoring her again. Yes we're an _item_ I suppose."

Sirius pulled the last tangle out of his hair and beamed victoriously at himself in the mirror. "That's a record don't you think Prongs, winning a girl in two days?" he was finally coming out of his gloom.

"Oh I don't know, Dillwiddle was pretty quick. The question is, how long will it last?"

"I had Hestia Jones for three weeks, I think that's a personal best!" boasted Sirius (as if this was really a great accomplishment).

"That's only because she was on holiday _two_ out of those three weeks," Moony reminded him.

"Well I was with her in spirit, thinking of her all the time," said Sirius haughtily.

Moony smirked at the lame excuse, "Yes and that explains why you snogged with Jennings that week."

Sirius opened his mouth ready to retort, but stopped short. "I... hmm... Good work Remus, you seem to have trapped me on this one. I guess I had a good reason at the time."

James was busy scrunching the sleeves of his shirt (this was another one of his quirks. He liked to appear as if he'd been on the quidditch pitch all day with a heavy breeze. It all amounted to his rugged look. Image was everything for James Potter). "Never had much luck keeping girls have we?" he noted, glancing at Sirius.

"Oh going steady's no fun anyway!" laughed Sirius with a wave of his hand.

"Too true, too true!" concurred James.

Moony frowned at them as he pulled on his robes. "You two are being real idiots," he scolded, "No wonder Evans won't go out with you Prongs!" James looked taken aback. Before anymore could be said, Moony pocketed his wand and excited the dormitory, claiming he was going to meet McGavott.

Sirius and James exchanged bewildered looks.

"Why does he keep doing that?" Sirius asked in frustration.

James shrugged, "I don't know, but it sure makes me feel stupid."

"Ashamed is more like it," corrected Sirius.

Breakfast in the Great Hall was less busy this morning. Weekends tended to be days to sleep in and take the lazy approach. James and Sirius were the only two at the Gryffindor table, save for a group of chattering third year girls and a collection of seventh years.

"I thought we were simply doing Remus a charity, I had no idea I'd be putting myself through torture!" grumbled Sirius as he downed a strip of bacon. He glowered at Moony who was a bench down, sitting next to McGavott. They had their heads together and were exchanging lovable prattle, a clear and adoring couple.

A girl behind them giggled to her friend, "Oh they're so cute!". Sirius' expression turned sour as he imitated her, "_Oh they're so cute_!" in a mocking voice much higher than his own. "Great, now look what we'll have to endure, well wishers for the happy couple!"

A swarm of girls gathered around Moony and McGavott, announcing how "adorable" the arrangement was. McGavott looked pleased with herself, Moony on the other hand looked exceedingly intimidated by the attention, and took to shooting James and Sirius panicked glances.

Sirius waved, smiling weakly, "Oh I hope you're having a good time mate, it's the price for a girl," he muttered.

The girls dispersed, leaving Moony and McGavott to their breakfast. James noted Lily was not amongst them. In fact, he hadn't seen her at all this morning. He voiced his concerns to Sirius.

"You don't think she's mad at McGavott do you, or... me?"

"Well she's always mad at you mate, it's never stopped her from coming to breakfast before."

"Oh... yeah," said James, eyeing Moony once more. His eyebrows narrowed and he grimaced, looking away. "I'm starting to feel what you mean. This is torture! I'm going to get my broom, coming Padfoot?"

Sirius shoved his plate forward and nodded, "Yeah, all right."

"But you two've barely eaten, wait for me will you!" whined Peter, cramming his mouth with sausage. "You should really eat more!" he urged.

James didn't bother to pacify Wormtail. "We'll live," he said, sliding from the bench.

"I'd wait a moment sonny lad before you jump to fun."

James' eyes flashed upward, meeting those of Filch, the caretaker. Sirius mouthed a swear word, knowing what was coming.

"If I remember correctly, you lads have some detentions to make up," growled Filch with a sadistic grin.

"Detentions? To make up? That's crazy, I could've sworn we served them all!" cried James, knowing quite well they hadn't.

"Last year OWLs were your excuse, try coming up with something better this time Potter, I'll be merciless this year!"

"Glad to hear you're finally buckling down," said Sirius tartly.

"I've got a special job I've been saving for the lot of you," said Filch, ringing his hands with relish (N/A: The joyous kind of relish, not the kind with pickles. My brother's such a weirdo, he proofed this and he said my readers would be confused. Really, who wouldn't know what I mean?). "The dungeon bathrooms have needed a cleaning for quite some time. Haven't gone down there myself, the smell's much too rank for my liking, but I'm sure you brawny lads can handle it."

"You're too kind," glared James, not bothering to hide his dislike.

"So, if you'll just follow me, I'll get you all fixed up!" Filch beckoned them with one finger. With great reluctance, Perrigrew, Padfoot and Prongs slid from their seats and followed Filch out of the hall.

"Oh and before I forget," said Filch, holding up the line. "I've been given the permission to write to each of your _mummies_ if you give me any funny business. Got it!" he barked, coming within an inch of Peter's nose.

He flung open the nearest closet door and retrieved numerous cleaning articles. "That means _no_ dungbombs, _no_ disappearing, no nothing, just _good clean fun_!" he shoved a mop into Peter's hand. A bucket and sponge was thrown at Sirius, and James was thrust a toothbrush.

Filch smiled deviously, "That's to get between the cracks," he informed James.

The horror of it all was beginning to settle in for clever Potter and his band, they would spend their weekend scrubbing the floors of the boys bathroom, engulfed in the putrid scent of urine and what else, only God knows. James had to pull through, he had to save himself and his companions. His only means of sanctuary passed before him.

"McGonagall!" he cried, "Oy! McGonagall, a word, a word please!" The tight-laced professor stopped abruptly.

"Can I help you Potter?" she called.

"Um yes, yes! You want us to win the House Cup don't you professor?"

"Yes," she answered slowly, unaware of where this conversation was going.

"Well uh... wouldn't you rather we practice today, you know, to catch up!"

"By all means practice, or do you have other plans?" she asked darkly.

"They're with me today professor!" cried Filch urgently, eager not to let his captives slip away.

"Are they Argus? Why?"

"Detentions professor, loads to make up!"

McGonagall pursed her lips, "Hmm well..."

"The House Cup, professor!" cried James.

McGonagal considered deeply, "Yes Potter, yes... but I... hmm."

Filch looked ready to burst into tears, "They deserve it Minerva! I'll take it to the headmaster I will!"

"Oh calm yourself Argus, it's only Potter."

"_Only Potter, only Potter_?!" shrieked Filch, "The trouble, the mischief, oh Minerva I've been waiting all summer to get my hands on these two, Potter and Black!"

McGonagall laughed airily, "I understand you quite verily Argus, but I beg you please leave my students in proper quidditch condition when you've finished with them." She gave James an apologetic smile and strode away.

Sirius looked to James in defeat, "Bad luck, Prongs." That was beginning to become a usual phrase.

The dungeon lavatory was worse than any of the Marauders could have imagined. Toilets overflowed with the most rancid of contents and the floor was covered with rat droppings and all kinds of foul articles. The odor was so bad even the bubble headed charm couldn't repel the stench. To make things worse, Filch had locked them inside until the job was done.

"This is gross!" gagged Sirius, kicking aside a rat skeleton.

Filch's voice cackled from outside. "Get used to it sonny, this is how I spend _my_ Saturday nights!"

"Evil man, just evil!" cursed Sirius.

"Remus should be down here with us!" wheezed James, caught in the whiff of an especially gnarly cubicle. "Bloody unfair that _we_ should have to suffer this and not him. That's how it always is though isn't it?"

"And to think, we helped him with McGavott," Sirius shook his head.

The day crept slowly by in the lavatory. It was impossible to tell the time, as there were no windows and an eternity seemed to pass until their release. Sirius guessed they had been captive a fortnight, but came to find only eight hours had passed. Finally, Filch let them free for supper, after much persuasion from McGonagall.

Instead of heading straight to the Great Hall, James and Sirius made a quick beeline for the showers. (N/A: and no, sorry ladies, I'm not describing Sirius or James in their birthday suits, that'd just be too groady!). Peter chose to dine and dash, not caring about the pungent fumes he reeked about.

Not long after, Sirius entered the common room freshly bathed and squeaky clean, meeting Moony by the fireside.

"Where've you been mate?" Moony jumped from his seat urgently.

"The dungeon lavatory," sighed Sirius, "And the showers." He brushed his wet black hair out of his eyes, "Where we were you?"

"I was with Mackenzie of course, one moment you all were there and next... wait, _the dungeon lavatory_? What on earth were you doing down there? James too?"

Sirius flopped down in an arm chair, "James too, and Peter. We had 'make up' detentions. Lovely don't you think, wish you could have joined us."

Moony's jaw dropped, "Make up detentions! Why that's, that's..."

"Despicable," gulped Sirius. The sting of the whole experience had not washed away for him and he stared, dazed into space, wounded from the horrific torture.

"That's awful mate, I'm sorry you had to suffer it alone. I mean, I don't suppose I'd fancy that kind of work, but I should have been down there with you."

Sirius shot Moony a glance. "_Hell ya, you should have,_" he thought.

"I'm going to make that man pay, I swear I'm going to make Filch pay! All the dungbombs in the world aren't good enough punishment for what he made me go through today. First thing tomorrow morning Remus, I'm going to _plan_!" Sirius was taken by a fiery zeal as he pounded his fist on the armrest.

Moony stepped back, "Here mate, you take it easy. Have some sleep and in the morning all these nasty feelings will smooth over."

"Oh I don't think so Remus, I really don't think so," scowled Sirius, gripping the life out the armrests.

James emerged in his bathrobe, cursing Filch with every word he knew. Moony obviously felt very guilty (this soothed James somewhat), and graciously offered to snag James and Sirius some food from the kitchen.

"Would you, I don't think I can even remember what food tastes like anymore," whined James, flopping down in the chair next to Sirius.

"I'll be needing your..." Moony coughed, but it sounded much like the word _cloak_.

James massaged his temples, "Sure, under my bed."

Moony nodded and hurried upstairs.

James looked to the floor and noticed a stack of papers. "Remus left his notes," he said, scooping them up. "Mind quizzing me, maybe it'll take your mind off things." James handed the stack to Sirius. Mind you, there was only one person in the world Sirius would do this for, and that was James.

"Can't believe it, studying," he shook his head despairingly.

"Humor me will you, I don't want to look like a idiot in front of Evans," whispered James, tossing a look over his shoulder.

Lily sat at a table far towards the end of the common room, leaning her head against the windowpanes. She would scribble and write, scribble and write, tossing aside a wad of paper here and there. Though she was distant and not paying an ounce of attention to James at all, he felt himself under constant surveillance in her midst.

The minutes ticked by. The boys soon took to silent study periods, finding their oral practices quite dull. Extreme boredom would have settled in if McGavott hadn't appeared.

"Looking for Remus?" asked Sirius, somewhat coldly (he still had not relented about Moony missing their detention).

Mackenzie twirled her brunette locks rapidly, "No, actually I was looking for..." Her eyes caught sight of the red head by the window. "Lily! Lily, Elise said you wanted to talk to me!" McGavott sped over to Evan's side. Lily looked wearied and stern, not greeting her friend with the same air.

"Ssh Mackenzie, don't tell the world. Yes, I wanted to talk to you." Lily pushed forward a chair and bid her friend sit down. Lily continued the conversation in a subtle murmur. James and Sirius hearkened.

"I haven't seen you all day."

"Well... I was busy," shrugged Mackenzie awkwardly.

"Oh yes of course, you were _busy,_" snapped Lily.

"Well I was!" insisted McGavott.

"With all the lying you've been doing lately, I don't know what to believe," said Lily, crossing her arms.

"Lying? Me? Lils, what's gotten into you?"

"Are you oblivious to everything Mackenzie? Do you even remember what you promised me yesterday, about Potter and that letter!"

McGavott's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh... yes well I— _it wasn't a lie_, not an intentional one anyway!"

Lily threw her arms up, "And what's worse, is I come to find you've paired up with Remus Lupin! Of all people Mackenzie, really!"

Mackenzie tugged at her skirt nervously, "It's not that big a deal Lily," she said quietly.

Lily leaned in and whispered harsher, "Not that big a deal? Do you know what a horror it was to find you bed empty last night? I thought you were ill, or... I didn't know what, I was worried sick! Then I discovered you'd gone to answer that stupid letter, and I met _Potter_ on the way." She spat the word _Potter_ from her mouth with the cruelest of tongues.

"What, you saw James last—"

"Yes, and he told me all about his horrid little scheme! How irresponsible, how naive you are Mackenzie!"

McGavott bit her lip, her own anger bubbling. She stole a quick glance to the side. "People can hear you Lily. James is listening."

"No he's not," said Lily quickly, denying what she knew was the truth. "You think everything is just innocent fun, well Remus is one of _them_, and eventually he'll want more. You know what I mean!" Lily's tone turned less harsh and more soft and caring.

Mackenzie swelled, stammering with a quavering lip, "You're wrong Lils, and this is _my_ business, n-not y-yours."

"It's so abrupt, so unlike you! You lied to me for some... fleeting boy! It's so unlike you!"

"No," said Mackenzie firmly, "It's so unlike _you_. I'm not you Lily. You might hate James, but I don't and I'm sick of you telling me what to think!"

"I never meant to! I just wanted to—"

Mackenzie held up her hand to stop Lily from going any further. "I know you care," she began slowly, "And I know you mean well, but this time... _back off_."

"Back off? I just... I..." Lily's eyes glistened with forming tears. "I... fine," she gulped, nodding. "You know what's best for yourself, I'll be... I'm going to bed."

James was in the corner reading. His eyes flashed up and met Lily's. Ashamed of her tears, she turned from him and sped up the stairs.

James looked at Sirius. "What do you suppose?"

"Don't go poking you nose in Lily Evan's business, she'll just hate you more James. Ignore it," advised Sirius, going back to his notes.

James' heart panged as he looked up the stairway, somehow he didn't think Padfoot was right.

_Things are turning out bitter between McGavott and Evans. We didn't anticipate this kind of tension. Half the things Evans said were pure insulting! What the hell did she mean by 'They'll want more', what does she think, that we're sex fiends? I don't know where she got that idea, and I'm furious that she thinks Remus is unsatisfactory! Really, he's the best out of all of us (I'm humble enough to admit) and he deserves a girl for once. The way she said Potter, made me want to squeeze the life out of that redhead! What makes her think she's any better than James? I just want to jinx her when she rolls her eyes at him, but I refrain for James' sake. After last night, and what she said to McGavott just now, I... I don't hate her, but it's certainly something close to it. She's a snippy little witch in my opinion and I think James is better off with out her. _

_Just watch, James is going to feel sorry for her, try to fix things, and just make himself look stupid. He always blows it. He acts like the biggest idiot at the worst of times, I've found. He shouldn't give Evans any sympathy, she deserves a bit of torture. Let her brood for a couple of days and then things will go back to normal. It's always that way with girls. One moment they're writing each other death threats, the next they're preplanning each other as bride's maids for their weddings. I don't understand it. Girls do things like that though. My cousin Ani, (Andromeda) already knows what her gown is going to look like and she's insistent upon a winter wedding in Rochester. By God, the woman isn't even engaged and I don't think she's even got a boyfriend. She told me this as if I'd really care, it was all in one ear and out the other, but I remember the wedding stuff quite clearly, because it sounded so preposterous. _

_Moony finally has the woman of his dreams (but I don't know how long that'll last, with Evans sticking her finger in the pie). I'm happy for Moony, I truly am, but I feel horribly tortured seeing them together. I have my hopes on an impossible girl. Doesn't Sinistra see, she'd go beautifully with me! Not too short, not too tall, excellent figure, long hair. It's a dream package and I'm furious that she's so narrow-minded not to see it. That nasty Lily Evans probably put ideas into her head, turning her against me. After all, what was it McGavott was saying? Oh yes, that Lily was trying to tell her how to think! Sounds like a pushing dame. It just adds another tally mark to my "Why Evans isn't Suitable" list. She's probably harmless, I know, but she's getting to be a problem. James just takes all her insults! She should at least give him a break once and a while, we're all human right? _

_James' birthday is Tuesday. I've got a doozy planned. It's even better than birthday spankings, which James has been pinning for Evans to do. He'd have more luck with her slapping him on his facial cheeks, I think. _

_Filch will be receiving a 'good clean' punishment soon, James and I have decided. Hope he likes cockroaches and honey. We're going to do something to the Slytherins too, just for spite. Keeps us on our toes, you know. _

N/A: Okay ya'll, that's it for the September 6th entry. I hope for chapter twelve to be up a lot quicker. I really think 11 and 12 should be together, as the story line is sort of linked. I need your thoughts. Tell me what you like and what you don't. If you don't like McGavott, tell me. If the story is getting bla tell me too. I need to know these things for future reference and improvement.

Okay, this next part is kind of random, but someone asked about Harry, so I've written a little update on how he's doing. Sorry to all you Harry Haters (after the 5th book I've found there's quite a few, oddly enough), but I couldn't resist...

June passed dismally at #4 Privet Drive. The heat was sweltering and the air conditioning had broken down at the Dursleys. This put Uncle Vernon is even fouler spirits than usual and Aunt Petunia into something of a nervous wreck. Petunia's condition declined with each of her wilting begonias and she fret endlessly about the state of the lawn and what the neighbors would think. She failed to realize that her neighbors' lawns were experiencing the same loss of greenery as well and that a shabby yard was inevitable. Harry was getting the worst blast of Petunia's steam. His very presence set her to boil and she would rant and rave about the state of his hair and room, finding them both with detestable flaw.

Harry brightened somewhat at the arrival of birthday cards and well wishes. He was a spry young sixteen, but hardly felt it. Seclusion did not suit him at all and he was highly insulted when the Dursleys gave him a cheap pocket comb for his birthday. This was clearly in mocking, for it was known, that no comb could settle Harry's hair (N/A: Harry's hair, that was a weird sentence).

It all really happened late one afternoon in early August. Aunt Petunia had come into Harry's room to gather his laundry for washing, when she noticed the album on his bed.

"What's that?" she snapped, catching a glimpse of that familiar red hair.

"It's nothing!" exclaimed Harry, jumping to his feet to shut the cover. Petunia reached the album before him, gasping at the sight of her baby sister and her husband.

"Where did you get this?" she asked, her voice shaking. Her eyes darted threateningly to Harry.

"It was a gift," he said hoarsely, his fingernails were digging into his palm as he refrained from lunging for the album. "It's mine, give it back!"

"I'll give it back when I've taken a good look at it!" cried Petunia, holding the album back from Harry with a childlike greed.

Harry's jaw was clamped tight, he had to control his anger. It had nearly expelled him twice and he could not risk it again.

Petunia turned the page, her eyes widening. She sneered at a rather comical close up of James.

"Ridiculous, smart-ass of a boy!" she spat. "Insulted Vernon on their first meeting. If having a witch in the family wasn't bad enough, _she_ had to bring Potter into it!"

Harry simply glared, envisioning the worst possible means of torture for her.

"The first dinner party we had she insisted on bringing him. You think he'd have had the decency to wear a suit, but no! He showed up in bloody ridiculous... what's that sport your kind play?"

Harry was taken aback that she would even ask, "Quidditch," he said shortly.

"Yes well, _that_ kind of attire, dragon hide and all! Imagine what out guests thought!"

Harry glowed inwardly, reflecting on how cool his father must have looked in front of so many stiffs. Dragon hide? James must have been very serious about the sport.

"And you think with everything he learned at that school he could have flattened his hair. But that was nothing compared to his cocky mouth!"

"Really?" asked Harry saucily.

"He made obscenely snide remarks at Vernon and Marge, as if _he_, the _freak_, knew better!"

Harry could wait no longer without speaking his mind, "What did he say? That you're all selfish pigs, because I for one know that to be very true!"

Petunia's nostrils flared, her expression turned sour, "Selfish? When we have to put up with you? Had your father only known we'd be raising you, he'd have shut his dirty mouth. He was a fool!"

Harry stepped forward. He was a full head taller than Petunia now, and he challenged her with his size. "I think he sounds brilliant! It sounds like he had the right idea about you from the start. He could see right through you, couldn't he?"

Petunia took a wary step back, but attacked him shrilly, "You're just as ungrateful, just as foolish! No matter what we've taught you! Anymore of this kind of talk boy and I'll throw your dear old father in the flames!" Petunia held up the album threateningly.

Harry's face twisted into a wry smile, "Clever, light a fire on a summer's day like this? Oh, and it might help if we didn't have an electric fireplace."

Petunia reddened, "There's plenty more ways to punish you! The freaks at your school can't stop me from that can they? And don't be smart with me, how would you like to miss supper again?"

Harry was silenced. He had skipped eating all day, and Petunia's threat did not at all sound appealing.

Petunia turned the page, viewing a strikingly good photograph of Sirius, standing with Remus at the Potter's wedding. Petunia's mouth crept into a dry smile, "Potter and his freaks, that _Black_, I remember him."

"Sirius Black," corrected Harry.

Petunia glared. "Yes I know," she snapped. "Just as deficient as Potter. Tall, dark fellow, Vernon was right to call him the 'Lunatic with the leather jacket'."

"Shut up," said Harry, quietly.

"Another of your loved ones, Black?"

Harry didn't answer, he'd never let her know of Sirius' death. It would seem like a defeat, a shameful defeat, and he couldn't bear for Sirius to be mocked.

"Too fond of parties Black was," said Petunia foully. "And of the drink! I don't think one could ever forget him. No, you couldn't have a sane party with him. The wretch would work his... (Petunia would never say the word _magic_) ways on every decent woman. He was a dirty minded piece of filth, like your father."

"That's a not true," fumed Harry, "That's a load of crap!"

Petunia flinched at Harry's choice of words (much like cringing wizards made at the name Voldemort), "How would you know, you weren't even born! He was a freak, they were all freaks!"

"And you were jealous!" bellowed Harry.

Petunia looked furious, but Harry continued boldly, defending his parents once and for all. "It's amazing how you remember so much, about Sirius, my dad and a school _you_ didn't even go to. You were jealous, admit it!"

Petunia tried to laugh lightly, but it was hardly convincing. "Jealous? What did I have to be jealous of? My sister? Certainly not! Marry a complete crazy, end up dead, you think that's something to envy? Of course, sometimes I wish she took her lowly son with her!"

Petunia watched Harry's anger rise, contented with her success. He could feel the floor beneath him shake, he was letting go, slipping into a rage. Control was losing him. Harry's brain buzzed, he had to stop, he was going to be expelled. She had insulted his father, his mother, and Sirius, the closest to loving family he'd ever known. What would James have done, thought Harry. Would he tolerate this bitter hag or would he jinx her good and proper?

Petunia prodded once more, "You think we like a scrounging little rat in our midst? No one likes a nuisance, a pain in their side!"

"Funny, I was thinking the same about you."

That did it, Harry was locked once more in his room and was not given dinner that night. With a wavering hand he wrote to Remus, trying to sound as calm as possible, though he certainly felt other wise.

Remus got the letter a little less than an hour later, while he was scrubbing down the floors on the lower landing (dust seemed to accumulate in the Black house faster than ever). Hedwig had landed on his shoulder, startling him so, that he spilled the water bucket. He supposed she must have flown in through an open window, and graciously took the letter from her beak. She perched herself atop one of the elf heads and crooned peacefully. Remus unfolded the letter and read...

_Dear Remus, _

_I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I've been here much too long. Dudley has a girlfriend (I would never have thought it possible), and things are worse than ever. My Aunt's been on edge ever since I got home, more on edge than usual, and she's done a lot of... strange things. She raves a lot too now, mumbles things when she thinks no one's listening (reminds me of Kreacher actually). She's been saying things about my mum too, and my dad. Uncle Vernon suggested taking her a psychiatrist, but she insists she's just fine. It's odd, just this morning she was crying over the porridge pot, blubbering about my mum. Dudley wouldn't eat it, he said it was too salty. _

_There's something else I have to tell you too. You know that album I showed you last Christmas, the one with the pictures of my mum and dad, well I was stupid enough to leave it on my bed and when Aunt Petunia came in to do the laundry she found it and well...She made some nasty comments about my dad, and compared me to him like she always does. She knew Sirius too. I didn't know. She said he was "that lunatic with the leather jacket" I don't know what that means, but I got really angry and she took away the album._

_This is a plea for help! Hope you and Buckbeak are well. And please tell Ron and Hermione I wrote, I've run out of parchment and my only means to contact them. _

_Sincerely yours._

_(A very hungry, starving) Harry. _

Remus looked up from the letter with weary eyes. "Harry's not doing well then?" he asked Hedwig, scratching her head. She hooted dolefully.

Remus nodded, "There's not much I can do, unless he wants me to go over there and give that aunt of his hell." Hedwig flapped her wings, hooting eagerly. "Well of course I really shouldn't..." The snowy owl wilted. "That's more a job for Moody. Tonight's a meeting, I'll tell him then."

Hedwig seemed much more fond of this idea, and nibbled at Remus' fingers affectionately. He looked away, smiling. "The lunatic with the leather jacket. Oh Sirius would have found that amusing."

In Sirius' younger years, once out of school mostly, he took to the rugged look, with black leather jacket and motorbike. Those were his days of self-exploration and daring. Remus remembered Lily had commented that the jacket made Sirius look "hard" and that a cleaner cut look suited him best. Of course, Sirius was still a man of style and class, he just fancied his toys.

The motorcycle also had a magnet affect when it came to women, and that was one his main reasons for liking it so much. In the times before and after school, Sirius held a lover boy mystique that so intrigued females. When he used to work part time as bar tender at the Leaky Cauldron, the female help would giggle and squeal at the roar of his approaching motorcycle. When James would tease him about it, Sirius would just roll his eyes, but it was obvious that deep down, he really enjoyed the attention.

Remus blinked, returning his thoughts to the present.

"Well I'll send some crumb cake and a few rolls of parchment," he said to Hedwig, who had been eyeing his suspiciously, whilst he was in his thoughtful trance.

"That should tide Harry over at least for a couple of days."

He sighed again and looked far away. "So Petunia's taken to the mickey, has she? It's about time, after sixteen years I'd certainly think so. Guilt has it's own time for everything I suppose, even if it takes a decade and a few to settle in."

Hedwig hooted conversationally.

"Yes, well I'm glad you think so," smiled Remus.

In a matter of minutes, he had gathered a good sized lemon bunt cake from the pantry, and five rolls of parchment, using one to write his own letter.

_Dear Harry,_

_I hate to ask this of you, but please be patient. I've talked to Dumbledore, and things will change soon enough. I'm sorry to hear about your current condition. I don't feel out of turn at all, when I say I'd like to jinx that hag aunt of yours and I'm sure Sirius would have said the same. I'll have Moody on it right away! _

_Enjoy the bunt and let Ron and Hermione know how you're doing. Stay sharp. _

_Sincerely, _

_R. Lupin_

Remus sealed the letter and sent Hedwig out the window with the parcel. He gazed gloomily after the vanishing white spec. "James would have killed us if he'd known," he told an elf head, sadly. "Petunia Dursley, of all the God awful souls in the world, oh James would have killed us. I doubt he'd ever have thought his son would be surviving off moldy bunt and saltines. Could he have imagined Sirius dead, and Peter..." Remus trailed off.

In the quickest spurts of anger, Remus kicked the water bucket. Disgruntled, he knelt down and snatched up the sponge, scrubbing furiously at the floor. "Oh Remus!" he cried to himself, "You are a fool." Mrs. Black started screaming down the hall, but she was the least of his worries.

N/A: I know, random. But what did you think? Getting to big juicy issues next chapter. REVIEW! Can you believe there are those evil people that read stories and don't review them? Those people are meanies. Be a nice person and review... please. Most sincerely, Amalynne.

* * *

**Other fluff** _Yay! It's my birthday! I'm officially sixteen (the perfect age for Sirius! Keep dreaming honey), and I don't have a car. That sucks, but it's okay, I'll just ride my bike everywhere and do a good turn for nature. While I'm at it I can just become a naturalist, better yet an environmental activist. Yes, you'll see me someday on a corner protesting with one of those "May the Forest be with You" signs. Ha! Ya right, this is coming from the kid that kicked Smokey the Bear in the shins one year at summer camp (it ties in with the whole freaked out of Santa, clowns, and the Easter Bunny thing that little kids go through). All right well, that was pointless too. Forgive me I have these moments. _


	12. Revelations and Whims

Disclaimer: I Amalynne O'Hara own the rights to absolutely zippo of Rowling wondrous creation. All characters and names belong to her, save for a few of my own. I was chastised by my peers for not adding disclaimers to my first chapters. But really, who reads them anyway?

**A note to my little bro**_- Jeff, please stop being an annoying sibling, we've talked this over before, and I'm sorry, but I just don't see any carnage presenting itself anywhere in this story. I'm sorry you don't like the tiny bit of romance that's in here, but not everything can be about bloody battles and not all my characters can be jedi, that's Star Wars, this is Harry Potter, just clearing that up for you. Now, please stop bashing my story and read it and shut up or don't say anything at all. Keep cool Jedi dude, but don't get down, remember, the force is with you young one. Watch and learn my padawan. _

_N/A: "n/a" does indeed stand for not applicable, but in my terms it means nagging author, someone asked why I didn't put "a/n" for author's note, but I figured that wasn't original, then again maybe this is my lame excuse for my excess of typos. For example, I've been writing McGonagall's name wrong thru this whole story and not one person has informed me of it. Just yesterday I happened to stumble across it (sigh), promise I'll check my work better from now on. So finally, after one whole long whopping month... drum roll please... CHAPTER 12! _

Remus skipped an uneventful Sunday entry, and turned to Monday.

**Monday September 8th:**

He was whisked into darkness and a peaceful silence. Moonlight played on the floor and wispy curtains billowed at an open window. There was the buzz of slight snoring, of even breaths in dream, and the creak of floorboards. A little brown something dashed through the window. There was a thud and then...

"Aaaaah! Sweet Jesus, don't let her at me!"

A depthy snore came from one side of the room, there was another thud and a moan.

"_What the-_? James, was that you?"

A voice rasped and choked as it spoke, "Padfoot I nearly died, you should know!"

"Peter? Turn on the lights, what's going on?"

Someone fumbled across the floor and a dim bedside lamp flickered on. Tangled in his bed sheets, Sirius shielded his eyes from the light. Peter was on the floor, his nightshirt damp with perspiration, his dull wisps of hair standing on end, and his lip quavering with something of fear or shock, either of which Remus could only guess.

"N-nearly died!" squalled Peter, flinging his arms around himself for comfort.

Sirius rubbed his eyes andthrew his covers off him, "What's it you're blubbering about?"

James snored loudly in his bed, and Sirius jettisoned a roll of socks at his head, "Oh dammit James, get up! Remus?"

"I'm up, I'm up!" cried a groggy voice from a clump of sheets that was Moony. "What's going on? It's not but five yet!"

Peter pulled himself up shakily, by a near bedpost and James was finally aroused with a kick from Sirius.

"Okay Peter, just tell us what happened!" demanded Sirius.

All attention was on Peter as they waited for him to explain his perils. He took in a wavering breath and began his stuttering explanation. "W-well you know how w-we always said we'd like to play fly in the wall in the girl's dorm..." he paused reddening.

Some awed looks were exchanged by the Marauders. Could this possibly be so? Could Peter have found an answer to the mystery that had so vexed them for six years, the way safely into female dormitories? Sirius looked exceedingly doubtful, but became violent when Peter failed to continue, the suspense too much to handle. "Spit it out!"

Peter jumped and released the hem of his nightshirt, which he had been twining nervously around his fingers. "Oh yes well uh... see, I um, I decided to play rat on the floor."

James' eyes became wild and crazed as he leapt from his bed with excitement, grabbing Peter by his shirt collar. "Did it work Pete? Did it? Talk Peter, talk!"

Peter backed away, rubbing his neck sorely, experiencing a raw burn from the attack.

"It worked," he said hoarsely, "All to well it worked. I went through the window," Peter pointed to the open panes.

"Well we figured that much, but how did you get in without... dieing?" Sirius asked, still disbelieving that mousy Peter could have developed the brains to penetrate the genius of the school's founders.

Peter rubbed his nose and shifted uncomfortably, "Well, it was something you said, Padfoot."

"_Me_?"

"Uh huh, remember you talked about someone levitating you in through the window?"

Sirius furrowed his brows, feeling a bubbling of anger, that Peter's genius just might have been his own. "Vaguely," he answered.

Peter was wringing his hands about wildly as he floundered for the words, "S-see, I figured, since I heard you talking about Evans... and um everything, I just thought I might hear what the girls really had to say. It's just well, there are cracks in the walls between the two staircases... I found that out by accident, but they lead straight into the girl's dorms. You can um, slip through the window too if you like, there's more space that way. Prongs, the dormitory didn't seem to know the difference when I was Wormtail, it can't decipher gender in animagi form, lucky huh?"

Peter received no immediate response, all the Marauders were too shocked to speak, amazed at Peter's dumb luck, Sirius could nearly have killed him for it.

"You mean to tell me..." James began slowly, "That we could have gotten in all along, just as... as animals!"

Peter nodded eagerly, grinning with bashful pride.

"But there has to be more you can tell us!" cried Moony, "What did you hear? You heard them talking didn't you?"

Moony's question was drowned out by Sirius who was more intrigued by the means of entry into the girl's dormitories than of the girl's themselves.

"So if I turned into Padfoot right now, and ran up those steps, I'd be seconds away from heaven?"

"Sure, I guess if you wanted to try it you coul-"

"This doesn't matter!" cried Moony. "What I want to know is what did they say?"

Remus smiled, he knew that Moony was most interested in what McGavott thought of him as a kisser.

Peter blinked, "They didn't say anything, they were asleep. Well, Evans wasn't, not for long anyway."

James' already widened eyes, expanded to the size of tennis balls, "Evans was up?"

Peter nodded, "She was up... crying. I think she's still fighting with McGavott," he said this quickly, wanting to avoid another frightening outburst from James. "She um uh... well Prongs, see she was crying in her bed and I felt bad and ..."

"Ah mush!" Sirius rolled his eyes, a little disgusted with Wormtail's weakness to emotion. He happened to pride himself in his stony resonance and he expected others to follow in his leave. Only James was excluded from this rule.

Peter looked at his feet now, a bit ashamed, "And I-I crawled up to see what was the matter and she had this..." Peter released his fingers that had been enclosed in a tight fist at his side. Cupped in the palm of his hand, he revealed a tiny golden ball. "Uh James..." he handed it to Prongs, who took it gingerly, examining the ball in awe.

He gave a kind of shocked laugh, and turn the ball over in his hands. "A snitch!"

Peter took to wringing his nightshirt again, "Ya," he said, with deeper embarrassment. "She almost killed me when I snatched it... then she tried to stamp at me. I just barely made it back here alive. I don't think that's something she'd really like to lose, she was stark determined to get it back... I really should have just dropped it, I could have lost my tail," he sighed and mustered the courage to look back at James. "Heh, girl's are a little skiddish of rats I guess."

"Only of you Wormtail," smirked Sirius.

James was still in an awestruck state, holding the snitch up to the lamp light for a better view. "My God, what would she have this for? I thought I'd lost it, last year after I..."

That cocky smirk that defined Sirius, snuck to one corner of his mouth, as he watched James. "Well I'll say one thing, Evan's sure has awkward fancies."

James' eyes darted to Sirius, "What do you mean?"

Sirius crossed his arms and grinned smartly, as if he knew something the others did not. "She treasures that ruddy ball like it was you, I'd wager. Pity that she doesn't have it in her to admit that she's in love with you Prongs."

"She is?" whispered James. Though there was no need to whisper, James suddenly felt like he was holding a secret.

"Oh Sirius is joking Prongs," said Moony.

"No, I really mean it... Evans is in love with James."

Moony frowned, "Don't give him ideas Sirius, that's the worst thing you could do! It's all probably coincidental!"

James drew in a sharp breath that caused the Marauders to look back at him. "But Moony... this is _my_ snitch!"

"How do you know that?" Moony's hands flew to his hips.

"Easy," smiled James with a certain smugness, pointing to two embossed letters on the little sphere. "J.P, James Potter, it's settled. Engraved it myself, fifth year."

Moony grabbed the snitch from James. It was his turn to show awe, scratched into the side of the snitch was etched a jagged J and a P, that resembled a lightning bolt as it's tail. James always wrote his name this way, he thought it gave the name some character, Potter being such a common title anyway. (N/A: _Just a bit of creative background on why on the lightening bolt thing, ironic, James doesn't know it's true meaning yet. Spooky. I'm freaking myself out._ )

"God... this can't be Prongs. I mean... blimey, maybe she does!"

Suddenly, Remus could feel his world contort, Sirius' diary lay in the palm of his hands and he could just barely make out the words, as a heavy wind gust brought him to the next memory.

_Why does everything always have to happen in Transfiguration? It's just my luck, I suppose._

Remus jumped at the shrillness of McGonagall's voice.

"_No Black, not with Potter, NEVER with Potter!_ Like last week please, in the back with Collier!"

A bleak, gloomy morning shown through the high- arced panes of McGonagall's stately classroom. She stood at the front of the class directing Sirius to his seat with her wand. Sirius, who had been ready to place himself next to James, made a face and sauntered angrily back to his table with Elise Collier and her great horn rimmed glasses. He swore and Elise gave him a sharp look, opened her mouth to say something, and then thought better of it.

"Do I have to sit here forever!" whined Sirius.

"These are permanent arrangements Black, Potter and Evans are... Evans? Where is Evans?" McGonagall scanned the room, looking for the redhead.

"Here, I'm right here professor! Sorry I'm late," gasped Lily, dashing through the doorway. Her cheeks were deeply flushed and she was out of breath, James was in a stupor.

"No matter Evans, please be seated," McGonagall tapped the chair next to James'. Lily frowned however slightly, and sat herself beside him.

"Late Evans? That's not like you," he commented with a half smile.  
"Really?" she asked breathlessly, keeping her eyes to her book bag as she scrounged around for a quill.

"Really."

James took a little golden ball from his pocket and started bobbling it in his hands. Placing a quill behind her ear, Lily turned back to James, her eyes widened with dread at the sight of the snitch.

James read her countenance. "Seen this before?" he asked, grinning a bit deviously.

Lily drew in a breath and watched the ball bounce in his hands. She blinked and looked back to him with a kind of closed expression. "That's a stupid question, of course I've seen a snitch before."

"No, but this snitch."

Lily bit her lip and smiled faintly, "No, I can't say I have." She turned back from him and rummaged through her book bag once more.

James leaned in and whispered, "Aw c'mon Lils, where've you seen this before?"

She didn't answer his question, but emerged with two extraordinarily large novels in hand.

"What are those for?" James wrinkled his nose.

"These? These are my saviors!" she beamed, holding out the books in admiration.

"You see, you won't be a problem anymore."

James hands flew to his hair, "Me a problem?"

Lily smiled, "Oh yes, it's simple. I'll just prop these two darlings between us and we'll have a proper barrier."

Lily demonstrated, placing the books upright between them. It resembled a wall, and James disliked it very much. He peeped his eyes over the top, and asked "A barrier? What do you need a barrier for?"

"You see, this is my side and that's your side, now you can't intrude on my space and learning."

James' eyes narrowed. "How ingenious of you," he said bitterly.

"Yes isn't it?" chirped Lily, taking up her quill and parchment, for McGonagall begun to lecture.

James slumped down on his "side", put out by this roadblock. He could protest to the professor, but it would be doubtful that she would side with his argument. He could knock over the books, but Evans would simply hate him more. There seemed no way out, though soon, he took to the brighter side of things, playing footsie with Evans under the table.

"Would you stop it!" hissed Lily, peeping over the books.

"Stop what Evans? Really, stay off my side."

Lily's eyes turned to slits, and disappeared behind the barrier. On James' side he smiled victoriously. At this rate, Evans would be sitting in his lap at dinnertime, or that's what he thought. Women really do give mixed signals.

Mixed signals were even more evident on the other side of the room, where Sirius took another whack at Stella Sinistra, floating notes over to her desk with Davey Gudgeon. She would crumple each one up in her hands, then toss her velvet black curtain of hair behind her shoulders and glare him over loftily. He treasured those moments and winked at her when he knew she was looking. She would steal glances and roll her eyes, but Sirius had the impression that this was a merely "hard to get" session that Stella would soon be over with. Sirius had thought he'd conquered the mystery of the female mind and believed a girl played hard to get to see just how hard a male would grapple for her. He suspected Evans of this now, after the discovery of James' snitch in her possession.

When McGonagall paired them off into to groups to practice morphing their teacups into parakeets, Sirius took a more direct approach.

"Hey Stella, Stella!" he called to her, sending his canary at her head to gain her attention (that wasn't exactly a smooth move on his part). "You know, sooner or later your going to have to give in!"

Stella glared at him and brushed the feathers off her front, whilst clutching the life out of banana yellow canary.

"Maybe when I'm dead!" she said this harshly, but her cheeks began to rouge a tinge as her eyes met evenly with his.

"Suit yourself, but you know you could end up like 'Nick and then I'd be hounding you forever," drawled Sirius, kicking his feet up onto the desk, lucidly.

Stella was beginning to like the attention, and to his glee, played along.

"Is it like a Black to hound anyone? I thought you didn't need to fish for girls, I thought they came to you?"

Sirius' hair fell into his eyes as he cocked back his head in a laugh. "Ah, no you see that would make me arrogant, I don't play like that, sweets."

Stella pursed her lips, "_Sweets_? Oh you're arrogant all right, you and Potter. I don't think I could ever stand anyone needs to look in a mirror every five minutes!"

"I do not look in the mirror every five minutes, do I even carry a mirror with me? No, but you do."

"Yes, but who has to look at himself every time he passes a window, you love your reflection Black!"

"Sounds like you've been doing a great deal of observing, I wish you'd let me do the same for you," he grinned winningly and Stella looked down, unable to hide a smile at the corner of her mouth. "C'mon, you like me Sinistra, go out with me!"

Her eyes flew up mechanically, "Your brother asked me yesterday, you know."

Sirius didn't mask his shock, "_Regulus_!"

"Yes, and I uh... I agreed."

A hot anger seared somewhere deep inside him, burning his throat. "You what?"

"It was to prove a point!" she burst.

"And what point is that?"

"That arrogant berks don't win my attraction!"

"And Regulus isn't an arrogant berk?"

Stella turned red faced and swelled, "Not as big a one as you!"

"He's fifth year! He's a mama's boy, a gagging little sissy ass, and he still wets his bed!"

"Does not!"

"Well how do you know?"

Stella blushed deeply. Sirius got a sick feeling in his stomach, at having stumbled across information he really hadn't wanted to know.

"What's the attraction then, huh?" he badgered on.

"You think I'd tell you?"

It was a hopeless battle and Sirius could only think to end with a childish retort.

"Fine, spend a day with the git, you'll see. Tough luck Sinistra, you'll come crying back to me, just watch!"

"I wont come anywhere near you, have no fear of that!"

Sirius got to his feet, slamming down the legs of his chair. "You know, you really aren't that cute after all, I think Regulus is perfect for you actually. In fact I'm so happy for the both of you, why I think I'll just..."

"Just what?"

"Oh forget it."

Sirius was saved, the bell rang.

N/A: I just couldn't bear to write Snape's return from the hospital wing (remember the eau de cologne?), seeing how it would be impossible for me to write something so delicately as not to have the Marauders spring hell out on him. But what happened was this, and I'll have Sirius describe it for you, because he has a way of making things look better than they actually are, this usually pertains to his behavior. He's gotten very good at over the past few years. Making up for all those detentions you know...

_We'd been wondering over the last few days, if old Snivelly would ever return from the medical ward, well this afternoon our question was answered. Greasy pock faced little creep (pardon me, but I'm being very kind here, imagine the things I could be saying about the chap), thought he'd spring up on James at lunch. The idiot! He should know by now that James is too quick for him! Well, I won't go into to detail, but all four of us, yes all four (Moony got involved in this one, Snape said some stuff about muggle borns that set Remus in a right state!), have detention. Something happened though, he said some things that didn't quite make sense, he talked about full moons and mentioned Remus. "Just watch out for Lupin!" that's what he said, I don't know what the heck he meant by it, it just really shook Moony up, he took it rather harshly, it's what really got him detention I think. I was never aware that he knew how to do fluboyancy charm until this afternoon. So we all have Friday set up to serve our detention. Lovely isn't it? We just get done with one detention for Filch and we're thrown another one. Oy! We still need to get him back, I'll consult James on a good date to fix our caretaker up with a joy ride. So, that's all the space I want to devote in my diary to Snivellus, he really doesn't deserve a sentence in my thoughts. See, I am generous, I've given him a whole paragraph! (aka: amalynne is too lazy to write a whole long diatribe on ugly Snape, a character I detest, though felt genuinely sorry for in the 5th book). _

Back to the events of Monday, September 8th...

It appeared to be night. Sirius and James sat alone in the common room, talking in hushed tones at the fireside.

"He said watch out for Lupin!" said James, "You don't think he's got it in for Remus?"

Sirius sat with his legs crossed on the floor, while James stood above him with grave expression. "Even if he does, there's nothing he can do, can he? I mean, we'd just jinx him," Sirius yawned.

James bit his lip and ran his fingers through messy schemes of hair, "You suppose he... knows?"

"Of course not," said Sirius, quickly. "How could he? None of us've blabbed."

"Peter maybe," James considered slowly.

Sirius' eyes widened fearfully for a moment, but returned to their heavy lidded state, "Peter's stupid, but not that stupid."

"He could have slipped something! Remember on the train, he was stuck in the Slytherin car for a good hour, maybe he said something then."

"Impossible," insisted Sirius. "We asked him didn't we, if he said anything about Remus. He said no, remember?"

"Ya, I remember," James muttered, a hint of unease in his voice. He sighed and brought himself to a smile. "Well, we'll just have to keep a sharper eye on that rat, Snape."

Sirius shrugged indifferently, much wearied with this conversation, anything mind boggling was no use discussing in Sirius opinion, not if it was Snape anyway.

"Hey! You'll want your beauty sleep James, big day tomorrow! Must look sharp for sixteen."

"Oh!" James had obviously forgotten. "Ya, well it's o-only, o-" he yawned greatly, "Only a number. I don't see why it matters."

"C'ourse it does!" said Sirius, getting to his feet.

"Why? What, are you planning something? Don't get any funny ideas. Hey, why are you grinning like that? Knock it off, you look queer! You're planning something aren't you?" prodded James.

Sirius threw up his hands, as if to surrender, "No, no, you know I wouldn't. Since it bothers you."

James eyed him suspiciously. "You know if you are planning something, it better not make me look like an idiot in front of Evans."

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it, you're very good at that on your own."

James rumpled his hair, "You're so encouraging Padfoot. But today you... you know, I think I got somewhere with her."

"Bully for you. Sinistra still hates the hell out of me. At least Evans is warming up to you."

"Well she still hates me, I just think I got a little closer to my goal."

"And what's that?"

"I figure if I can't win her heart, I might as well win her soul."

Sirius was growing more perplexed, "And how's that?"

"If by some miraculous chance I happen to save her life, she'll be indebted to me forever more and I figure she can pay me back by marriage."

"Wipe that stupid grin off your face Prongs, I hope your joshing me!"

"Righto good boy!" James wiped his mouth with his shirtsleeve and relayed a frown.

"Amusing. Oh James, we're wayward men, what are we going to do? I can't stand it, I want a girl!"

James' grin returned. "Jennings will volunteer," he said breezily. (N/A: Just to refresh your memory, Blaire Jennings is another girl gone ga ga for Sirius).

Sirius grimaced, "You know what I mean."

James loosened his necktie, and slumped into a chair at Sirius' side. "Sorry mate, but I don't think you'll have luck with Sinistralike Remus did with McGavott."

Sirius gazed at the dieing embers alit in the hearth. "Looks like we're finally in the same boat," he said sadly. "Our sights are on women who hate us."

James threw his head back and laughed, "Don't tell me you've forgotten your trademark saying, 'there are always other girls'."

Sirius smiled slightly, "I s'pose so. I just don't know how you can do it Prongs. If a girl hated me as much as Evans seems to hate you, I think I'd take a ride on the crazy train!"

"Oh it's nothing easy, but it has its perks. In odd ways, it has its perks."

"I admire you for your vigor," smirked Sirius.

James rose from his seat and slung his sweater over one shoulder. "I pride myself for it."

He cleared his throat and looked down at this watch. "See you upstairs, I have some reading to catch up on."

"You, reading? Sure you're not going to wrinkle your trousers, scuff up your shoes? Going to look your best for Evans?" winked Sirius.

At the stairwell, James saluted his friend. "Good night Sirius."

Once James had left the room, Sirius whipped out his wand and started charming a large wrapped package he had been hiding under a chair. He was using a book entitled, _Rude Awakenings and Saucy Sayings for All Occasions_, for reference, along with Figgy Forworth's, _Amusing and Otherwise Pointless Spells for Wizards with Too Much Time_. Sirius busied himself with this for a good hour, until he heard the creak of a door and the shuffle of steps. He cleared away his work and pretended to read James' abandoned quidditch magazine.

"Oh... Sirius! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, I..."

Sirius turned to see a figure half hidden in shadow standing at the foot of the girl's staircase. He could make out the light waves of hair that hung at the girl's shoulders and the trim of her lace nightgown. He wished she would step forward, whoever she was, she was attractive from this stance.

"I just... I think I left my diaryuh, I mean my book down here. You don't mind if I get it, do you? I promise I won't sneeze."

It all became clear now. Elise waited for Sirius to answer. For a moment he was at a loss for words, then he cursed himself for ever finding Elise Collier attractive. He cleared his throat and said smoothly, "Yeah, whatever you like."

Elise proceeded to scourge the premises, in search of her diary. Sirius pretended to read, but kept her in his sight, out of the corner of his eye. Her light chestnut waves shimmered golden in the firelight and with her glasses removed, Sirius noticed her pretty delicate features, which had not at all seemed catching until now. Her eyes, he could see clearly, were an inviting rich brown and thick, elegant lashes framed them.

His stomach lurched, as he thought of how many times he's called her Sneezing Sensation Collier, or Four-eyes, not to mention Sarah Plain and Small, and Little Miss Ugly was just about the worst (and he felt like a devil now for it).

"Found it," she said finally, smiling bright and triumphant. Sirius' face turned stone with shock, at the sight of her pearly whites. This had to have been the first time he'd seen her smile, or perhaps the first time he'd noticed. How could he have missed something so charming?

Eilse took Sirius' expressionless countenance offensively. Her smiled drooped, "Good night then," she said formally. Elise was half way up the staircase, when Sirius came to his senses.

"Oh Elise wait!" he jumped from his chair, reaching the bottom of the stairs in a kind of sprint.

Elise jumped, "Yes, what is it? Did I forget something?"

"I was wondering uh... if you could help me with something."

She frowned slightly, "Depends on what it is."

Sirius laughed nervously (he didn't know why he was nervous, he was never this way around girls). "Well I- I'm not quite understanding the latest transfiguration chapter."

Elise tilted her head to the side, "Really?" she asked doubtfully.

Sirius shifted his feet and ran his fingers through his hair, waiting for her to swoon. "It's not my best subject," he admitted, grinning.

Elise stiffened, this was not the Sirius she was used to. Usually he ignored her, and when he did talk to her it was short, formal, and to the point. He was lingering now, and she suspected he had other plans in mind.

"You're brilliant at transfiguration you liar," she smiled wryly. "You just want me to do your homework for you or something."

"Why I'm insulted that you would think so! I'd never dream of such a thing. Honestly, I'm having a great deal of difficulty with the whole animagi process."

"We're not even on that chapter yet Sirius, I don't even know if you learn that this year. No, what really is your problem?"

Sirius began to chew on his lip, all his options slipping away. "Mutation then, I'm not getting mutation either, dizzying subject."

That didn't work either. Elise smiled shortly, "Yes it is, and I'm sorry I can't help you." She began to walk up the staircase, Sirius was tempted to follow her, but remembered the last time he tried to do so. He made a mental note to attempt it in his animagi form, perhaps during the holiday break, when he really had some free time.

"What?" he whined, "Collier wait!"

Elise stopped again. "What now?" she asked impatiently.

"Help me, will you? I know you understand it!"

"I'm sure Lupin knows the material just as well as I do."

"Yes, but he's lousy at explaining. I've copieduh I mean, read your notes Collier, and they're genius."

"You flatter me so, and I must wonder _why_?" Elise marked coldly, her eyes narrowed.

Sirius stammered a response, "I-I don't know what you mean."

"I really thought it might be obvious. I mean, since when have you ever needed help from Little Miss Ugly?"

Sirius flushed scarlet. How had that ever come back to her? He surely had never said it to her face. "That's awful Collier, putting yourself down like that."

She looked him over sourly, "I should really go to bed. I already told you, I can't help you. Sorry if I'm the only girl that won't grovel at your feet, Sirius. I may be socially unapt in your eyes, but I know when someone's trying to be clever. Stick to Snivellus, Black, leave me alone."

It was all rather a rude awakening for Sirius, and before he knew it, Elise had disappeared. Remus stepped back and smiled dryly, it was certainly about time. It was a lesson he thought Sirius had long been in need of. Collier had hit the point right on the head, and in Remus' opinion it was less than what he deserved.

_I feel like chopped liver, if you want a grim description. My brain in buzzing with everything! First the snitch, then Sinistra in Transfiguration, detention because of Snape and then this! Collier? NO, I won't believe it. How could that not so special, bookworm have morphed over night? Do I need glasses? Am I hallucinating? Is she wearing a mask, or is she truly... gorgeous in disguise? I want to write about everything, but I just don't know where to begin. I suppose I'll just document my thoughts as they come, things might be little mismatched, but I'm not exactly persnickety about organization. _

_Regulus! My own brother gets Sinistra before I do. Now that's something to make a chap a little, how should I put it, furious? Yes, furious is exactly it. He's a little nothing, and she goes out with him to prove a point, rubbish! Well she'll see. It's like I said, she'll come crying back to me, pleading mercy. Will I give it to her? At this point, no, but who know my future agenda. But Regulus? That's another gagger. I tried to convince him he was adopted when we were small, unfortunately I ended up convincing myself I was adopted._

Remus remembered Regulus as a snotty little social climber, that tried to live up to the greatness of his brother, but never succeeded. One would never have thought the two related, if it weren't for the similar Black looks that had been gifted to them. Regulus was a delicate featured, pretty boy, with light brown hair. Who, like Sirius, caused girls to go a little tipsy (Sirius was still the favorite though. Tall and dark was much more appealing than light and pretty). Sirius was mischievous and Regulus was devious, and the differences between them became all the more clear as the years passed. Sirius was the first Black in two hundred years to land in Gryffindor and his family hated him for it, Regulus included, who prided himself as a Slytherin. The thought of Sirius' brother only brought back bitter memories of his home.

_Am I going back next summer? I wish I could say for sure. I was so adamant about leaving in July, but now I'm having my doubts. I hate it, that's for sure, but I'm broke and the Potter's can't feed me forever. Oh! There's too much to think about, life is a horrible thing. I wish I could avoid it. Let me restate that: I wish I could avoid all the horrible things in life. Don't we all? _

_James is paranoid. What can Snape really do? He can threaten, but he's been doing that for years and we haven't seen one of them realized. Shrug it off, that's what I say. _

_But now I just want to sleep, sleep in and sleep late. I can risk skipping Potions, Vicar is really a queer. When will the bad days end? Lucky James will be sixteen. I wish I could turn the clocks back and turn sixteen again too, yes but that's not the easiest to do, Time Turners are really rare. Imagine if I got a hold of one. Oh! What if I did, I just got a crazy idea, I'll be talking to James in the morning. Oh! I swear I'm brilliant! _

'_Night all. _

N/A: Ooh! What would Sirius do with a time turner? Could he go into the future and see Harry again, could he change the error of his ways? Well that's another fanfic, hee hee. Review please! Love reviews y'all! -amalynne


	13. Full Moon Rising

Disclaimer: Rowling is the genius, I am the copycat with an original twist. You know it's quite hard to keep writing original disclaimers, I think I'll just stick with the 'like I ever owned anything' and let it be.

_N/A: For those of you who are interested in the Time Turner idea Sirius had in the last chapter, I have a fic out called **Prongs the Patronous** that touches on what might have happened. Short three chapter blurb, but it's worth checking out._

_I know I've promised to update more frequently, but unfortunately school takes up most of my life. I had to abandon Sirius Black for an analysis essay on Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara. So forgive me, but from the way things look I'll be updating on average, every two weeks. So, without further ado, I give you_ **_la vie de_ **_**mon amour Sirius Black (toujours pur)...** _

**Oh and Warning**_: Slightly angsty chapter, I tried to alleviate it with some comic relief from the great James Potter, though... enjoy. _

_>>_

_>>_

Sirius forgot about his journal for the next three weeks. A full moon and the year's first quidditch match had passed and October was greeted with reluctance because of the cold and the wilting summer season. Even James' birthday had been dismissed, which Remus thought was odd, considering it was such a momentous Marauder occasion. Remus remembered it particularly well, because it had been the first time he tried vehement vodka. Peter had passed out and they spent the night trying to hide him properly.

The next entry was not until October 12th and it was a dull entry at that, having do with Sirius' loathing of Flich and how it was his sixth detention already. Remus was on the verge to throw the diary and never look at it again, because of a comment made about McGavott, but a word on the following page caught his eye, so that he was urged to read on. He flipped to the date October 30th, where he had seen the phrase _full moon_.

**October 30th**:

_Full moon approaches_. Remus frowned, that was all? But then that old sensation returned. The past became present. A new memory set forth...

"And so I thought to myself, what a bloody brilliant idea!" came Sirius' voice with a hint of arrogance.

The low tinkle of china and cutlery mixed with an occasional hollow thud of tankard against table rose, and the sights and sounds of The Three Broomsticks materialized before Remus. An elderly wizard conversing with a goblin laughed heartily at a table in the back, and a band of middle-aged witches were busy exchanging gossip in a low, secretive murmur. At the bar sat Moony, Padfoot and Prongs sipping what they _claimed_ was butterbeer. They had the attention of an attractive young witch, donning glittering blue heels and deep red lip colour. She was listening to Sirius with a cross between a smirk and a smile, eyeing him a tad fondly (no doubt he was a catching young man).

"Do tell!" she urged with false seduction.

Sirius' charming half smile crept slyly to the side (Remus noticed the witch's cheeks glow a shade pinker). "After all, we could go for another few years at Hogwarts- not that we fancy schooling, but imagine the possibilities, we could find out loads. Um, not that we already haven't, but the possibilities are endless, extraordinary!"

"With a time turner," James put in, muffled as he took one giant swig from his whisk- sorry, butterbeer.

"Oh I don't know," said Moony with a warning tone. "What else did you say was extraordinary? Oh yes, _eau de cologne_."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "That wasn't _my_ idea, we owe that one to Prongs."

"Hey! I had good intentions!" cried James, dribbling liquid down his front.

"What's this now?" the witch chuckled.

"Just one more thing I'll be judged for at heaven's gate," sighed James.

He looked away for a moment, contemplating briefly about his eternal resting place. He feared they might turn him away at the gates of heaven and send him directly to hell. In his mind Filch was the heavenly judge who condemned him to eternal damnation for too many detentions.

"No but honestly," continued Sirius, "It's brilliant don't you think Rosmerta dear?"

The witch raised one darkly stenciled eyebrow, biting her lower lip. "What's brilliant Master Black, is how you all made it down here so late at night. Why I could've sworn curfew was always nine o'clock. In my day"

"Ah yes, but your day was four years ago and things have changed sweetheart."

"Oh don't fool me with that, I know perfectly well it's past your bedtime! Too late for Pettigrew was it? No, he really doesn't seem like the drinking sort," Rosmerta mused airily.

James and Sirius exchanged devious looks. "Oh you might be surprised. He shocked us all when he downed six bottles in a two hour sitting. On James' sixteenth, you know, banged things up with a swig or two!"

Rosmerta leaned in further to Sirius and pouched her lips somewhat as she said, "You hold your secrets with me on such high esteem Padfoot, love."

"You know I'm only flirting," he winked, and drank from his flask.

Rosmerta shook her head humorously, her tight flaxen curls falling over her eyes as she slapped him on the shoulder. "That's enough young man," she laughed, "It's only gilly water for you from here on out. Op! Looks like Mr. McClure's getting a bit dry, back in a minute lads." Rosemerta gathered up the hem of her lusty cocktail dress and swept to tend to the customer.

"Wish there was one like that for every man," Sirius whispered to James.

James smiled but said nothing and took out the snitch from his pocket. He did this every so often now, when things were going slow or when he felt methodical, he'd pull the snitch out and toy with it. Though, Sirius knew the real reason for this action.

"Any new news on it? Is she still not confessing?"

What he meant by 'not confessing', was Evans of course. She was still adamant and tightlipped, not willing to discuss the snitch with James or anyone for that matter. She acted as if she'd honestly never seen it before, and now James was even starting to doubt if Peter had made it into the girl's dorms at all. Hope was just a sliver in his mind, but he held onto it nonetheless.

"Would Lily ever?" James kept his eyes to the snitch as he spoke, but it was a lost, kind of hollow voice that responded. "I'd be fooling myself if I thought she would. No Padfoot... its no use."

"It's only October Prongs, you've got months to go at her, years maybe even. It's nothing to worry on, you've got loads of time!" Sirius clasped James reassuringly on the shoulder.

Deep down, Sirius knew he was telling the greatest lie, but he didn't want James sullen on such a joyous evening. He didn't want James drunk whilst in a depression, that really would turn things sour. Giddy and vivacious was the best way to get tipsy in Sirius opinion, although his downs were his main reason for that hypnotizing realm.

"Loads of time? Do I really?" James asked himself weakly, distant.

"There are other ways too," offered Sirius. "Take a look around, you're clever James think of something."

James' eyes flashed up with a sudden idea. Sirius did not seem to notice, looking warily in the direction of Moony. He proceeded to whisper in his companion's ear. "Well let's not bring this out on Remus, with the full moon tomorrow night and everything."

The bright look in James' eyes dimmed and he nodded quickly in agreement, covering up with a deep gulp from his tankard. The least thing he wanted was to have Moony think they were talking behind his back.

But now Moony was out of earshot. Feeling excluded from the conversation, he had traversed to the back to mix himself something a bit more robust. Not only were the Marauders the kings of Hogwarts, but of Hogsmeade and The Three Broomsticks especially.

The month had been a fairly pleasant one for Moony. He and McGavott were growing all the more close (Evans was finally beginning to accept their arrangement), he was acing his classes and besides one detention, sixth year was turning out as benign as can be for the Marauder' s docile hearted werewolf.

The approaching full moon had been something to dread for young Remus, and despite the reassurances of his friends, that they would make it an adventurous affair, he still had his doubts... and fears. But that was Moony, ever cautious, leery, and mild. Not as mild as some may have thought though, his temper was never to be crossed. With the blood of a werewolf running through his veins, he couldn't help but be a little savage in some instances. McGavott could even attest that he was somewhat "forceful", but one should really stop there.

"You're doing it again," Sirius nudged James.

James jerked out of his daydream. "What, what am I doing?"

"That creepy trance thing Prongs. It's just a bit chilling, a few more seconds of it and you might just never come back. Tell me where it is you go, La la land or Lily Land, perhaps both."

James didn't laugh or smile, but had the expression of someone in a deep comical thought. Suddenly he blurt out the strangest phrase, and quite loudly too. "I want her so badly, Sirius!"

Sirius was taken aback. "Excuse me?"

James threw up his arms "I've got it! Kill me Sirius, take away my life because I sure don't want it if Evans won't be mine!"

Padfoot yanked what was indeed firewhiskey out of James' hand. "That's enough drink for you! Shut it Prongs or I'll slap you silly!"

"No really, kill me!" James squalled, grabbing back the tankard. "Slap me silly? Well I'm already mad enough, crazed!"

"Lighten up, will you!" hissed Sirius, grabbing him by the arm. He had never known James to burst out quite like this, and attributed it to the ale.

"I don't think you get it Padfoot, it's Evans or death!" James proclaimed gallantly.

Sirius was beginning to notice the dodgy looks they were receiving, James was being very loud. "It's either St. Mungo's or your mum, who would you like me to contact?"

"No, no bring me Evans and an eternal sleeping draught!"

An elderly witch a table away boomed to her companion, "Ah, the drink always does bring out confessions of the heart! Poor lad, so young too."

"James tone it down, it's lost its humor. I'm _serious_."

James smiled with a goofy kind of air. "I know you are, but what am I?"

It would have been funny if in different circumstances, and Sirius looked like he was on the brink of laughter, but retaliated severely. "Quit it Prongs, you were perfectly sane two minutes ago, are you trying to make us look like...like, dammit Prongs, knock it off!"

It was no use.

"A dagger Sirius, bring me a dagger, upon which I may lay my pale worthless carcass!" James was raving dramatically (overly, almost comically so), shaking Sirius. "Oh woe! Oh woe! Evans, what I would do for Evans!"

Sirius' head was spinning a little, he swore never to drink so much in one night, and shoved a wailing Prongs off him. "Get off me you ham, this is ridiculous!"

James was caught in a great emotional sob, when the shop bell tinkled with the departure of three customers. Immediately, almost as if on cue, James wiped his brow and settled himself peacefully back at the counter, as if nothing had happened at all. Sirius was thoroughly confused and wasn't about to forget the outburst as quickly as Prongs.

"What the hell was that!" he hissed.

"Didn't you see?" James asked blankly.

"See what exactly, it was kind of hard to see anything once you got so clingy!"

"Didn't you see who just left?" questioned James calmly, making Sirius' blazing temper seem like a childlike tantrum.

"_No_."

"The Bones sisters, the older ones, three years older than us..."

"Yes, I know," snapped Sirius. "What about them?"

"Let me finish Padfoot, it was the Bones and that dingbat Bertha Jorkins."

"So what are you competing with _her_ now, what's your point?"

"They heard," shrugged James simply.

Sirius nearly toppled off his stool as he blazed, "Well of course they heard you James! Every damn soul in this wretched facility heard you! You might as well have wailed it at Evan's window. Everyone heard!"

"Exactly the intent," Prongs said crisply.

It took Sirius a moment. "What?"

"You think the Bones could keep such a juicy bit of information to themselves, that Mister James Potter is fit to internally combust if Evans doesn't concede to his..." James paused with a devilish look. "_Longing_."

"But Jorkins? Oh you really set yourself up good Prongs, the whole country will know now! Everything that comes out of Bertha's mouth spreads like wildfire!"

James seemed pleased with the comment, and grinned, "I know that, and that's exactly my point."

Sirius scrunched up his face, "You-you, _what_? Big mouth Bertha..."

"Yes," mused James. "Surprises me really that two logical girls like the Bones' would even associate, but well... stop looking so confused Padfoot, it was intentional!"

"You planned that?"

"In a way."

"Clever, Prongs, clever," Sirius marked darkly. "Humiliate me for your own personal gain, I feel well used."

James didn't seem to notice Sirius' sarcasm, or ignored it more likely. "Well maybe I'll have planted a seed of guilt in Evans."

Sirius was still frowning, his dark brows furrowed. "I'd like that birthday present I gave you back."

A little breathless, Rosmerta whisked back, studying James with concerned eyes. "Are you all right, Potter dear? A chap back there said you were raving!"

Taking the liberty upon himself to grab a bottle from behind the counter, James uncorked it with a _pop_. "Just fine love, and by this time tomorrow I'll be even better."

He gave her a wink and brought the fizzling bottle to his lips. Rosemerta merely shrugged, and Sirius shook his head, laughing, "Oh I wish I could understand you Prongs."

Moony had returned from the back just in time to here the last fragments of James' statement. He looked exceedingly bewildered. "I wish I could understand the both of you."

Remus' heart skipped a beat when he read the following date...

**Friday, October 31st, 1975 **(N/A: According to my correspondents, the Marauders were at Hogwarts during the seventies. I will have to go back and alter the previous dates. Thank you all for the insight.)

A whirling gray mist captured Remus and with a mix of his apprehension and fear, he let the memory take him, no matter how much he wished to avoid it. "Why oh why of all days did Sirius have to journal on Halloween of their sixth year?" the words cried in Remus' head, "Oh why?"

The mist drifted away, and a bitter autumn breeze swept by, hollow, screeching gusts, leaves of color shuddering in the wind. Students were traversing back to the castle, from a lesson with Professor Snub for Care of Magical Creatures. It was midday perhaps, judging by the position of the harvest sun, shrouded by the clouds, creating a gloom. Among the students, was found James and Sirius, as always with their heads together, laughing. Moony was trailing behind with McGavott, a crimson and gold scarf was tied around his neck, and he was flushing, the air biting his cheeks.

If you will remember, full moon was soon to be on the rise. Sirius and James had gone to great lengths to ensure Moony would keep his girl this time, and that no full moon could keep him from a normal love life. They had gone to such great lengths that they rouged Moony up with some _Madame Vanteuse Pinky Cheek Applicant,_ and insisted he wear a muffler to hide his draining color. They had however failed to hide the purple bags beneath his eyes, which gave him the look of someone deprived of sleep for a millennia. Where was Peter? Back with Snub, receiving a lecture on his work habits. The Marauders hadn't bothered to wait. They knew he'd be there a long while.

Remus caught up with Sirius and James, hearkening to their conversation, he wasn't the only one though.

"Well I must say Prongs, you're certainly pulling it off well," said Sirius.

He was wearing a crimson beanie, and from the looks of things, Prongs had tried the same, giving him an especially bad case of hat hair (one side was flat, the other side stuck up weirdly as usual). The cold did not suit James at all, it made that long nose of his tomato red and his cheeks bubble gum pink, where it merely brought out a vibrant glow in Sirius' opaque tones. James opened his mouth to answer, when bounded up McGavott.

"Pulling off what?" she chirped, bouncing along side Sirius.

She was doing this quite a lot now, seeing how she and Moony were dating, she automatically thought herself privy to the Marauders personal affairs. And though loyal to Moony, she couldn't help but tag along Sirius' side. He was really eye candy more than anything. Usually flattered by this kind of treatment, Sirius couldn't help being annoyed with the nosey brunette.

"Pulling off what?" Mackenzie repeated again, when Sirius failed to answer.

"Pulling off Stover's robes," he muttered without giving her a look.

"What?" McGavott squealed, taken back the scandalous idea.

James laughed, and being the kinder heart, soothed her with a lie. "Just quidditch stuff McGavott. Sirius can't help it if his mind's always wallowing in _dirty_ thoughts."

Sirius slipped James a quizzical glance.

"Oh!" Mackenzie cried in a shocked and somewhat disgusted tone, inching away, fearful of Sirius scanning her with his "dirty" eyes. "Well I'll uh... find Remus, bye." Sheturned a one-eightyand went back to Moony.

"Cheerio m'dear," James smiled after her, twiddling his fingers in an airy wave.

"Thanks for that, now she thinks I'm a pervert," grumbled Sirius.

"Well you are," James grinned. "And besides, now she wont come around, so things do work out."

They had reached the castle threshold, and now safe from the violent autumn wind, Sirius removed his knit cap, shaking his hair out like a dog. James watched with a bit of envy.

"Can you do that somewhere else?" he asked irritably.

"What? Ugh, now I'm all itchy. Got a comb Prongs? Lovely, hat hair!"

James rested one hand on his hip and frowned. "You know I don't own a comb, I've never owned a comb in my life, that's almost insulting! You don't need one either. I don't see anything wrong."

Sirius tossed his hair back and grinned. "You're looking green."

"Oh don't say that, last I looked I was rosy red with... hmm what's the word, grief? No, that wouldn't make me red would it? Evans, yes that's it. But look at you Padfoot, I think you're loosing some color." James observed, faking concern.

"I am?" jumped Sirius, clutching his cheeks, and then read James' humorous smile. "Yeah right, can it Prongs. Now remember, you can't blow your cover. Evans thinks your fit to die. Shall we practice those woeful eyes?"

James did his best Bambi impression, which was very moving since he'd had much practice in his animagi form.

"Quite good," Sirius marked. "Although, I might whimper a little. Oh, and a few tears wouldn't hurt either."

Padfoot and Prongs swaggered away laughing at their own genius, truly the masters of the school.

Word had spread like Sirius said it would, that James was near suicidal with love for Evans, if one can even put it that way. Either way, it had come across that James was mad in love with her, and that rejection just might kill him. Big mouth Bertha and the Bones were exactly the kind of gossips James had been aiming for, and his plan was turning out better than expected. (_N/A: No Bertha is not at Hogwarts with the Marauders at this time, but you know how word flies.) _

Everyone had been especially careful when talking to him, complementing him on any little thing, and gingerly catering to his feelings. Sirius had commented that everyone was being so damn smarmy, but James ate up the attention, even contemplating being "suicidal" everyday. He hadn't talked to Evans yet, but eagerly awaited Transfiguration, where McGonagall still ordered him to sit next to her. His only fear was that McGonagall might blow his cover. She really had such a nasty way of exploiting his mischievous plots.

Fortunately, Potions with Vicar was next and he could think up the proper words to keep McGonagall at bay in the meantime.

In the dungeon, James was surrounded by a group of over sympathetic girls, brewing his potion for him, as they listened intently to his pitiful tale of longing for Lily.

"She's such a sweet girl, and I know she'd never do anything hateful, but this neglect! Oh, I feel faint!" James brought his hand dramatically to his heart and lolled his eyes.

"Give him air girls, give him air!" squealed Judith Stebbins, fanning him quite uselessly with her quill.

Two cauldrons off, Lily was watching with a curious eye. Sirius was her partner, he was taking the place of Elise Collier who had been ill that past few days. After that night she had found him in the common room, Sirius had always made a point of being kindly to her, and avoided calling her Little Miss Ugly. Yet his feelings for her hadn't blossomed any since then, mainly because the day after, when in class, Elise had returned to her old bespectacled self, drab bun and all. She was hardly as attractive as he had seen her that one night, and as the quickly as the winter frost, his feelings for her had melted away.

He now sat next to Evans, reclining his chair back on two legs, and watching her brew their potion with a bored, lofty expression.

"Might think of stirring it Evans, it's looking gloppy," he suggested.

He was waiting for her to reply with some snide remark about him doing it himself, but she failed to answer, her sights on James. She was sloshing the kettle spoon aimlessly in the potion, causing its contents to spill out over the side.

"Oh what's he at this time?" she grumbled.

Sirius' eyes widened at the purple liquid oozing out the side of the cauldron. "Evans, hey Evans! It's boiling over!" he jumped from his seat and pushed her aside, lowering the flamed beneath the cauldron.

"Could've scalded yourself!" he cried, but this still hardly seemed to faze Lily.

"Oh sorry, I... _Just what is Potter doing_?" she crossed her arms, greatly reminding Sirius of Mrs. Potter in a fit with James' behavior.

Sirius knew this was his moment. He tossed his hair back, hoping to catch her with his suave debonair. "Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?" she asked, stirring the potion so carelessly now, that it was spewing every which way (James was still distracting her sights).

"James nearly had a... erm, incident last night. I suppose they all want a first hand account of it."

Lily frowned, the potion was making a high-pitched hissing sound, but she didn't seem to notice. "I-incident? Oh, what kind?"

Sirius' eyes gleamed, thank God Lily was looking down now, for she might've suspected something was afoot, not that she didn't already. "Well I really don't know if I should say... but I guess I could tell you. See James has had this long time depression."

At these words alone, Lily had already raised a brow.

"No, no, really he has!" Sirius struggled to cover up. "Although, it's not so widely known. You do know how rejection really torments chaps, it's quite cruel the way girls are so heartless, but last night he was on one his worst downs. Remus and I had to stop him from ending his life!" He was a very good liar, and for a moment Lily almost looked convinced.

She blinked, and considered a moment. Sirius was sure he had her, but...

"I don't believe it," said Lily, stirring the potion more violently. Surely Professor Vicar would notice soon.

Sirius shrugged, and played things cool. "Suit yourself Evans, but Prongs is fit to die if you don't..."

Lily's almond eyes narrowed. "If I don't what?" she snapped.

"I never said anything. You just do what your conscience tells you," he said, hinting. "Oh and by the way, have you been missing a snitch?"

The cauldron screeched and bubbled like Lily's temper, both exploded at the same moment.

"Will you ever stop with that!"

Three seconds later she was covered in sizzling purple liquid that was fast wearing away at her robes. Luckily she had shielded her head from the blast, saving her red coif, and Professor Vicar had awoken just at the proper moment to salvage the rest of her clothes.

Sirius was in rare form, claiming full responsibility for the accident, but Lily still found a way to blame it on James, claiming he'd distracted her. She left the class in a huff, her robes holey and scorched, swishing behind her.

Sirius couldn't help but feel he'd somehow ruined it for Prongs, but the ounce of conscience within him melted away at the sight of Stella Sinistra along the corridor after luncheon. He had heard from a reliable source that she and Regulus had "broken up" recently, and that she was a free woman. To Sirius, that thought pleased him more than that of his own reflection. He of course, had to stop and comfort her, with only noble deeds intended (cough, cough).

He could have been a bit more tactful in his opening sentence though.

"Did Regulus scare you away?"

The color in Stella's cheeks drained as she turned to look at him. "What do you want?" She didn't exactly spit it out, but he could tell she was angry just the same.

"You're love and affection. C'mon and go out with me, you're only torturing yourself. How many times will I have to ask you?"

The way she smiled made Sirius feel like he'd already won. She started giggling and exchanging looks between her friends. Sirius could have kissed her. He'd won, he knew it! But, the way Sirius' luck had been going lately, something was bound to happen, and it did.

"I'm going out with Pettigrew, I really thought he would have told you."

Now Sirius felt suicidal. He wanted to throw something, and if Peter had been there, he would have been it. The words didn't come so easily, and Sirius had to clear his throat several times before he could speak properly.

"Will you ever get it right Sinistra?" he managed hoarsely. "Sissy boys and then porky pigs." He couldn't help it, even if Peter was his friend. Stella was out of Wormtail's league, and this was perverse, and dreadfully unfair! "You have no taste, _still trying to prove a point_?"

Stella didn't reply so smoothly herself. "He's- he's a sweet boy and you have no right... no right Sirius to call him that! I can't believe you say he's your friend. I see how you treat him, it makes me sick. Someone should treat him right!"

"And that'd be you wouldn't it?" Sirius sneered.

"Yes, that'd be me! He's a human being, you know, not some rat!"

"You might be surprised," growled Sirius.

He had hoped some simple flirting would have gained him Sinsitra, but he was beat by Wormtail, _Wormtail_! What was the world coming too? What happened to his ever so steady female following? For once in his life, Sirius Black was losing his confidence. He would not leave with out the last word though.

"Please don't be old and thirty by the time you decide to come back to me. I just might not be interested then."

He let that sink in long enough, and strut off down the corridor, pinching Blaire Jennings on the way.

The Halloween feast must have been over, because students were walking back to their dormitories, with the look of someone who'd stuffed in and was about ready to spew out. James had been unabashedly glutton and was now paying for it, as he clutched his stomach, groaning, but managing to keep up a conversation with Sirius at the same time.

The boys had reached the portrait of the fat lady, but didn't bother to enter quite yet (in honesty, Sirius had forgotten the password again, he never really did pay attention to those kind of things).

"Padfoot you cold hearted dog!" James exclaimed.

"I know, I know, but what if it had been you? What if your best chap took Evans from you, even before you had a chance?" Sirius held his face in one hand, exasperation in his voice.

James' eyes glinted with momentary fear. "You wouldn't do that would you?"

"No, of course not. It's just an example. But you'd be... _furious_, I know you would!"

James looked warily down the corridor and whispered, "Yes, but Sirius this is Peter we're talking about."

"I know, and don't think I'm not sorry about it, it's plenty regrettable! Self-control is a virtue I lack, as you know. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same."

"Tonight's a full moon, we can't have bitter feelings on a full moon. You might lose it and eat him or something!" James had intended to be serious, but suddenly realized the humor of it.

"Moony more likely," grinned Sirius.

They had thought they were alone, until a voice from behind commented, "You're having the most peculiar conversation, I must say!"

Sirius didn't even have to look. He balled his fists and groaned with clenched teeth, "McGavott!" He was tempted to scare her off with the old "I know what you look like naked", but thought better of it, he didn't need to dig his grave deeper. Oh and too, she knew the password as well.

No one seemed to notice the fat lady, watching the group impatiently. She could wait no longer. "Are you all going to hang about here all night, or can I go to sleep now!"

"Oh, sorry. _Pumpkin batter,_" said Mackenzie.

The entrance hole swung open, and the threesome climbed through.

Sirius wrinkled his nose, "_Pumpkin Batter_? Last I heard, it was _scourgefy_."

"Perhaps the first week of school," sighed Mackenzie, settling herself in a fireside chair. Sirius and James exchanged looks, they really didn't want her around.

"Oh and have you seem Remus, he disappeared after Magical Creatures?" she asked dreamily, flipping through the pages of _Young Witch Weekly_.

"Urgent call to his mum. She's ill, he must've told you," said James, he himself a smooth liar.

"Oh yes he-he did say something..."

James' eyes alighted, remembering something. From his pocket, he wedged out the golden snitch Peter had found in the girls dormitory a month before. It was altered now, though. Not only was there a jagged JP, but an elegant LE (James really did have fine penmanship when he wanted to), circled in what he had intended to be a heart, but rather lacked the artist's hand.

"Hey McGavott?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you mind giving this to Evans the next time you see her?" James asked as politely as he could manage, handing her the snitch. He had quite a way of ordering people around, and asking a favor was something that usually exceeded his boundaries.

McGavott looked at it pensively for a moment, and then handed it back. "I'm sorry, but I don't really think I could. She'd never accept it... sorry, that's just Lily. Don't expect me to understand her."

James hid his disappointment with a grin, but could not hide it in his voice. "Well thanks anyway. I'll find another way to get it to her."

James turned from McGavott, looked at Sirius and shrugged. "I'll do it later, you know, tonight."

Sirius' eyes widened incredulously. "You're not planning to go up the stairs?"

"Ssh! No, the window."

Darkness fell, Remus' felt a whirl and then a lurch in his stomach. Where was he now? Blinking wildly, he made out a tiny gold ball, bobbling ahead in the distance. Remus remembered and it all became clear...

James watched the snitch's sorry little wings flutter through the open window to the girl's dormitory. If Lily didn't accept it now, he didn't know what he would do. Suicide was always an option, he thought morosely. The idea to gallivant bravely through the girl's window as a stag had been _nixed _on the first suggestion. The alternative had been to float the snitch up, incognito.

Sirius tugged at his arm, reminding him that they had to leave. The three of them (Peter included, who was already in rat form, in Sirius' pocket) were huddled under the invisibility cloak.

"Oh Evans," James groaned to himself. "Please don't hate me this time." With one last look, and another tug form Sirius, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs scurried into the trees, where they became stag, rat and dog.

It was indeed morphing into a spooky night. The sun had set early, replaced by a moon so full, such a haunting pure white, it could have been the pupiless eye of night, watching the Marauder's every move. For Moony, it was his oppressor, but on night's like these, when mischief was managed, fear was forgotten.

Leaves were blown high in a howling wind, arching across the sky, past the moon. A ways down the hill, slopping and winding, sat the whomping willow, it's monstrous branches swaying eerily with the breeze.

For a brief moment, the wind ceased and the Marauders knew it was now or never. Speeding blurs, a rat jettisoned itself at the knot on the tree's lower root, a stag and dog slid down under, and in and instant, they had disappeared.

Remus followed after, that dreamlike sensation of the past buzzing through his every limb. What he feared was coming. Should he leave now? Should he end this dreadful memory when he had the chance? He gave into curiosity yet again...

In a fairly furnished room moaned a lone werewolf, gazing dimly at the moonlight through a crack in the shutters. He growled savagely at the crunch of gravel down the hall, and snapped its jaws threateningly. Red, incensed eyes lessened to black orbs at the sight of the great black dog, and the stag. Moony wagged his tail and bounced on his heels, and howled to the moon just because he could, because he knew he was the king of the world now.

The night passed too quickly for Remus' liking. The stag and dog had led Moony on an excursion through Hogsmeade, up the cliffs to the east, and back to the grounds, where they hoped to end the night with a bang.

The lake looked placid now, the grounds had lost their sinister appeal. The clouds had even cleared the sky, leaving everything as crisp and bright as if it were midday. It had to be one or two in the morning at the least, and no matter how the Marauders chose to deny it, they were winded.

It happened when they were traipsing back to the willow. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius thought he saw a figure, a female figure. It was crouched at the lakeside, holding it's face in its hands, it's shoulders shaking violently, in what Sirius could only assume were tears. He didn't have long enough to think.

Remus gulped, and felt his heart jump to his throat. He should never have come back to this.

There came a blood-curdling scream. The werewolf at Sirius' side had switched. No longer cowering at the side of the stag, but lone and wild ahead, but feet from the lakeside figure. There was screaming in Sirius' head, ringing in his ears. It was going to happen, how could he let it happen! He watched as if in slow motion, his world came to a stop. _Remus_! The wolf bore it's teeth, and snapped, salivating grotesquely, growling vicious and savage. It was all a blur. One moment the wolf was lunging for the figure, and the next, a black dog was hurtling itself at the beast, knocking it unconscious to the floor. Sirius didn't even realize what he had done, until he viewed Moony, blood splattered at his feet.

He came back to earth upon hearing a voice screamed again. He had done it, she was dead, his heart told him it was his fault and she was dead. Relief flooded him, when he saw her stir and bring herself up onto her knees.

The deepest pit of regret mounted in Sirius' stomach, and somehow he felt it was Stella. He had not seen her face, but he knew it was her. The girl was rasping for breath, moaning at her knees. Sirius was human again. Instinct took him, Padfoot took her up in his arms, feeling her heavy heated breath against his neck. He tilted her chin up gently with his thumbs, his heart ready nearly to burst out of his chest, hoping to meet liquid black eyes. But... oddly, he met those of light brown. The girl lifted her head... It was Elise!

She was shaking. "_Oh my God, Sirius_!" she gasped under her breath.

Remus was in shock, and he could bear it no more. So slowly closed the diary, a horrible remorse pitted inside. He had discovered a secret that belonged to Sirius, that should have been kept to Sirius. The werewolf had been a monster, was a monster, and as Remus turned and looked out the window of that tiny loft in Grimmauld Place, his heart cried. A full moon was rising.

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_**Comments from the Nagging Author:** Everyone, I wish I could name you all, I'd certainly luv too, but it seems there are so many. Chapter 12 really flowed in lots of response and I hope Chap 13 continues this way.__ Tell me your thoughts on this chap. Kisses everyone. _

_**Another note: S**__orry about the treatment of Peter in this fic, can you tell I don't like him? Well, I hope to change things soon, and make him seem human. Oh and everyone check out mugglenet fanfiction, it's a much more selective site and in a way a Harry Potter haven. Until next time, which I promise will be within the next nine to ten days (max), and you can send me death threats if I do not perform. Luv you all so much. –Amalynne (the weirder than weird) O'hara. _


	14. The Aftermath

N/A: I've had some complaints about the length of my fic, and that it's gotten somewhat confusing. I hope to rectify both those problems in this chap. First let me clear up that Sirius' diary entries are labeled with the date of occurrence and his words are in italics. Remus' thoughts and perceptions are in regular text. He sees Sirius' memory. Just clarifying. Now when we left off last the ending was a bit irregular as well. Remus nearly attacked Elise Collier and Elise viewed Sirius morph out of his animagus form... we continue from there. Sorry about the mix up, I wanted to pop out a chapter so fast I suppose I didn't think. 4give me sigh. –Amalynne

**Oh and it's time for another tiny warning: **_I believe this chapter should be rated Pg-13 because of some of it's content, nothing earth shaking, just a few bits of language and some of Sirius' thoughts. I hate to make another angsty chapter, actually I find this one a little more angsty than the last, but you'll live through it. Happier times are on the way, hee hee. Here you are… _

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Remus sulked for a good hour before he gathered up the courage to pick up the diary again. He remembered quite clearly the events of October 31st of his sixth year, when his fellow Marauders had seen the monster in him, portrayed at it's worst. He had come close to killing Elise, and what had frightened him the most, was that he had wanted to. He'd wanted tear and rip and hear the screams. He'd wanted to see suffering, he'd wanted a soul to suffer as he had. To inflict pain would have relieved his werewolf heart… so many times he had wished others to endure what he had endured, to experience the pains and heartaches for themselves, before they judged… it was only fair.

Remus had felt this blazing anger that night, and without thinking, without being able to think, he attacked. Sirius had come between Remus and his prey, and for a moment, Remus had hated the black dog more than any soul alive. Sirius' grayest of blue eyes had met Remus' own, and they blazed without pity… they were the last thing Moony saw before he passed out.

He had awoken the next morning in the hospital wing, with James at his side and Peter snoozing at the foot of the bed. It didn't take more than a moment for him to realize what had happened, to realize that he had been tethered to the bed, and that James' arm was wrapped in dressings. A stream of tears began to fall down Remus' cheeks, horrified that he had such a nature.

That morning in the hospital wing, Remus had wanted so badly for Sirius to be there. He had wanted so deeply to say he was sorry and face the one that had foiled his plans, but mostly, to look into the eyes that had shown so much anger and see if they bore mercy.

He had feared Padfoot would never forgive him. Exposing the Marauders secret and his own was just as bad as murder in his opinion. Padfoot and Prongs had altered his world. Without them school was a bore, Moony was nothing, and life… well, life would be pointless. But Remus discovered how little he really knew about Sirius… he discovered it twenty years after the fact, in the little weathered diary on his lap.

**November 1st, 1975:**

It wasn't night, but it wasn't morning either. Two sat alone in the common room, a fire ablaze in the hearth, a soft orange glow and comforting warmth present. They sat facing each other, looking so small in grossly over padded armchairs, each silent with a kind of fearful apprehension.

Elise was bundled in a blanket, a cup of tea steaming in her hands. She still looked peaky, but the color was filtering back into her cheeks. Her eyes still held the look of someone who'd been crying for quite some time, puffy and a tinge red.

Sirius sat opposite her. His hair was slightly askew, tie hung over the back of his chair, and his collar was up, shirt unbuttoned loosely. He drew his head away from his hands, and brought his eyes to Elise, managing a weak smile.

"Feeling any better?" he asked softly.

Elise looked down, unable to meet his eyes. "A bit" she murmured.

"Oh," came Sirius' voice, faraway, barely there or anywhere.

At his feet lay James' invisibility cloak. Remus reckoned Sirius had used it to creep back to the common room. It only added to the oddity of the scene. Sirius Black, the haughty, handsome pureblood, making nice with the drab little muggleborn Elise Collier, two who were never to be seen in the same company. In normal circumstances, conversing with Elise would have been something of a social suicide for Sirius, but now image mattered very little.

For once, the mudblood held the fate of the pureblood… Elise could ruin Sirius now with all but a word. She had seen the dog turn to boy, and witnessed the werewolf slowly transform into Remus as the cloud cover blocked the moonlight. She had witnessed and unearthed the Marauders greatest secret. It was all Sirius could do from blasting her memory away, as it would have been easier. Yet James had been against the idea, so now Sirius was left in the common room with poor Elise, thinking how best to rid himself of this problem.

She would tell for sure, his insides cried. After all, how could a girl who he used to call "Little Miss Ugly" forgive him and keep mum. It was a near impossible thought in his mind. Elise had hated Sirius since first year. She hated Sirius the way Lily hated James, and now as Sirius gazed into the abyss, regretting every ill natured thing he'd ever done in life, he saw no way out. Was this his time? Was it the ever-feared time of just deserves? Elise would blab because he had been a heartless bastard, and now he and his friends would pay for his cruelty.

Just as Sirius was feeling as bad as Satan himself, Elise's voice came timidly from the opposite chair.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah…"

"How did you do it?"

Sirius' eyes flashed up. "Do what?"

The teacup in her hands rattled against its saucer as she spoke. "I've been wanting to know for so long, but they said it was very difficult and I… did you ask McGonagall, did she tell you how? I mean… I'd just always wanted to know how to become one. Uh… I mean, oh I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." Elise ended sadly.

Sirius doubted very much that she hadn't been thinking. Girls like that were always supposed to be on their toes, it just came with the territory. If you had glasses, you should know it all, or so Sirius thought. The rest of her words had not been at all what Sirius was expecting, it shocked him a little too much. Girls like that weren't supposed to care about animagus and those sorts of things. After all, Sirius was the authority in the area. He knew girls like the back of his hand… or he thought he did.

"No you shouldn't be sorry." He said quickly. "It's all- it's all really my fault."

There was another long moment of silence between them. Sirius would have given anything to be _anywhere else_, to be _anyone else_. Anything was better than the torture of silence and his own conscience. But then he remembered James in the hospital wing and decided he was somewhat better off.

James had rushed to Moony's side the moment Sirius knocked him out. Moony responded to James tending, fitfully, lashing and snapping, inflicting a ghastly wound to James' right arm and side. Sirius had then mustered the gusto to stupefy the werewolf, sending Moony rigid as a board. Not a moment after, the clouds had drifted to cover the moon, revealing a pale, sallow young Remus.

Sirius could hear James' words screaming in his head, it was not something he could not put behind him, could never put behind him. He had never seen Prongs is such a state.

"Get her out of here, Sirius!" James had cried, pushing Sirius off him. The deep, bleeding gash on James' arm had caused Sirius to rush to his side, but James didn't want help. "Get her out of here, I said! Don't stand there looking so stupid, do what I said!" Panic, and the fear in James' voice had set Sirius cold, an icy chill trickling through him.

Sirius' words flew from his mouth like they were barely his own. "But Remus… what about Remus! My God James, you can't just leave him here!"

"I'll take him back!" James gasped, clutching his arm, his eyes watering with pain.

"Like hell you will!" Sirius had bellowed back.

"Just- just do it!" James words gave it finality and Sirius knew he could not contradict.

A light flickered on from the castle entryway.

"That'll be McGonagall, now take this!"

Sirius caught the invisibility cloak and flung it over himself and Elise just in time to miss McGonagall's sight. The journey back to the common room had been dreamlike and surreal, so swift and strange, all the while with Moony on his mind.

Sirius' thoughts were shifted back to the present, as Elise's voice sounded.

"Is- is he okay, your werewolf friend?" _It was almost as if she had been reading his mind. _

Sirius looked up. Elise's face held a soft concerned expression. So she was going to play nicely? Sirius had noticed that she had said, "your werewolf friend," and not _Remus_. Perhaps this meant that she planned to keep quiet. Either way, Sirius was filled with relief and smiled.

"Yes, he'll be all right."

Elise nodded and then bit her lip. "I wont tell anyone, you know." She vowed in nearly a whisper.

Sirius' heart stopped. "_You wont_?" he caught himself exclaiming.

Elise grinned a bit broader at the surprise in his tone. "No I wont." She said.

Sirius had trouble believing his own ears and posed her the question, "_Why_?"

"You see because…" she looked as if she was thinking deeply on it, but decided not to reply.

"Because why?" he repeated again.

"Oh nothing." Elise smiled to herself, bringing the tea to her lips in a pursed sip. "I suppose it's very fun then, doing what you want, when you want. I must say, you're much more intelligent than I thought you were."

It was an awkward complement, but Sirius was thankful just the same. The tight knot in his throat was lessening now…just hearing Elise's voice and the calmness of her tone began to soothe him, and so he listened on, smiling slightly as she questioned him with a childlike curiosity of his adventures. She was so polite in the way she went about it, and so soft-spoken in her words, but ever so witty and Sirius couldn't help but find her entertaining.

He was seeing Elise as he had never seen her before, charming and bubbly, yet somehow gracefully managing dignity as well. Amongst the painful thoughts of Moony and his Marauders, Sirius felt a spark of admiration for this girl who didn't hate him when he had been so cruel, a girl who came out of a werewolf attack recovering so swiftly with laughter.

"It explains a lot." She giggled, when Sirius humored her with an explanation of his nickname, _Padfoot_.

Sirius felt something in his stomach bubble when Elise giggled, tickling his insides to happiness. It was a kind of happiness he could not put his finger on… he wasn't even sure it was happiness, but it was the strangest sensation and he found it very catching. He had expected to be the comforter this night, but instead played the role of the comforted, Elise settling him in the oddest way. He almost felt guilty. After all, it had been she who had nearly been attacked and not he.

It didn't seem like the proper moment to yearn for carnal pleasures, but the way Elise was sitting before Sirius now, smiling, giddy and jovial, her hair windblown and rugged, spectacles abandoned… Sirius was beginning to drift towards attraction. In fact, now he was infatuated. It was easy to forget Moony and the lads when such a lovely girl was sitting there tickling his fancies.

His first thought had been, "_How do you persuade a girl like that into bed with you?_" And then his spirits soared, remembering his dorm was empty that night, then he fell back down to earth, realizing Elise probably wasn't enough of a sucker to sleep with him. A devious little voice in the back of his mind said, "_Kissing her a good long while would be just as good_," and then another voice said "_No, go in for the kill!_"

Sirius had an evil conscience and it was making him very confused. It shown by the blank expression on his face, and he discovered his eyes were fixed on Elise's… Well, he was very embarrassed anyway.

"Sirius, maybe you should turn in." Said Elise sternly, when she realized where Sirius was looking. She brought the blankets protectively around her, putting an end to Sirius' goggle fest.

"Huh?' he blinked.

"It's three thirty now, perhaps you should go to bed… I know you're worried… it might be best if you put up in the hospital wing for the night, to make sure you're well."

The mention of the hospital wing reminded Sirius of who lay there in a cot, tethered and moaning, and the sparkle of romanticism that had flickered bright but a moment before was extinguished.

"I'm not sleeping tonight Collier, it's just not possible." He held his face in his hands. He heard her rise and come to his side.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and crooned, "Well you're not the only one… Sirius, if you think I'd ever say anythingI _never_ will, I promise you!"

Sirius brought his hands from his face, wearied eyes entranced by the firelight. She could promise to keep his secret, and Moony's as well, but what were promises to Sirius Black. Sirius Black was all for his own, only compelled to goodness by guilt, believing only in himself, trusting only himself. What trust could you put in others, others deceived and disappointed. His Marauders, all he could trust were his Marauders. Dimly, he recalled Moony and James… he couldn't leave his life's secret and happiness to a girl he hardly knew.

"_You'll do more than promise!_" he croaked, leaping from his chair. "I'll have you swear it before you think to skip off!"

With a powerful kind of rage, his wand flew from the floor to his hand, and he pointed it threateningly at Elise.

She took a step back in fearful surprise. "Sirius, I- "

"Give me your hand!" he ordered.

Elise drew back. "Why?"

"Just give it to me!"

She thought to extend her hand, but Sirius snatched it, bringing his wand to her fingertips.

"What are you doing!" she gasped.

"Forcing you to keep your promise!"

"How exactly?" Elise struggled to pull away, but she found herself captive to arms stronger than her own. In any other circumstance she might have felt giddy, but now she was fearful of this vicious temper.

"It's a nice little trick I learned at home. I never thought I'd need it… wicked bastard, my father, but at least his lessons were good for something!"

Sirius had never used dark magic, but now he could risk it, for the sake of his friends. But, what would James say? James hated the dark arts. This isn't the dark arts, Sirius told himself, this is for good cause. His insides rang with guilt, but a part of him was convinced it was justified.

He uttered it, and a cool green light emitted from his wand, entrapping Elise's wrist with a shackle. The top of her hand was split, blood ran in a fine line down her arm, tracing the words… _Elise Renaud Collier_. The shackle, glowing green began to fade, and the cut atop her hand slowly sealed itself up, leaving no traces of it ever being there. She had held her breath for the longest moment, horror filled, worse than when she had seen the werewolf. The air breathed evil, and now Sirius felt the chill himself.

"What does that mean!" Elise shrieked, "What have you done?"

Perhaps it was remorse that tired him so, perhaps it was the realization that he had done no better than his own father, but he backed away, white faced at the stairwell to the boys dormitory. He couldn't answer her. A cold sweat was beading on his forehead, _what had he done?_

"_Sirius_!" Elise called at him again.

Just barely keeping himself up by the stair railings, Sirius' chest hurt with the pounding of his heart. He hated how innocent Elise appeared, how she stared at him so lost and confused, so much purer of heart than he. It was something he hated and admired. It only made the gravity of what he had done worse.

"If you say anything Collier, you wont ever wake up in the morning." He had tried to put it as delicately as possible, suitable for his conscience. To come right out and admit that her life depended on her ability to keep mum was a tad too harsh for Sirius.

"I told you I wouldn't!" The redness around her eyes was beginning to return, and her lashes started to gloss.

"It's a precaution."

"I'm not sure James would approve…" she said this full knowing it would tug at Sirius.

"I don't care what the hell James would approve of… (_Oh but he did, he most certainly did_)… this isn't about him, it's about Remus! If you hadn't gotten yourself into this, I never would have had to- " Sirius couldn't bring himself to say it.

"I didn't ask for this, you think I would- "

"What were you doing out there anyway?" Sirius snapped.

Elise froze, her eyes widened and traveled back to the floor in something that looked like shame. "That's my business, really." She muttered.

"_Your business_, Collier I can't believe this! You're going to tell me what the hell you were doing out there!"

"You wouldn't understand." She began to tear. "No one ever does when I tell them… and-and I'm not telling _you_! Least of all you, who thinks I'm _ugly_ and _worthless_, and-and mealy!"

Despite Elise's efforts to make Sirius feel guilty, he was adamant to have his way. He could never seem to see anything, when he wanted his way. "You'll stay here all night until you tell me!"

"Sirius- " Elise pleaded.

He had heard his named whined in that manner so many times that night that he could have screamed. He glared, even a little surprised at what his own temper could lead him to do. He made a movement for his wand again, and Elise flinched. This was what finally made her give in.

"Well," she gulped. "Well fine, if you really want to know… I was talking to someone."

Sirius made a face. "_Who_?"

Elise's voice shook and her eyes gleamed dewy with tears. "F-faces in the water." That was all Sirius could make out of her garble, and it left him puzzled.

Remus could hardly believe what he was seeing and hearing. Ignorance was truly bliss, and he discovered it even painfully more so, as the common room faded into a corridor, with James and Sirius strutting kingly past.

One of the great advantages about being outside a memory was the ability to eavesdrop. Remus had mastered the technique quite well now indeed.

"She sounds a little off her rocker." Said James. "Maybe we should have blasted her memory."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, but when she told me it was her mum she was talking to I…"

"_Her mum?_ Oh Padfoot, that makes perfect sense, her mum's the giant squid isn't she?" James grinned mockingly.

Sirius didn't laugh, and Prongs was put out. "Mouth glued with spello-tape?" he asked, frowning.

"No James… her mum is dead, and her dad too."

"Oh. Collier, really? Well that's…" James did know what it was. "She's muggleborn isn't she?" he blurted.

"Yes… and I don't think she's mad exactly, just a bit hysterical… crushed, I think. Can you imagine talking to someone who's dead? I suppose you'd miss them so much you might…" Sirius caught himself entering into a deep thought, too deep for his taste.

James smirked. "What were you saying Padfoot?"

"It's grief, I s'pose." Sirius said quickly. "Oh I don't know, maybe she is mad."

"Sick with grief… understandable." James pondered thoughtfully.

A group of girls were passing down the hall, and immediately James and Sirius ceased their conversation, sporting smug looks of surliness.

There was a bit of a quarrel going on between them. Two girls were struggling for the possession of a large black camera. It was a catfight at it's worst.

"Hey give it back! He said I could take his picture!" cried a little blonde third year.

"I never heard him say that?" retorted a petit raven-haired girl, she was a fifth year in Ravenclaw and Sirius remembered her vaguely from a quidditch match the year before. He remembered her mainly because he had walked in on her changing. The war raged on…

"Well he just as good as said it!"

"Very interesting how one can interpret another's words!"

"He said '_vitality only last 'till your thirties, look away, ladies_.' That's as good as yes to me!" The blonde haired third year wrenched the camera out of her companion's hands and flashed it wildly in the direction of Sirius and James.

"Oy! Blinding!" groaned James, but lived up to his image and strained a smiled at the camera.

The flashing ceased, but the girl kept on clicking, hopeful that there just might be film left, it was however a false hope, and the dark haired Ravenclaw she had been quarreling with before, yanked it from her. Sirius was grateful to her and winked.

"Morning, Amalynne."

The girl blushed wildly and sighed to herself dreamily, "_Wow_… he remembered my name."

James and Sirius passed on, returning to their previous conversation.

"She wasn't ill either, Collier wasn't. It's what Evans had been saying. She was… she was at their funeral. Her father's actually. She said, her mothers been gone a while."

"He passed that recently?" James asked concernedly, he understood how little of a joking matter this all was now.

"A week today, she said… an attack."

James halted in place. "Death Eat- " he began.

"Yeah, well it doesn't matter James."

They had reached the door to the hospital wing. James stalled before they embarked any further.

"Now… I might want to warn you, he's a little sensitive. Well, you'll see in a minute." He sighed, and pushed opened the great double doors to the wing.

Moony lay gazing aimlessly out his bedside window, when James and Sirius entered. He smiled meekly at the sight of them, and brought the sheets up around him more, trying to hide the long white dressing wrapped around his middle.

"Morning." He said.

"Ay, mate. I can see you downed that bit of butterbeer I snagged for you." James grinned, retrieving an empty bottle from the floor.

Sirius shifted his hands to his pockets. He felt guilty now at not having stayed with Moony, for running, in a way.

"Hey… how's Pompfrey treating you?" he asked.

Moony smiled bleakly. "Tolerable."

"You'll be out of here in less than a week, we'll bring McGavott to see you, don't worry mate." Sirius consoled.

"McGavott…" Remus said her name as if he barely knew she existed, uttering it carelessly. "I've lost Mackenzie. She'll know, everyone will after what Collier saw."

"That's fixed Remus." Said Sirius quickly.

"You modified her mem- " Moony started hopefully.

"Yes." James lied, giving Sirius a quick look. "Padfoot knows how to use a wand, Collier doesn't remember a thing."

This lessened the weight on Moony's heart, and a hint of color filled his cheeks.

_James had lied! Remus stood infuriated watching the memory. Oh how naive he had been! He felt foolish, and somehow… betrayed, even if James did have good reason. Ignorance was bliss, Remus could testify whole -heartedly to it. _

"You know Remus, I think you're looking better." Commented Sirius, before anymore could be said about McGavott.

A dark look cast across Moony's face. "Oh shut up, you know I look like shit!" It was a sudden burst, and he looked mighty ashamed of himself after he said it, drooping his eye lids as mumbled an apology. "I-I'm sorry… I didn't mean it, I'm just…"

"No worries mate, we understand." Came Sirius' voice soft with sympathy. "This'll all be over soon enough, like it never happened."

"Yeah, you can say that, but it wont be. It never is." Moony started to crack.

"Oh you're just in a gloom." Offered James.

"Well I've been in an _f_―_ing_ gloom my whole damn life, you think I've gotten over it!" snarled Moony.

James tried to reason with him. "You can't let this get you down."

"Can't I?" Moony struggled to flail his arms in their bandages. "Very easy for you all to _shrug it off_!"

"We've never shrugged it off Remus, we've never meant to." Padfoot uttered in a low tone.

"You didn't get any sleep, you're bound to say things you don't mean when you're tired… we should have let you rest a while longer." James tried to say calmly.

"So you're saying I'm being an asshole!" Moony ranted jerkily.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Whoa Remus! What are they drugging you with, stay off the swear words, it's so unlike you. That's supposed to be my area."

James crossed his arms and frowned at Moony. "But yes, to put it delicately, you're being an asshole, so we'll come back once you've had some shut eye."

"I can't sleep with that nasty junk she's been giving me! It leaves an awful taste in my mouth, and when I shut my eyes I get twitchy!" Moony pointed to a bottle on his bedside nightstand, which read the words, _Fouler Power_.

Sirius picked it up and read the back. "_Fouler Power, miraculously heals all open wounds and sores from a collection of foul occurrences. Works in just hours… _Hmm, _Rules for distribution: Take two tablespoons by mouth every quarter hour. For best results, do not down with water._" Sirius made a face and continued. "_May leave rancid after taste… possible side affects may include drowsiness, uncontrollable usage of profane language _Well that explains the swearing!_sarcasm, foul thoughts, etc. The side affects vary in, _bla bla bla… _do not fly until three hours after intake, although flying is not suggested_"

"Okay Padfoot, we get the jest of it." Interrupted James.

"Well, it's thirty percent alcohol." Sirius smiled crookedly. "That's the only good thing I can find about it."

"I think Madame Pompfrey fancies you Remus. Look how cleverly she tries to get you drunk." James joked, taking the bottle from Sirius.

Remus managed to laugh along, but soon his smile drifted away, and his eyes traveled to the window, where the morning sunshine shown through.

He sighed greatly, and croaked, "You have a match today… I hope you didn't forget."

"Oh… yeah." James and Sirius murmured responses of equal surprise. They had indeed forgotten.

"Catch a snitch for me will you?"

"I'll let Thomas catch it for you." James smiled. "I've been reassigned to chaser."

"Chaser!" Moony blurted.

"It just works better that way." James bobbed his shoulders in a simple shrug.

Moony narrowed his eyes and looked back out the window. "Well win it will you, something has to go right for once!"

Remus had never seen such sloppy penmanship in all his life. Sirius' scrawl blotched across the page smeary and half eligible. Water rings and droplets of something that looked like candle wax were scattered about, and Remus had to hold the diary back just to make out the first sentence. He soon corrected it all with a simple cleaning charm, his mother had often used it for stain marked crockery, but that's really beside the point.

_I didn't think chasers could catch snitches, but then there's James who has to be everywhere and everyone at once, so I guess he's the exception. I suppose it doesn't matter who catches the ruddy ball, as long as it's caught. It was for Remus, what can I say?_

_I want to be happy that we won, but somehow I can't be. Last night is still wallowing about in my head, and Collier keeps popping up at the strangest of times too. _

_Should I start off by saying I hate God? Or should I say I don't believe in God at all… I don't think there's anyone to believe in but myself at this point. Faith is folly… oh but that's not good either. How can I have so many damn thoughts at once, it's maddening!_

_Remus will recover and that's all fine, but then it isn't at the same time. You can mend a break, or heal a wound, but there's always a scar left, even if you can't always see it on the outside. Remus has had so many, I'm not sure how he holds up. He hates how life's going, why doesn't he just scream it out? We all want to do it for him! I can't think of the amount of times I've just wanted to fix everything. That's why I hate God, I think. He never lets you fix anything! You have to follow it out, watch things drag on and can't have here** and **now, and what you want, there's always strings attached. I think I'll probably spend my whole life trying to free myself from those strings… whatever it takes. _

_Damn! Look at me, I'm getting philosophical, see! If ever I needed a bottle of firewhiskey, it's now. Oy, and then there's Collier again! Things would have been so much easier if she'd just pounced at me and snogged. To hell with her morals, I need something, and night sprawling is it! Oh, but then there's my head which is pounding. I'm probably crazy and don't mean a word I'm writing. Sirius Black is pissed, Sirius Black wants out, Sirius Black is venting, forgive Sirius Black. For the hundredth time, who am I talking to? No one's ever going to read this, or I hope no one reads this. _

Remus felt bad again, but he remembered the little lie James and Sirius had told Moony in the hospital wing, and decided that this made things fair.

_You know, now when I hear the name Collier, I'll just naturally feel bad or guilty. That girl's a walking conscience, Jiminy Cricket life size. It's almost as if she bangs me over the top of my head with her halo of good grace, although it's not good grace, its more like eternal wrath. Morals, God that girl has issues. Besides the" moral issues", I'm running out of things hate her for. I mean, now that I know her, I can't really dislike her… she's contagious. _

_Faces in the water… I'm glad she explained that little bit, or I really would have thought she was crazy. She didn't want to tell me, but I made her. I forced her to sit down and tell me. I cried when she told me, although that's something I hate to admit. She explained how her mum passed during her first year, how no one ever understood her like her mum. _

_I tend to cringe at the thought of me bearing my soul to that banshee woman that's only biologically my mother, but I guess other people's parents are better. James might talk to his dad, but still… that's so weird to me. _

_But anyway, Elise missed the talking, she said. So she would imagine her mum there with her… loony, I know, but she was what? Ten, eleven when it happened? Kids do weird things, and maybe she just kept up the talking as habit. She doesn't do enough of it in class, that's for sure. She goes to the lake every so often and cries, remembers, and talks to her reflection like it were her mum. It's sad, it really is. _

_She must have been out there for that purpose, to cry, when we came around. Her father just died, it's understandable. James' guess was pretty much right on target. Death Eaters snuffed out old man Collier. I'd always thought their name was a bit corny, myself, "Death Eaters" it's just as bad as calling yourself "The Corn Fritters" or something odd like that. But I had no idea they were that psycho, not psycho enough to murder someone I know, however distantly. James' dad is right. The world is falling to the wackos, and the ministry just doesn't get it._

_When she finished telling me, something happened. I – well… see, she's not half bad and she seemed like she was coming around, so I… Spit it out Padfoot! Okay, so even after I was a bloody idiot and made her swear secrecy and all, I thought she might take interest in a peck, just a little peck on the check. Okay, I'll be dreadfully honest. I hoped she might want a good kissing. I've been known to be very brash and a little quick to trot, and I don't blame her at all for slapping me. What I found oddly peculiar though, was that she took about a whole two minutes to get around to it. It didn't last long enough for me to grade it, actually it was bloody smashing, but at first she was very… Well, I can't think on it too much. It wasn't anything and Collier will make sure it never happens again. She was scarlet when we finished and the look on her face made my stomach turn. It was complete disgust and it made me feel like I was worth less than a knut. She got up and said, "I can't like you Sirius," and left me feeling… well, I just hate the way she makes me feel! _

_Oh, maybe when I've figured out the mysteries of the universe, I'll get back to you. Maybe when Sirius Black has had a good case of liquor, he can respond more sanely. Last night and today were the weirdest of my life… freakiest is probably a better description. _

_So not much has happened. I've only just revealed myself as an animagus to a girl who completely loathes me, attempted to seduce her and failed, Remus is barricaded up in the hospital wing with that brawd Pompfrey, James is starting to pay for his little "Evans wooing" scheme, and guess what? It's raining! All is well in paradise, can't you tell? _

Heavy. Remus closed the diary with an overwhelming mix of thoughts filling his head. Sirius, Elise, James, Moony… full moon, hospital wing, kisses, cameras, bandages, _Fouler Power_, lavatory… well that was a side thought, but Remus realized how very difficult life was to interpret, even for a sixteen year old, better yet, a thirty eight year old.

Shackles, blood, cries, oaths… and then Remus recalled the dark magic conjured by Sirius. _For good cause? Was it really?_ The answers would have to wait for another time, the members for the Order would be arriving soon. The past was important, but the future was still at hand.

N/A: Since Amalynne is truly true to her name, O'hara. She has a tendency to procrastinate and put things off 'til tomorrow. For any of you who've ever read Gone with the Wind, I think you know what I'm talking about. So, because Amalynne is such a flake, I need my dear reviewers to do me a favor… REVIEW! LONG and A LOT, because it encourages me to write quicker. Luv you all dearly. –Ama

Ooh! And I have to thank **Miss Blue Angel** for taking the time to fish for more review for me, so so sweet of her.

Thanx to **Moonlight** who has kept me entertained with numerous random e-mails, I luv you Aussi!

**Ash**, who I luv to the ends of the earth, sis with the big guy in the sky!

**Jeff**, glad you actually liked this one… was it because Elise was nearly killed? You're very morbid you know. And for the last time, NO! I will not replace Hagrid with Chewbacca and I will not send Sirius to school in a B22 bomber so he can have a "Marauding Massacre" as you call it! Write your own fic! Actually that's a bad idea, don't write your own fic.

**Lilly4James**, sorry I couldn't keep this shorter, plz forgive me for my wordiness. ;)

**Erin Hatfeild**, yes McGavott is getting on my nerves too, and I created her. I'll need to find a good way to dispose of her soon… can't have Remus suffer with her all year now, can we?

I could go on forever responding to e-mails, but it would just take so long. I really appreciate you all, every single one of you…sorry if not mentioned. :)


	15. Marauding and Mistletoe

Disclaimer: JK Rowling can beat me with a stick if she wants to for using all her bloody wonderful stuff. I own nothing, you know the drill…

N/A: WHOA! I'M BACK! Can you believe it! I hardly can. This has to be the longest lull since July on this fic, again whoa. It's probably the longest chap too. I'm trying to avoid more than a 25 chaptered fic so I've been lengthening the chaps and such. So many ideas for this, I just might write a sequel and we can see what James is thinking next, hee hee. Well, _ahoy ye matees_!

Note: I feel the beginning is rather long and pointless, but read away if you wish… **AND ALL WHO READ THIS MUST REVIEW! YOU MUST! I BEG YOU, JUST A BLURB IF NOTHING, BUT REVIEW!** -thank you

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

As the summer waned on in Grimmauld Place, Remus could start to see things from Sirius' perspective. The house was dreary and besides one or two occasional visitors, a squawking hippogriff upstairs, and the discovery of a gnome colony lurking in the moss covered basement below (the only place Remus did not have the courage to clean), life was a pitiful bore.

Every mess he cleared away quickly reappeared, no progress could really be made, which brought a round of frustration upon Remus. His only real pleasure resided in Sirius' diary, which he took to carrying in the pocket of his robes, as a kind of savior when boredom reached its height. He was near tempted to pull it out during Snape's dull, lengthy report at the Order's last meeting. However, he refrained and struggled to keep a mild, slightly interested expression, attempting to suppress his envy as well.

Ever since Sirius' passing, Remus had taken his place as "headquarters monitor" for the Order (Remus thought of himself bitterly as the Order's sacred janitor), doing his best to keep his calm when Snape offered snide remarks about the "cleaning", as he had done to Sirius.

Although, one achievement that Remus was particularly proud of, was the silencing of Mrs. Black. He had taken a chance and wedged a piece of spell-o tape over her mouth, remembering how James used to silence the paintings on his nightly excursions. Remus marveled at simplicity of its genius and basked in this small glory throughout the rest of the day.

It was then after that he realized how pathetic circumstances really were for him. How could this have happened to _him_,_ Remus J. Lupin_? But then he thought about Harry and didn't feel quite so bad…

Remus skipped through most of Sirius' November entries, finding them distracted with thoughts and worries of Moony, laments concerning Sinistra, and various complaints about Filch. The Marauders had covered up Moony's stay in the hospital wing by saying it was merely a reaction to some mysterious Honeyduke's candy, but an odd rumor, spread by Mackenzie McGavott, floated around that Moony had had a frightening run with a centaur. This preposterous story was more widely received than the Marauder's sweetshop tale, which was better for Moony, since he gained oh so much more attention that way (Pompfrey had promised Moony merely a fortnight in hospital, much better than his last year's two-month stay).

As the Marauders did their best to keep their cools, and act as if nothing had ever happened, there were still other… things that needed to be attended to. James had sadly received a howler from home, expressing his mother's fury with him in his silly suicidal act to woo Lily. He was greatly shocked at her ever finding out and took to jinxing more "first year spies" down the hall. It was a strange move on Mrs. Potter's part, for Sirius had never recalled her ever sending more than a little note of reprimand, and hence forth behaved himself a little more, for fear she might bring her motherly wrath down upon him as well. So another plot to win Evans had spiraled down the drain, it wasn't surprising actually, it served as Marauder entertainment and that's really all Sirius cared about…

**November 17th 1975**:

"Evans, can I see you notes, Evans?" James inquired eagerly, scooting his chair next to Lily's.

Frost flecked the windows of McGonagall's classroom, and though a fire blazed in the back grate, the chamber was as cold as ice. The students were bundled in mufflers and gloves, shivering in their Spartan desks, quills flying in attempt to document McGonagall's lecture. She stood at the front of the class, donning her favorite pair of green ear muffs, lecturing the class on an intriguing incantation entitled a patronous (she often saw fit to lecture on subjects not only pertaining to Transfiguration, but Defense Against the Dark Arts as well... as she did not hold the professor of that subject in such high esteem).

Lily sat looking very pretty with rosy cheeks, accenting the green luster of her eyes, nose upturned to her black haired desk partner, thoroughly annoyed with him in every way. Apparently she had given up using her "barrier", two great novels placed upright between them, so that she wouldn't be bothered by Potter's "antics". Remus guessed James had done a healthy bit of negotiating to have these removed, or perhaps he irked her to the point that she seceded. At any rate, they still weren't exactly chummy.

"Evans, can I see your notes?" James hissed again in Lily's ear.

"What for?" she asked out of the side of her mouth, not bothering to give him a look.

"So I can compare," he said innocently.

"A likely story," she snapped. "Last time you 'compared' I could barely make out my notes among all that profanity!"

"But it was all about you," James smiled brightly.

Lily's nostrils flared, "Exactly."

"Does it bother you that I find you breathtaking?" James asked, tilting his head to the side with a smirk.

"Are we going to have to go through this everyday?" she groaned. "Alright, ask me, just go ahead and ask me!"

"What?" James blinked.

"What you've badgered me about everyday for the last two weeks." Lily's patience was ebbing and she spoke through gritted teeth, trying very hard to contain her tone.

"Why, are you going to say yes this time?"

"_No_, just go on and get it over with, you're going to ask me anyway."

"Okay," James grinned cheekily. "Lily Evans, do you by chance have a snitch in your possession?" He blinked and smiled expectantly at her, waiting for her usual response.

"Can't say I do," she sighed simply.

James frowned and leaned his chair back on two legs. "Oh come on Lils, I swear, you're in denial. You have it."

"Even if I did, it's not like I'd tell you!"

"Oh ho, ho! That's an open confession!" James laughed loudly, pointing at her rather rudely.

"No it's not," Lily hissed, conscious of the eyes falling on them.

"Well, we both know the truth… you can keep denying it, but I'll still love you," James winked and pinched her arm.

She tried to slap him back, inconspicuously under the table, but he took hold of her hand and would not let go.

"Just one more question Evans," James leaned close and whispered, his breath tickling her ear.

Lily froze and blushed a very deep red, her stomach doing summersaults.

"And that is?" she asked stiffly.

"Will you make love with me in the broom cupboard after class?"

He watched her eyes widen with horror, and grinned even more broadly when she opened her mouth, but was speechless. She whipped her hand out of his, kicked him painfully in the shin, and scooted her chair further away, glaring all the while.

Remus' eyes drifted further around the classroom, landing on a well-built black haired boy. Sirius Black sat in the back of the class etching crudely drawn caricatures (of Filch, Snape and Lestrange) on his desktop, ignoring McGonagall completely. His desk partner would cast him dark looks occasionally, but he took no notice.

Ever since that night Elise had discovered his secret, he made sure she was even more invisible than before, not daring to meet her eyes or utter a word to her. Although, Elise didn't seem to mind, she gained a kind of unruly confidence, and often took to humming during lectures, free to be herself when she knew Sirius would not dare say a word. So now she shuffled her feet aimlessly beneath the desk, quill flying under chin, scratching along the parchment as she offered an ear to McGonagall's lecture, with an attentiveness Sirius could never achieve.

Sirius was close to dozing when his ears perked up at the mention of a word.

"A _werewolf_ is not an _animagus_," McGonagall's voice sounded from the front. "There are more differences than similarities between the two."

She babbled on a few phrases more and Sirius listened dully, until she posed a question that perked his interest. "And what is an animagus, anyone?"

Sirius' hand shot up in the back.

McGonagall blinked idly at him, as if she doubted what she was seeing. She paused a moment and said brusquely, "I'm sorry, not now Mr. Black you may relieve yourself during the break!"

"No professor, I wanted to answer the question."

McGonagall raised her brows. "You did? Well, lets here it then."

Sirius educated the class with a highly detailed explanation, which rather shocked McGonagall.

"Very thorough Black, ten points to Gryffindor."

Sirius smiled smugly, winking at James, but then to his displeasure, he caught eyes with Elise for the first time in weeks. They locked eyes for a brief moment and quickly looked away. This caused an uncomfortable squirming in his stomach to begin, to where he really wished he'd actually asked to use the toilet.

McGonagall returned to the front, dictating to a piece of white chalk etching her words across the board.

"Correct, one's animagus takes form according to one's personality, or in more precise terms, one's patronous. For example, if one takes on traits on great boldness and quick wit, their animagus would most likely be a cat or some feline form. Timid personalities perhaps might produce a rodent or some animal of that nature."

"Then Snivellus would be a skunk," Sirius leaned forward and whispered to Peter, who was two desks ahead.

Sirius hadn't exactly been discrete, or quiet for that matter, and James turned around in his seat in the front, adding, "Or better yet, a stink bug." He said this a little louder, causing more laughter among the students.

McGonagall whipped around, her harsh gaze landed on James. "Enough Potter, five points from Gryffindor. That is no way to talk about another student, and I will be bold enough to venture that your patronous form is a chicken."

When McGonagall turned back to the board, James attempted to suppress silent giggles, he and Sirius only knowing the full humor of McGonagall's comment. Lily shook her head, and Peter looked around with a pained expression waiting for someone to explain to him what was so funny, Elise on the other hand was stony faced, watching Sirius out of the corner of her eye. He made sure not to appease her with the look she so desired, he much wished to avoid that horrible stomach squirming that kicked during moments of guilt.

The classroom faded away, replaced by yellowing parchment and Sirius' blotchy handwriting…

_9:57 am, Wednesday, suffering from the lull of excitement…Why have I brought my diary to Transfiguration? Mainly because the bird lady at the front bores me to tears, and "Gorgeous" here to my right isn't exactly chatty… like it matters. So let me enlighten you with the musings of a sixteen- year old prodigy: _

_1. This classroom smells like cabbage_

_2. Stover keeps picking her nose when she thinks no one is looking_

_3. My foot itches… I'm bored as hell_

_4. I wonder if McGonagall ever had looks in her youth, was she like— _

_(hmm, my desk partner is casting me dodgy looks). _

_As I was saying (ahem), SIRIUS BLACK'S PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION… (desk partner has just made a derisive snort… although I could swear she's smiling now)._

_(time has lapsed.. ooh no, really)_

_Twas a month before Christmas and all through the school_

_Chaps were snoring in class and drowning on drool (don't look at me like that, it rhymed!) _

_Teachers were hired by Satan, I know that it's true_

_I saw Vicar breathe fire and McGonagall too_

_And then she gave me that evil old glare_

_I was sent to her office, the "cannibal's lair"_

_I pled like a good boy, I promise, I swear_

"_She eats children," I cried, "Young ones beware!"_

_But it was too late, my evil demise_

_Was found in the earth's most horrible prize… So much for rhyming I have detention… AGAIN! Pity me, really, feel my pain. I think what McGonagall's really put out about is that I have every one of her Friday nights scheduled for my detentions, so she technically doesn't have any leisure time, tis a shame. Ooh ooh, but I though I'd add this genius tid bit…_

_Education, ha! My God, what a farce!_

_I'd rather eat dung that sit on my arse _

_Anyhow… _

_I hope Moony's out of hospital soon. I'm having trouble writing that Bones essay without him. Well, maybe I'll just have Stover do it for me. Of course that means I'll have to waste a whole half hour with her in the broom cupboard, but I do need to pass "History of Morons" this year. _

_The winter break can't come soon enough and this whole month's been one long drag. Although, there are the slight perks… trips to The Three Broomsticks at one o'clock in the morning, getting Rosemerta tipsy enough to sit in my lap… and then I did convince Professor Vicar I was allergic to the ingredients in the Hag's Hazel potion, to where he let me skip the lesson and the observations essay… Oh yes! grins evily, sent a howler to myself, expressing Sinistra's undying love for me (I was later slapped for that one, but it was well worth it). _

_Speaking of Sinistra, after she dumped Peter nearly two weeks ago, she went out with Prewett, Lestrange and four blokes I don't care to know, it's scandalous! Not really, I've done worse, but now she's off flitting with girly boy Diggory and his hideous pompadour hair. Oh, and that's another good thing that happened! Not Sinistra dating Diggory, you idiot, but I um… well, let's just say my dear Amos has quite an attractive afro working for him now. Wonder how Sinistra will react to that._

_But woe, I must end my entry, for my dear colleague Prongs has just suggested a good washing up in the prefects' loo. Oh Moony, we owe you mate, we owe you… pinefresh! _

Speaking of baths, Remus thought he quite needed one himself, but continued reading, contented in a hefty red armchair at the fireside of what had been the Black's family room, shoveling down handfuls of cashews (N/A: Why cashews? Because I'm eating them right now, I felt Remus should too… sorry), digesting and reading was very satisfying…

November passed and Moony was still prisoner in the hospital wing, reacting rather badly to any form of treatment Madame Pompfrey tried to give him. _Magical_ _Malados_ had caused him to break out in boils, _All Purpose Remedy Elixir_ had plagued him with ghastly rashes, _Vivrous_ _Tonic _and_ Fouler Power _combined had sent him into a frightening three day long slumber, and lamb shank had given him cramps. All in all, it was mid December before Pompfrey deemed him cured, but he chose to stay in hospital besides the fact, because he was stricken by the approaching full moon. He had to add though, a bit of chocolate certainly cheered things up.

From November to early December, Sirius had gained and lost three girlfriends, all Miss Universe worthy candidates in looks, but with no more brains than an amoeba.

This had caused Sirius to get bored with them quickly, and seeing how he was only using them to bait Sinistra with jealousy (which did not seem to be working), he wasn't too depressed about it.

However, his entries steadily became moodier as the month passed on, dreading the holiday season. For him it meant long lonely hours of brooding at Hogwarts with little company and gut wrenching reminders of family. It meant meeting up with a morose inner darkness, and he was too proud to invite himself over to James' for the break. Prongs assumed as much one night at supper and took it upon himself to save Sirius from his gloom…

"You're coming home with me, aren't you mate?" James asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Sirius' eyes flashed up from his dinner plate, where he had been chasing his peas about with a fork.

"Uh…"

The question shocked him somewhat. He had expected to stay at school, like he'd done every year. James' offer was generous, but Sirius was already too much indebted to the Potters. But then… Christmas at Godric Hallow would be brilliant _You'll owe_ _James_, a voice in his head whispered, _He'll have you by a favor, is that what you want, to have a debt weighing over your head… a debt that must be repaid? _And then there was the other fear… _father_.

"I don't think so James," Sirius said quickly.

James furrowed his brows. "What's that supposed to mean? C'mon, you're not thinking of going back to Grimmauld"

"No," shot Sirius shortly, "I-I think I'll stay at the castle…"

"You're mad, Sirius! I can't believe you'd choose… You're daft to want to stay!"

"It's not because I want to, it's because I _have_ to!"

"What are you talking about? My mum's already got a room ready for you. She wrote this morning… she's expecting you Sirius!"

Sirius was losing his temper, his eyes were narrowing and an embarrassing heat was rising from his neck up. "Didn't you hear me? _I have to stay!_"

"Explain, why don't you!"

"Oh!" Sirius pushed off angrily from his bench. "James," he hissed. "Do you know what would happen if my father knew I spent another spell at your place? I'm already in deep enough shit as it is, let alone"

James crossed his arms. "So you're letting _him_ get to you?" he asked testily.

Sirius reddened. "Shut up James, you asked!"

And with that, he kicked off from the bench and sulked away, hexing Regulus in the process.

No mention of this little feud between James and Sirius was documented in any of the following entries, but a kind of frostiness was visible in the Sirius wrote about James there after. It was only until December 23rd, that it appeared as if Sirius' mood had changed.

**December 23rd, 1975: **

Feathers dusted the floor of the boy's dormitory, scattered over the pillows, looking like frosty remnants of winter snow. Sirius was standing atop his bed, pillow raised high above his head, face glowing with a playful brilliance.

"Surrender or suffer my wrath!" he cried loudly, issuing a warrior cry as he flung the great lumpy pillow at an unsuspecting Prongs.

"It was funny half an hour ago, but it's a little old now!" James groaned in exasperation, spiting out a mouthful of feathers.

"Sore losers never prosper," Sirius chimed, bouncing jovially on his mattress, he felt like five today and didn't care, freedom would soon be his. One more day of schooling and the Christmas holiday would arrive.

"Isn't that cheaters never prosper?" James frowned, flinging open his drawers and throwing various clothing articles carelessly to the floor.

"Not so, we've prospered as cheaters quite well don't you think?"

"Fair enough," James shrugged. He scratched at his hair and stared thoughtfully at the large black trunk placed on the edge of his bed.

There came a thud, James looked up and viewed a wincing Sirius, now sprawled on the floor, rubbing his head and glaring at the ceiling.

"Jumped a little too high," he said, grinning bashfully.

James smiled back wryly and made a final decisive sigh, gathering up his strewn clothing about the floor.

"Pack clean things," he said some five minutes later, piling his trunk with an assortment of winter wear. As it was the last day before the holiday break, James finally decided to start packing. The carriages for students spending the break away were set to leave the next morning and Sirius still had not given James an answer on where he was to put up during that time.

"My mum'll be in a state if you've got soiled laundry, Sirius," James said this with nonchalance, but his eyes traveled expectantly to Sirius, hoping he'd caught on.

"James, my mind is made up," Sirius groaned with a hint of annoyance. "I'll stay here. It'll just inconvenience your mum if I tag along."

He had been trying a lot harder lately to manage his temper, and so he chose a softer approach, hoping to sound more the unwanted guests than the rude rejecter.

"How many times have I told you, idiot, my mum's going to run around mad like headless chicken if you don't come. She's gone all out for guests… she'll be a little put out if you don't come. I've already told her you're joining us, its final!"

"Well, you can just write back and tell her it was a mistake!" Sirius barked, losing his composure. "It's not like anyone really wants me there!"

James' face fell and an uncharacteristic meekness took him as he mumbled, looking somewhat blushingly to the floor, "What are you talking about? You're… you're like _family_ Padfoot."

He lifted his eyes and a sliver of a smile crept to James' lips, almost unsure whether it was all right.

A warm elated feeling jumped from Sirius' stomach, his mouth forming into a smile against his will. _Like family? Sirius, like family?_ He couldn't say it, he didn't know how, but he was grateful… how could he object now, James was his best friend… just as good as family.

"Mate I―" he began, but James shook his head.

"No, if you don't want to come it's alright, mum will just have to understand."

"James―"

"I'm not going to twist your arm, I'll tell her we wont be needing the guest bedroom… you know the one with the high ceiling, cherry wood furniture, silk pillows, balcony,"

"_James_!" Sirius interrupted more loudly, but Prongs turned a deaf ear, continuing on.

"I'll tell dad we won't need the mark five brooms or the pitch, seeing as it'll just be me. Mum had a hot tub installed to the guest bedroom you―"

"Alright, alright James, I'll go!" Sirius cried angrily, but James' face was spread too widely into a smile that Sirius could not help but beam back, his anger quite lost.

"No, I really don't think we want you anymore," James kidded.

Sirius threw his head back in a bark-like laugh, "You win, I surrender."

And things were back to normal. Sirius was exhilarated at the thought of spending his holiday in the Potter's plush pad and quickly started packing, his mind set on the new Jacuzzi in the guest room.

One more day of classes was ahead of them before three weeks of holiday freedom, and for like most holidays… the Marauders had a little something planned.

James and Sirius skipped Charms that day to explain the plot to Wormtail. They gathered in an empty classroom on the seventh floor opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy being clubbed by trolls. Inside it was quite extravagant with the largest and most comfortable of lounging cushions, and piles and buckets of chocolate frogs and every flavored beans to eat at their leisure (Sirius often took girls here for romantic excursions, although it was usually dressed in red and candle light).

"There's a difference between holly and mistletoe, Peter. My God, didn't your mother ever teach you anything?" James squalled, lounging on his own snitch-stitched cushion.

Peter made a low whining noise that could have been taken for an apology. "Fine, well what's that then?" he asked, pointing to a clump of green leaves sticking out of James' back pocket.

"Oh this?" James retrieved the yuletide greenery and ruffled it in Peter's face. "This I developed in Herbology, when—"

"_You_ developed?" cried Sirius. "I had a hand in it too, you know!"

"Fine," James rolled his eyes. "Einstein and I came up with it. Anyway, _we_ developed it in Herbology. That new Kettleburn's a real snoozer, nearly as bad as Bones, misses everything. Bet if I set the greenhouse on fire he wouldn't notice."

"Yeah, but what is it?" Peter questioned, sniffing at the plant much like a rodent.

Sirius snatched it away, snarling "Don't _sniff_ it you dolt! Its magical mistletoe… enhanced."

"_Magnetic_ mistletoe, actually," said James.

Peter's mouth fell open. "Magnetic―"

"Mistletoe, yes," Sirius beamed at his creation. "When placed above the heads of any two… of the opposite sex of course, they will automatically collide."

"Hence the term magnetic," put in James quickly.

A crooked smile crept to Sirius' lips, "And won't detach unless they kiss good and proper."

"In the right place," grinned James.

"On the lips," Sirius finished for him. "Enough of this mamby pamby kiss on the cheek business, we're out to rectify the problem… and um, add a touch of chaos as well," said Sirius, biting his lower lip mischievously.

"We've stationed twenty sprigs of the stuff around the castle, which should activate in… oh, say twenty minutes or so," James said checking his watch.

"But it's a bit of a risk isn't it?" Peter asked blearily, thoroughly overwhelmed by the idea. "I mean, what if you get stuck with some… you know…"

"Unfavorable soul? Yes, we thought of that," James said loosely. "But that's highly unlikely considering we know the location of it all, and if we travel in a pack of males, we should be fine. Of course that doesn't mean I won't try and pull Evans under one with me."

"Yes, well I still think you're too young to die." Sirius smirked, drawling in that aloof manner as he tossed a toffee bean in the air and caught it in his mouth with ease.

>>

Whooshing and whirling his world about, Remus landed very hard on his back side in what appeared to be Flitwick's empty Charms classroom. He rubbed his back end and scrambled to his feet, looking for signs of Sirius. It did not take him long to spot the infamous black hair so roguishly tousled, and the haughty handsome face drawn in a jeering grin as Sirius leaned coolly against the doorway.

"So nice of you to drop by," he was saying, his head inclined charmingly to the side.

"Drop by indeed!" came a flustered female voice outside the door. "I didn't come for you Black… I forgot a book."

A flushing Stella Sinistra tried to push past Sirius, but he stood in her way, colliding with her. Remus had a hunch it was caused by a higher power and looked up to see the mistletoe strung above their heads.

"I like bumping into you," he said quietly with that grin still hanging on his lips.

"Well I don't!" Stella shot fiercely, her black eyes narrowing.

She then attempted to detach herself from him, but found for some strange reason she could not. Her face grew hotter by the second and a sickening fear exploded in her stomach when she realized how very close she was to Sirius Black.

"Can you move please!" she urged, making as if he were the problem, hoping it was just her nervousness that glued her feet to the floor.

"Not just yet," he murmured smoothly, traveling a lone finger over the contour of her cheekbone.

She gulped and felt as if she would soon be sick in front of him. "What is it?" she tried to snap, but the words came out breathless as she locked eyes with the gray-eyed splendor… he was so handsome… intimidating.

"Mistletoe," he said pointing, traveling his eyes aloft.

Stella's mouth went dry and she could feel the butterflies start to take flight.

"Mistletoe?" the words had barely escaped her mouth when she found her lips trapped in Sirius' own.

He worked passionately and when she finally realized what she had given into, it was too late. Her mind tried to communicate back to her hands to stop him, slap him, but they disobeyed, mindlessly drawing him near… and then she had control again.

_Slap!_ _Slap, slap, slap!_

"You're the vilest of viles!" Stella shrieked, and despite the number of times she had given him a whacking he was… laughing?

"You're crazy!" She stood watching him overwhelmed and out of breath, secretly wishing he'd pull her in again, but he didn't.

Sirius simply pushed off from the doorway, strutting down the hall, laughing. He'd had his fun.

Stella's bottom lip trembled as she watched him go, her eyes clouded and she couldn't help but mutter fiercely, "_Jerk."_

It always hurt when it happened to you. She had done the same to so many others, but now she felt the pain herself and it was wretched.

Remus felt no sympathy, like Sirius, Stella had it coming to her.

>>

>>

"And so… and so…" cackled James, unable to finish his tale. He was rolling mad with laughter at the foot of Moony's bed.

The hospital wing looked very festive, trimmed in holly and garland. Faerie lights had been strung around the posts of Moony's bed, flashing brightly, giving him off a luminous glow, despite the patchy rashes still healing on his face. Moony grinned, watching James, finding the magical mistletoe a clever and amusing trick. Sirius lay on his back in the neighboring cot, helping Moony clear away one of his "sympathy" gifts, which at present was a large slab of chocolate.

James was red faced in his laughter and Remus was beginning to fear for his ability to withhold… ahem, himself.

"He says to her… pro- pro- professor come here, and she does… and-and Filch and McGonagall are stuck! Of course, I had actually planned Dumbledore and McGonagall, but this was better. You should have seen the look on their faces when Longbottom pointed out the mistletoe…"

"He and Alice sure had a go," Sirius smirked, "I'd say we did a right many few people a charity today."

"Yeah, so did McGonagall and Filch kiss or what?" Moony inquired eagerly.

James' face fell a little. "Well, no, no they didn't. McGonagall shriveled the stuff up with her wand… but it was bloody hilarious to watch at any rate. Ha! and the pair of first years under the doorway to Myrtle's bathroom…"

"That's a bit twisted though, isn't it?" Sirius asked no one in particular, beaming ever so devilishly. "A boy and a girl entering the _girls'_ bathroom at the same time… if you asked me they deserved it."

There was a pause for a moment as Sirius stared, bemused into space recalling the beauty of the whole thing. Moony broke Sirius' reverie.

"Didn't catch Evans under one did you, Prongs?" he asked, raising a brow.

James' face contorted morosely for a moment, but then he sighed and looked at his hands as he mumbled, "No, Alexandra Crane, actually. She didn't seem to mind much, not that she was happy about it but… I don't know where Evans flitted off to. One moment she was there… nearly mine, and the next, _poof_! Think she learned to apparate?"

As James babbled on about the female of his dreams, Sirius was left to dwell on his interlude with Sinistra. She had responded favorably to him, oh yes, she had. She had wanted more.

His insides melted a little at the thought. He touched the place on his cheek where it still stung from her slaps, recalling its heat… heat, and the warm thrilling pleasure of the kiss. It had been pleasurable, but he could not feel happy about it. He had taken an eye for an eye, ensnaring her with a kiss that could never, would never mean anything. It had been his own cruel comeback to a month's worth of jealousy, watching Stella fiddle from one boy to the next. She was still beautiful, still held that mystical aura that so captivated him, but oh! girls were so much more confusing than he'd thought.

Coming to realize how tired he was, Sirius stood up, yawned greatly, and voiced his wish to depart.

"I'll be right after you," James called and turned back to Moony.

Sirius ran a hand over his weary face as he exited the doors to the hospital wing, bumping into someone quite unexpected.

He barely caught sight of the voluminous waves of red hair and the slanting emerald eyes, when he blurted out, "Evans!" sounding ruder than intended.

He then looked down, remembering the time. It was ten after nine, not much past curfew, but Lily saw her prefect duties all the way through and he doubted she'd give him much slack. He wished he'd shown her a bit of courtesy.

"Sorry, I probably shouldn't have been standing so close to the door," she said with an unusual amount of politeness, brushing some wayward wisps out of her face. Sirius had the dreadful feeling she would _cheerfully_ be giving him detention in a minute and chose to save himself before Evans could think to spoil his evening.

"Please Evans, be merciful it's nearly Christmas, I have enough detentions to make up as it is," he groaned.

She frowned momentarily and then threw her head back laughing, her smile dazzling with an angelic perfection. Sirius felt a jolt quite suddenly in his stomach and understood for the very first time why James fancied this one.

"Detention? No. Mind you, I'd have to give one to myself, see," she laughed lightly.

_What was with her?_ She never in a million years would speak so congenially to Sirius. He was tempted to believe her brain had been tweaked. But then, he never had given her so much as the time of day before so how would he know anything about Lily Evans, a perfect stranger.

It was odd that there was such a lack of "inter-house unity" among the Gryffindors. The tight little band the Marauders had created was so exclusive that rarely anyone was accepted into their social group and even then they were still kept at a distance. The epitome of "cool" was only to be looked at from afar. That is unless you were an attractive female in Sirius Black's sights. Lily Evans was tipping onto his platter at the moment and he couldn't help but give her a little flick with his eyes. He was feeling quite the womanizer today indeed.

"So what brings you, Evans, to these far corners of the castle?" Sirius grinned, his own charm working him wonders.

Lily caught his tone, and returned more taciturn, "I hoped to talk to someone."

Sirius bit his lip, observing Lily's petit curving frame, thinking dreadfully dreadful thoughts ("Someone should really slap him," thought Remus, but remembered Sirius' previous brawl with Sinistra and lamented that the event had had no effect on his moral whatsoever).

"You're talking to someone now," he said, one brow arching high and suggestive.

Lily's smile curved its way into a bitter smirk of scorn. "So I am. Have you seen Potter," she sighed, suddenly restless.

Sirius did more than a double take. "Pardon?" he squeaked.

"Have you seen… _Potter_…" she breathed out the word as her eyes landed on James who had just appeared at the door beside Sirius.

"Hey," James grinned, his face brightening at the sight of Evans, and he shot a quick triumphant glance at Sirius. His face read signs of a veela-entranced male, and Sirius sighed to himself, thinking, "Well so much for that."

"It's a bit late for you, isn't it, Evans?" James asked, resting an arm languidly on Sirius' shoulder, sporting that debonair that never seemed to work for him, not with Lily anyway.

Lily opened her mouth, probably to retort back harshly, but Sirius answered for her. "She wanted to talk to someone," he smirked.

"Really," James' wonderfully talented brows ascended into his hairline in mild curiosity, "Who?"

Lily shifted uncomfortably in her place, looking down to the floor as she mumbled something inaudible.

"What was that?" Sirius asked.

Lily looked up, and with cracked voice and hesitation, stammered, "Well… I uh, I was wondering if… James, can I speak to you?"

The words had clearly not registered, because James started blabbing in that cocky manner, "Well, you don't need my permission to— wait, wha?"

"Can I um, speak to you? _Privately_,that is."

James looked behind him to ensure Lily was not talking to some unbeknownst soul. When he had established that the question was truly directed at him, he stood there a moment caught in a mixture of joy and disbelief.

"You don't mind do you?" Lily asked quickly, horrified at the idea of being rejected, she had made enough of a sacrifice coming thus far anyway.

"M-mind? No, no I don't mind I… of course!"

Lily's face relaxed a little when James agreed, and a sense of relief washed over her. The worst was over at least.

Sirius had not noticed it before, but he saw now that in her hands she clutched a tiny golden ball, upon which faint sketchy writing was visible. He just barely made out an inscribed _JPLE_, when he gasped, realizing the true nature of the golden ball.

"James," he began slowly.

But Prongs barely took notice, attempting to cover up his previous blundering response. "Sure, of course, no, that'd be really um… lovely," he ended awkwardly, hardly able to believe his own luck, however bewildered.

Both Lily and James glanced at Sirius inferring he "disappear" for while. He took the notion a bit offensively and went indignantly rigid.

"Then you two be off, chat… have a lovely time," he said sardonically, and then raising his eye brows with evident suspicion, "See you later Prongs… 'night Evans," he muttered her name very slyly, slipping her a suspecting glance, and off strut Sirius Black.

What did he care about that measly little girl anyway, what did it matter about a snitch, some stupid snitch, it didn't matter to Sirius Black at all.

>>

>>

Sirius reached the common room hoping for peace and quiet, but met something rather the opposite. Because of the magical mistletoe, many new couples had sprung up within the last five hours and to Sirius' displeasure, they all seemed to be clinging to each other, completely unawares that "petting" was not a public affair, especially in the common room. Kissing couples were split apart by spit wads and cat calls, a group of fourth years were attempting to bewitch a wreath to sing "Deck the Halls" (which was not working particularly well… the wreath was howling a pitiful "Deck the Stalls" instead), and Fabien Prewett, head boy and "Pompous Slicker of the Year" (as Sirius called him), was boasting loudly of the divine Christmas present his girl friend had given him in the broom cupboard. Along with all the holiday excitement, Sirius could not help but feel he was somehow responsible for all the commotion, and was then irritated with his own genius.

Still too giddy for sleep, Sirius stationed himself down in one of the few vacant fireside chairs and looked mildly around for some conversation.

"Sirius, mate!" a voice sounded from behind, "Get any _exciting_ presents so far this year?"

It was Fabien. Sirius was not particularly keen on this chap, but engaged in conversation just the same, Fabien could be charming when his big head didn't get in the way.

"Can't say so," Sirius sighed, grinning crookedly, he patted the armrest of the chair to his right. "C'mere and tell me about yours." He hardly cared to be honest; he just needed someone to keep him awake while he waited for James to return.

Fabien smiled broadly, and swooped right down, running a palm across his sleek red hair. "Oh, there's not much I can say around the _kiddies_," he said, glancing quickly at a group of rambunctious first years by the Gryffindor notice board (like he really cared about tainting their precious ears).

"But yes, it was… wonderful."

"Was it?" Sirius asked aridly.

Fabien was oblivious to Sirius' tone and chattered on with animation, "See that Sinistra girl today, my God she was in huff!"

"Sinistra girl?" Sirius raised a brow. "I thought you went out that 'Sinistra girl'…"

"Yeah, well it obviously didn't last," Fabien interjected quickly. "But she was balling her eyes out, and you think she might like some comfort, yikes, what a little pratt!"

Sirius snorted, he could attest to that!

"She really should be in Slytherin, you know… her parents have gotten mixed up in all kinds of muggle killings… shady blokes, if you take my meaning…"

But Sirius really didn't take Fabien's meaning, because something else had caught his eye, and attention. He didn't know why he hadn't noticed her before, nestled in the shadows, watching him, intently, anxious. Elise looked particularly somber, much like the night nearly a month before, when Sirius lost his secret to her.

It hit him hard that very moment. No matter how much he wished, tried, and wanted to forget it, Elise would always be a part of his past, and always know of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. He felt it a rather profound revelation, but a very bitter one at that. There she sat watching him, like a cat ready to pounce, those rich brown eyes afire with something he could not understand. He gathered these thoughts in a matter of seconds, and thankfully Fabien was too caught up in his own story to notice. Sirius tore his eyes from her haunting gaze, feeling suddenly light headed… _why did she make him feel like this? _

"What do you think Sirius old boy?" Fabien asked.

"Uh… what, sorry."

"The muggles are endangering us don't you think? I mean, the pureblood families were here first, yours and mine, and well… I love muggles just the same as any wizard, but when it comes right down to it, we were here first. It's all a matter of first come, first serve! And then to accept them at school with us… it's too much of a risk, don't you think?"

This discussion irked Sirius and he wished to escape it entirely, along with Elise whose eyes seemed glued to him, it made things very uncomfortable. _Damn, I wish James would hurry up_, he thought to himself.

Elise, who had been playing the part of the silent listener with one brow raised and a frown, opened her mouth in response to Fabien's remark.

"Excuse me, but I beg to differ."

Fabien jumped at the sound of her voice, and recovered rudely giving her a judgmental flick with his eyes and sneering back, "Do you Collier, because I don't give damn!"

Elise pursed her lips and said, unfazed, "If it weren't for muggles there wouldn't be any purebloods, perhaps you failed to remember."

She was making him look very stupid and Sirius felt a glow of admiration towards her, though it was something he'd never admit to.

"Shut up Collier, not all purebloods are mad asses like the Lestranges, just because you lost your old geezer to wackos doesn't mean we're all in it for the same—"

Elise's color drained and she lost the triumphant brightness in her eyes, Sirius had had enough.

"Shut up Prewett," he said quietly.

"What?" Fabien cried, "It's been a month, you'd think she'd be over it!"

"Why don't you shut up!" Sirius said a little louder with more vehemence.

"Why should I, she intruded on our conversation! The little creep can't deal with the fact that he's good and dead and that it's all over with? Girls are weak, weak little sissies… muggles are weak!" he spat and rose from his seat, aware that he was no longer wanted in Sirius' company.

A look of utmost horror spread across Elise's face. The softness of her features plunged into a stricken scowl, and her eyes welled rapidly with a hot stream of tears. Sirius barely saw her whip them away, when she jumped from her seat and dashed, in a horrible mix of humiliation and despair, up the staircase to the girl's dormitory.

He knew she rested there drowning in her sorrows, engulfing herself in a pit of grief… alone. She had no one, no one knew… except Sirius. He'd made up his mind before he knew it.

Everyone was looking away, he could do it now and no one would see him. Crouching in the corner, blending into the long dark shadows painted by the flickering firelight, Sirius controlled his every limb and felt himself shrink and shift to four legs in place of two.

No one noticed the great black dog creeping up the stair way to the girl's dormitory, no one saw it disappear. Remus was apprehensive, but followed, ill at ease at the thought of entering the girl's dormitory…

Sirius' gallivanted further up the tower, following the winding staircase up to the topmost chamber from which sobs issued. He panted furiously; nervousness and a cold fear were budding in his chest. He stopped abruptly and his ears perked up. He'd reached the door half cracked open. He nudged gently against it, and entered.

With all but the moonlight shining through the panes, Sirius could just make out Elise's crumpled figure, weeping uncontrollably on the farthest four-poster bed. She could not hear the gentle scratch of his paws against the floor as he approached, amongst her sobs, and so, when the black loveable lab poked its nose onto her bed, she jumped.

It took her a moment to gather herself and as she did, she gazed at the canine's gray blue eyes piercing her own, wondering where and how she had seen them. It was as if her grief had blocked out any form of logical thought or memory, and it what seemed like the most natural thing in the world, she ran her fingers throughthe familiar silky, black hair along the dog's back, mindlessly scratching behind it's ears. It leapt boldly into the covers with her and she did not object. It was comforting and so strangely, she held onto it, never wanting to let go, burying her tears in it's coat.

The dog let out a wistful moan and nestled itself in, amazed at how he, Sirius Black, could ever have longed for Stella Sinistra, how he had been so blind for so long not see Elise… and it scared him, he had never known this emotion before. Was it love? He did not know, how could one measure it… he truly did not know.

Remus found himself alone by the fireside, the cashew dish empty, and Sirius' diary open, blank paged, its leaves wavering with a dull breeze_. Nothing written? How strange_, Remus thought, but then, things had happened to Sirius that words could not explain.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

N/A: Wow! I've never written so much in my life. I love you all, Mic especially, I finally got this posted, _whew_ (wipes brow).

_Review Responses:_

**_November Falls_**: An update just for you. )

_**Angela Gray**_: More surprises to come, hee hee.

_**Sacagawea**_: Siriusly, you're too kind.

_**ravioli and chocolate**_: Ooh, thanx!

_**Gemma-skeeter**_: Yes, I've toned Lily down a bit, hope you like what I've got planned for the next chap.

_**Dazzling Dame**_: My stuff, book worthy? Wow, you said so many wonderful things I can't thank you enough! huggles

_**Thorn of Blood**_: So glad that someone likes Elise, thank you so much and I really hope you continue with your fic ;).

_**Xmasgoose**_: Cool name :p

**MissBlueAngel**: You can curse me with black magic for not updating sooner.

**Doodleflip**: Thanx!

_**BrennQT**_: Hey lil sis ).


	16. Holiday Havocs of the Heart

Disclaimer: Rowling owns the names and rights to all the characters and or other contained in this document. I am just a measly little sixteen year old with a passion for writing that happens to extend to the Harry Potter world, so yeah, we all knew I never owned anything in the first place, huh?

n/a: Not much new to say here except, you all are so awesome, giving me reviews. I love you! Damien, Damien, kisses I luv you best… and don't call me _fluff n' stuff_ plz, I'm not that mushy! Now onto my true love, the ever available, the undeniable sultry god of the fanfic world… _le plus beaux du monde_, **_Sirius Black! _**

* * *

**>>**

**December 24th 1975: **

This was the second time Remus could remember finding himself in darkness in one of Sirius' entries. Darkness, save for a slender white chink of light creeping in from nowhere. In the close darkness Remus heard something beneath him stir, and then the rustling of bedclothes and a throaty groan. He jumped. _Oh God_, he knew where he was now and he just prayed they'd had the decency to stay clothed.

The light was getting brighter from what Remus now knew to be the curtains surrounding Elise's four-poster bed, and he could make out the darkened figures huddled together beneath the covers. Sirius had given up his dog form, that much was clear. Remus peered over them, and his heart lightened, thank God, they were both dressed in loosely buttoned and bed-crinkled uniforms, but it was better than nothing. Remus felt a glowing of pride for young Sirius' ability to _finally_ endure at least one mildly platonic night.

The light was now shining evenly on Sirius' face, causing his eyes to flutter blearily open. He lifted his head a moment and let it fall back into the pillows with a soft _tuff_, smiling to himself and closing his eyes, as if dwelling on a warm, sultry memory.

Elise shifted in the sheets at his side, bringing one of her arms lazily around him. A gentle, "Oh," escaped her lips and she nuzzled closer.

Sirius couldn't help but think, "_It's a dog's life_," and returned the embrace, twining his fingers in her bed-tousled brown waves of hair draping gracefully over the pillows. They both hung on a moment of heaven, soaking up the last bits of magic from the night before.

It had been nothing near to Sirius' previous excursions with girls, but the simplicity of just holding Elise seemed to satisfy him more, and the lightness of heart knowing that she _knew_ him, his animal side especially. It was satisfying and alleviating, like he could breath again, as if he wasn't aware he was choking before these delicate arms had closed around him… teenage wasteland? Maybe so, but it was heaven to Sirius Black.

Elise was awake now, her lashes batting lightly against his cheek. "This is strange," she whispered quietly, her voice so melodic and velvety, so pleasing to the ear.

"I know," he said hollowly.

It _was_ strange, but so perfect at the same moment. They lay in silence for a minute more, neither one knowing what to say, both so confused with their emotions.

"Are you staying for the holiday?" Sirius asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes," she sighed, and then not to sound rude, "Are you?"

"I was going to, but I'll probably end up at the Potters…"

"Oh…"

There was a hint of sadness in her voice, or perhaps Sirius imagined it, but elated feelings sprung up within him. _She would miss him, excellent!_ He would miss her too, to be sure, but this gave him some idea of how she felt towards him, that perhaps it was mutual liking and not just Sirius' one-sided infatuation.

The momentary sadness in Elise's face vanished quickly, replaced by a bright teasing smile, "Is what they say about you true?"

"They say many things about me, my dear!" Sirius flashed her a roguish grin.

She gave him a warm but stern glance of warning, and he whipped the look off his face, allowing her to continue.

"Is it true that you ran away from home? I heard you put up at the Potters' over summer."

"Ran away?" Sirius blinked, "I suppose you could call it that… I slipped off more rather, and it's not like I was hiding out or anything. My parents didn't really care if I left of not, I mean, I couldn't stand them, they couldn't stand me, the feeling was mutual." This was hardly true, but Sirius couldn't help trying to impress her, it was male habit, and he really hoped to make a better impression from here on out.

Elise furrowed her brows quizzically. "But they knew where you were, didn't they?"

"I'm sure they did… and I'm sure I'll probably pay for it," he said quietly. _That_ _much was true_, he thought, that much he would certainly pay for. His own father would scorn this scene. He would scorn the idea of Sirius lying with a muggleborn, conversing with her, treating her like an equal… well, close to an equal anyway.

"You know why I left though, everyone knows, it's an easy guess―"

Elise shook her head.

"Oh yeah, you wouldn't huh? Well I don't suppose it's worth talking about then…" His melancholy air did not linger long because he made haste in changing the subject, looking brightly up into her face, "You should always wear your hair down."

Elise threw her head back and laughed splendidly. "It's a straggly mess, you can't mean that!"

"I'm used to James', now that's a mess… you look beautiful."

"What made you change your mind?" she asked seriously, looking away and twirling her finger mindlessly in a loose thread on the quilt.

Oh, that was unexpected. Sirius' thoughts blocked, _what did make him change his mind? _Was it his discovery that night so long ago when she had put him in his place, was it her savvy bluntness that attracted him, her innocence? He was searching for a more intelligent, deeper answer than "I don't know… I cannot fathom love, what is love, all I know is you!" (Sirius Black excelled in romantic mush, Moony had often given him inspiration in this area) which he knew might suffice for other girls, but not Elise. A minute lapsed in which she gave him a moment to ponder, but now it was past awkwardness.

"It's alright if you don't have an answer."

But she was sporting that tone that gave Sirius the impression she meant otherwise. One thing about girls, they always masked their disappointment, either that or they'd scream it in your face, Sirius recalled this mildly as he thought of a proper cover up.

"No- no, I do… I just can't explain it."

Elise nodded solemnly and he felt a miserable sinking, as if he had just lost something valuable, something he had been so close to attaining. His every moment with her was a mixture of ups and downs and unknowns, with a different kind of excitement than he'd experienced with any other girl.

"Have you changed your mind about _me_?" he asked, diverting the question to her.

Elise frowned, "How do you mean?"

"Well I kind of figured you didn't care for me very much, you know after… well, you know after… that night."

_That night _seemed to play in his head over and over, echoing in and out of his brain, a reminder of how he had treated her, how he actually expected her to like him after he had bound her to a promise by black magic and then had the gall to try and kiss her. The more he thought of it, the less he felt he deserved her forgiveness. _I won't forgive myself anyway_, his heart sighed mournfully. Then out of the mist of his mind came Elise's voice on the other side.

"It wasn't that night that made me not like you… I didn't care for you before that."

"I know, I know, but it made you hate me worse," Sirius groaned, throwing his hands over his eyes, just the thought of his own stupidity made him want to hide, never to look in the mirror again and see arrogant, brain swelled Sirius Black.

"No," she said simply, "I don't hate you. I never hated you— actually, I liked you better after Halloween night…"

"You like me?" Sirius asked brightly, throwing his hands off his eyes, feeling slightly more pleased with himself… _why did he always throw himself into the sullens too soon? Drama queen. _

"A bit more," Elise said, cracking a smile, her eyes gleamed something curious and playful.

"Any feelings blossoming?"

She frowned deeply and said in mock severity, "You're horribly arrogant and I'm sorry to say you're a world class idiot… but you are a very cute dog."

The honesty of it made him laugh.

"Everyone fancies me better as a dog."

"It should be your permanent arrangement," she giggled and to his surprise, squeezed him tighter.

This was incredible, absolutely incredible, thought Sirius Black, and perfect… but how long could this perfection last? That was a painful thought and so he dismissed it. In the warmth of the embrace Elise released a heavy sigh.

"I really don't like you actually," she murmured, but it was if a part of her was unsure… the way she said it… well, she was torn, they were both torn. Sirius knew that much.

"Someone's in denial," he said in a singsong voice.

She propped herself up on her elbows, glared at him jestingly and whipped him with her pillow. She was taking advantage of Sirius' playful, doglike nature, batting him and diving under the covers before he could snatch her back. Her light bubbling laughter mixed with his and in a moment where he won, most unfairly, in the childlike game, his eyes melted with hers. Warm, so warm and inviting, pooling with fire, making him want…

His head was inclining towards hers, he was going to get it, he just knew it… nearly there just about…

And then there came a voice distantly from below that caused Elise to open her slow drooping lids.

"Elle, Elle are you up?"

There came the hollow pounding of running feet and the slamming and shutting of doors as young female voices hollered at top pitch, "Get up Elise, you'll miss Lily! Elle!"

Sirius never did receive his kiss.

"Omigod! What time is it?" Elise threw the curtains back horror filled. She looked quick to hide Sirius, but he had already acted, altering into his canine form and scrambling beneath the covers as the voices grew louder.

A moment later, Mackenzie McGavott and company burst in through the door.

"Elise! My God, get dressed we have half and hour until the carriages come… stop standing there, get dressed— oh, what have you been doing?"

The curly haired brunette eyed Elise suspiciously, surveying her wrinkled school uniform, which she had never bothered to change out of, and as Mackenzie's eyes traveled curiously about the scene, she noticed the sunken pillow next Elise's… the remnants of her night visitor.

The idea of it was unthinkable. Elise Collier? Virgin (well, Mackenzie was not sure of that now), booky, innocent Elise had slept with someone? She wouldn't think of it, she couldn't, it made her jealous. She would just have to persuade Moony somehow…

_(N/A: And the question was asked, how is Remus able to perceive other characters thoughts and points of view? Well… it's not told solely through Remus' eyes. The narrator is able to look at all points of view. I know it's confusing. I'll try to be clearer on all this in the future. Consistency is something I'm learning as a writer.) _

McGavott pushed past her surprise, not even allowing a baffled Elise to answer, ordering firmly, "Be down in fifteen minutes. Lily will be heart broken if you don't say good bye… well— for God's sake Elle, hurry up!" She trailed her eyes disdainfully over the scene once more and exited the dorm, slamming the door behind.

The few remaining girls took one sorry glance at Elise as if to say, "Shame, shame" and followed in suit. Only Alexandra Crane stayed behind, quite oblivious to the current trend of aggression towards Elise.

"I've slept in late too," she smiled gaily. "Once I even missed the train, my mum was screaming the whole way there… horrible memory," she mused still smiling dreamily, munching sparingly on a crust of toast she had been savoring since breakfast.

"I— Oh damn, what time is it?" Elise burst.

"Nine thirty," Alexandra sighed passively, stuffing the crust of toast into her mouth in an unladylike manner. "Well Elle, I must say, it's really not like you… if we hadn't thought you were already up, we'd have said something."

"I just— I wasn't thinking, I—"

"Oh calm, calm, eat something at least, you're dressed enough," Alex examined her sticky jam smeared fingers and with out as much as good bye, skipped off for a hand wipe… she was really such a quirky girl.

A little black nose poked out from under the sheets and sniffed tentatively. When he had determined that the coast was clear, Sirius wriggled out from beneath the linens, examining Elise with his keen gray eyes, piercing her with conviction, the way only puppy eyes could. She found herself lost in them, somewhat torn, these were the eyes that had watched over her at night, that had spurred so much curiosity in her, a yearning for freedom, and what scared her greatest of all was desire… perhaps not in the same areas as Sirius, but for acceptance, to have someone care, anybody. He had been her comforter the night before, someone to understand, but there were other feelings breaking the barrier, feelings that made her think logically. _Damn logic_.

"Good bye," her voice cracked, and with one last look, slid off the bed and exited the dormitory, leaving Sirius alone with her haunting warmth and memory.

"" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" """" "" ""

"Padfoot, where the hell have you been!" James burst when Sirius appeared in the common room five minutes to ten, freshly showered in muggle clothes, which consisted of (_n/a: for you lovely Sexy-Sirius obsessing ladies… me being one_) a fitted pair of jeans and a black leather jacket.

"Woke up late is all," Sirius shrugged coolly, flouncing up the collar of his jacket.

"_Late,_ do you realize we have to leave _now_?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and gave James the "you're acting like Remus" look. "Really Prongs, I thought by now I would have made an impression on you. _Haut culture_, high class is always fashionably late."

"Save _haut culture_ for some other time, I'm not missing Christmas this year!"

It was uncharacteristic, Remus decided, seeing James in anything but wizard robes. James had always reminded Remus of an awkward "Where's Waldo" in muggle wear. It was his choice of clothes mainly, red and white striped shirts seemed the expanse of his wardrobe, and Sirius had always shunned him for his "blind eye to fashion". Prongs, it seemed, had more important things on his mind, like Evans for instance, and Christmas.

James wasted no time, grabbing Sirius forcefully by the arm and literally dragging him out the portrait hole. They were speeding along down the corridors at a ridiculous pace. Sirius' wrist was burning in James' grasp as he struggled to keep up.

"Being late and missing are two different things… you're not going to miss Christmas Prongs, slow down!"

"Yeah, well I don't care Sirius— stop talking, maybe it's the hot air slowing _you_ down!"

James was blowing off steam all the way down to the Great Hall, where McGonagall had started calling role for the Gryffindor house departees. Remus noted her great ugly pointed holiday hat; a weathered, holly entwined masterpiece with reindeer antlers sticking out on either side… it was amazing how she kept her balance. She was just calling "_Alba, Miranda_" when the boys reached a much healthier looking Moony at the edge of the crowd (the chocolate must have done him well). He wore a mildly amused expression as he looked them over, avoiding James who was still fuming at the nostrils.

"Heard you weren't in the dorms last night," Moony whispered to Sirius, with a grin twitching at the corners of his mouth.

Sirius bit his lip and took a shifty look around, "Yes," he admitted slowly.

"Had to get your holiday nookie before we left, didn't you?" James shot at him in a fierce whisper.

"No," Sirius said simply, "Nothing of the sort."

There was almost too much normalcy in his voice that things sounded suspicious.

"Got lost?" Moony snorted.

"_Black, Sirius_!" McGonagall called shrilly from the front.

"Aye, aye captain!" and then very quietly, "Nice hat."

McGonagall narrowed her eyes over her clipboard, made a sharp _check_ and proceeded on.

Sirius was beaming with smugness at the few giggles he had received, while James and Moony prodded him with questions.

"Let me guess, the gargoyle on the seventh floor seduced you," Moony speculated jestingly.

"You were kidnapped by a mysterious band of house elves, otherwise known as the Crockery Cleaning Coalition," offered James.

"Clever Prongs," Sirius smirked, "I'll bet you sat up all night thinking about that one."

"I've got a better one," piped Moony, "Myrtle decided to drown you in a toilet, flushed you and the giant squid spit you up from the lake?"

James' became more animated as he continued to guess Sirius' whereabouts of the night before. "Even better, you were stuck in Narnia and found your way back through the wardrobe in the girl's dormitory."

"Close," grinned Sirius.

James' eyes widened. "You didn't go up to the girl's dormitory without me, did you… _mate_?"

The _mate_ part hung with bitterness, making Sirius wince inwardly.

"Um, well…"

"Well what?"

"Well where were you? I waited forever! You and Evans have a good snog?"

James looked momentarily alarmed, and then muttered scornfully, "I wish."

"_Lupin, Remus_!"

Moony gave a toneless "present" and crossed his arms, asking, "What's this about Evans?"

"Did you hear, she invited James for a chat," Sirius said offhandedly.

"No, what really happened?"

"Just that, she wanted to talk _privately_ with him and anyone with brains knows a request for privacy is a discrete way of asking for a snog."

"Would you please shut up!" James snapped suddenly.

Sirius was taken aback. "What's the matter with you Prongs, you've been up a tree all morning— is Evans really that bad?"

"Nothing happened," he growled bitingly, "and I'd prefer it if we just didn't talk about this right now, okay?"

"_Potter, James_!"

"Sergeant Potter reporting for duty madam!" James saluted cockily, making a Jackal and Hyde-like switch mid sentence.

McGonagall heaved an exasperated sigh, called "_Stebbins, Judith_" and shooed the students out of the hall.

Remus heard her mutter to a lingering Nearly Headless Nick, "It will certainly be a quiet few weeks."

Nick glanced at the departing Marauders and gave a curt nod.

"" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" """" "" ""

Snow was sprinkling faintly on the ground in a halfhearted way, dusting the students with icy white flecks as they made the sprint to the carriages.

"Shove it Pete," Sirius was saying as the Marauders tried to push their way through a pack of dawdling first years, Sirius taking the lead and Peter lugging his suitcase pathetically behind, huffing and puffing as breathless wisps of cold air emitted from his mouth.

James and his long legs had reached a carriage first. He was leaning against it, gazing gloomily in Lily's direction.

"C'mon," Sirius called, "It's your last chance to get a carriage with Evans until June." He winked and motioned with his head over to the lovely Lily, bidding goodbye to her fellow Gryffindor girls.

For some reason the comment particularly hurt James, his face sunk into a scowl. "No, it's alright," he said tonelessly.

James' attitude had spurred Sirius' curiosity all morning. What could have happened with Evans to make him so disagreeable? He found out moments later on the bumpy ride into Hogsmeade, in the privacy of their carriage…

"Now I want to know everything!" demanded Moony. "What did Evans do, or what did you do more likely?"

James looked away and heaved a great sigh, resting his head against the frost-flecked pane of the carriage window. He closed his eyes a moment and prepared himself, the hurt evident in his face.

"It's just so damn unfair!" he burst suddenly.

"What is Prongs?" Sirius asked softly.

"Everything, just everything! Evans is leaving!"

"What!" was the initial outcry among the boys.

"Evans _leaving_? How could she? It's only sixth year! Wait— what? That just can't be!" Moony blubbered, shocked at the idea of losing his fellow _Prefect_.

"Oh," James groaned, his face now in his hands. "It was awful! I wasn't expecting…"

"But what did she say, why?" whined Peter.

James wiped his brow, his face hot with frustration, he'd wanted to avoid talking about this completely, he'd wanted to bury himself at the news. His voice lost control as he began to explain.

"Well… it all started off with her apologizing. She wanted to say she was sorry… sorry about the way things had been…" James gulped, taking a great amount of courage to form his next words, "between us… and— and then she handed me this…"

From his pocket he retrieved that treasured golden snitch from so many nights ago, it gleamed slightly in his hands, it's little fluttering wings flapping dully in a sorrowful manner, masking James' heartache.

Moony uttered an awestricken swearword.

"Isn't that, isn't that—" Peter stuttered, pointing.

"Yes, it's that bloody snitch you found in the dormitory two months ago… but _she_ apologized, can you believe it? _She_ did! I should have been the one apologizing, but I just stood there with my mouth hanging open like a stupid idiot. I— I didn't even know what to say. Here I was expecting her to admit love or something and I get good bye, nice life, it was fun while it lasted, oh joy!" he cried out sarcastically.

There was silence again, each boy with a look of gravity, hurting for their Prongs. Sirius did think it a bit silly, making such a fuss about a girl, a girl James hadn't even gone with. He could not comprehend, but he could feel James' pain.

"But why?" Moony asked, "She can't just up and leave for no reason, there has to be a reason!"

"She was rather vague on that actually," James said darkly, "called it 'family troubles'. God knows what _that_ means…She might come back, she doesn't know… and now I don't know, _damn! _What a waste of my whole school life!"

Moony was still trying to see past it all. "She doesn't mean permanently does she? You could have mistaken her Prongs."

"No, no," James shook his head. "She made it clear it could be a permanent thing."

"_Could_ be, she didn't say it was going to be."

"C'mon Remus, you know Evans better than I do, you know she's not the type to admit liking someone and stick around to nurture the relationship, that's not Evans. Evans is the sorry type, the kind that will tell you she loves you the day the world comes to an end, and only that day!"

Moony furrowed his brows. "I don't know about that, you didn't drink anything last night, did you?"

The carriages were now rolling into the village. Hogsmeade reminded Remus of a gingerbread fantasyland, frosted in white, festive nearly to excess with garland and holly. The students began piling out of the carriages, pushing and shoving their way into the snow dusted village. Moony dwindled with his baggage; he was one of the few taking the train back to London.

"Write me if there are any new developments," he whispered in Sirius' ear, "and while you're at it, make sure he doesn't kill himself or something," he said chancing wary at look at James.

Sirius hid a smile and nodded, clapping Moony on the back. "That means you too," he said, "stay out of trouble."

"You don't really mean that," Moony smirked.

Sirius threw his head back and laughed loudly. "There's good trouble and bad trouble, stay out of bad trouble… if that makes sense. Oh what the hell, have a happy Christmas mate!"

The Marauders said their reluctant farewells and Peter and Moony traipsed off to the station while James and Sirius were left to wait for their ride back to Godric Hollow.

"Dad said he'd send the cars… there was probably traffic or something. Want a butterbeer while we wait?" James asked, his voice still dragging that melancholy air.

Sirius nodded in agreement. A heavy rush of snow was beginning to fall now and the warmth of the Three Broomsticks and Rosemerta's attention was an attractive offer.

There they waited for a good hour and a half, flirting ridiculously, dangling sprigs of mistletoe over their heads and approaching random females in the pub. This was working in Sirius' favor quite well, as he attracted a group of French female tourists, but James sadly had won the heart of a toothless middle-aged witch, and spent the hour attempting to avoid her. To his great relief, two long limos rumbled into the village square at around twelve thirty.

He immediately grabbed Sirius' arm and pulled him out of the hustle and bustle of the pub into the snow. Sirius gave a reluctant glance back, but his interest was soon caught by the sight of the sleek black limos marked with the ministry emblem, hovering but feet from The Three Broomsticks.

"Finally," James sighed, grinning for the first time all day.

Sirius' jaw dropped. "_This_ is our ride?"

"Yep," James said carelessly, lugging his baggage into one of the trunks that had magically popped itself open. "Dad has priority on this kind of stuff you know. It's a shame he didn't send that retro-hatchback I asked him about. S'got a disco globe thing and all… the chauffeur's this real lusty wench too. Oh well, this'll have to do."

Sirius' mouth was still gapping open. "This'll have to do? Prongs, I've never ridden a limo in my life!"

James stopped a moment and blinked. "There's really nothing special about them, at least the hatchback would have brought girls."

Perhaps James failed to notice the numerous faces pressed against the glass inside the Three Broomsticks goggling at them, or the crowd that had gathered to admire the cars close up… Sirius for one thought him mad. Either way, he quickly wiped the goggly look off his face and replaced it with smugness… Sirius Black in a limo, oh this was good!

"Why are there two?" he asked.

"One to escort, the other for us… makes it ceremonious I guess, I don't know the frilly particulars," he shrugged.

The doors popped open and James slid easily in. Sirius made a hasty business of throwing his things in the trunk before he joined Prongs in the magically expanded leather interior of the sleek '75 Lincoln. It felt wonderfully wonderful to smirk at a jealous Fabien Prewett on the other side of the glass and know he'd just kill to be you. Yes, it was wonderful as the cars rumbled away, leaving great white streaks in the sky, speeding off to holiday freedom.

The trip back to Godric Hollow was a long one, but carefree even so. Any of their previous women woes were forgotten in the gaiety as Sirius and James became rambunctious and cheery, delighting in the alcoholic beverages in the back. They really weren't allowed to have access to these, but managed to unlock the case with the help of Sirius' handy pocketknife. They laughed and sang boisterously with the muggle radio, that is, until the blaring of the song "Brown Eyed Girl" which particularly moved Sirius, making him depressed and a little dizzy. _Must be the alcohol_, he thought and ignored the heartbreaking memory of Elise.

The limos pulled up before the Potter family mansion at about four thirty, and Mrs. Potter discovered them snoring loudly in the back, unskillfully hiding the remnants of their liquor. This perhaps was the reason for the cold greeting they received when she roused them.

"Up, up… get up!" caroled a falsely cheery voice outside Sirius' dreams, which was fast losing its calm. "Up, please boys!"

He heard James jostle noisily awake at his side, snorting groggily, "Aw mum… just-just a minute more _please_."

"A minute more?" snorted Mrs. Potter, who was blurrily fading into Sirius' view.

Observing the memory from afar, Remus recognized the tight short ginger curls in that cut reminiscent of the seventies, slightly short of an afro, and those large hazel eyes framed with thick long lashes beneath great square-lens spectacles. Mrs. Potter had a fetish for v-neck sweaters and as expected, she was sporting a crimson one specked with gold for the holidays. She still had her beauty, that was evident, though hidden behind her glasses and somewhat hideous up-do…this reminded Remus of Elise… the glasses, the hair, all hiding something deep beneath, more than beauty. Sirius must have been thinking similarly because he appeared shy of words, gazing at Mrs. Potter with a bewildered expression.

"A minute more!" she repeated incredulously, "Boys, it's the Christmas holiday, where are your brains? Get up this instant, get out of that car and help your mother make dinner!"

She never really needed help, in fact she never truly needed to make dinner herself, as servants ran in a tizzy around her, but Mrs. Potter had always felt that the makings of a good home started with the maternal touch and so she insisted on making all the meals. James enjoyed the eating part of the helping mind you.

She was holding one of the empty wine bottles up threateningly over James, which caused him to jump to his feet. He attempted to plant a kiss on her cheek, but missed by a mile because his senses were all off tune from the liquor.

"Lovely to see you mum," he said brightly, embracing her clumsily.

"I'm sure," she muttered darkly and examining the label of the bottle in hand. "I can see you already had a bit of holiday cheer before you came!"

James blinked wildly, trying to get her in focus, as he covered up stupidly, "It was just lying around in the car, it really was! We didn't know it was alcoholic… you should tell dad to complain. You know ministry cars shouldn't carry that kind of thing! Hazardous it is—"

"Lying around _my broom! _Load of rubbish if you ask me, and to inflict your best friend with that drink of Satan, why James Potter I am ashamed you!"

Sirius mumbled something from inside the car, probably trying to defend James in some way. Mrs. Potter scrambled to his side right away.

"Oh dear boy, now Sirius, let me help you out properly… oh that's it now… oh you poor dear, just look at you."

Sirius' body swerved dangerously towards the ground as he tried to remove himself from the vehicle with Mrs. Potter's aid, James was just awake enough to catch him before he hit his head.

"Stand back James, really, you've helped quite enough!" she snapped shooing him back.

Remus grinned, Annabel (more preferably known as Annie) Potter had always rather fancied Sirius. It had something to do with his spunk and carefree nature that brought her to fondle him so, and even now when she was aware he was most likely the booze-provoking culprit, she still crooned over him like a pigeon in that placid maternal way.

"It wasn't too long a trip, now was it?" she asked, holding Sirius upright, for his legs still did not feel his own, bending and swooping against his will like wet noodles.

"No-no, not too—" Sirius hiccoughed. "Not too long."

"Gabel would have liked to greet you himself, but he's meeting with the French representative, checking holiday security you know, must keep international relations in tip top— _James Potter, egad! _Get yourself out of that planter!" and then she turned to Sirius whispering, "Devils drink, really it is, falling into planters, mumbling nonsense… well I just hope we don't have guests!"

The soft falling of snow blurred before Remus, the Potter's great Tudor mansion was fast fading from view, and a distant crackling sounded behind his ears. Suddenly he found himself in a large circular room, dimly lit by a fire blazing merrily in a marble hearth. The walls were papered in a kingly red toileand two canopied beds were stationed at either side of the cozy room. Sirius and James were found lying on their stomachs, pulling at the loose threads on the afghan rug, talking of nothing.

"Does your mum always make this bug a fuss about the holidays? I mean, it's the first time I've ever seen her this excited about anything," Sirius said.

"Eh," James shrugged. "When she has time, this will be my last Christmas home… well no, there's next year, but I guess she's just getting sentimental. She says things are going too fast, hell! I don't think they're going fast enough. She neared cried her eyes out when I turned sixteen. I guess it's an only child thing… damn, I wish I had siblings, maybe she'd get off me!"

"Nah…she's not so bad," Sirius smiled. "and siblings aren't what you'd make out, they're more a curse than a blessing."

"They aren't for some people," James said softly.

Sirius shot him a dubious glance, "I can't think of _anyone_ who would say so. Take Evans even, the sweetest lock of love on campus and even she complains about what a damn bitchy witch her sister is, oh there's hate there!"

James frowned a little. "Did she say her sister was a bitch, or did you?"

"Well, she might as well have said it. She probably would have too if I wasn't standing there."

James looked forward and said flatly, "Even so, I still don't think she hates her."

"Oh you're a rotten judge of character Prongs, you don't know left from right in the female brain, and you're trying to figure out Evans, good luck!"

James' face reddened somewhat. "Like you're the authority on it all! If you understand the female mind so well explain Collier to me, explain _her_."

There was silence.

"I didn't say I understood all of them," Sirius mumbled lamely. "Half the time I don't even think Collier's human…"

James shot him a shady look and gazed back into the flames. "Oh… and isn't there something you want to tell me about that?" he asked innocently.

"About what?" Sirius asked quickly.

"Collier," James shrugged simply, raising himself up from the rug and yawning greatly.

"No," Sirius snapped back.

"Oh, well I thought you might."

James turned away, pretending to get ready for bed, as he scrambled through various articles in his sock drawer. There was a long moment with words unspoken until Sirius finally cracked, not being able to stand it any longer.

"So I spent the night in the girls' dormitory, what do you want to know about it? Nothing happened!"

James spun around, eyes wide, "Ah hah! So you did, you did go up without me! Were you with Collier?"

Sirius bobbed his shoulders in half a shrug, suddenly very terse and stiff. "And if I was, what does it matter?"

"_Matter?_ Sirius what did you do, what happened?"

"Nothing, really nothing."

James snorted and gave him the skeptical brow raise. It was ticking Sirius' nerve.

"Aw Prongs, really, you think _Collier_ would actually do anything?"

"With the infamous Sirius Black, I don't know."

"Oh, you have to be kidding me! Nothing happened, nothing did! So we were in the same bed, so I stayed all night, so what, nothing happened!"

"Sounds like a hell of a lot right there. Oh and nothing happened, you just happened to get a good shag out of it too, but nothing happened, I can't believe you won't even tell _me_!"

Sirius' eyes raged with frustration. "You want to know, you want to know whole juicy story, well fine! Prewett made a faggy remark, she cried, went up to her chamber, I felt bad and followed. Boo hoo hoo, nothing else! I was Padfoot, I was with her, there you have it Prongs!"

He had spat the story out in a matter of seconds and now it came back to him in a painful rush. It all had meant so much to him, touched him in a very deep place, and in five seconds he had stripped it down to a worthless tale of a boy's sympathy, his feeling sorry, forcing Elise back into that poor pathetic, socially backward image as before.

He felt guilty about it all… guilt was an all too common emotion these days.

"You felt _sorry_ for her?" James wrinkled his nose. "Padfoot you fancy her? Spinster Collier, Little Miss Ug—"

"Shut the hell up, okay? Just-just don't call her that," Sirius blazed, breathing hard, hot with frustration, torn and confused, not even knowing why. Why was telling James so difficult, was he ashamed of her? _No, no that couldn't be it, it couldn't…_

"What, are you on guilt trip? You know you were the one that came up with that, I don't know what you're yelling at me for!" James yelled back.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," Sirius said quickly, wanting to brush this whole conversation under the rug. "I didn't mean it, alright? I'm just…" he trailed off, and groaned, falling back into his bed.

"Can you blame me for feeling a little guilty? _Little Miss Ugly_… oh what the hell what I thinking?"

James' jaw dropped and he murmured flabbergasted, "Amazing."

Sirius sat up. "What is?"

"You, feeling sorry, apologizing, isn't that a first? I think she's changed you, one night with Collier and Padfoot's lost his mind… you're in love mate!" James beamed.

"Idiot, I'm not in love," Sirius snapped. "you are, with Evans. Just because we're mates doesn't mean we share brainwaves. Thank God, I'd be failing charms."

"That you would," James grinned, but his face slowly drooped to seriousness. "Honestly, what happened? I mean, why do you think you feel that way?"

"How am I supposed to know the complexities of my own mind?" Sirius asked irritably. "How am I supposed to know anything? I don't even get love, actually. The closest thing I've ever known to love is a good shag and a snog, that's love to me."

It sounded savage, so primitive to his own ears, but that was all he knew. Love was pleasure to Sirius, the act of appeasing oneself, feeling good for a time, if only temporarily, never eternally… that was unfathomable. He heard love was more, but he had never truly seen it, and perhaps only witnessed a spark of it in the Potter home.

James nodded solemnly, taking Sirius' words in, mulling them over. It was best not to say anything now, they both knew that. Collier, well _love_ for that matter, was a delicate subject, and this was supposed to be the holiday break. They wanted no mess here, let Christmas be clean and simple, get through with it, and then maybe they'd worry about things. An argument was undesirable on both sides.

James had changed into his pajamas, those lovely striped numbers you see five year olds wearing, it distracted Sirius' thoughts.

"I should have brought my camera," said Sirius, pulling his shirt over his head (N/A:_Amalynne swoons_) and slipping on a gray sweat shirt.

"Why?" James asked, distracted with the buttons up his front.

"Because you look so cute in your ity bity jamies Jamsie."

James looked up and grinned crookedly. "You know you like them. They remind me of home, I'd only ever wear them here. I bet there's some stuffed bear lying around at your house that you drooled on as a kid, don't tell me you never had any homey comforts."

"Really, where can I find a pair like that for myself?" Sirius teased and gave himself one last winner look in the mirror before crashing down into the pillows of the bed opposite James'.

"Be careful how loud you say that, you don't want mum getting you some for Christmas," James warned, bringing the covers up around himself.

Silence fell again as both boys faked dream beneath their blankets, each wide awake, maddened by thought. Sirius could tell James was still dwelling on it, he could sense the tension, the heartbreak still left from Evans. It was always Evans with James, when it came down to it, it was always Evans.

"You could always try writing her, you know, mate," Sirius said, reading his best friend's mind.

James sighed and lifted his head off the pillow so he could see Sirius. "Yeah I could, couldn't I? I was going to suggest the same for you and Collier, what is it really between you two, does she fancy you too?"

"I think so," Sirius murmured faintly, staring at the ceiling. "I wouldn't be so damn hung up over her if it weren't for that night when Moony… Oh I don't even know if that was it, it's just— she's beautiful Prongs, she really is, and it's different, it's not like it's ever been I mean, spooky even."

"What is?"

"How I think I feel about her," Sirius' voice cracked and he had to stop, he never cried, this was no time to cry, he would contain.

There was a lull and James spoke again.

"Sirius?"

"Huh?"

"Do you love her, really, do you?"

To keep it all back, Sirius snarled tetchily, "How am I supposed to know, James? Love to me is a good shag and snog!"

There was silence once and for all, brooding silence, James with secrets, and Sirius with his, never so alienated as friends. Sirius lay pondering over the night, over his words. Everything he had said had contradicted everything he felt, and he thought it a terrific lie. If love was just a good shag and snog, there was no substance to it, it was meaningless. But he had neither shagged nor snogged Elise and still, deep down in his heart's crevices, he felt he loved her.

Yes, he decided, he loved her, in the oddest of ways he did, but now the question was more so, did she love him? How very confusing love was to Sirius Black.

Scrawled messily for the December 24th entry was this…

_Write Elise_.

* * *

>>

Responses from last chapter… (though I doubt you remember what you wrote 2 months ago. –Ama

**_Doodleflip_**: I hope to keep up the trend. ;)

**_brennQT_**: You are always such a loyal reviewer, luv you lil sis. I want to give Sirius a big hug and a kiss too… I promise I'll make things happier for him in later chapters.

**_Midnight_**: Okay, kick me, go and kick me, it has been forever and you have been so awesome thru it all. Hope life is treating you fair babe, and always appreciate the commentary. –Ami

**_Twinklewind_**: I seriously blushed when I read your review, your story is really good too, plz keep it up, reviews don't equal the stories worth. Thanx so much!

**_Thorn of Blood_**: I know I made Fabien a real irky turd in the last chap, but I have my reasons (wink wink), I am so a Lily type of girl and so it's easy for me to write her insecurities… I am so damn shy, it's really a problem… I should fix that problem, anyway, thanx for the review ).

**_Sacagawea_**: I know I didn't exactly explain what happened between Lily and James in this chap, but next chapter will really explain that stuff. Glad your liking it.

**_Forrest_**: Sirius loves you for saying so!

**_Zippyfox_**: I really feel so bad for not contacting you! You made mention of an idea for my other fic Prongs the Patronous and I totally forgot, I'm so sorry. Really if you have any ideas for any of my fics, I'd love to hear from you! Email me, and I'm so happy you're liking this one.

**_Spankee_**: No, McGavott isn't being too hot of a girl friend to Moony is she? Maybe he should dispose of her soon… I'm not liking her much either. Thanx for reading.

**_CALANDRINA_**: Woo hoo, all the way from mugglenet, thanx babe! I really wish I could keep posting stuff there, but they tell me I have too many errors, what the hey! Anyhoo, Ooh I want Sirius to be real too, Rowling made him gorgeous, so many talented people have made him SO HOT! Read _Padfoot Prohibited_, I luv that fic!

**_Heather_**: You are too sweet! It makes me glow inside that I can make someone's day like that… oh that really should be my mission statement.

**_Trovia_**: Wow! German, that is so cool! You didn't have too many errors in your review and I understood you just fine, thanks for correcting my "Gesundheit" error, hee hee, now we're equal. Hope you keep reading, and I hope to clear up some of the things that might have been confusing.

**_Myth and Magic_**: Hey hey, another mugglenet immigrant, cool! I've written more upon your request, hope you liked it. ;)

**_Smiley_** **_Person_**: You know you are not sad and have no life, imagine how sad I am to absorb myself in nothing but the fanfic world and miraculously only pop out a chapter every eon. You are amazing and blessed and thnx for the review btw.

**_Aelys_**: Ooh thank you a million billion!

Okay, now you know the drill leave a review… or I just might do something crazy like commit suicide or something, I think I've told you that the success of my fic determines my happiness. So to stab you with sympathy… **_REVIEW_**!


	17. Dreadful Discoveries

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all the rights and characters, I own nothing… quite thankfully, that would be massive stress I'll tell you.

N/A: I am doubting my ability to write… or write worthy fanfiction for that matter. Reviews are always appreciated. Over 200 reviews? Wow! Thank you all, lets keep it up, and I hope this isn't too late. ;) Love you all and may we commence with **_la vie de mon Sirius…._**

It was the wildest winter break of the seventies, of a lifetime! James nor Sirius could wade in their worry a moment longer, the excitement of youth was calling their names. So, it was out in the ice, snow and cheer of the wizarding town of Godric Hollow that two sixteen-year-olds set out to a bit of mischief. Sirius entered the town with visions of trouble, of reeking his own personal havoc, of perhaps getting a little drunk, a little laid (to be completely blunt), sample sin and toy with fate… it was the only way to get _her_ off his mind.

He hadn't made any commitments, they weren't a couple, they weren't anything yet. Sirius Black was a free man, and for the holidays he would live like a free man. This attitude was contagious, and soon James had caught the fever. I have to say though, it all started with Sirius' wild idea to get tattoos. Yes, tattoos, the first of his extensive collection…

**December 28th 1975: **

Snow fell in rushes outside grease streaked windows, and a single candle flickered in a wavering breeze, its light casting long dark shadows against the walls of a rickety wooden shack-like dwelling. Sirius and James hovered over a large, crumbly black book, noting the obscene and intriguing pictures on the yellow, tea stained paper.

From the corner a sinister looking geezer scratched gruffly at his patchy, whiskered beard. His eyes gleamed a menacing ice blue, and one could see even in the dim light that the whites were slow falling to glossy opalescent clouds.

"Bout ready?" he growled in a thick Irish brogue, glaring in Sirius' direction.

"Just about," Sirius muttered, as his eyes fell on the picture of a star constellation etched crudely into the book.

"Hey… look at that!" he breathed to James, pointing to the picture. "What do you think about that one for me?"

"Wicked! Dogstar… that's _your_ constellation, Sirius!" James flipped the page. "I was thinking this one for me." He traced his finger to the picture of a scantily clad woman… well, a completely unclad woman to be honest.

Sirius raised his brows and whistled in a low tone. "How would your mum feel about that one?" he asked with a half grin.

"She won't see it anyway," James said with a wave of his hand.

Sirius shrugged, turning back the page. "Maybe you should stick with something modest, now what about this cute imp here, she's clad… and um, quite… er, queenly."

James made a skeptical sound in his throat. "_Queenly_?" he hissed. "You just want that other one for yourself!"

"And if I do? _I_ don't have a mother to scold me for it," Sirius drawled with snobbish inflection.

"You have a mother, just not one that cares," James mumbled resentfully.

"Stick with something safe Prongs."

Sirius looked up and hailed the old man in the corner. "I want this one!" he said, flipping the page back to the Dogstar. "And if you could add a little something else…"

Without warning, the scene blurred. Sirius and James were traipsing back up the white fleeced walkway to the Potter estate, the wind whipping them every which way as they approached the inviting lights of the house. The boys talked quietly, watching their breath materialize into the air, and silently cursing themselves for forgetting their wands… it would have been a lot less frosty business had they remembered them.

James shivered and rubbed his shoulder. "It still stings," he chattered.

"Of course it still stings," said Sirius. "It's only been an hour! Just don't rub it like that; you don't want your mum to know, do you?"

"What I don't understand is why you're holding out so well! That thing damn near covers your whole back… bet that gnarly old snot used the same dirty needle on me or something," grumbled Prongs as they reached the porch. James took a silent moment to examine the front door, which was dressed in a festive red and green, and accented with a ghauty gold wreath. James had always secretly resented these hideous holiday adornments his mother dug up, but he never had the heart to tell her how terribly cheap they made the house look. They were like ill an ill fitting dress on a fair figure, speaking of fair figures, he remembered the one of fresh on his shoulder.

James lowered his voice to a whisper, conscious that there might be listening ears on the other side of the door. "Now, I want you to show me that invisibility trick when we get inside. I don't know how long it'll be before mum finds out about this."

"No," Sirius smirked, "wouldn't want _her_ to see, or Lily either. I don't know how she'd take a naked wench on your shoulder—"

James' expression darkened. "Shut up about her! What are you trying to do, ruin my holiday?"

Sirius stepped back, as James seethed to his face. "My feelings are just a little fragile at the moment, my arm is throbbing, I could scream bloody murder and you mention _Evans_? Fine timing!"

"James, no… I honestly forgot, I didn't mean it mate, sorry I—"

The front door swung open. Mrs. Potter's beaming, flushed face greeted them with a jubilant cry. "Oh you're back! Good, I have cider ready."

Sirius and James stood blinking at her, a little shocked that they weren't staring at the ugly wreath anymore.

"In, come _in_!" she urged. "If you catch your death of cold I'll… oh just hand me your coat now, Sirius dear." She ushered them into the hall, bustling about them, hanging up coats, and dusting snow off James.

"I'd wondered when you two were coming back… it's so dark for midday. I didn't know what became of you, and then I had planned to go out myself."

They followed her down into the stately furnished sitting room where freshly lit logs consumed in flame blazed in the grate.

"You're going out?" James asked, just coming to comprehend his mother's words.

"Yes," she said, "Immediately."

She scooped up some articles she had lying on a chaise, and tied a scarf warmly about her neck.

"Good, I mean… oh alright," James said quickly, trying best to disguise his joy.

Mrs. Potter knew him too well however. "Don't sound so upset about it, really! Now James, I'll just be out a while; a woman down in Levifeather has a new collection of Potted Paisleys I'm interested in for spring. There should be some cake left, and you can boil some water for tea… I just wish I hadn't let the hired help off now, I know everyone has to have a holiday, but I'm not happy leaving you here alone… you know that James, I'm just not happy about it," she said matter-of-factly.

"What makes you not trust us?" James asked innocently.

"Oh, only the fact that you both, together, have acquired too many detentions to count. And if you'll recall… certain events last summer, certain events meaning your befriending of the garden gnomes and granting them residence to your parents' bedroom! I won't have that again do you hear me? Do you hear me James Potter?"

James frowned at his mother pensively. "Is that a rhetorical question, or might I just not answer if you please, mother dear? Oh c'mon mum, you know I'm just joshing… honest, we'll be good."

"Honest, honest, _goodness_… well I'll see you in a few hours dear," Mrs. Potter pecked a kiss on James' cheek, swung her bulky red handbag over her shoulder and disappeared into the glowing green flames of the hearth.

Sirius sighed in disappointment. He had counted on an afternoon of motherly pampering, some tea and a crumpet or two, just relaxing as he gleefully held the morbid secret of his tattoo. He suddenly became aware of the ponderous look on James face, knowing his mind was concocting some wicked dastardly plan.

James turned to Sirius. "Want to play some quidditch?"

"We just got out of the cold, now you want to go back into it? Unless you have an indoor pitch, I'd really rather not."

"Indoor pitch? Don't be ridiculous, we can still play!" said James with an impish grin.

"Where do you suggest then?"

"Tell me, have you ever heard of house quidditch?"

So much for a peaceful afternoon.

Christmas had been a joyous affair, as it always was in the Potter home, and neither Sirius nor James fell short of their usual holiday haul. James received a spectacular racing broom, as did Sirius… a nimbus 1000 to be exact… Sirius thanked the Potters profusely, but that is completely off topic. Anyway, the boys had put their new Christmas presents to use, enjoying their first ever game of house quidditch… their first and their last, after Mrs. Potter found out.

_Whiz, woosh… crash!_ These were the sounds to be heard in the Potter mansion from inside out. Remus nearly ducked when a vase was jettisoned towards his head, except he realized he was impervious to the memory.

"When is your mum coming home again?" Sirius yelled down the hall, as he steadied himself on his broom, dodging the soaring cutlery that whizzed past his cheek.

He snatched up the nearest article, which happened to be a collectable china tea pot, and made use of it as a bludger, hurling it down the hall where he had seen a peek of James. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead, and he had found that he had striped down to a tee-shirt and trousers. A mess had amassed all throughout the south wing of the house, and Sirius barely had a chance to glimpse at it, when a little shot of gold whisked past him. He wasn't quick enough.

A shock of black hair and one rush of a broom later, James hovered before him with the little golden snitch struggling in his fingers.

"Sorry mate," he said, grinning and breathless, "my win."

"Bully for you," Sirius grumbled, as his broom drifted down to the floor, his feet now dangling against the hard wood surface. He dismounted. "When will your mum be back anyway? Looks like there's a lot to clean up."

James looked about him, noting the shattered and broken articles, mostly his mothers fine china and vase collection, among some sorry looking mirrors and an assortment of pots and pans that had accumulated in various places. Neither of them really knew how that happened. The mess was overwhelming, James would rather play another round than tend to it.

"How about another?" he asked.

Sirius shook his head wildly. "Two to two, there, now can we stop?" Sirius wheezed. "Four- four rounds of this and I think I'm about ready to pass out."

James was looking slightly nauseous himself, swaying a little, and gripping at his shoulder. Yes, it was certainly time to quit.

"Does it still hurt mate?" Sirius asked, the tattoo had left a burning impression on his own back, he wondered how James was fairing.

"I think I bruised it a few minutes ago, you didn't have to hurl that pot at me, quite unnecessary… I'm in killer pain, maybe I'll get some ice… the area is still tender if you get my meaning."

Sirius felt awfully bad when he clapped James in a brotherly manner on that very shoulder.

To say Mrs. Potter was angry when she came back to the mess in the hallway was an understatement. She breathed fire; literally, James had never seen it before. He supposed the holidays had gone to her head, and didn't mind it at all when she confined them to the room upstairs (they were both in need of a good snoozing). It was next day when it all really happened…

**December 29th 1975:**

Morning, it was morning again. Remus could tell by the brightness of light that peeped in through the curtains. A lump of blankets groaned on one of the beds, and Remus assumed it was James. A winter lark twittered outside the window, peaceful morning sounds… sounds that were soon broken by the rude morning wake up call from Sirius.

"Oh Lily, Lily, Lily!" he cried into his pillow.

James sat bolt upright in his bed, hair so untidy that it was as if he had jabbed his finger in an electrical outlet. He glared across the room, blinking blearily. "Oh shut up! I wasn't nearly that loud, I—" James was caught in an open confession.

Sirius threw his head back laughing richly. "Since when did you name your pillow Lily? Really, go some place private and snog—"

"Oh shut up. Like you haven't had… dreams."

Sirius was still laughing, quite bemused with his little joke. "You don't mind if I borrow Lily do you, Prongs?" Sirius squeezed his pillow affectionately.

"That is not Lily, _this_ is Lily!" James proclaimed raising his own feather tuft.

Sirius jeered, "Scandalous."

"I said _shut up!_" James threw the pillow across the room towards Sirius' head.

Sirius caught it abruptly and admired it, crying out devilishly, "Oh Lily, my heart, my lover! Oh darling we are together at last! Prongs you give her to me so freely."

James leapt from his bed and snatched "Lily" back.

"If you don't mind," he said irritably, "I'd like to enjoy the holidays and forget about girls for once!"

"How easy is that with such a lusty one on your shoulder," Sirius smirked.

There came a soft rapping at the bedroom door. James suddenly became self-conscious about the volume of his voice, ssh-ing Sirius to stop laughing.

"Sod off," he hissed, and went to answer it.

"Yes?" he called in his most pleasant morning voice.

The dulcet, chiming voice that belonged to Mrs. Potter was muffled through the wood. "If you dears are ready, breakfast is served..."

"You mean you're not still mad at us?" he asked warily.

"Mad?" her voice rung with false ignorance. "Why would I be mad? Now be down please, there are some things that came for you. It's nearly ten."

There was silence at the door and he assumed that she had left.

"C'mon," James said, shuffling back to his bed post, where he retrieved a crimson robe and wrapped it about himself. "Lets hurry, she'll be in another mood if we don't."

Sirius stretched greatly, whining like a dog as he yawned. "Chipper, can I bring _Lily_ with me?"

James rolled his eyes and the boys started to make the journey to breakfast. All the way down the spiraled staircase James kept nursing his shoulder, massaging it and making slight grimaces. He couldn't hide the apparent fact that his arm was still experiencing twinges of pain.

"Tattoo still burns?" Sirius asked out of the corner of his mouth.

"No! that bludger you whacked me with yesterday left a big bloody bruise... and I can't ask mum for the _Miracle Rub_ because it happens to be in the exact same place as the wench!"

They were approaching the dining room, Sirius lowered his voice. "Oh lighten up, you're not in mortal peril, ice it later."

That ended their conversation for the moment , because they had reached the elegant dining area, cloaked in royal blue. Fine lacquered black wood chairs with high backs and great embroidered cushions surrounded a vast narrow table that covered the length of the room. The fine china (the ones that hadn't been shattered) had been stationed at each place, and several house elves buzzed about with trays of fruit and bread. One was balancing a pitcher of milk on his head... Remus marveled at this.

"Jam!" Sirius requested as he buttered a crumpet half, a batty eyed elf dashed to his assistance.

James all the while was making a makeshift ice pack with the chilled fruit bowl, this happened at the same moment Mrs. Potter entered the room.

"James, what is it that you are doing? she asked, hands on her hips, a bewildered expression washing over her face, yet again befuddled with her sons odd quirks... probably wondering which side of the family he inherited it from.

James flushed red and quickly put down the bowl. "Um... ahh, testing it's um... freshness, it's a new trick. I read about it in Witch Weekly... your arm will get um-- hot if the fruit is spoiled, everything looks good here... good and cold...heh." James was silently cursing himself for such a ridiculous cover up. He promptly drowned his embarrassment in a glass of water.

"Since when have you been reading Witch Weekly?" Mrs. Potter frowned suspiciously.

James cleared his throat, giving himself more time to think. "Uh... Remus orders it-- for the recipes. I read it sometimes... don't think I'm completely uncultured! They uh, also get some good looking witches on the cover."

Mrs. Potter snorted. "You think I'm actually going to believe that? Those women are twice your age!"

"James likes older women," Sirius said with a wink.

Mrs. Potter pursed her lips and shrugged, realizing it was hopeless. "Hmm, I must not have read that article."

They took their breakfast silently. The light clink of fork against plate and the breaking of bread were the only disruptions save for the strange windmill motions James was making with his arm... apparently trying to get a kink out.

It didn't pass his mother's attention. "All right dear? Did you do something to yourself... you're awful fidgety."

"Just a bit sore mum, it's nothing serious... slept on it awkward most likely."

He jumped when she extended a hand to examine it.

"No mum!" he cried. "It's fine, please!"

"Don't make a fuss, I'm your mother for goodness sake, I know how to treat these kind of things... now just cooperate and let me look at it please."

"No!" James was standing up now, backing away towards the wall.

Mrs. Potter sighed restlessly. "Honestly, how old are you? Let me peek at it, if you don't I'll be sending you toSt. Mungos tethered to cot... now stand still you silly boy!"

"No, no..." he whined. "_Mummy!_"

It was hopeless, she had her wand drawn, her countenance marked with exasperation. "Let's see it," she ordered. "Roll up your sleeve now, or I'll do it for you... lets see it James."

There wasn't one single ray of hope of James Potter, and Sirius held his breath, waiting for the final blow. James whimpered, slowy drawing up his shirt sleeve...

At this time I would like to say that the sounds that emitted from Mrs. Potter's mouth were legendary to the Potter manor. The walls of the house had never heard such colorful language, such profanities... Sirius made an unwelcome comment that he was shocked that she knew French.

The swearing soon subsided to yelling and accusations that were a bit more bearable. "And what's next?" she was crying out. "Long hair, free love, a nose ring? Or- or body piercings like those barbaric African wizards?"

"It's just a tattoo mum!" James was yelling back now.

Her eyes widened incredulously. "_Just_ a tattoo, it's permanent isn't it?"

"It was done in a muggle place, I don't know... I guess it's removable."

"Well then get it removed!" she ordered. "Get it off, I won't have it in this house!"

"But mum..."

But... she wasn't listening, she was circling about, fingers massaging her forehead, an area that was enraged in a wracking migraine. "Well..." she mused. "It's not permanent, thank God it's not. You don't know how many times I'd wished your father had been able remove his!"

"Dad has one?" James burst excitedly. "Where?"

Mrs. Potter looked shocked, realizing what had just come from her mouth. "Oh! Nothing, nothing at all James, no questions! Get- get that thing off or I'll do it myself."

"Well what about Sirius?"

Sirius glared at James, swearing quietly under his breath.

"Sirius has one too?" Mrs. Potter cried. "Oh Lord, oh Lord! You boys! Let's see it Sirius."

"See what?"'

"You know what... did he make you get one too?" Mrs. Potter asked accusingly.

"Hey it was Sirius'--" James began.

"Enough! Just enough! Sirius isn't my son, you are James... and though I disagree with his decision, I have no control over his actions."

Thought the comment was true, Sirius couldn't help but feel a twinge of something constrict in his chest.

James opened his mouth, but said nothing. Mrs. Potter's order seemed to be the final word. James would wait until his father got home for the real punishment and just endure the day miserably. He could get away with anything, anywhere, except home.

"Oh! I nearly forgot with all this hullabaloo, there are letters waiting for the both of you in the library... I can't believe all the things you put me through, I..." Mrs. Potter went rambling off, muttering to herself as she left them.

The library was empty save for Sir Spudnikmuffin, the Potter family cat who was purring loudly on a large stuffed lounger.

"Oh get up you furry wad!" James swatted at the ginger bandy-legged cat. "You're hogging the whole damn couch!"

Sir Spudnik opened one yellow, almond shaped eye, studying James up and down. He yawned sporadically in a high pitched whine and stretched his weird fluffy legs, taking his time about moving. He glared in James' direction, swished his tail and bounded from the cushions, brushing past Sirius' leg as he left.

"It's because he's part kneazle, they're all pains, those kinds of cats," James said.

Well you'd try your best to be a pain to masters who gave you the name Sir Spudnikmuffin, now wouldn't you?

"This it?" Sirius asked, fingering the edges of the cream colored envelope on the kingly marble mantle. His name was sketched upon it in an undistinguishable narrow script "_S. Black_... First Class Post."

"Muggle mail? That's odd," James said, tearing open his own letter.

Odd indeed, but Sirius had a feeling about this, there was something dark in this envelope he held . He would wait until James was finished, there was something fishy about it.

James whipped the parchment out of the envelope, his eyes quickly flew to the bottom of the page and he yelped aloud when he read the signature.

"Who's it from Prongs?" Sirius asked.

James licked his lips twice before answering, his eyes flashing rapidly from the letter to Sirius' face and back again. "She wrote back," he breathed. "I can't believe she wrote me back..."

"Who?"

"Evans... she's- she's in Surrey with her sister..." he looked over the letter, mumbling random words as he read. "Bla bla bla... oh! her parents never came back from the states... investigation is under way, she's helping her sister get settled in... she's very worried about her parents, bla bla bla... will be back before February--_HALLELUJAH!_ -- oh, but she doesn't know... well that's good new isn't it?" he asked merrily, folding the letter into his robe.

"Good news? I could hardly make it out with all your blubbering," Sirius smirked.

"Evans parents have gone missing, they were last seen on holiday in the states, upon the night they were set to return to London, they disappeared, no trace... curious."

"Not so curious," Sirius said darkly. "With people like the Lestranges and my parents, muggles don't have a chance... that's my wager on the matter."

"She's in Surrey though... hmm, a little far, but do you think she'd mind a visit?"

"Wait James, don't you think you're jumping to things? Do you really think Evans would want to see _you_ at a time like this; where's your sense of sympathy?" Sirius asked, almost amused.

"Oh! Oh no, no I didn't mean it like that," James stuttered alarmingly. "It's only... I'm relieved she's okay, you know. That's shocking about her parents, but... it hasn't quite hit me yet."

"Well then I wouldn't go visit her until it has," Sirius said and then he turned his attention to the letter in his own hands.

**_S. Black_**... the letters bore dark into his mind, jagged narrow things, with ostentatious way about them. Without more than a thought, tore at the wax sealer, suddenly recognizing the emblem... the Black family crest. His body went cold, a fearful rush tingling through his limbs as his mind devoured the words.

_Sirius-_

_I have just recently learned of your new position in Godric Hollow. This grueling bit of information was passed on to me by one of my colleagues under the name of Snape. I believe you attend school with his amiable son. Regulus has also informed me of your brash and brazen actions, far exceeding your highly uncalled for split to the Potters last summer. If you don't remember, we here at home still receive all notices of your unruly behavior and numerous detentions. Furthermore, the Sinistras made complaint of your actions towards their daughter, which was a most abashing disgrace for the family, as I am in a close knit business partnership with her father. _

_I am aware that you are spending theholiday with the Potters once more, and since I doubt we can settle on agreement in this area, I am going to propose an arrangement. If you do not remove your filthy hide from the premises within the next forty-eight hours, I will deprive you entirely of any family inheritance you would have received prior to now. In addition, I will promptly disown you. You of course still have forty-eight hours with which to come to your senses and beg pardon. Please ponder this wisely, I am not a man of second chances, as you know. You are old enough to understand and I would not advise you to stain the family name further,_

_Best wishes,_

_- Father _

In other words, _Get your ass back home immediately or you are no longer my son_, thought Sirius.

Fine! That was fine! His family was here, not there... here where people valued him, even if he did haul in 125 detentions per year, even if he was a Gryffindor.

"Sirius, Sirius..." James' voice sounded out of the fog. "You alright mate? Who's it from, Sirius, you well?

Sirius shook it off. "No- no, I'm fine... no- no I'm not..." he fumbled with the words. "It's just that I was right, I'm in deep shit, it's my dad."

James snatched it from him. "And it's not a Howler either? That's new..." his eyes flashed over the letter, growing wide and narrowing. "Ooh... hm...oh this is," his voice dropped and rose dramatically.

"This is dreadful," Sirius finished for him, glowering into the flames of the hearth.

"What'll you do?" James asked quietly.

"Dunno, maybe I just won't do anything. Maybe I'll just continue being a lousy son... I dunno. I'm-- I need to go do something."

Sirius turned to leave. How strange it was that not but fifteen minutes ago he had been worried about the discovery of his tattoo and now... well, things were much more serious.

"You're not going to give in?" James asked in a worried tone.

Sirius sighed heavily. "No."

"Where are you going then? Want some cider to drown him out of your thoughts..."

"I was thinking more like firewhiskey."

That very important thing Sirius had to do was write in his diary... Remus read heavy hearted.

_I thought when I abandoned Grimmauld Place last summer that I was rid of him... them for good. I never counted on trouble like this. It was stupid, I know, to think he wouldn't come back, hounding after me, forcing that Black magic shit down my throat, finding some weasley way to get me back under his hold... It's like prisonm that damn house, that wretched hag, my mother holds the keys and my father is there bolting the door, standing against it... never willing to let me out. That's what pops into my head every time I think of home. _

_I've made him even more frightening in my dreams. It's pathetic that I should even dream of capture at all.. and it's like all these months, even in school, I've been on the run from something, and now I think that something is in my own head... it's my own damn family!_

_I wish I could move to the moon, build myself a nice peaceful little shack out of moon rocks and just watch the world from there. Lonely, yes it'd be lonely, but I think I'd prefer it that way... for a while at least. I wonder if that rumor is true that a Nimbus 1000 can take you to the moon? Not that I'm in any position to do that now anyway, but... can't my father take a hint!_

_Can't he just accept my "incompetence," my disobedience, my flaws, and let me be the "bad egg" for crissake! He has so clearly stated that I'm a disgrace, let me be! I want to be a disgrace more than anything. I'll stain his name with so much goodness that it will make him sick, I'll get some muggle loving ministry job that will make his soul wrethe, then I'll marry some poor muggle off the streets and we'll have 20 mudblood children just to rub it in. And after I'm Minister of Magic and finished sending Regulus to Azkaban for being born ugly, I'll raise a statue right in front of Grimmauld Place that will say "Endearingly to my father who taught me shit." And maybe if I'm lucky, he'll look at it, and keel over in death for shame. _

_It breaks me to realize how much hate there is, just waiting, bubbling up and waiting to come out. I just hope I don't do anything too stupid when it does, like that curse I bound to Elise. I find I do most of my stupid things when I'm frustrated or just hot mad about something. Of course I can't just blow up in someone's face for no reason, so instead I turn Diggory's hair into an afro, I coat the boy's lavatory pink, I grab Stevens and snog her for no reason in the world. These actions usually result in my detentions and all I can think is that I must be angry quite a lot. _

_That bookcase over on the opposite wall looks quite good to bang my head against at the moment, but I doubt Mrs. Potter would appreciate me denting it. Denting it... dear old dad knew how to dent me in very well. Even now I still shake to think of it, his belt. He wouldn't dare now that I'm older, but he might use his wand... like the day I ran off to Godric Hollow last summer. If I think about it hard enough, I can still hear the sharp whiplash and that voice... damn it I hate that voice! No, no, I won't open that door, it doesn't help to think about it anyway, what would is some cider and a dreamless slumber... oh screw it, I wonder if James' dad kept that keg of firewhiskey in the back._

**December 31st 1975: **

Bright flashes of color and rushes of confetti fell from the ceiling. It was the Potter's new year's celebration. Family and friends had been invited to the festive occasion... yet for Sirius it was still a melancholy affair. The hands on the clock ticked minutes away, precious minutes that ended this year... ended this year of woes and women troubles, of revelations and full moons and Marauders.

A quarter till... that's how long was left. Sirius was dressed to impress, suave in black, but hardly feeling as good as he looked. The admirers that stayed clipped to his either side laughed jovially, giggled brightly and talked of senseless nothing, he was putting on quite a good show despite the fact, truly trying to enjoy himself, but since the letter he could not seem to reach a state of contentment. James was off somewhere with an Amalynne, or whatever her name was, probably off getting to know each other better in the library (another pathetic attempt to get his heart off Lily).

At five till there came a whoosh of wind somewhere above Sirius' head, and white feathered wings brushed against his cheek as a small speckled owl perched itself on his shoulder, nipping lightly at his ear. On it's leg was a small folded note.

_S. Black_... in small curly writing.

Sirius untied it swiftly, and unfolded it with shaking hands.

_Sirius- As I appreciate the letter you wrote me some days ago, I have to ask you that you please wouldn't ever again. Any association between us is... dangerous. I truly hope you understand. Things aren't safe, even here. I'm sorry, but I can't risk it. Wishing you a lovely holiday. _

_-Elle/ Elise_

There she was again, being practical, prefect protocol... how he hated it. Sirius crumpled the parchment, balling it up in his hands. He hardly noticed when the owl took flight. He squeezed the life out of the letter, wishing it were someone else.

_Wishing you a lovely holiday indeed to **Elle** screw you then, you and my bastard father. You mealy wuss Collier, screw you!_

If anything improved his mood, this surely didn't, nothing seemed to anymore.

Sirius realized it just as the grandfather clock chimed midnight, and instinctively snatched the voluptuous blonde to his right and kissed her passionately, sinking into this thing that made him forget. What a way to start 1976.

**A/N: Love those reviews, thanks so much for reading, and ****hope you enjoyed (or are enjoying) Half-Blood Prince. R.A.B. has to be Regulus btw... just thinking. Anyways, toodles. -**


	18. An Eventful January Part I

**Disclaimer: Eighteen chapters later, we should all know that I do not own a single thing. Everything and I mean everything (not that I never meant everything) belongs to her, the names, the rights, and _toutes les choses_. **

_Authors Note: Another long wait… I know. I'm about the biggest idiot when it comes to updating, but well here ya are._

_As another note, my dear friend Dibbs (no this is not his real name because he has requested anonymity and because he's embarrassed of anything Harry Potter related) added a lot to this here chapter and so I have to give him some credit for it. He has and always will be the voice of Sirius so you can thank him. Now we begin…_

**WARNING**: THE LONGEST CHAPTER EVER KNOWN TO MAN! (In two parts)

**PART I **

**An Eventful January and Moonpie's Loss**

It was mid August in Grimmauld Place. The house had been undeclared Order of the Phoenix headquarters. In fact, "headquarters" was just sort of looming about; there was no real place for it now. But there Remus was reclining lazily in a great red armchair next to a radiating blue fire in the spacious den of #4 Grimmauld Place.

It was hot and sticky in the house, and a rancid musty scent filled the rooms. The fire was emitting a cooling air, which made the place a bit more bearable. Remus was proud of his accomplishments here; the silencing of Mrs. Black, the discovery of Padfoot's possessions and the recent removal of Buckbeak had been just a few. Yes, it had been a productive summer and an entertaining one at that, with the company of Padfoot's diary… but things would soon change.

New duties lay before Remus. He would be joining those like himself very soon, and it was weighing on him. Such was a task he took with great reluctance. Oh to find a nice flat and move in there, get a set of new robes and start fresh, but no. He had pledged his loyalty to the Order, to Dumbledore and now he must stay true to his oath. Members of the Order had been popping by all day, as if making a final homage to the house, in Sirius' honor. Although Remus could about bet his life Sirius would have scorned such an act. At any rate, Remus would be out and moving tomorrow, leaving this musty rat-hole behind.

He was now taking part in his ritual paper reading, of which the _Quibbler_ was a usual favorite. Today though, old copies of the _Prophet_ perked his interest. He was reading one article with a particularly skeptical expression, making disapproving clucking noises with his tongue and shaking his head at the nonsense.

"_Harry Potter's hots for Marietta Menshaw, Dragon Blood's lead singer_… Now that's a load of rubbish if I've ever heard any," Remus mused aloud.

He turned the page and embarked upon a more promising article entitled "_Black Truths_". Remus raised an eyebrow as he skimmed through it and quite suddenly tossed his head back with howling laughter, "My God, the idiots!"

Presently there came a loud popping sound from the hearth. Remus' eyes flew up mechanically; his gaze landing on the face of a witch whose head was hovering between the lapping blue flames. She was middle aged, or just about, with curly brown hair that hung above her shoulders, a long slender nose and ruby red lip color. She was flushing a healthy pink in the strange blue firelight, and covering her curls rested a gracefully fashioned, feather-plumed hat. This was a woman of money, it was apparent at one glance. The witch smiled broadly and opened her mouth, but Remus was the one to speak first.

"Why my dear Miss McGavott, what brings you to Grimmauld Place?"

The witch laughed airily, flipping her hair back in snobbery. "Oh come now Remus, mind your tongue. It's Mrs. _Englebrit_ if you remember correctly."

Remus smiled wryly. "Third marriage for you is it?"

The witch pursed her lips and frowned in reproof. "Now lets' be civil. I had planned to speak to Molly, but seeing as she's not here…"

Remus' expression was sagging into what he could not control as a sneer. "Think to try the Burrow perhaps?"

"Obviously I have," she snapped, then her eyes widened at the sight of the paper in his hands. "Oh what have you there, Remus, the _Prophet_? I don't doubt you've read my article…"

"Rita Skeeter couldn't have done better," Remus remarked sardonically.

Her countenance darkened. "Now you must be fair! My latest report on giant disruptions in Muggle regions was perfectly—"

"Yes, that was one of your better ones," Remus interrupted, "but what about this one here that I'm reading." He displayed the cover of the two-month-old paper to her.

Her frown deepened and she answered in a fury. "Oh stop looking at me like that! You know the _Prophet_ wants rubbish! With the whole Sirius Black ordeal, I was paid to portray him as a murderous heathen, loose and mad… I write— _wrote_ for spontaneity, shock value… self-entertainment, oh that's the only way to write these days! No one will take the truth and honest journalism is kicked in the mud. I try Remus, I _try_… as you saw in my latest report… I try!"

Remus sniffed and brought the paper up to cover his face. "Clearly," she heard him utter dryly "Listen to this and tell me if it's _honest journalism_, Mackenzie."

Remus read aloud the article "_Black Truths_", which claimed Sirius had been cited on a nude beach in Niece, France, enjoying the summer holiday with ease. "_Be warned, Black was last seen with a pair of Muggle sun shades and a piñacolada, he may still be armed and dangerous. --Mackenzie Watts, Staff Scriber_," Remus finished the article with a slightly triumphant smile.

Mackenzie was looking most abashed, shiftily biting her lower lip. "Well it gave you a laugh, I hope," she said sheepishly.

"I just hope Harry didn't read it is all," Remus said, folding up the paper and dropping it carelessly to the floor.

Mackenzie's brows narrowed severely, her voice rising strongly. "If Harry is anything like his father he'll find it a damn good joke, now if you please… my knees are aching."

"Good bye then." Remus didn't bother to give her another look, plucking up another paper and immersing himself in it.

"Oh… yes-yes… good-bye," said Mackenzie with a hint of disappointment. She lingered a moment longer and with a _crack_, Remus was alone.

He waited a moment until he knew she was truly gone to look back into the flames. She hadn't changed a bit, not a bit.

"My dear Miss McGavott," he sighed, shaking his head. "Miss McGavott."

From his pocket Remus retrieved the little book that had led him on so many adventures already this summer, descending into that momentous day in January…

**January 15th, 1976:**

The Marauders were back at school. In fact, it was their first day back from the holidays, but if you're still wondering about the lovely tattooed lady on James' shoulder we will just say that there was a horrible, painful and mightily unsuccessful attempt to remove it. In the end Mrs. Potter merely had them tattoo clothes over her voluptuous body so it wasn't so "agonizing for the eyes," her words directly.

As for Sirius, he was allowed to keep his Dog Star masterpiece, much to James' envy, as long as he kept it covered in the Potter home (though 'Mum Potter' felt it was an "obscenity, a ruin to such youthful skin!"). The rest of the holiday had not faired well for him at all.

About a week after Sirius had received the letter from his father, a charred black envelope came, with intimidating, jagged letters, "_From the Noble and Most Ancient house of Black… Toujours Pur._"

It was only within a matter of seconds that the envelope began to smolder in his hands and before he knew it, a long regal slip of parchment with shining red letters had read to him a statement of disownment. The golden family seal at the bottom marked it official, and with a flash of light the letter relayed a grieving image: the family tree with his name blasted from it… just as he had predicted. The vile piece of parchment shot flame and it was finished. Young Sirius Black was his own man now, officially, whether he liked it or not.

It took Sirius a day or two to recover from the shock of it all. Mrs. Potter was overly sympathetic which made things worse, and Mr. Potter had offered him a fatherly heart to heart, which had helped some but he had still felt dreadfully awkward about it. The whole ordeal had left him antsy to leave the Potter estate. It was a too close for comfort, Sirius decided and he began counting down the days until he returned to Hogwarts. He knew he couldn't do this again, take advantage of the Potters hospitality like this, all the while pretending to be their son, trying to rub off some attention. It was unfulfilling and it was becoming a guilty burden. After the break he swore he'd never do it again.

Returning to school was relieving for him. Hogwarts greeted him with open doors, and though he would not enjoy the prospect of schoolwork, it was the atmosphere Sirius enjoyed.

The memory Remus had slipped into took place in the Gryffindor boy's dormitory. James and Sirius were stationed on the floor, sprawled on their stomachs, skimming through the latest article of _Witch Weekly_. They had numerous clippings about them and a variety of other magazines, including _Quidditch in the Country_ and _WQ_ (Wizard's Quarterly). They were using a simple sheering charm to cut images out, making grotesque arrangements, such as pasting a St. Bernard's head to a buxom bikini body, and whooping with laughter at their creations. Neither Moony nor Peter had arrived yet and Sirius and James felt the need to indulge in inane entertainment.

"Got a picture of McGonagall we can attach to this John Travolta cut out?" James asked, displaying a freshly trimmed out and decapitated photo of the polyester sporting celebrity.

Sirius turned his head away in disgust, "Oh no! Fitted, in all white! I'd die before I went out of the house in that! Bellbottoms are a thing of the past. For a Muggle, you'd think he'd know what's in!"

"Certainly Padfoot, skin is not in, modest is hottest," James said sagely, shoving the clipping aside.

"I was thinking," James said after some moments of silent cutting, "you should join the fashion police." A grin twitched on one corner of his mouth.

"Thanks," Sirius said gracelessly, looking up from his snipping. "That's not a _real_ Muggle profession, now is it?"

"Er… I think so, I dunno. I always thought we should have them come see mum, carry out a proper arrest," James sighed, reminiscing warmly about his poor mother's fashion sense.

"How would they go about that though?"

"Oh I'm sure they'd have to file a report, you know how the Muggles have to make everything official, even wax jobs—tedious paperwork."

Sirius' eyes widened as he dropped his wand. "How would _you_ know?"

The awkwardness of having to answer Sirius' question passed because the figure of Moony was standing silently at the door.

"Remus!" James greeted him brightly.

Moony's suitcase was still in hand, and his sandy blonde hair was sticking up in the front, as if he had just come out of a snowstorm. There was an odd, blank expression on his face. He looked shocked and almost severe, dreadful in fact.

"How was your holiday?" James asked, smile drooping upon viewing Moony's appearance.

Moony said nothing and continued to frown in that mysterious dismal way.

James and Sirius exchanged bewildered looks. This was unusual for this time of month. Moony wasn't set to be glum and grouchy for another two weeks.

"Something wrong, Remus?" Sirius asked as Moony threw down his luggage in a forceful, violent manner. His eyebrows narrowed darkly, biting his lip… biting back anger as he threw himself down on his bed. He gave them no reply but broody silence.

"Remus," Sirius cued him again when he received no answer.

"What's with the rain cloud, Moonpie?" James questioned wryly, impatient with his apparently mute friend.

"Don't call me that," Moony growled tensely, finally speaking.

James was leaning against his bedpost, arms crossed and a countenance both irritated and perplexed. "What's the matter with you? We're giving you a cheerful holiday hello and you're being… prickly!"

"Prickly?" Sirius asked James with a grin.

"Well I couldn't think of a better word," James said quickly and turned his attention back to Moony. "What's with you mate, I know coming back to school isn't a grand… hoopla, but aren't you a little glad to see us?"

Moony shifted on his bed uncomfortably, uttering in an agitated tone, "Oh yes I am. It's just…" the rest was all indistinguishable mumble.

"What?" Sirius asked, cupping his hand to his ear.

"I said—" Moony began spitefully, but sighed dejectedly and wilted. "I said… I got dumped."

James blinked. Sirius blinked. Five seconds passed and then, "_DUMPED?_" Sirius cried loudly.

"Oh don't say that again," Moony wailed, covering his ears as if the words were painful to hear. "It only makes it worse!"

James mouth was hanging open dumbly as he began stuttering. "Who-what… wait, you and McGavott? You dumped… wait, she?"

"McGavott dumped _me_! Me, ten minutes ago… maybe more, it seemed like an hour just walking up the staircase." Moony gave another weary sigh and looked to his friends with the most pained expression they'd ever seen.

"I can't believe it," he said throwing up his hands. "I don't' even know why, it was just sort of… 'It's over, I'm sorry, I'm seeing Diggory, things change'… and she left me standing there. I didn't even get a word in."

To Moony, it wasn't so much Mackenzie McGavott he was miserable about losing, it was the idea that someone that had seemed to care for him for all those months could end things so swiftly. McGavott represented every single woman Remus ever fell for, and it proved to be an agonizing romantic road ahead of him.

"That's rough," James managed, shaking his head, just as stunned as Moony. "That's really, really rough."

Sirius on the other hand was spilling over with fury, expressing the anger Moony could not. "That damn, weasely, witchy, tart! What the hell's the matter with her, letting off a brilliant wizard like you? What the bloody hell's the matter!"

"I just can't understand it," Moony murmured softly to the floor.

The boys pondered silently, solemnly… It felt like a funeral to Sirius. Again, Moony got hit the hardest. The Marauder that already had enough problems on his plate, including his furry one, always got burned. Sirius was a firm believer in payback and anyone who rubbed his mate wrong would get a dose, if not a stronger one, of their own medicine. James, it seemed, was thinking along the same lines.

"We're going to do her in, we're going to make her life miserable—and we'll hit Diggory too!" James plotted adamantly, slamming his fist forcefully into the palm of his hand.

"Oh don't bring _him_ into this!" cried Moony, whose voice was muffled in a pillow he had just flung himself against. "There's enough of a mess already. Mackenzie and me… our relationship was dying anyway."

"Can you stop being so sensible!" shot Sirius. "I'm tired of all these damn sensible people; they've pissed me off enough so far. You know you're angry with the little tart—you know you are—I know you are!"

"So I am," cried Moony in exasperation, "so what? There's nothing I can do about it. What do you want me to do, stew and brood? That'd be a holy waste of time."

James came and sat next to Moony on the bed, clapping his friend on the shoulder firmly. "Well, you just forget about her then, I'd like to see you try, and in the mean time Sirius and I will plan her punishment."

Moony looked at him warningly.

"You know you want us to," James said before Moony could retaliate.

There was a long pause, and then Moony spoke, giving way to a smile, "Well… you can't leave me out of the planning."

"That's my boy," chimed James, giving Moony another brisk back slap. "Oh! Let's have Peeves do her in!"

"No," Sirius said ponderously. "We'll have to take time and plan…we're really going to do McGavott in… big time."

>>

>>

It was mighty difficult getting back into the swing of "academia". After a grueling morning of potions and the return of their previous glutton professor, Slughorn (Vicar had returned to the Orient to research forms of slump root), the Marauders were not relieved whatsoever when Flitwick informed them that they would be "conjuring" that day in charms.

The students still looked drained, an excess of holiday partying and cheer now left everyone sluggish, causing them to bear forlorn expressions. Many students were even found releasing great dramatic sighs every few minutes (Sirius was one of these people). As for Flitwicks's class today, everyone came in with maimed, disturbed expressions— apparently they had witnessed an unpleasant full moon view from Slughorn the period before when he stooped down to retrieve a wondering vile, not to mention the staggeringly critical scores they had received for their potions.

James had noted mournfully that Lily was not amongst them. No more information concerning Lily's parents had been passed to either Sirius or James since their return to school. There was almost a fear of discussing it. When people went missing, or didn't come back, it was the silent fear that Death Eaters had gotten to them, that this hidden clan had rid them off the earth. It was trepidation that kept everyone silent about Lily. If they were caught talking, would they be next?

Things had changed though, Sirius discovered upon his return. Mail was checked, corridors more closely watched, and curfew set at eight instead of nine (not that that stopped him); but there was certainly a sense of fear, a frostness about the school, not solely caused by the icy winter weather.

This was an extra thought that filled Sirius' brain as Flitwick squeakily called the class to attention. It wouldn't have mattered because he noticed the girl with the long black hair and prickly personality, Stella Sinistra. He had received a nagging about her in the letter his father had sent him. One kiss could kill him? It hadn't so far. Disowned and he was still alive, and content… minimally. He had been delusional, now that he thought of it, to believe she would have made a pretty pairing with him. The only thing pretty would be her face shoved into… well never mind that.

It was one of the most abnormal class periods Sirius ever had to endure. Not only had the pressure of conjuring been something of a difficult task, but the tension between Moony and McGavott was as thick and present as the looming London fog. Mackenzie had retreated from her usual position next to Moony and joined Stella and the Ravenclaw clan. Moony's nostrils flared as he watched her attempt to conjure the plump emerald green pincushion Flitwick had the requested the class to produce. This caused him to be less artful in his attempts, stealing loathsome glances at his lost lover (in this he could hardly utter the incantation correctly).

Sirius was experiencing his own relational difficulties. He had noticed Elise, who was casting him fraught, desperate glances. He thought it odd; especially after that tetchy letter she had sent him during the holiday. My God, she was a hard one to read. First she sends a dispatch of pure curt and utter rudeness and then she goggles at him with those crazy eyes like she'd scrub his bathroom floors if he asked her to. However, there was something singular in her glances. They were nervous… more than desperate; there was something else in her expression. Sirius almost believed her eyes would spill over with tears any moment and because of this fear treated her like a ghost. He had enough drama in his life. He didn't need the added weight of spinster Collier. Sirius scanned the class, surveying how his mates were coming along.

Moony was stationed at a desk with Peter, who was having his own troubles conjuring (he thought he had managed to produce something, however with his swift and energetic wand movements, he had somehow slipped Judith Stebbins red hair scrunchie onto his wand. To which he cried, "Look, I did it!" She quickly noticed his flub and snatched it off his wand. "No you idiot, that's mine"). Sirius and James were close by and already near to mastering the art. James pincushion had been larger than usual and for this Flitwick gave Gryffindor a healthy 5 points.

"Just don't look at her Remus," James whispered to his werewolf mate. "It'll sting her worse if it looks like you weren't bothered at all."

"Well I'm not quite as good at pretending as you are, Prongs," Moony hissed back between clenched teeth. "God, I hate double periods."

Although, James' words had somehow given Moony inspiration and within minutes he had well perfected the conjuring technique.

By the end of the first hour, even Peter was well on his way to conjuring other articles. A piece of cake was his first accomplishment and he ate it ravenously beneath his desk. At his side, Moony's articles were changing quickly in his fury, appearing to be sharp, pointed objects that mirrored his frustration with McGavott. Meanwhile, James' pincushion became a figurine of a dashboard hula doll (although Remus could have sworn it had red hair). Sirius produced some dog treats and then an unspeakable piece of lingerie that he hid promptly beneath the desk when Flitwick walked by.

"Wish I had that talent," James uttered out of the corner of his mouth. "I wonder if you could do that to Sinistra while she's walking by… or does the object have to be stationary? We'd better try it on Sniveullus first."

Despite the exciting nature of this class activity, Sirius was growing, undeniably, bored. Besides, Flitwick was starting to lecture, and he desperately wanted to avoid those expectant glances from Elise that were driving him a little insane. Wanted to ogle at him, did she? Well then, he would punish her with silence and ignore her like he should have to begin with… before she wrote that nasty letter.

It really was maddening, so he gathered up his books and tossed the pincushion turned lingerie on Sinistra's desk, sniggering, "You left this last night," and slipped out before he could hear her loutish protest.

There had been enough buzz about the class that his escape had gone unnoticed, and now he was alone strolling the corridors. He really hadn't had much of a plan after this and so he stood there a moment peeping out a small circular window next a headless suit of armor and the painting of scenic back drop. There was usually a withered washer woman on the canvas, but Sirius assumed she had gone for a stroll… possibly to borrow some more laundry pins.

There at the window, eyes transfixed on the frosted campus, mainly the Quidditch pitch, Sirius sought the root of the matter… the matter with whole blasted, confusing year. From the very beginning of this semester, things had started off rotten, and were continually declining. Where was the sunshine, the joy in his own brilliance and ability to woo and charm… where was Sirius Black and what was happening to the world around him? He established that these were things he would have to confide in his diary, but on a later occasion.

At this time he was seriously considering a nap in the common room when the shrill calling of McGonagall startled him from his peaceful window contemplation.

"Black, what are you doing out of class?"

She looked rather flustered as she approached him, arms akimbo and hands clutching two great clumps of letters. He assumed she was reviewing her holiday mail—for a moment a vision of a small dancing elf on as Christmas card popped into his head, an annoying music box melody tinkling in his ears. This somewhat disturbing thought exited his mind as McGonagall continued to frown at him, her left brow twitching for an answer.

"I needed some fresh air, professor," Sirius admitted shamelessly.

She made a skeptical sound in her throat. "Indeed, well it is a lucky thing I found you when I did—this just came for you."

She unsheathed one of the letters she had carrying in her parcel and handed it briskly to Sirius.

"_Sirius B. Black_" it read in sketchy blue ink, the parchment crisp and new. As he brought it closer up to examine the writing he noted that it smelled of aged tobacco and pungent cologne.

_My middle initial doesn't start with a B_, Sirius thought initially, and then a flood of thoughts filled his mind. _It was a pun, and that writing, and the tobacco…_ His insides rushed with warmth as he recognized who the sender had been.

"This one was hand delivered Black… so read it some place safe, undisturbed," McGonagall instructed him with a lowered voice.

"Who—?" Sirius began, looking up from the envelope, but McGonagall cut him off with a raised hand.

"You'll see," she reassured him, in a voice that was considerably more maternal than usual. "Now, do get yourself out of the halls before I have to dock points!"

A mist overtook the next memory; swirling and landing Remus sprawled on his back. _An observer of Sirius' memories does get kicked about a fair amount of times_, Remus reflected as he gruffly massaged his side. He was in the Owlery, and the quartet of the past, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, were just making their way inside. The vast heavy wood doors clanked behind them as they stepped over clumps of floor strewn feathers and droppings, making their way to the collection of available owls on their lofty wall perches. A bitter wind was whipping in through the glassless windows, and early sprinklings of snow were fast intruding on the fowls' sanctuary.

"Why are we here anyhow?" Peter asked tetchily, shying away from a particularly daunting red-eyed owl that was casting him a warning, venomous glare. "How can you stand the smell… _animals_," he spat in revulsion.

"I don't see why you're so worked up, we'll only be here a minute," Moony replied wearily, looking back at Peter. He was at the window catching the fresh biting breeze. It was apparent that his session with Flitwick and McGavott had sent him into a greater developed state of gloominess.

"Yeah, that's coming from a bloke that turns into a rat every…" James started to say, but Peter _ssh-_ed him hastily. "No one's listening," James snapped back. "But Padfoot, why _are _we here?"

Sirius dug his hands into his pockets, retrieving the letter McGonagall had handed him earlier. "I got this after skiving off Charms… looks like I've run into a bit of luck, mates."

James cast him a quizzical glance, dubiously taking the paper from Sirius hands. Both he and Moony hovered over the letter, noses nearly pressed against the parchment as they read:

_Dear Sirius, _

_I've just recently heard of your misfortune back at Grimmauld Place. Though I am aware that this occurrence might now be history to you, it is certainly news to me. Things are going very well at the Industry and I believe I might be in order to aid you. Send me the dates to your next Hogsmeade trip so we can meet and discuss your current position. _

_Always wield your sharpest edge, harsh times are ahead… I want you alive before out next meeting. _

_Salutations,  
Uncle Alphard_

"What do you reckon he wants?" James queried, handing the letter back to Sirius, who was scrounging around in his robes for a writing utensil.

"I'll have to find out, won't I? Quill please," Sirius requested, holding out his hand.

Moony hastily retrieved the feathered object from his robes. "I've never heard of this uncle before," he asserted as Sirius snatched the quill from his hands.

"My dad's brother… only likeable chap on his side."

Sirius flipped the letter over and wrote in a quick messy scrawl-

_I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks on Monday, January 22nd at 4:00._

_Sincerely yours,  
Sirius_

Moony frowned. "But we don't have a trip set for the twenty second, the next visit to town's not for another two weeks."

"Yeah," shrugged Sirius. "But he doesn't know that."

"But that's when our essays for are due for Binns," demurred Moony.

"Pity," said Sirius, crisply sealing the envelope.

"But detention, Sirius…" Moony began in a reproachful tone.

"Builds character, I know."

Moony frowned but said nothing, watching the tawny owl float out the window with the letter clutched in its talons.

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**_A/N: (At this time you should click the next chapter button… wink-wink… at this time you should write a review—if you so desire… wink-wink)._**


	19. An Eventful January Part II

**Disclaimer: I continue to be the sad sorry owner of nothing, thank you. **

**PART II **

**An Run-in with Luck and Horn Rimmed Glasses **

**January 22nd 1976: **

_Firstly, I hate mornings… I look like a shaggy dog, and believe me, it's not sexy. Secondly, James' dreams keep getting louder and it's nothing a silencing charm will fix, and then there's an essay that needs writing and I still haven't successfully bribed Jennings to do it. Lastly, I know it's a Monday, but I really should feel more excited about life…_

Remus viewed some indiscriminate scribbles across the page, leading him to a new list, and a new memory…

_To Do:_

_1. Shower_

_2. Think in shower (yes, I have to aside time to think—shower meditations are the deepest)_

_3. Find those pants I want to wear—black ones_

_4. Finish lines for old Slug wad… its really more like a groveling apology letter_

_5. Make moonlight plans (fabricate and propose to MWP)_

_6. Plan McFloozie's demise_

"What are you writing, Padfoot?" James asked over breakfast, scribbling some finishing calculations on his Arithmancy homework. He looked up at Sirius who was most immersed in his diary.

"Jotting down a few 'to-dos' is all," he answered, scratching a finishing touch to the bottom of the page:

_7. Set Snape's robes on fire! —If I have time _

"There we are," declared Sirius, tucking the small navy book in his robe pockets. "So, what does the day hold for you James, _deerling_?" He asked this with a cheeky smile, resting his elbows on the table as he cast a rather intruding shadow over his companion's work.

James looked up from his work, pulling his book a little closer towards him as he lifted both his brows in query. He decided to shake off Sirius' comment and answered with a heavy sigh, "Too many essays _and_ a detention with Slughorn. Ever since he came back he's been a crabby old codger, because his '_favorite'_ is gone."

"Favorite?" Moony questioned, who was stationed a few stacks of books down from James. He had just come out of his morning glare session at McGavott. It had become his morning practice, ever since the day she had left him to rot for young Enos Diggory, the Nancy boy she coddled over breakfast, sitting in his lap and cooing sweet endearments in his ear (Sirius had often thought he had heard Moony growling—he supposed he would have too).

"Slughorn's favorite, yes, _Evans_," continued James, resonating evident disdain. "Ever since he walked into our class and noticed she was missing, he's been a right ass."

"That old lag's got enough ass on him to begin with, he could show us a wee bit of mercy and refrain from being one," commented Sirius, mindlessly drawing shapes in the butter with the back of his knife. Moony narrowed his eyes with silent reprimand, but did not bother a verbal reproach, as Sirius was visibly too engrossed in it.

"Amen, to that," James went on, "but… it makes me wonder, you know… where she is," he added this in almost a cautious pensiveness.

Moony pounded a fist on the table, whining as he exclaimed, "_Please_ don't bring that up again James… for the last time, it's just—not—your—business!"

"Well I'm curious!" James exclaimed.

"And in love," Sirius was quick to put in, before he drowned these words in a glass of orange juice.

James narrowed his eyes threateningly. "Shut it."

Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a loud giggle a few tables down. Sirius looked behind him, down a bench or so at the Ravenclaw table, to see Miss Elise Collier laughing with a fifth year boy she was tutoring. Sirius squinted across the room and noticed it to be that pratt Sherman Simmons who had nearly levitated his pants off that same morning (apparently, the boy's skills hadn't much improved because his goblet was spinning wildly in the air without any real sense of direction).

"Oh God, you'll spill it, _stop_," Elise cried, her voice still thick with laughter as she ducked from the airborne goblet.

"For the last time, be serious and drop it," she urged the boy, better suppressing her giggles as she viewed annoyed the stares from neighboring tables.

"It's not _that_ funny," Sirius said scornfully.

James, who had been observing giggly Elise and her squirrelly pupil, acquired an equally contemptuous glare. "I bet Collier knows the whole of it," he scoffed. "I bet Evans wrote her every day, at the slightest thing… even when the wind blew!"

Sirius stole another peek at Elise out of the corner of his eye. She had managed to calm herself and the boy, and appeared determined on explaining something, aimlessly twirling a stray wispy curl of hair on her forefront… twirling it, twirling it… her little finger coiling and entwining it…

Sirius whipped his gaze from her, slapping his cheek lightly and staring at the last bit of bacon on his plate. "I bet…" he mused quietly.

"So what are you doing mate?" Moony asked as he started to pack up his books in the library. "I never see you haunt this place."

"I'm '_researching'_," Sirius answered snappily. "James asked me to… and I'm really finding nothing so it's getting to be annoying."

"On Evans again… hm, I see," Moony nodded with an apologetic smile. "Well, what time are you leaving for Hogsmeade?" he asked this quietly, leaning forward to add more privacy to the conversation.

Sirius stole a look at his watch. "I reckon since it's nearly three now that I'll leave in about half an hour… sure you don't want to come?"

Moony slung his book bag over his shoulder. "Nah, I've got other things to do."

"Better things to do than skive off Binns. You're an ace in that class its not like you need it," Sirius grinned tauntingly.

"Well, actually… I've got a bit of _planning_ that needs some taking care of, so if you don't mind…" he muttered with a twitching smile. "I'll be off."

Sirius started to hum "Moony and McGavott sittin' in a tree" causing Moony to wink back, "She'll wish. Later mate."

"Later," Sirius bid him farewell, returning to the book before him.

He had thought he had well isolated himself from any intrusion or annoying stalkers at his table in the corner (most mentionable, were a group of fourth year girls who had taken to chirping behind him in a giggly flock… this was something equal to Sirius' nightmare of Kreacher in a tutu), but he was most mistaken. For only two minutes after Moony's departure, did Sirius look to the floor and notice two little black shoes, perfectly conformed to a dainty foot, and two slender white ankles but inches from the table legs. Sirius mindlessly tracked these ankles up with his eyes, following them to svelte legs, then observing the curve of some shapely hips and… stared there a moment, in half a daze when he yelped, "My God, _Collier_, don't do that!" receiving many severe _shh-_es, chiefly from Madam Pince.

"Never sneak up on me like that again!" Sirius hissed at Elise, attempting to keep his voice below a screaming level.

"Oh… I'm sorry," she blinked, tapping her back heels together and waiting for the stern expression on Sirius' face to change. It did not, however, but he took this moment to observe her. Her hair was half pulled back, loose and windblown, there was a light sort of smoky makeup surrounding her eyes that gave her a mystifying air. Yet in all this, she had heavy, exhausted appearance about her. Sirius looked down and noticed that those blasted glasses of hers were clutched in her hands, in addition to an armful of books.

She smiled weakly, "I didn't really mean to scare you, I just hoped I could sit here… there's not really much place else."

She was right, but Sirius had the strong urge to suggest she situate herself on the floor as an alternative. Rather, he decided upon making an irreverent snort and shrugging his shoulders in a careless answer.

She furrowed her brows a little and gingerly placed her books on the table, assuming a position across from Sirius. She watched him for a moment as he desperately sought to ignore her, pulling his book protectively towards himself. This awkwardness lasted for about another minute until she finally released a heavy sigh.

"You've purposely been ignoring me, haven't you, Sirius?"

Sirius looked up abruptly. "Certainly not, Collier," he smiled smarmily. "I don't have to _intentionally_ ignore you, it just happens. You just blend into walls so well. We've never spoken before, why the need to now?" He was acting the complete stranger.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Elise said after a hesitant moment, nervously licking her lips, "and you have to listen to me!"

"I don't have time for you," he said flatly, loudly shutting his book cover and standing up erectly, sneering down at her.

"Yes you do—"

"There's a Binns essay that needs writing and I have a meeting with Myrtle in the little boy's room if you don't mind," Sirius lied smoothly.

Elise's dark arched brows met in a narrow V. "Blaire Jennings is writing it for you in the common room as we speak, I know, I was just there."

Sirius rouged a tinge. "Yes, well, places to go, people to see. I know that's difficult for _you_ to understand but—"

Elise interrupted him suddenly, a desperate tone capturing her voice. "Did James get a letter form Lily, Sirius?"

Sirius' mouth hung catching flies as his mind devoured the unexpected question. "What?"

"Did James get a letter for Lily?"

Sirius was caught off his guard. "Well… yes but…"

"Damn!" Elise swore, biting at her nails. "Oh damn!"

"What, what's the matter?" he inquired, somewhat disturbed,

Elise rose from her seat and turned from him, drawing in a sharp breath. For some reason, this was dreadful news.

Sirius heard her mumble, "She tried to send one here, it was intercepted… I only got a portion of it. The rest was scratched out or-or ripped up…" she turned to face him, suddenly emotional. "It's happening to them, isn't it? Her parents, the same thing that happened to mine! It's true then?"

"I…" Sirius couldn't say, but he assumed her conjectures were correct.

"Let's go somewhere else," he said quietly, taking her by the arm. "I don't want Pompfrey hearing."

"You think so then?" Elise asked him eagerly, once they were out in the corridor.

"Yeah…" Sirius murmured huskily, running his fingers restlessly through his hair. He motioned with his head towards an empty classroom and they slipped inside, unnoticed.

The place was dark inside and Elise stumbled across a desk as they entered. Sirius stabilized her before she fell, and she reddened in the darkness, recovering hastily, without thanking him.

"So what did she say?" Elise asked keenly.

"I didn't read it for myself but… she mentioned that her parents went missing on holiday in the states. The Muggle police are investigating, I'm not sure what good that'll do… but I'm almost certain who's behind it all."

"_Yes_," she urged him to continue.

Sirius started off cautiously. "I ran away from home because I didn't want to be like them, Collier, my relatives… they're all screwed in the brain. It's their type that would, you know, have their fun with Muggles. It's their style. The Lestranges, for one, and the Blacks… maybe my uncle, not my father, he's got too much gold to risk for that."

Elise was looking down, shaking her head, eyes swelling. "Yes, I thought it was their _style_," she spat. "But how's Lily, where is she?"

"With her sister, in Surrey, I think she said."

"That bitchy thorn?" Elise burst, suddenly blushing and throwing her hands over her mouth, realizing what she had said.

"I'm surprised at you, Collier," Sirius smirked.

"Well the woman's awful, everyone should know that," Elise answered quickly, visibly abashed. "I met her once… her comments about my glasses were most insulting!"

Sirius laughed slightly. "Well, you know what I think." He regretted it after he said it because Elise quickly changed the subject.

"So you think it's your family then?" she asked him seriously.

Sirius sighed; an invisible weight seemed to fall upon his shoulders. "Yes or another family tie… I was disowned, did you hear?"

"No!" Elise gasped quietly, her expression softening with empathy. "That's shocking to hear… well, not shocking but… unexpected."

It was a tense, awkward moment. Sirius was constantly fidgeting, moving from one foot to the other, and his hand hardly left his hair. "Yeah… no loss though."

She nodded, trying to understand, wanting to be a comfort, but knowing he would not accept it. He wanted her to be a comfort but didn't want to admit it. The air was still in the dark room, the walls were lined with mirrors and the two Gryffindors could make out their shadowed silhouettes in the dimness. It was so cold.

Why couldn't he just have normal encounters with her, why did they always have to be in the dark? Why couldn't she just peal off that haughty snotty expression, throw away her books and be his? Not _his_, that sounded too possessive, but why wasn't this easier. Playing cat and mouse can be a fine form of male/female amusement (take Lily and James for example), but Sirius wasn't used to waiting. She had given him mixed signals, thrown yeses and no's in his face and left him confused about even his own emotions. It somehow made her even more appealing to him, in a twisted sort of way, it did.

He would have acted on this attraction, however he had already endured the searing affects of not waiting for her timing and so he withheld the great urge to wedge his mouth on hers and feel her wistful squeal echo through his body. She startled him when she spoke.

"Did I offend you?" she asked him suddenly.

"What?" Sirius shook his head.

"In that letter I sent you… I got Lily's defaced message and acted a-a little rashly. I should have said things differently. What I mean is… I still need to be careful," Elise ended softly, hanging her head.

Sirius bit his lip. "Yeah, well you did sort of come off…"

"Rudely," Elise answered for him, looking up with a slight, sheepish smile.

"Exactly."

Elise tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, shifting feet. "I'm sorry, like I said. I think I'm too worried—paranoid even. I just wish I had the assurance of knowing I could trust people," she murmured this to the floor, folding her arms and shivering slightly.

"I know what you mean," Sirius said a few seconds later. "Look Collier, I have to be somewhere, but keep me posted… if you hear from Lily—James would want to know, and-and don't worry about that letter, just promise me you'll work on your people skills."

She made a shocked half amused gasping sound, one corner of her mouth turning up in a closed smile. "Well… alright, but swear to me that if _you_ hear anything else, you'll share it with me too."

Sirius managed to smile back. "Sure," he answered her in an amiable tone.

He took a step back towards the door, turning to leave when she stopped him with a light tap on the shoulder. "Oh um, if you're heading to Hogsmeade you'll want to take the passage by the one eyed witch—I hear that east tunnel caved in."

Sirius stared at her, dumbfounded. "How—" he began but she merely shrugged her shoulders, smiling as she slipped slyly out the classroom door.

Hogsmeade was not teaming with life, as Sirius was so accustomed to seeing it. In fact, he was the only soul on the road, muffler hanging loosely around his neck as he trudged to the entrance of The Three Broomsticks. Here he was to meet that kindly relative, Alphard, the dapper.

The Uncle Alphard Sirius had last seen, nearly a year before was an old swarthy. He was nearly into his sixties with hair that was silver and long, tied back with a single leather cord, and his noble French nose was always rosy above a surly handlebar mustache. The man was plumping a little around the middle, his stout belly holding up some fashionable pantaloons, never seen without a mustard yellow waistcoat. His boots were black and well shined, but he was such a burly chap that his apparel was not quite as dashing as it would have been on a fit young gentleman.

However, he had a charming slight in his front gold tooth and his faded blue eyes held a quick gleam that made him ever likeable. Cigars and women were his fancy, as well as an occasional course joke or two— and though he often kidded that he was past the age of women pleasures, he never slipped a chance to tell you about his jolly past conquests. Sirius' mother loathed him, mainly for his Muggle minglings and the wife she'd so unapproved of (that is, until the woman's recent death), detaching himself from the wizarding world except for a blue moon "good time".

Uncle Alphard had made his earnings in Muggle sales and had a keen knowledge of their ways, he was however, "very well acquainted", as he often liked to say, with the wizarding community, which often allowed him to come by some intriguing artifacts. Two Christmases earlier he had given Sirius a pocket comb that folded into a knife, and then there had also been the chameleon ring that Sirius had lost sometime during fifth year—this he hadn't the heart to admit to his uncle. The two Black family outcasts had bonded quite well, and in the last few years Alphard found a particular joy in giving his nephew women advice (of which Sirius never grew weary).

Sirius wasn't the least bit apprehensive on this winters day as he walked through the tavern door, scuffing the snow off his shoes and scanning the room for the face of his uncle. Sirius felt healthier than he had all month when he spotted Alphard at a table in the back, carrying a silver gnarled walking stick that he had the habit of rapping against the top of his boot. He greeted Sirius with a rich merry laugh, pulling him into his fatherly arms and giving him a crushing squeeze.

"Sirius my boy, Sirius it's been far too long. How's the young swanker eh?"

"Alive anyway," Sirius answered with a smirk.

Alphard tossed his head back and gave a delighted chortle, "Well that's the best any of us can hope for, isn't it? Now c'mon boy sit down, sit down." He instructed Sirius to a chair, pleasantly placing himself across the table and uncorking a dusty blue bottle Rosmerta had left for them.

"Now," he said with heavy breath, a grin still faint upon his lips. "What have you been up to, Sirius?"

"You're so quick to ask me, how are you, you smooth old codger?" inquired Sirius, taking the glass of purple liquid that had just been poured for him.

"Business is bland as usual," his uncle answered. "I've been dieing for something of a thrill lately, but it seems as though gold is just weighing me down… there comes a time, Sirius lad, when riches are a burden, when you've spent and you've lived and-and eventually it disgusts you. Hard explained, complicated matter that is… but tell me how the little Hogwart's prince is making out. Any birds in your collection yet?" Alphard's eyes were twinkling with eagerness.

Sirius couldn't help but laugh at his uncle's enthusiasm. "It's been a pretty sorry collection this semester, I have to say," he admitted with a bashful grin, downing his first sip of the purple drink. It burned slightly in his throat and gave him a quick tingling sensation.

Alphard saw the look in Sirius' eyes and commented wryly. "Rich brew, isn't it? Well bugger that, s'shame to hear. I'd hoped you'd have some tales to share, but perhaps it's for the better. We can't always be high flying, gotta get off our brooms once and a while and feel the grass beneath our feet… we need our downs."

"I guess…" Sirius mumbled dejectedly, swirling the liquid around in his glass, "and it's not bloody likely that I'll have any tales soon—I mean there's an occasional bout, but nothing… satisfying. What's all this about though anyway? I've never known you to visit me, what's been on your mind?"

Alphard sighed and placed his elbows on the table, his expression becoming heavy and serious. "I heard of that business last summer… you know what it means. That bloody family tree your mum keeps 'as your name blasted off, doesn't it?"

"Sirius…I'm not going to make you go into it, I've heard enough about what happened, with the struggle and all, but you need to tell me or this whole visit will have been a waste. Have you been disowned?"

Sirius went cold, rigid. These were not the words he had been expecting. _Not now, not here, when ears could hear and eyes could see._

Alphard lowered his voice. "Have you?"

Sirius' chest went tight; he had feared this discussion. He nodded solemnly and looked away.

The awkward pause was not long lived.

"Congratulations then," he heard his uncle say, "its all for the better."

Sirius' eyes flashed up. "You think so?"

"Of course I think so. The further away your are from those blasted Blacks the safer you are—makes for firmer mental stability anyhow," he said with a wink.

"My gold has been an unbearable weight, Sirius," Alphard divulged suddenly, "and with you out and on your own, I… I feel inclined to take up the paternal position and give you a boost."

Sirius was automatically defensive. "I don't need it, honest I don't. I'll make out fine on my own."

"No you won't," Alphard said gruffly. "You have another year son, who's going to pay for that eh? I bet you hadn't thought of that."

Sirius was silent once more, looking down at his hands wishing he'd declined this visit.

"No you hadn't then," Alphard continued, mustache twitching. "I'm offering you something Sirius… you don't have to take it, but you should."

"I can't," Sirius uttered tensely. "I've already been enough of a freeloader as it is, I can't mooch off you!"

"The Potters don't think you're a moocher, Sirius," Alphard uttered quietly.

"You don't know what they think," Sirius mumbled tetchily, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes glued to the floor.

"What I'm offering is a hand up, not a hand out." These words offered Sirius no comfort, and he continued to say nothing, stony and silent.

Alphard looked him over sympathetically, with a gentle fatherly countenance, "See it from your uncle's perspective… will you, lad. I'm old, and I look at you with almost… envy. I think how lucky you are to be able to gawk at birds and not think yourself a filthy ol' swag," he said this with a soft chuckle. "But see… damn, Sirius son, you're the only decent one of 'em all. Save for Regulus who just might have a chance if—well that's a different matter. But Sirius you get the kibble bits at the bottom of the dog dish for God's sake… and for all those years Maggie and I—God rest her soul, did nothing."

"A man thinks about what's after, you know. It's often on my mind in these dark days, where we go after that last breath… good or bad, the place doesn't matter, but I can't help worrying about that eternity, wherever the hell I end up. It might be too late to wrack up a list of good deeds, but I'm not going down without seeing you pull through!"

Sirius continued to stare at his uncle, overwhelmed and baffled at what to say. Alphard fidgeted in his chair, running a hand across his sleek silver hair.

"I don't know how many years I have under my belt. Its been makin' me think of writing wills and a load of that gruesome rubbish… but I've written it, see, and well I'm half tempted to give it all to you."

"Oh I don't deserve it!" Sirius blurted automatically.

"No you don't, but I'm giving it to you, because you'd be better with it than any of the other stiffs. It's not my intention to spoil you rotten, but you do know you're my only decent nephew, my _favorite_ nephew."

"You've hinted," Sirius said ironically, giving way to a smile. "But I told you, I won't take it."

Alphard nodded in thoughtful consideration. "Well, I can see this is a subject better suited for another day, and we'll leave it at that. Now please lad, cheer me up. Tell your favorite uncle how your women are doing. I'd ask about your classes but I reckon you've been studying other areas.

"Um, well as I told you before… it hasn't been going so well. I've kind of been lying low, even with girls."

"Understandable, understandable," Alphard acknowledged, "but what about your mates, the Potter boy still after that pretty fiery lass?"

It was then that Sirius gave him an update on the affairs of Lily and snitch, slipping in the business about Moony and McGavott as well. This then somehow brought him to the subject of Elise, which he regretfully relayed to his uncle.

"Complicated, my boy… I'm thankful now that I'm not in your shoes. Well, let your uncle lift your spirits." He fiddled around in his pockets for something, pulling out what looked like a deck of cards.

"See here, take these," he said, tossing them to Sirius. He examined the yellowing packet for a moment, reading the words _Pour faites amusants—dangereux mais utiles! _

"I was antiquing in France, bought them off a cartel, gentleman I've known for years. Those beauts are bound liven things up… only in closed quarters though," Alphard instructed, quieting his tone, "wouldn't want any _permanent_ damage." He winked and patted his side pocket, indicating Sirius hide them right away.

Sirius wasn't exactly sure what they were but obeyed. They were already burning a hole in his pocket and he couldn't wait to unsheathe them in front of the Marauders. It was soon time for leave, and Uncle Alphard and Sirius exchanged pleasant partings, promising to write soon and keep each other posted on their current situations.

It had been a meeting of heavy weighted magnitude, as though the moment those lead words had escaped Uncle Alphards lips, Sirius' world had slowed to a halt… and he was left there in place, digging deep into those thoughts of the past that ached like newly open sores. He had hoped perhaps that his uncle would have a summer job for him, an internship at the industry, but instead had come with tidings of possible death, a will and the reminder of the family that had disowned him. Alphard had meant well, but it had left Sirius feeling more burdened than before, unsure how to cast off the pain or how to move on with this suppressed hate still fresh and welling in his chest.

Unlce Alphard brought wisdom for the future, warnings that Sirius was not ready to hear. He had enough to worry about now; he didn't need someone lecturing him on how his life should be lived. He had just escaped the Black bondage hadn't he, what made Alphard think Sirius would desire more parenting. Yes, his uncle had meant well, but Sirius was not ready for it. _I'll give it a month_, he thought, _and then I'll write him_.

Oh but the future, there it was, just waiting to swallow him up and overwhelm him. Sirius was sure he'd be fine, he knew he could "make it", what Black hadn't? Even if he wasn't technically part of their family anymore, he had confident blood flowing through his veins. He was brilliant, he knew that, he could do whatever the bloody well he pleased and that was almost an intimidating thought. The future was intimidating and that's what brought Remus—ever constant, reliving the past through the diary—to Sirius' January 22nd entry:

_Tell me if I'm wrong, but everyone has problems… which should be a comforting thought, but it isn't, and somehow it just makes me remember how much I hate January. I always hate January, it's this God awful month we just have to stick out to make it to February and then March and then April when things start getting better—well, the weather mainly. It also happens to be national "self awareness" month, as dishwater ditz Blaire Jennings told me yesterday. It's some Muggle thing she likes to observe and has been pining for chances to psychoanalyze me so I can be more self-aware… Her form of self-awareness is more like, sexual awareness, and I am already fully aware that I am a straight male that has been deprived for far too long. Thank you Blaire, but really, I'm fully "self-aware"._

_Thinking along those lines though, I've been trying to psychoanalyze myself and I have come to the conclusion that I am perfect and it's the rest of the word that has the problem. Even if this is the most arrogant, pigheaded statement I think I've ever made in this diary (again, correct me if I'm wrong), it is the most self-satisfying statement. But I know what you're saying, "Please Sirius, love, tell me everything about your day!"_

_Well, only since you asked… I didn't find a shred on missing persons in the Prophet or in the library, which brassed me off a little because James has been so pushy lately about getting all of us involved in this thing with Evans. After talking to Collier though, I'm almost motivated to find some piece of the puzzle, just to stick it to some of my crotchety relations._

_Now moving on to Collier… I can't quite figure out what's wrong with me. Some days I hate that girl and other days I could swear I'm in love—or something close to it, and I don't know if someone finally introduced her to makeup but she keeps getting better and better each time I see her. So, my plan is this, get her alone in a classroom again—and after I've pulled her down to the floor with me, I can just wing it. I probably could have managed that today if I hadn't had to go see Alphard. He's a fine chap though, brilliant chap and the best of any of my mother's relations, but… see I'm not sure now. He wants me to bloody take his whole fortune, and I get this sick, heavy feeling in my stomach when he mentions it. I can't go back to the Potters next year, I know that, James will permanently coin me "freeloader" and a lousy moocher. Yes, a moocher, for lack of a less equally rotten term for swiping off other blokes. Wouldn't I be mooching off Alphard too though? Even if it were a "gift", as he'd like me to believe. True, I **should** take it if it's offered (I'm not getting a cent anywhere else), but I have a certain kind of pride, and possibly an ethical problem, with taking what I haven't deserved. I'll just wait… maybe I'll win a beauty pageant. _

_As for Moonpie, I don't know either. I seem to be running out of brilliant ideas and McGavott is becoming complacent—we need to strike soon! _

There ended Sirius entry.

_Yes indeed_, Remus concurred silently, as he closed the cover of the diary. Still stationed in his comfy tattered armchair, he sighed deeply and looked back into the fire where he had seen Mackenzie's face nearly two hours before.

"Blooming shame," he murmured to himself. He lamented the late hour and shook his head out wearily; it was time he start packing.

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_**A/N: Reviews are jolly little things that do brighten and improve my mood :). Thank you all and I don't blame you if you flame me for being the world's worst procrastinator. I deserve some flaming about now, I think. **_


	20. Tease

Chapter 20: Tease

Disclaimer: wow, it's been forever since I've written one of these… All characters names, etc belong to JKR. Yay, we're all happy now.

A/N: Shut up, shut up, shut up, I know how long it's been ok… but as usual you do have the right to flame me because of it. Hope you enjoy and I give you Sirius back in Black…

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**February 3****rd**** 1976:**

The grass was damp and pleasingly cool beneath his padded paws, his fur was wonderfully dusted with the mud of the earth and he breathed in the dank, exhilarating scent of the night air. Padfoot looked wildly about, the heart in his chest pounding with exhaustion. This game of hide and seek had been more challenging than expected… _Where was Prongs?_—and Moony, who usually stayed clipped to Sirius' side on moonlit nights such as these, was nowhere to be found. Even the distinct tread of his paws were not audible, or the occasional moon howl that Moony had often done for the amusement of his friends. Padfoot hated to admit defeat so soon, but he had even experienced difficulty detecting Peter, who (even in his miniscule rodent size, camouflaged with the natural tones of the earth) was usually conspicuous and easy to spot.

The great black dog stood rooted and confused on a soft mound of earth at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. _Where the bloody hell could they be? This is starting to lose its amusement_. Just as these thoughts entered his head, two small brown eyes poked out from one of the near bushes, spying Padfoot keenly. He growled at them, but the eyes merely blinked back, unfazed by this mild threat. Padfoot barked at the eyes once more when they did not shrink back into the brush. This time a little black nose and two slender pointed ears emerged from the leaves.

_A fox!_, thought Padfoot, _Must chase!_

The animal removed itself from the shrubs, its sleek furry red coat shining in the moonlight, and its full tail swished in a slow alluring manner. The pointed white tip of the tail transfixed Sirius' grey orbs—he wanted to pounce at it.

The petit little thing was playful and inquisitive, bounding straight up to Sirius as if to say, "_pleased to meet your acquaintance on this fine night, sir_." In fact, he could have sworn he had heard these words. It was as though he really had heard them. A soft female voice transmitted the words to his head and he sat there puzzled for a moment.

"What the f—?" Sirius communicated, shaking out his head, his ears feeling as though they were filled with water.

He shook out his ragged coat and lunged at the fox. She was too fast however, dashing behind a tree, her tail sailing high and graceful behind her. This ridiculous canine game of "tag" continued for a fair few minutes. Sirius was highly entertained with the fox, and perhaps it was his odd dog-like nature to be attracted to it all. She was a pretty fox… _Dammit Sirius, dammit, you're not a dog… sick bastard… not a dog—or a fox!_ This was happening to him a lot lately. He felt more dog than human, and he'd loved it when Tallulah Stover had scratched behind his ears and… well, never mind that.

He caught her (because he assumed it was a female, she just had that "lady fox" way about her in Sirius' mind) by the tail, one of his large paws pinning her down. She glared—if foxes could glare, and attempted to make her escape with little success. Padfoot barked as though laughing and the fox released a funny yelping hiss of protest. Then out of nowhere…

AWHOOOO, AWHOOOOO!!

Mindlessly, Sirius released the fox's tail, startled by the werewolf's moon cry. The game was over, and the fox, who had been quite angered by Sirius' oppressive paws, took this moment to scramble a few paces ahead, snapping at him in some reprimanding yaps. He almost swore he heard the same girlish voice in his ears as before.

"What kind of snarky berk are you, manhandling a lady! Next time I want you to touch my tail I'll ask you to!"

Padfoot blinked. "Well… you started it!" he barked after her swishing tail, feeling slightly stupid and childish.

_Screw it, she's a fox_. _Arg, it's not a she! I don't know what the hell it really is_. _They all look the same._ He was fooling himself that she could understand him at all. He shook out his head; his imagination was too wild these days.

Ten seconds later, Padfoot heard Moony approach him from behind.

"A little slow this time Pads," he heard Moony's voice in his head. "Did you forget we were playing?"

Padfoot turned to face the werewolf. "Sorry mate, female distractions."

The forest scenery faded away, replaced by a new memory from Sirius' aged diary…

**February 4****th**** 1976: **

Moony traipsed into the dorm late that evening, silent and visibly sullen. The lads did not bother to converse with him for fear they would say some stupid thing that would tamper his nerves that had been so delicate as of late. He had emerged from the woods the previous moonlit night with some terrible wounds, some unsightly facial scratches, and a bad mood to boot. He refused to put up in the hospital wing for the following few days, arguing rather forcefully with Pompfrey on the matter, refusing to "spend another night in that bloody place". No one blamed him, but it made him a little difficult to approach… even by his own mates.

Sirius had wanted to propose the McGavott sabotage they had planned nearly two weeks before but was leery about the response he would get from Moony. Fortunately Sirius' mind was not the one that this mischievous thought occupied.

"We have to do _something_," Moony said suddenly. "I can't stand it—I want to reap sweet revenge… only… how?" Moony braced himself against his dresser as he spoke, closing his eyes as though this would give him instant inspiration.

The Marauders knew exactly what he was talking about, and Sirius fancied that for one moment he and Moony had shared brainwaves. "I thought you said you'd been planning," Sirius interjected, looking up from the charts of his Divination homework as scratched a finishing prediction on the parchment.

"I have been, but there are a million loop holes… and since you mates have landed yourselves in detention—_twice_, it's been hard to get exterior inspiration," Moony answered moodily, folding his arms in a sort of protest.

James who had been staring blankly into space for the last half hour (most likely pondering the names of his future children with the soon to be Lily Evans Potter) piped up with a bemused sort of smile, "What is it exactly that you want to achieve?"

Moony glared at the floor pensively and then looked up again, answering curtly, "Social sabotage."

"Ooh," mouthed Peter excitedly, on the floor organizing his collection of chocolate frog cards.

"Clever name for a mission, but how do you plan to go about it?" James questioned.

"We could always say she made Diggory pregnant," Peter offered hopefully.

Moony cast him an irritated glance. "Who in God's name is going to believe that, especially from us? We need to be subtle, the best way to go about things is to get the ball rolling and let her unknowingly ruin herself…" Moony bit his lower lip, an aberrant expression of deviousness wafting across his visage.

"Remus, this is highly uncharacteristic," James began in a guarded tone.

"Yes, I know James, but I deserve a break once in a bloody while—its hard being the Marauder diplomat you know, and don't argue … you know it's true. Now, are you going to help me or not?"

No one dared object.

"Then what should we do?" Peter whined some moments of quiet contemplation later.

Moony shrugged hopelessly and James shook his head blankly. Sirius on the other hand had just received an epiphany. His eyes alighted with sudden revelation and he leapt from his bed, nearly lunging towards his trunk as he flung it open, searching wildly for something. "I know just the thing," he cried victoriously, throwing random articles out of his trunk.

The boys cast each other puzzled glances as they watched Padfoot emerge with what appeared to be a withered pack of purple playing cards.

"These!" Sirius proclaimed smugly, tossing the pack to Moony.

Moony caught the pack unexpectedly, examining them with a quirked brow. "And what are _these_?"

The packet was sullied and torn, with red letters faintly visible on the front in artsy narrow writing, "_Wild Card_".

Moony repeated the words back to the boys, "_Wild Card_? What is this, Padfoot?"

"Your saviors, just the thing to find some worthy dirt on McGavott…" Sirius answered with a smirk.

"Where'd you get them?"

"Ol' swarthy Alphard… he gave them to me our last Hogsmeade visit."

"Did he really?" James asked eagerly, grabbing the cards discourteously from Moony's hands and investigating them for himself. "Blimey, you told me about these Padfoot… are these the ones that um… switch things up a bit?" he asked with a sinister little chuckle.

"In a way… I forgot about them until now. I'd wanted a subject to test them out on. Looks like McGavott will be the perfect candidate," said Sirius.

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**A/N: Until next time, muwhahaha… sorry, that was a teaser chapter for something very big and long to follow. I hope you enjoyed that snippet. ;)**

**-Amalynne**

_P.S. Chapter 21 **Wild Card**... look for it by next week._


	21. Pleasant Unintenional Plans

**Chapter 21: Pleasant Unintentional Plans**

**Disclaimer: Rowling owns every single itsy bitsy piece n' all that jazz. **

_**Author's Note:**__ Finally, I got to write the chapter I've wanted to write forever. It could be so much more romantic, but I hate over-doing things, especially when it comes to an overtly dramatic Sirius anyway. You can't make anyone named Sirius too serious. ;) Hope you like it ladies and gents, more will be coming soon. I felt a shorter chapter was a good transition into the depth and tail end of this fic._

_**-Amalynne O'hara **_

**February 4, 1976 (later on that evening):**

Sirius Black was in the best place in the world, conceivably the most amazing place for a sixth year Gryffindor boy to find himself—the girl's dormitory. Hours before, a pack of highly useful but ethically unjustifiable playing cards given to him by his silvered uncle had landed him here… a place where estrogen raged and secrets oozed from the walls, tantalizing female secrets a Marauder would willingly tuck away in the crevices of his mind.

Cloaked in invisibility, Sirius had placed himself in a distant corner of the dormitory, running a little red playing card between his fingers, handling the edges and soaking up the scene.

It was a scene that brought a grin to his handsome face. The girls were hoping from bed to bed, singing to some muggle records brought by Elise.

"His name's Jim Morrison," Elise was commenting about the record with playful laughter, "and don't you mock him, because he's got unnatural talent."

They were bouncing around in socks, half-dressed in nightshirts and cotton pajamas. Sirius was greatly shocked that he was not looking at a threesome in silk teddies—he had always assumed teenage girls just wore those things, not even taking comfort into consideration. If truth be told, it was a little disappointing; however the goofy spectacle they were making surely was not. Sirius was enjoying the best entertainment he'd had for months, excluding that time he'd spent with Jennings in the quidditch dressing room after practice.

They were talking about boys now; Alex was doing most of the talking, Elise doing most of the combat and disagreement.

"That beautiful blonde beau—the muggle, sizzling hot muggle my brother knows from…" and the rest was so fast and undistinguishable, Sirius subconsciously tuned her out, taking this time to observe Elise closely. This had been the first time since the night before the winter holiday that he had had a chance to just stare at her, enjoy her features, the way she smiled, the way her elfish little nose wrinkled when Alex would mention something unsavory.

"Alex, you swoon when Remus walks in a room, its not like _he's_ an Adonis!" Elise added, rolling her eyes dramatically.

"Well maybe he isn't but Sirius is," giggled Alex, swinging her scarf about, dreamy and aimless. When Mackenzie concurred Elise could not help but protest.

"You're crazy, you're both crazy!"

"Did you skip puberty, Elle? I mean, you must fancy _someone_—don't your hormones rage at all?" Alex asked curiously, smiling broadly, calculating Elise's taciturn answer.

Elise giggled, throwing a pillow at Alex. "They rage… quietly, unlike _yours_." She began mimicking Alexandra in a high-pitched, punch-drunk tone. "Oh-my-gosh, Remus _looked_ at me today, we met eyes and-and I think I'm in love! Lucius called me a twit today, do you think he likes me? Can you believe it—I bumped into Sirius after practice and he was sweaty—oh god, it was _so_ hot! Oh and did I tell you he made _four_ passes to me today… it's so brilliant when he does that!" Elise ceased her mockery to smirk at Alex, "You really go on about Sirius Black." She taunted shamelessly, not bothering to suppress a bright grin.

Alex could do nothing but laugh back, "Oh you know his perspiration is perfectly swoonable."

"Maybe to you, I'd say go take a shower—I'm not a fan of the unkempt look," Elise smirked.

"_Grunge_," Alex corrected her.

These were good pointers for Sirius; he would know not to lunge at Elise after a rigorous quidditch practice. On the other hand he was a little disappointed that she did not care for him in all forms of the weather. He hoped it was her delicate modesty causing her to paint so ill a picture of him.

Elise rolled her eyes again, giggling to herself as she leaned her head back against her bed headboard.

"So who do you fancy?" Alex asked slyly, a few moments later.

Elise shrugged, look away a little. "The man in the moon—I don't know… Who is there to like that's not taken… and besides I'm not really in the market, you know what I mean. You've known my luck with boys, it's been terrible."

The girls exchanged knowing glances, smiling in agreement.

"That's not to say it won't change," Mackenzie put in encouragingly.

Elise snorted. "I wish I could believe you… don't you remember 'Warty Willaim Wetherby'—and that older Malfoy boy?"

"Yes, the Slytherins always like you," Alex said pensively, "I've always wondered why… you know, I mean, you're perfectly attractive and that's not the matter, it's just a matter of…"

"My blood," Elise answered for her, one corner of her mouth turned up sneeringly. "Yes, I know… and believe me, I only called William 'warty' because he deserved it. I only suppose that the half of them want a muggle-born _toy_."

"William was attractive though, I would have given him a chance," Mackenzie acknowledged.

"Attractive save for that lovely protruding mole above his brow, besides that, he would not have been half bad, I suppose," Alex mused thoughtfully.

"Oh c'mon lets' stop with this, I don't want to remember any of that…" Elise sighed, eager to change the subject.

"You're so funny Elle; you'll do anything to avoid the subject of boys. Name one attractive boy, one boy that you fancy physically at all… just one, Elle, there has to be _one_!" Alex prodded, crossing her arms and looking relentless.

"Remus is… pleasant," Elise muttered some moments later.

"We said _attractive_, not pleasant," Mackenzie chided.

Elise chewed on her lip a bit longer, looking defeated, obviously seeking some form of escape. "Fine," she conceded at last, "Sirius Black is…" Elise made a sour face as she uttered the word, "attractive."

Mackenzie laughed triumphantly. "Ha! I told you, he's infectiously attractive!"

"Infectiously attractive?" Elise laughed, "I'm not breaking out in chicken pocks or anything. I don't see what's so _infectious_ about him anyway."

"That was stupid, Elle," Mackenzie brushed off the comment. "Now we know what you really think."

Sirius was pleasantly surprised to hear Elise voice his _infectious_ attraction, and concluded in his mind to use this opportunity to make mental notes about what all the Marauders should do in the case of these four Gryffindor girls. Perhaps it would boost Moony to know that he was "pleasant," but he doubted it.

There was suddenly a joyful squeal and Sirius jumped in his corner, nearly dropping the card in his hands.

Alex was looking eagerly out a little oval window near her four poster bed. "The Slytherin team is out practicing!"

Elise snorted, "Fabulous. The snakes have wings and you want to watch them."

"Let's go down and see it, shall we?" Alex insisted, bouncing eagerly on her mattress.

Mackenzie, who didn't appear to mind the idea of braving the frosty air in her bed clothes to watch a band of males toss around a quaffle, jumped to attention and started to pull on her shoes.

Elise sat there with a soured expression. "Lily would think you girls are stupid."

"Well, Lily at least knew how to have a good time—sometimes," Mackenzie sniffed, throwing a crimson and gold scarf around her neck.

Elise's mouth dropped. "Forgive me for not having your same taste Macky."

"You know I hate that nick name _Elle_."

Alex and Mackenzie had skipped to the door and gazed back at Elise with that look of "you can still come you know!" Elise shrugged it off and bid them an enjoyable male sporting, forcing a smile for them.

The door closed behind them and a gigantic sigh escaped Elise's lips. She looked wearily around the room for a moment, a lonely, delicate figure sitting on the edge of her bed in a pair of blue striped boy shorts and a loose grey sweatshirt, waves of brown hair falling gracefully down her shoulders and back. Sirius smiled in his corner, watching her. _Infectious_… the word played in his mind over and over… she was the infectious one. He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. He had to make a move, but it was so incriminating…

Elise wandered over to the record player, placing the pin back on the track. A few crackling noises later, the sounds of The Doors filled the dorm, "C'mon baby light my fire…" echoed its way into the room and Elise began to shuffle her feet along the cherry wood floor. Her little feet, encased in gold knee socks skidded to the beat and she twirled and let it all loose in what she thought was the privacy of her own dormitory.

Suddenly in her lonely dancing, her hand hit something invisible in mid-air. This object encased her hand in its invisible own, and she was brought close into it… embraced and then, against all voluntary action, the invisible thing took her lips in its own. She was too shocked and horrified to battle the air… air that for some reason smelled like the refreshingly musky cologne Sirius Black always wore… The air was speaking too… with Sirius Black's voice.

"So I'm attractive eh?"

That's when it hit. Elise yelped and screamed, jumped back, trying to dislodge herself from a very invisible Sirius.

"Sirius!"

"Yes…?"

"Show yourself!"

"Make me."

She growled and clawed at the air again where he'd been all of five seconds prior.

"C'mon, stop it, show yourself!"

She could hear him chuckling. "What if I'm naked?"

Her face flushed at the thought and it caused Sirius to laugh even harder. There was a creak over by her bed and she realized he'd plopped himself there to laugh and wheeze in amusement. Hardly thinking of the consequences, she lunged herself at the indentation made by the invisible figure on her mattress. She hit him straight on, accidentally jabbing him with her elbow and now the laughing had turned to whining and the invisibility cloak had fallen off. Sirius cast it aside to examine the place in his ribs where Elise had so effectively bruised him.

"Well you're not naked I guess," she frowned at him, slapping his shoulder briskly.

"I could change that…" Sirius grinned.

Elise narrowed her eyebrows but laughed. "How the hell did you get in here?"

"Artfully," Sirius continued to grin, cocking his head to the side and resting it, like a puppy, on her shoulder, those big gray eyes scorching her heart. She had gone rigid at the contact, nervous and anxious and very very attracted.

"Okay," she said, biting her lip in thoughtful calculation. "Why?"

"I was just curious…"

"About…"

"Why you give me mixed signals."

Her face had gone blank and a nervous lump was growing in her throat. "I do?"

"Yeah, you do, Collier."

"Why would you care if I did… there are plenty of other… prettier girls."

This time Sirius narrowed his brows, leaning back, affronted by the comment. "So that's what you think of me then? You think I'm some superficial ass of a bloke who wants a shag out of anything, like I could walk around with a manikin and be satisfied? You think I don't really want you, I want the outside, the covering, the body… you think I'll be done with you once I've conquered the territory don't you? Tell me exactly what you think, Elise, just tell me…"

Elise was looking down at her hands; she refused to meet his eyes as she answered. "Yes, I think all those things. But I also think… you want to change but I don't think it should be fore me… it should be for yourself, if anyone." She dared to look at him now, and his face was pensive and serious, a guise of stern contemplation.

"I don't get you Collier, not one bit… sometimes its like… like you actually want me and then—like now—you treat me, tell me, I'm like something on the bottom of my shoe. You tell me I'm a jerk and I should change but I shouldn't change to be with you… even though _you_ know I want to be with you, and I've been obvious about it. I ignored you and it didn't work for me. Collier, stop fucking with me."

"I've never done that yet," she said with a little grin.

He couldn't quite grin back; frustration had built up in his chest in a matter of minutes.

"So…you want to be with me, tell your preppy little friends you want to be with me, come out and say four-eyes Collier is my girl friend—potentially?" Collier quizzed him brusquely. "I couldn't see it, honestly, Sirius."

"Your glasses are sexy first off and you've become remarkably attractive in the last few months, you're one of the top in our class and you can jinx the pants off any bloody Slytherin you'd like… I don't think I would have any hesitation telling any of my mates or the Hogwarts student body that you're mine—potentially."

She gazed at him for what seemed like a long moment. "Sirius… I want to… I'd like to, I really would but times are dangerous… your family, if they were to even have the slightest inkling of you being attached to a muggle born, it would be too savory a target. I would be putting you in unnecessary jeopardy."

Sirius' mouth formed a straight line, "I've been disowned, Collier, I've put myself in jeopardy if anything… don't think that way."

Elise sighed and it was not one of hope or promise.

"Collier…" Sirius continued. "I can't keep this mum for too long, I don't want to and if you want me to be noble at all, I should come out and say it."

"Say what?" Elise queried with an edge.

For some reason it would be easy to say, the words came to his mind with ease and his heart didn't pound from nervousness but with pleasure at the idea. So he said it. "This is the girl I want and I want to love her if she'll let me…you are the girl I want and I want to love you… if you'll let me, Elle."

……….

……………..

………………….

Somehow this was not what he'd planned for the evening. Somehow he just didn't care that there wasn't any apparent dirt on Mackenzie McGavott for Moony. Somehow he was suddenly perfect. This would definitely be diary worthy once he'd soaked all the sweetness out of the air and kissed Collier senseless.*

_A/N: I always enjoy commentary, feedback. Hate it? Love it? Want more? Gotta tell me. -Ama_


	22. Old Flames

**Chapter 22: Old Flames**

**Disclaimer: I own no rights, no nothing yehaw!**

_A/N: Almost the end of a long journey. Just a small piece to sustain. –Amalynne _

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The pages of the diary were growing thin, and Remus (though generally a patient man) was tempted to skip ahead. "Only once," he told himself, "Just a peek." And so his thumb caught one of the last pages, sending him into the last weeks of Sirius Black's life.

The scene materialized in Grimmauld Place, a seasoned Sirius stood perched at the foot of the staircase, hair at his shoulders, ruggedly tossed in his eyes, sporting the new clothing from Harrods that Kingsely had been so kind to pick out for him. A petit witch in her thirties, with short dark hair coifed in stylish layers, stood at his side, fidgeting in her sport coat and red stilettos. She looked out of place in the house, exhausting the look of an expensive muggle businesswoman. They had happened to meet alone, it wasn't intentional, but neither minded.

"You're still around," Sirius smirked at Elise, "You must have kept our secret."

"And I'll keep it to the grave," Elise grinned back wryly, "If that's what you want."

He looked at her, searching for a moment, looking for missing pieces to a puzzle that had been abandoned for nearly 13 years. "It wasn't right of me…" he started.

"We were kids," Elise put in before he could finish. "We do things in the moment because of our drives… because we're convinced we're right, we grow beyond that if we're lucky. I know you'd never do it now."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Do you, because I don't… God, you wouldn't believe some of the things I've considered being locked up in this musty rat hole. It can make you mad…" He sounded as though he were about to reveal some deep inner struggle but decided to spare Elise—and himself- the awkwardness.

"But you need a sort of madness to get through times like these, Sirius, it's not all bad… madness, that is." Elise offered a haunting smile, barely breaking at the corners of her mouth.

"I don't know what to think of that Collier, coming from you—it is Collier, right, not something worse or more dignified?" A trace of distaste was unmistakable in Sirius' tone, which he quickly tried to mask with a twitching sort of grin.

"It was Bruhns, until about 11 months ago…" Elise began in a slow, guarded sort of way.

"Divorce," Sirius assumed quickly, almost smug.

Elise licked her lips and smiled, a curt, detached smile, the kind you give someone when they've struck a nerve. "Murdered, on business. Well," Elise began hastily, fighting back emotion, "He was a muggle you see, an American… very adventurous, would never listen to me… and if Death Eaters hadn't gotten to him first, I'm sure sky diving, bungee jumping, or spelunking would have finished him off… I'd rather it had been those things, or none of them at all, just not the way it happened." Elise trailed off weakly, eyes fixed on the moldy peeling wallpaper of Sirius' drawing room.

Sirius was taken aback, ashamed, and red faced at his previous tactless blurting. "I-I didn't know…"

"It's alright," she answered quickly, pulling her eyes away from the stripped wallpaper. "He wouldn't have wanted me blabbing about it anyway… he never liked anything unpleasant, hated funerals, hated to be at his own, I'm sure," Elise smiled awkwardly.

"What was his name?" Sirius asked out of pure curiosity.

"Thomas."

"Good strong name…" Sirius smirked.

"It looked good on business cards," Elise said, unable to hide a thick, painful tremor, though she was smiling. "I loved him terribly," she stated after a long moment.

Sirius fidgeted, he could not place the blaze of emotions that were consuming him: pain for Elise and her loss, fury that death came on swift wings for the innocent, fury that he had never loved, and fury that he had never shared that love with her. It was funny how old flames came back so heated, sharp, and biting. A world beyond a cell held so much raw human feeling, at times he wished for the old confinement, as not to endure the overwhelming swelter of emotion that engulfed the world. The exposure to this manner of loss and emotion was at times a horrific rush of feelings that Sirius had not had to face for years. He was gradually finding the pieces again…

"Is Remus here, then?" Elise asked to fill the void of painful silence.

"Somewhere," Sirius shrugged, visibly consumed in a thought that left him eyeing her in a haunting, hungry sort of way.

She wished she could have felt disturbed, worried even, by the way his grey eyes bore through her, but she could not manage it… she felt elated, longing, ashamed… There was a strange tingly, youthful excitement in seeing him again, as though not a day had passed since she laughed with him in her dormitory, perfectly delighted to be in his roguish company. He was wild still, wilder than before, fearless of death, so perilously attractive despite the years of wear and Azkaban torture.

She didn't realize she had gazed off into a distracted oblivion until she heard Sirius' voice on the other side, taking her by utter surprise.

"We would have had nine kids, you know, all brats, and you'd have loved them, Collier."

Elise blinked for a moment, mouth agape, "I—_what_?"

"You know we would have," Sirius said without the slightest trace of shame. "And I might have even asked you to marry me, even though I'm not the marrying type… and I think I would have liked it too."

Elise was gradually growing redder, eyebrows narrowing as she considered it. "I-I, you—you never would have, Sirius! I waited for two years and you _never_ wanted to talk about it,"

Amused by her visible ferocity withheld for over a decade, Sirius could not help but laugh. "Of course I would have, Elle! I had every intention to; I just didn't want to allow you a sense of complacency… I wanted it to be a bloody surprise and it would have been… if things had gone a little differently."

"You say that now," Elise snapped, "but you strung me along for a while!"

"Lily said you thought that," Sirius uttered with a smile quiet remembrance, "When she heard what my true intentions were she was really excited for it, it took everything she had in her not to tell you… I was going to ask you that Christmas…And besides, you loved the stringing along part. You were mad for me Collier, you told me every morning."

Elise was thoroughly red in the face, huffing and puffing with embarrassment. "This is cruel to do to me, you know, to a woman who has just lost her husband—reminding me of that wretched past. You think you're life ended, Sirius, when James and Lily died, think of how mine ended; I had no one left! The ministry tried me as your accomplice and for years I was treated like a vile conspirator, even Dumbledore turned his back to me, even when I applied for a post at the school I loved, they wouldn't have me… and I hated you. I truly did… it was hard to at first, because I knew you, I loved you…"

Sirius flinched at the words, his heart picking up speed, like a steam engine gaining momentum, heading straight for a solid brick wall. This could not end well.

Elise continued on, impassioned, "You couldn't have been evil. Over time I forced myself to accept an untruth and now it's hard to believe the truth. The truth was all I ever wanted. That's why I left to the states for so many years, the integration was easier, and life was fresh… but even then evil slithers its way into the happiest and most protected parts of life. You don't know what it was like, Sirius," her voice became a whisper as she fought back feeling, her hands shakily, running through her auburn hair, "when I came home that morning and your bed was empty, the apartment had been sacked, and the _Prophet_ had your face screaming back at me from page 1. I cried my heart out for hours, screaming into pillows, catatonic, unable to feel… and then they came for me and I sat through the hearings pretending that I had been your conspirator, wishing the accusations were true so they could put me up there with you, somewhere near at least, any Azkaban cell to be near you. Lily, James, you… what did I have left. I envied you. You didn't have to live, how lucky, and I just couldn't hate you."

Sirius' eyes blazed like wild fire, unreadable in their pulsing fanatical fervor.

Elise gasped as rush of humiliation washed over her. "I-I'm so sorry Sirius, I shouldn't be here, I told Molly I shouldn't be here… this isn't right, isn't fair. I should have shut up; I just should have bloody shut up."

Who knows what would have happened next however if Harry had not stumbled down the hall after Kreacher, swearing violently as the ancient elf hobbled off with a pair of clean socks. "Those are mine, your ruddy, worm-ridden parasite; they weren't '_befouling'_ anything!" Harry halted in his tracks however as he realized he had interrupted a private interlude between his godfather and a stately looking witch.

"Oh-oh, sorry, Sirius, I didn't know you—"

"It's alright, Harry," Sirius insisted, appearing somewhat calmed and relieved by the disturbance, "I'd like you to meet an old schoolmate of mine, Elise Collier…Bruhns."

Elise managed a smile at Harry, extending a hand, in a surreal act as she looked back at the mirror image of James. "I have to tell you," she began.

"I look just like my dad?" Harry shrugged knowingly.

"Why yes, but better looking, you're lucky."

Harry rouged slightly, taking note of how truly pretty the witch actually was. The words blurted out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Did you two date, then?"

Barking laughter erupted from Sirius as he slapped his godson emphatically on the back, only causing the redness on Harry's face to increase to a very vibrant level. "Don't be shy, it's a fair question, wouldn't you say so, Elle?"

"It would only be a fair question if it _weren't_ true," Elise grinned, "but it's been ages. He was a total ass too and I was coerced and unjustly forced into a date with him… he called me four-eyes."

"And endured it for two years hence, Collier, don't tailor it to make yourself sound better."

Elise laughed lightly. "It was certainly a different time. We were great friends with your parents as I'm sure you know…"

"Wait," Harry halted, "You knew my parents before they died?"

Elise glanced at Sirius warily for a moment. "Why yes, I was quite close to your mother up until her passing… I have many baby pictures of you, Harry, embarrassing as that might be for you. I gave you a squeaking snitch on your first Christmas," Elise trailed off.

Harry blinked for a moment as he considered, his face lighting up with recognition, "You're in the album Hagrid gave me, and you had big glasses and are always talking to my mum."

Elise chuckled reminiscently, "Yes, those horn-rims were the rage in the 80's. Lily told me I looked booky."

"Collier, horn-rimmed glasses were never the rage, you just lacked taste," Sirius mocked playfully.

In an attempt to escape the increasingly awkward scene, Elise pursed her lips, and took Harry by the arm, "Your godfather is horrendous, let's go upstairs and find Molly, maybe she has some clean socks for you."

Sirius tried to sustain a smile as Elise chattily walked Harry up the stairs, his heart sinking into his stomach as he watched her go, wondering if she would ever have the heart to return.

There was a blur of mist, shifting the scene to the drawing room in Grimmauld Place. A meeting of sorts was taking place…

"Minerva McGonagall," Molly Weasely hissed, "You don't ask people questions of _that_ nature; I'd have thought you of all people would know!"

McGonagall fidgeted in her seat, nostrils flaring with indignant hostility. "I thought it a perfectly valid question, given the previous connection between Collier and Black."

Mrs. Weasley was standing, pacing before McGonagall, dithering about. "But you cannot, _cannot_ ask a person such as Ms. Collier whether she is currently having _relations_ with Sirius, it's just unheard of, tactless!"

"By _relations_, I merely meant those of the most innocuous sense; friendship, attachment, and yes, a romantic inclination. The Order must take every precaution!" McGonagall snapped, somewhat discomfited by the reception of the question she had directed at Elise.

Mrs. Weasley's mouth twitched on the verge of further protestations however chose to quiet herself, merely stating, "_Relations_, in the future, Minerva, is a sexual inference."

All the while Elise sat blinking, mortified at the question, red-faced and praying to god Sirius didn't stride in obliviously to the questioning fray.

"I think McGonagall has some legitimate concerns," a sly weedy voice drawled from across the room. In greasy glory sat Severus Snape, a deviant smile playing at the corners of his pencil thin lips. "Now isn't the time for secrets and division, such hindrances could jeopardize live. So, answer the question, Collier."

Visibly humiliated, radiating waves of utter fury towards Snape, Elise was tempted to flip him a gesture she only used while driving. Gathering herself, she answered testily, "I'm sure Sirius would much rather answer that, thank you!"

Her worst fear was realized as Sirius made his way into the room just in time to hear his name mentioned. "And what question would that be?"

"Your current relational status with Collier," McGonagall offered with shameless importance. "It is imperative to know potential hazards between Order members as they will be targeted by Death Eaters, in turn jeopardizing the lives of others… It is a question asked out of necessity," MacGonagal put in quickly upon viewing the incredulous expression stealing Sirius' features.

"Necessity?" Sirius paused for a moment, licking his lips in distracted contemplation. "Mhm, yes, I see…well, you've got a lot to worry about because we're pretty serious… yeah… we're planning on having ten puppies and naming them after world famous quidditch players, we're also into some really wild stuff too, we've been together ever since the beginning when Collier would send me dirty letters tucked into the newspapers sent to Azkaban," Sirius smirked with sardonic humor.

The room erupted with hysterical laughter.

"I've been locked up for thirteen years, when would I have cultivated any romantic ties? Least of all to Elise, who was married by the way, to a top tier human being!"

"We're merely going off patterns of previous behavior," Snape added, "canines hardly have the type of self-control you claim to possess."

"This is my house, Snape, I could ask you to leave it," Sirius began sternly.

"But you won't!" cried Mrs. Weasley who had flitted between Sirius and Snape who had come to stand militantly close to one another. "Because everyone's just being silly, silly is all, ridiculous!" Her voice cracked as she urged both wizards into their seats.

"Now," she sighed breathlessly, "We'll have a nice meeting and leave everyone's bedroom activities at the door!"

It would have been nice, Sirius thought internally, to drop kick Snape like a football, sending him soaring into the dirty streets of London. These were the thoughts that sustained his humor for the duration of the meeting, otherwise brooding at the eternal impossibility of Collier and that past she could not let him forget.

Elise's hazel eyes met his from across the room, they blazed like ambers against lava, no different than the day they'd kissed in the astronomy tower, soared through the air on his motorbike in the bewitching hours, shared a glass of champagne at a Paris café, argued over ice cream flavors in the grocery store, picked out names for their imagined children, danced at James and Lily's wedding, admitted love on the London trolley… the memories were endless and they had haunted him every hour and every day in his lonely Azkaban cell. What a shock it had been to know she lived, that she wasn't dead like the other images that haunted his mind. He yearned so badly to act on the memories, the haunting past, but he felt dead inside, like a rock that could do nothing but watch. It was a helpless feeling.

The meeting flew by without much of Sirius' attention, ending quite before he had realized it. Wizards stood to shake his hand and offer encouragement, but he absorbed very little of it, acting as if wired, mechanical, without thought. Only when the little brown haired witch approached him did the life light flicker on.

"Thank you for handling that so well," she said courteously, "I was really put on the spot, it was quite appalling."

Sirius shrugged. "It made things interesting, which is saying something for this house."

"I would… like to talk to you, alone, when we can really be alone," Elise spoke quietly. "If you would ever want to, I mean. I spoke without thinking earlier; I swear I won't do that again."

Sirius licked his lips for a moment, considering. "I hope you don't feel obligated, because of me… your life is your own now, everyone has moved forward, I don't expect you to feel like you need to wade in the past because of my… situation," he said stiffly.

"It's not about that. You cannot imagine my joy, Sirius, to know you are well. I would like to talk to you, let me… please. I won't let the wild woman consume me again, I'll reign in the emotion… you've never liked too much of that."

"I haven't," he shrugged, "but hearing your voice is better than not hearing it, wild woman or not," he smiled at her, a tempting sort of smile, causing her heart to melt just a little. She was looking at Sirius Black again and it was going to be alright.

It was a small dose enlightenment for Remus as he closed the diary, but skipping ahead stole the luster of the journey and he would not be tempted to do it again.*

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_A/N: Back to the past with the next entry. We're getting close to the end guys. I just had this little piece floating around and wanted to share it. Review :) _


	23. The Smell of War

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

_Dear Readers: I started this fanfiction when I was sixteen, and nearly eight years later I've never quite been able to finish it or let it go and well... with that being said, I'm ready to tie up the loose ends to this story and start a fresh Year 7 Diary with some new flair. Thank you all my loyal readers, I would send you all hugs and goodie bags if I could._

_Best,_

_-Amalynne_

**_I'm writing other things, friend me on facebook and twitter (AmalynneO), refer to profile. _**

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**February 20th, 6th Year:**

Sirius was alone again tonight.

Ever since Lily had resurfaced James had spent the evenings in the Gryffindor common room clipped at her side, calmly acquainting her with the weeks' worth of lessons she had missed. In all but two week Sirius' world had flipped a bitch. Moony had grown broody and resentful of Sirius' empty promises to wreak revenge on McGavott, James had turned into the kind of glassy eyed zombie fresh love creates, and Sirius had sent his own love to the dogs.

The evening he'd spent in the girl's dormitory, touting his deepest teenage affections haunted his mind, and he'd wondered how, for the hundredth time, he'd managed to ruin it again. _Yes, again_. The empty words he'd thrown at other girls had been artfully concocted, even scribbled in notebooks to help build a stash of romantic eloquence, but he'd been no Casanova as far as Elise was concerned... he'd been an idiot. He must have been, because the following day after having swelled with confidence that he was finally on a morally monogamous path, he couldn't go through with it. Not only did Elise seem to have iced over the following day, glaring at him with the expectation that he would proclaim their romance to the public, but Lily's return and James' apparent change, had startled Sirius. He was still young, dammit, and what he was seeing from James was startling serious. Perhaps it frightened Sirius to consider someone in the same way, but he couldn't even meet Elise's eyes, horrified at the prospect of appearing so publicly attached… or as whispering observers would say, "whipped."

"I understand that I wasn't exactly forthcoming with my feelings," Sirius remembered Elise's words that week, "but I thought we'd decided to just put it all aside and… well, be together."

"I'm not built for it, Elle," Sirius had admitted to his feet, avoiding his reflection at the edge of the lake, "can't we just stay 'off the books,' you know… avoid the labels, the opportunity to appear as though we matter too much to each other… it's a dangerous thing, relationships, these days…"

She'd merely glared at him with hazel eyes that burned with silent anger. "If this is about James and Lily, we're hardly the same people."

"Hardly," Sirius had snorted, with a touch of resentment, crossing his arm as he fidgeted slightly.

A resigned sigh was released through Elise's nostrils as she looked him over. "Look, Sirius, I don't want a ring, I don't want a kid, and I don't want anyone setting the game for me… so, when you're ready to stop playing games, send me an owl."

With that she turned on her heels, marching away with the kind of emotionless detachment that paralyzed Sirius, her chestnut colored hair waving goodbye with the wind.

The conversation echoed in and out of his mind the weeks that followed, loudly screaming back to him as he ran through the forbidden forest in his canine form. He was angry at himself, but there was a wily part of his conscience suggesting, "You're too young to bother with that, you're sixteen, you let yourself love something too soon, it's like leaving a party before ten…" Even still, he was not altogether convinced, so he ran.

The dark spindly shadows of leafless trees against a frosted forest floor, the gentle crunch of his padded paws on the icy ground mingled with the brisk spring breeze allowed Sirius' thoughts to grow numb. Too many nights he'd spent out alone lately, too much seriousness had landed itself at Hogwarts. Times were changing, a war was whispering in the wind. That Sirius could swallow, but he could not allow himself to change. He would smirk in the face of the debilitating seriousness.

As he embraced these sentiments, his shrewd gray eyes caught sight of an auburn flash, the whitened tip of a flourishing foxtail whip between a pair of gnarled, knot ridden trees. With mindless instinct, feet carried him faster after the object, increasingly enticed through every thicket of wild trees as the tail swished just barely within sight. With panting breaths, his eyes growing bright and triumphant, Padfoot's paws came within inches of the teasing tail, his jaws opening to snap playfully when a wave of icy dirt was kicked into his face, halting him with a yelp. After shaking out his eyes and dirt splattered coat, he cast a darting look which way to catch sight of the offender with little avail. An empty darkness looked back at Sirius through the trees and he was about to press his nose to the floor to sniff out the fox's trail, when a new scent his hit nostrils, sickly sweet with the metallic traces of freshly spilt blood.

The fur on his back rose went rigid with a blanket of goose bumps, his paws digging into the dirt to ground him as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, the shadows revealing themselves in the shapes of figures in a small clearing below. The murmurs of voices, as soft and hissing as the wind between the trees, traveled up to Sirius' position on the shelf of earth overlooking a sloping basin of exposed roots and rock to the occupied clearing. In numb fixation Sirius watched the scene below, the sound of light breathing meeting his side, no doubt the luring fox from earlier this evening and many evenings before. This had not been another one of her games after all…

A green light was encircling the arc of cloaked figures, creeping out like fingers around the white exposed wrists of the shrouded company.

"They come here every night," a light female voice said in his head, his eyes darting to his left to view the piercing brown eyes of the fox, "coming down from their towers up the hill."

The animal had never offered him more conversation than this, nothing so clear and distinct a voice, more cleverness than he knew a fox could possess.

"These are students?" his teeth barred as the thought hit him, startling again to hear the fox's musical voice in his ears.

"All young faces, green is their color," she informed him, her eyes narrowed down at the scene as the green light ringed out in an expanding glow that teased their position in the trees, "can you smell the war coming?"

He could. The sweet smell, burning blood and flesh from the green light wafted through the air, hitting his nostrils with such intensity that the world started to blur, his four legs trembling as he felt his body hit the dirt, his eyes rolling back with the voice of Elise crying out in his ear.

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Feedback, always appreciated :)


	24. Bloody Sixth Year

Disclaimer: Dude, I owneth nothing.

_Author's Note: At some point when I was writing I realized I had deviated from Remus' point of view, because really, Remus is experiencing watching Sirius' memories… naturally he wouldn't hear his thoughts, a flaw of mine, but heck, I'm human. This is the last chapter. I'm summing up some developments and kick starting year 7. I've loved writing this, I've loved all my readers, but the time has come my little friends to talk of other things, of snitches with legs and some with wings, of blacks good, bad, and in-between…_

_Message me any time, I love my readers and check out my original fiction with characters just as sexy and snarky, if I do say so myself._

_All my love,_

_Amalynne_

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**Chapter 24: Bloody Sixth Year**

There was a letter taped crudely onto the following date in Sirius' diary as Remus listened to the splattering rain, beating angrily against the roof so that Buckbeat sputtered feathers every few minutes, disquieted by the lingering storm. The tape-secured note had yellowed terribly; the parchment folded two or three times over, creased and smudged with wear, the script long and jagged, the ink blotched and faded so that it was just barely legible. Remus brought the diary against his nose so he could decipher the clearly prized chicken scratch…

_Sirius,_

_From this day forth, you and all those in your allegiance have deigned yourself to death. You will be hunted, cast out as foes among parasitic bath of mudbloods. You have been denounced of your blood and bathed in the slop of banal mortality. Never consider yourself safe and never consider yourself Black._

_-Father_

Remus wasn't sure what to think as he ran his fingers over the date scribbled just below the daunting letter, jolted forward in a swirling blur…

**March 21****st****, 6****th**** Year:**

It was a blustery freezing rain that pounded through the exposed pockets of roof in the Owlery, the weather no more pleasant in Sirius' memory than outside it. It could have been afternoon or early morning, it was difficult to tell what with the wretched downpour as James and Sirius stood gazing over a small rain splattered piece of parchment, a crimson sealing ribbon clutched in Sirius' hand at his side.

"Banal morality?" James read back, his dark brows quirked in amusement, "got a thing for poetry doesn't he?"

James' tone was light but his expression waned as he read Sirius' countenance, a sickly intensity, drawing the color out of his cheeks.

"Mate?" he cued him, cocking his head to the side.

Sirius was a statue, his hands flexing briefly as if to crumple the letter, but perhaps thought better of it. Instead, with a strained sigh, puffing a cloud of freezing breath, he folded the letter into careful fourths before placing it with reverent care in his pocket. This was unnatural, clearly James thought so, his face revealed a sort of contorted bewilderment as he blinked after Sirius who had started a suspiciously calm gait out of the Owlery.

James was quick to catch up with him, calling out with confusion, "Mate, honestly, what do you make of it?"

Sirius released a sigh through his nostrils, glancing at James briefly. "I think I'm going to need to take Alphard up on his offer," he answered with a kind of curtness that hinted Sirius might prefer to be alone.

"You're always welcome 'chez moi,'" James smiled too brightly, unable to grapple with this oh so serious Sirius.

"You read the letter," Sirius stopped in his tracks, just before the lower staircase, "you'd be implicated, your mum, your dad, even your ugly corgie, I'll get my own place, James." There was a coolness in the way he had said his name that startled Prongs.

Sirius started his descent down the steps as James stared after him, his eyes raging with his own breed of anger. "_James_?" he repeated back with insult, "we're so formal now? What the hell is this, we're best mates, sappy as that may be, but you've got an obligation to tell me what the hell is going on in your pea brain and I've got an obligation to hear it!"

Sirius halted in place, turning to look up at his friend with a weariness shining in his gray eyes. "Things are going to have to change, don't you see that? I've got a sadistic family who wants my head and the head of anyone I'm remotely close to. I told you what I saw in the forest last month, the threats are real. I can't bother with this sixth year bullshit, there's an expression and it goes 'shit just got real,' well, shit just got real!"

"So it did!" James cried out, "it doesn't mean you have to pretend you don't have anyone that's willing to stick it out with you, you don't need to pretend you're so goddamn alone, because Moony would agree, _that's_ bullshit."

Sirius' chest was heaving with visible anguish, his breath slowing as he managed to calm himself, James' words changing something in his eyes, a softer kind of acceptance. He nodded after a few ponderous moments, mumbling quietly, "I'm sorry I called Wiggy ugly."

* * *

Lily was waiting for James in the Gryffindor Common Room, a sight Remus could tell Sirius still had trouble getting used to. No one was really sure how it had happened, Lily's return after the death of her parents had rendered a sort of impenetrable magnetism between herself and mop-top Potter. James had proven himself a more sympathetic supporter than anyone could have imagined and Lily had somehow softened to allow it. If they weren't a couple yet, they were bound to be, and Sirius could not stomach it this particular afternoon, what with an unpleasant letter, and his own love life plummeting into extinction. One step in the Common Room and an analysis of his prospects, he resigned to release James to his romanticism. Casting him an encouraging smirk, he waved James off to join his fair maiden. It was all for the best, Sirius knew he'd be better suited out where he could think. He didn't even think anyone would notice, the Potter/Evans duo seemed the current Gryffindor distraction and he could live with that for a little while.

He thought about morphing to all-fours as he strolled out into the cool spring air, the rain subsiding bleakly to reveal a murky afternoon sky, mirrored broodingly in the placid glassy lake. Being Padfoot would make things easy, but he needed to be Sirius now. The dismal weather keeping the student body locked up in the warmth of their Common Rooms, Sirius was able to reflect undisturbed by the lakeside, his feet crossed under him as he watched ripples pool from the loose stones he flicked gently into the water.

"Bloody sixth year…" he mumbled under his breath, staring off at a nearby rock mindlessly.

It was an odd shape for a rock, holey and unusually large in comparison to the smooth fist-sized cobbles that scattered the shallow bank. He blinked, once, twice, what was that sticking out from below one of the crags? He rose to his feet, hunched slightly as he pushed back a bristle of slick stubby reeds to reveal someone's lakeside hiding nook. Wedged into it were a set little yellow socks, most likely a girl's, two dirt smeared black flats, and most curious of all, a pair of thick, black horn-rimmed glasses. Sirius pulled them out with wide eyes, mouthing the only word he could think of.

"Elise."

He looked around wildly, stupidly under rocks as though she'd shrunk in size, swearing bitterly as he whizzed about in place. What the hell was this? He thought to leave the items where he found them, but this development was too queer to leave well alone. His eyes shined brightly as he considered that his dog form would allow him to sniff out the mystery and he was about to make the furtive trek into the forest to make the transformation when something red flashed just outside his periphery. He glanced behind him, a smile creeping to his lips, the chase a pleasant and familiar thing in his dog form. Just as he'd expected the little red fox stood but a body length away from him, her brown eyes narrowed with inquisitive inspection. She was funnier now that he was in his human form, small for a fox, a lighter brown than red with long silky pointed ears. He almost laughed out-loud, but before he knew it something distinctly "un-funny" happened. She charged at him, unable to react in time, he barely realized what had happened… he was unharmed, but the horn-rimmed glasses in his hand had been yanked from his grasp and off scampered the fox, merely a swishing tail with Elise's spectacles clamped between her teeth.

The diary lurched Remus back into the present, blinking at the page with curiosity. That was it? He flipped forward and back, there was only one entry left for Sirius' sixth year and it told the reader very little…

**March 22****nd****, 6****th**** Year:**

_Every bloke wants a fox in the metaphorical sense, but I'm not sure how I feel at the prospect of literally having one. _

_-S_

Remus swelled with annoyance, if anything Sirius' diary had been carelessly haphazard and lazily updated, if at all, a sixth year of ups and downs, of this and that, and all the teen angst a reader could ask for, but something was missing… Questions still burned from the past and with the smallest little smile, Remus turned the page to find Sirius' familiar blotchy script,

"**September 1****st****, 7****th**** Year**."

The End

…for now

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_Look for **The Not-so Secret Diary of Sirius Black: Year 7** in a fanfiction forum near you! -Amalynne 3_


	25. Year 7

To all my loyal readers, Sirius' 7th year has started. Please feel free to blip on over to The Not-So Secret Diary of Sirius Black on my profile for the start of the next installment.

All my love,

Ama


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